Shitting Is Awesome
There are two things in life you can count on: death and shitting.
Fuck taxes.
Women invented taxes.
Sometimes, I listen to the conversations of women. Sometimes like when two women in two different cars park going opposite ways in the middle of the fucking street just because they see the other one driving. Well done. You’re driving, I’m driving. Let’s throw a fucking parade.
Oh wait, we can’t because two donkey, half-wits have parked right in the middle of the street. Send all the kids home and tell the clowns to go fuck themselves.
All women talk about when they’re on their own is men. Who can blame them? Is there any topic more fascinating and engaging than men and their man-tivities? I think not. Men are better than women.
Men are dirty!
False. Women zero, Dick one. Ever heard of Mr. Clean? There’s no Miss Clean. There is a Mrs. Butterworths. What the fuck does that tell you?
Men have no feelings!
I guess some fucking woman directed Schindler’s List then. Dick two.
All men talk about is the toilet!
Half true. Women get half a point and I get seven. I win.
Men enjoy talking about the toilet — specifically the big number two. Captain deuce. The high-flying cargo drop. So what?
Going to the bathroom with poop is the first thing a human being learns to master. Think about that for a second. You, me, the pope, even some kind of 17th century violin prodigy; everyone still has to take a shit first before they get their hands on any bibles or violins or whatever you do. And once men master something goddammit we stick to it like man-glue. We never stop enjoying it. For men, the destination is the journey, the sauce is seller, and the toilet is an inspiring metaphor of life.
Men are all about the fundamentals. That’s how we do everything so fucking perfectly every time. The first thing we men learn how to do is take a shit. We’re not going to just drop it right there. That would make us women, not men. We’re going to keep talking about shitting. We’re going to keep perfecting it and ourselves by bringing it to the forefront of conversation and discussing it openly and honestly — and hilariously. That’s manly.
That’s why there aren’t any women virtuoso anything’s, because as soon as a woman learns how to scrape by she stops trying. The only thing women ever learn is how to sell their vaginas to the highest bidder. No matter who wins, we all fucking lose.
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November 30th, 2006 at 1:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6fce8a695c00f
As to “Women invented taxes” makes sence, my country has alot of female politicians … and we have insane taxes.
example; a pack of rolling tobacco (50gram) costs 26.37 USD
A pack of 20 cigarettes 11.63 USD..
November 30th, 2006 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Which country is that, Sy?
-Dick
November 30th, 2006 at 1:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 69a3bde3f54d5
No, men invented good taxes. For war and roads. Manquirements for commerce and survival.
Women invented bullshit taxes, like extracting money for their bastards. They call it “progressive”, I call it regressive, since matriarchy is nothing new the but oldest way to a societal death dive.
November 30th, 2006 at 1:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
What the fuck is up with ’societal’?! Stop using feminist made up bullshit words!
- Boomfunk Mc`s - Super electric
November 30th, 2006 at 1:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 69a3bde3f54d5
I weigh 500 lbs due to SOCIETEL TRENDS.
November 30th, 2006 at 8:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952
I’m sure it’s in the OED as well. With an origin late in the 19th Century, I’m not sure we can blame that one on feminism.
-wolfe
November 30th, 2006 at 11:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: b023a6fa2ca74
We know women only make up words like “thingamajig” and “dololly”.
December 1st, 2006 at 1:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f0331adb6577
this site makes me want to abuse a women right now.
December 1st, 2006 at 3:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 9341701959f31
Once, in Cairo, I paid a cunt to let me take a dump inside her mouth. I paid her with a check without funds and I didn’t tell her that my shit was filled with verm ova. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…what a dumb whore…
December 1st, 2006 at 10:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 6fce8a695c00f
Norway
December 1st, 2006 at 10:11 am - IP Man-Hash: 4ddd75673b393
I’ve heard terrible things about certain leaders of Norway.
-Dick