Shitting Is Awesome
There are two things in life you can count on: death and shitting.
Fuck taxes.
Women invented taxes.
Sometimes, I listen to the conversations of women. Sometimes like when two women in two different cars park going opposite ways in the middle of the fucking street just because they see the other one driving. Well done. You’re driving, I’m driving. Let’s throw a fucking parade.
Oh wait, we can’t because two donkey, half-wits have parked right in the middle of the street. Send all the kids home and tell the clowns to go fuck themselves.
All women talk about when they’re on their own is men. Who can blame them? Is there any topic more fascinating and engaging than men and their man-tivities? I think not. Men are better than women.
Men are dirty!
False. Women zero, Dick one. Ever heard of Mr. Clean? There’s no Miss Clean. There is a Mrs. Butterworths. What the fuck does that tell you?
Men have no feelings!
I guess some fucking woman directed Schindler’s List then. Dick two.
All men talk about is the toilet!
Half true. Women get half a point and I get seven. I win.
Men enjoy talking about the toilet — specifically the big number two. Captain deuce. The high-flying cargo drop. So what?
Going to the bathroom with poop is the first thing a human being learns to master. Think about that for a second. You, me, the pope, even some kind of 17th century violin prodigy; everyone still has to take a shit first before they get their hands on any bibles or violins or whatever you do. And once men master something goddammit we stick to it like man-glue. We never stop enjoying it. For men, the destination is the journey, the sauce is seller, and the toilet is an inspiring metaphor of life.
Men are all about the fundamentals. That’s how we do everything so fucking perfectly every time. The first thing we men learn how to do is take a shit. We’re not going to just drop it right there. That would make us women, not men. We’re going to keep talking about shitting. We’re going to keep perfecting it and ourselves by bringing it to the forefront of conversation and discussing it openly and honestly — and hilariously. That’s manly.
That’s why there aren’t any women virtuoso anything’s, because as soon as a woman learns how to scrape by she stops trying. The only thing women ever learn is how to sell their vaginas to the highest bidder. No matter who wins, we all fucking lose.
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Recently I made a manly humongous banana milkshake and had a damn constant fart attack the following day.
SHIT!
Never ever use cheap vanilla ice-cream just because the good quality is sold-out. You´ll have a fucking fartstorm coming.
Freud’s stages anybody?
I hope there’s no fixation there…
You misguided female. Anyone can shit, but it’s the toilet that requires practice to use properly. Women never master proper toilet use. They just shit, wipe (the wrong direction, mostly) and leave. Men contemplate their shit, how shitting feels, and then think about how life is going, and when will they take another shit. Shitting is an escape, a way of re-grouping your thoughts without a woman to nag and bitch about why the Hendersons next door have a BMW and why you don’t. Plus, shitting just feels awesome.
Nobody can make you do anything-that would make you a woman! That’s like arguing that Tom Cruise, or a religion, or anything can make an adult in their right mind attempt suicide. How often are often are women in their right mind? We don’t even have a control for that question, do we?
Point being-find some manly sound judgement for how you act.
Why do women fake orgasms? Because the think men care
why dont you tell me why, huh billy? Oh wait you have nothing but insults bcause you know nothing about politics and the agenda of those in power.
why dont you tell me why, huh billy? Oh wait you have nothing but insults bcause you know nothing about politics and the agenda of those in power.
Everything i said was true.
I am neither blind nor stupid.
Society is socially engineered.
And are the blind one.
You are as blind as you are stupid.
Taxes were invented by men.
The first known tax in America was levied by Charles II, who was determined to incorporate the US (colonies at the time) more fully into a mercantilist trading system.
Taxes are a tool invented by rich men to get more money.
Dont be mad at women because the Tax MAN raped you extra hard this year.
Instead maybe you should educated yourself regarding the Useless income tax.
Although the Supreme Court first rejected it in 1894, fiscal reformers wouldnt give up on this unconstitutional, unamerican rape of the common people.
In its first two years the tax provided only a small part of the government’s total revenue, but World War I transformed it, moving income taxes to the center of federal finance. Now it is used as a savings account for any war we feel inclined to get involved in. In fact we havent entered a constitutional war since 1941.
Raping the people to pay for war and then ssending the poor people to fight it is certainly not constitutional and obviously the idea came from a man.
Of course there’s a differance dipshit. Men have bigger brains, bigger muscles, better spelling, have invented better things, and don’t post stupid comments like this.
How is this topic needed?
Congrats, everyone goes to the bathroom, despite the gender
Oh man… you just don’t get it… completely different experience for men and women
I once heard a woman say “Girls don’t fart, they blossom” LMAO
Fart? Women fart? You’re fucking kidding. Women don’t fart because they can’t keep their fucking mouths shut long enough to build up enough pressure !!!!
Why would you have to practice shitting? It’s not something you learn…
Maybe they take their time while fantasizing about shitting on stupid women like you. You’re welcome to get the fuk off this site now.
now now billy no need to be rude…she was just asking a polite question :P
Mankiller said:
you men that go on this site are comediens you are all so funny with low iq’s you all show alot of emotion i will teach you how the brain works firstly majority of humans have a perfectly normal brain there is no difference between men and women and you all now that why are you all against women we all have the same brains so stop being stupid because men like you are making it look bad for the clever men oh actually carry on you are making them look great ha ha
What a deluded idiot. This pathetic display of grammar is NOT the result of having “the same brains” as a man. If we’re talking about low IQ’s and being stupid, this would be some good evidence of it. Straight from the horses mouth. Big horse arse too, no doubt.
There appears to be alot of the same women on this site. That’s ok because we all know that they have penis envy and want to be men too! (can’t blame them either).
It’s always the same women too. Lady’s, C’mon, if you want to be manly, try hormone therapy, get an “addadicktome” (that’s add-a-dick-to-me) operation, I’m sure the lezbos can fill you in on that one.
Talk more about taking a dump and farting. If you really want man points, learn to light your farts with the old bic butane lighter and let the good times roll. This will really make an impression on your boyfriend/husband or both!
Watch old reruns of married with children and take note of the king “Al Bundy”, he’s our role model.
Women don’t rate in my book until they can lay the equivelent of the “atlantic cable” in their toilet that requires at least two flushes to get it down.
Drop the chalupa baby!
-Banzai
Women think shitting is sooooo nasty. Well yall do it too. Most of the time yalls shit smells worse. Has anyone had to go to the bathroom right after their wife or girlfriend. You might as well go take a shit in a port-a-potty that has been cleaned out in 3 weeks. It smells the same
Reminds me of a good time I had with a friend. We were talking about who was the bitch, Tony Blair or the Queen. Such comedy was like ‘So what? Tony Blair runs the country’ or ‘You’re going to kill me like you did Princess Diana?’.
Classics.