Manly Man Men: Stephen Colbert

I only had to watch the Colbert Report a few times to realize Stephen Colbert deserved a spot of honor among the Manliest Man Men of our day.

Please note this is not to be confused with the Manliest Man Men of all time. I don’t know who the third Manliest Man Man of all time would be. Maybe Ghengis Khan? Steve McQueen? Steve McQueen is like a super manly man wearing a kilt. He’s wearing a fucking skirt, but he’s so manly it’s called a kilt and furthermore it’s the basis for the whole Scottish culture.

The only way Steve McQueen could be more manly was if his name was Fairy McWoman.

Stephen Colbert is the third manliest man man of our day because he has never been wrong.

See, part of being a man is knowing and admitting when you’re wrong — and that’s never. No man has ever been wrong ever. A man may have explained himself poorly or spoken out of context or been ill-informed of the facts or been in a foul temper or probably may even have been drunk or dyslexic; the fact remains he has never been wrong. Let me explain.

Are the ancient astronomers retarded for thinking the Earth was the center of the universe? Are they wrong? No. First of all, it makes good sense if you think about it from their point of view. I wake up every day and that’s when shit starts happening. And it happens in my country which is the center of all my maps. Shouldn’t my planet be the center of the fucking universe as well? How many sons does God have?

That’s right. It doesn’t seem retarded at all when you think of it like that. That’s the key word there, “think”. Men think about everything. They hypothesize and weight evidence and postulate without getting their underpants in a twist. Women just kind of spin together words they heard on television.

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

Yes. That makes no fucking sense either way.

“I’m my dog’s mommy.”

You are of a different species, madam. Secondly, all men are working toward the same goal of being right. In that way, all men are at all times one more step in the “right” direction. That makes all men right at all times and in everything they do. Women don’t collectively work toward anything except bringing more foul children into the world. That’s why crime rates are so much lower for single father homes.

Stephen Colbert has never been wrong and because he’s a man he never will be. He embodies that third most important principle of being a man; the giant collective man-force that moves worlds no matter which universe they’re not the center of.

Let me end on this, if someone is speaking French to you and you don’t understand does that make them wrong? Don’t be ridiculous. And don’t ever let a woman tell you you’re wrong. Her head is full of donkey shit.

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37 Comments in 37 threads.»

Comment by dbossnirvana
2008-05-23 10:38:25

Arielle said:

You know how I know that the man who wrote this article is obviously gay, is because all he does is talk about why men are better then women, it’s pretty obvious that he has a man crush and often wishes he was a women just to be able to have”relations” with a man…Yes I said it he is a closet homosexual he really really likes men better then women

Yeah, he probably lives with his mom’s basement, has a tiny pecker, and is a psychopathic sociopath who rapes little boys. Happy? Good.

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT OF THIS WEBSITE YOU FUCKING FAT CUNT DE MIERDA. No one gives a fuck about you or your “species”.

 
Comment by Arielle
2008-05-23 10:26:24

You know how I know that the man who wrote this article is obviously gay, is because all he does is talk about why men are better then women, it’s pretty obvious that he has a man crush and often wishes he was a women just to be able to have”relations” with a man…Yes I said it he is a closet homosexual he really really likes men better then women

 
Comment by MiSoGyNiSt
2008-04-08 09:06:02

I love it all, you have such a way with your words!!!!

 
Comment by Lindsay
2007-12-28 03:48:06

Stephen Colbert rocks. He’s the most committedly sarcastic person I’ve ever seen, which is both wonderful and unfortunate since there are plenty of people who are unable to read between the lines.

 
Comment by Karen
2007-12-03 17:46:33

I love Stephen Colbert!
I had caught an episode recently with the feminist writer, Naomi Wolf, sure that was a blast for you all
I know that it was old, I mean he mentioned that Andrew Meyers that got tasered at a Kerri speech in a Florida college
He is very funny though, I have read his book

 
Comment by retro
2007-11-20 11:30:58

Colbert for President! I love the guy and even though he’s wacky and wierd, he’d be better than any of the other candidates.

 
Comment by P Coderch
2007-11-03 20:15:27

Who the fuck is this freak ass Colbert?

P Coderch

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 03:50:33

So kind, thanks Luka.

 
Comment by Luka
2006-11-06 02:45:22

Ah don’t worry about it smrtpants. I really don’t take myself that seriously on here.

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 02:10:51

I do apologize for any [mis]percieved disrespect toward Luka as it was only after I went back over some other entries that I realized to what/whom you were referring - that was never my intention and I hope that Luka will forgive me for not being as ‘on the ball’ as I could have been before blasting off that crap…I really was just trying to decipher where you might be coming from and besides which you’re the one who brought in the whole bovine motif in the first place!

When you made reference to my ass I just assumed that you were finding yet another way to describe me in an unbecoming manner despite that the word you used has generally positive connotations…

Thanks for the music links, I’m gaining some valuable insight to say the least…

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-06 01:56:24

I see. Fallen back to mud slinging, for lack of a better, yet feasibly attainable, option. I can understand your choleric attitude towards me, but that insult directed at Luka seems awful cheap.

- Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene 7

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-06 01:47:55

Nu cred. Mai citeşte, educă-te.

- Paul Oakenfold - Ready Steady Go (Album Version)

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 01:42:59

sonyad said:

Quite. Except that it’s actually “Chitara Romană“.

You’re still missing an ‘R’ my precious prick! [In ChitarRa]

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 01:33:22

“…whilst adhering to my sanity.”

And by ’sanity’ do you mean that flaccid flesh flank you keep beating like a dead dog, after of course trying to teach it some new tricks…to no avail.

I’m glad that you still have your music to keep you company.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-06 01:21:21

Quite. Except that it’s actually “Chitara Romană“. The filename was incidentally devoid of diacritical chars. Thank you for pointing that out. You’ll be happy to know it’s been corrected.

And the version I listen to is instrumental so thankfully bereft of those lyrics. I don’t think I could stand that mushy soup whilst adhering to my sanity. It’s beyond the realm of man’s powers, and thus, impossible.

- 4 Strings - Turn it around

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 00:51:16

Oh yeah, btw, I believe it’s ‘Chitarra Romana’…and how romantic your taste in music is…

“Under a cloak of stars, Rome seems beautiful to me.

My solitary heart, disillusioned by love, wants to sing in the shadows.

A silent fountain, and a balcony above, oh, Roman guitar, accompany me!

Sing, sing, my guitar, let my heart weep.

With no home and no love, you are all I have left.

If my voice is a little veiled, soften your music, my
lovely Fornaria is no longer on the balcony!

The shores sleep while the river flows.

I follow it because it pulls me along with it, and carries
my heart.

I see a far off shadow, and a star up there, oh, Roman guitar,
accompany me!”

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-06 00:43:52

sonyad said:

Smrtpanties. Just can’t keep away, can you? Is that your callipygous ass there?

Indeed it is - I’m surprised that you even bothered to ‘go there’…with that magnificent diction of yours.

sonyad said:I think it’s time to put Luka out to pasture…

Sonyad, please to explain that allusion; are you saying that I’m a wide-load of a cow that…

sonyad said:This is a giant cock
One track mind, eh?.

One at a time, that is..

sonyad said:Awful music, btw. Don’t bother checking your referers.

- Chitara Romana

And what pray tell are more of your musical preferences. I make no excuses whatsoever for the eclectic array of my musical tastes and you must know by now how I love to beg…to differ…when anyone presumes to judge something so subjective; how very ridiculously silly of you.

But your diction makes up for it all…

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-05 10:27:16

Smrtpanties. Just can’t keep away, can you? Is that your callipygous ass there?
I think it’s time to put Luka out to pasture…

This is a giant cock.

One track mind, eh?

Awful music, btw. Don’t bother checking your referers.

- Chitara Romana

 
Comment by smrtpants
2006-11-05 06:37:05

Colbert will do, but throw in Jon Stewart & Dennis Miller and now you’re talkin’! Yummm…

 
Comment by diamatik
2006-10-26 23:33:38

Diesel said:

If anyone ever refers to me as the father of an animal, I’m going to bury them both in my backyard.

L-O-fucking-L

 
Comment by Diesel
2006-10-26 10:06:08

If anyone ever refers to me as the father of an animal, I’m going to bury them both in my backyard.

 
Comment by Billy
2006-10-26 09:52:15

I could tolerate some face from commie Jane but Steinem? No, she could only kiss my ass. Colbert is kool.

 
Comment by mean_jake
2006-10-25 14:29:20

well let the pussy whipped fag haters in government try and ban it no matter what they say about hatred in my country i will always hate women and gilbert godfrey and im more than willing to go to jail for what i beleive in besides in jail no one can hear her bitch.

wolfe said:

Colbert ran some kind of show nominally on feminism. In a discussion of their new “feminist radio” startup, he managed (within seconds) to get Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda to show him how to make apple pie, and to stop talking about feminist radio. He got Steinem chopping apples, and Fonda kneading dough.

Now that’s manly.

-wolfe

indeed so true but he made them both kiss him as well, and thats some studly conqistador manpoints there, he got face from feminisms two biggest bitchs.
I heart Colbert.

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-10-25 10:35:07

For some reason, the wordpress software is inserting a garbage “×” character as the 5th last character that is ‘×’ rather than ‘x’ (note the subtle difference). If you replace that character with ‘x’, it’ll work. Perhaps you can fix the link, Dick; even typing it in it still gets replaced for me by Wordpress.

-wolfe

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-10-25 10:30:22

Hmmm… not very reliable. This url does work for me if I cut and paste it, but not if I click it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRs9R0×4e5Y

-wolfe

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-10-25 10:26:36

Ask and ye shall receive. Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto thee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRs9R0×4e5Y
-wolfe

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-10-25 08:31:43

That’s the clip that spawned this article. I wish I still had the link that person sent me.

-Dick

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-10-25 08:25:29

Colbert ran some kind of show nominally on feminism. In a discussion of their new “feminist radio” startup, he managed (within seconds) to get Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda to show him how to make apple pie, and to stop talking about feminist radio. He got Steinem chopping apples, and Fonda kneading dough.

Now that’s manly.

-wolfe

 
Comment by Cain
2006-10-24 20:42:30

“Ayrton Senna takes the manliness cake in my book.”

Couldnt agree more.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-10-24 12:45:38

Ayrton Senna takes the manliness cake in my book.

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-10-24 12:38:22

A comedian?!

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-10-24 12:36:43

I must dissent!

Who the hell is Stephen Colbert?

 
Comment by son of the suns
2006-10-24 12:22:00

Aaron said:

this legendary site continues. I just hope authorities dont make a stupid exuse to ban it.

We still don’t have hate speech laws in the US, and won’t as long as the profits that can be taxed from rich media companies keep rolling in.

 
Comment by Aaron
2006-10-24 12:16:05

this legendary site continues. I just hope authorities dont make a stupid exuse to ban it.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-10-24 10:36:35

Good one, mean_jake.

-Dick

 
Comment by mean_jake
2006-10-24 10:35:47

I say we make Colbert god-king and savior of our planet.
If he was at the helm, we would be the center of the universe again in no time flat.
and he could finally prove that yes, the earth is indeed flat, just like most of the ideas women seem to have.

 
Comment by ashesofthewake
2006-10-24 09:35:39

Haha. Hell yeah. Colbert is indeed a Manly man man.

 
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