Will a Prostitute Brush Your Teeth?
Women hog everything. They’re bed hogs, they’re attention hogs, and they’re vagina hogs. Try to get a little vagina for yourself and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Unless you’re waving a white flag that looks like a fifty dollar bill, you’ll get your hand bitten off like you’re reaching for the Baco’s at a Jenny Craig convention.
Men have dicks and we share them. Women act like their vaginas are cell phone minutes. You use ‘em, you lose ‘em. If only divorce was that easy.
If someone told you that the only way to get a finger stuck in your ear was if you called the person doing it your “Major Tom”, you’d tell them to go fuck themselves. A woman wouldn’t. She’d buy a t-shirt that said it in glitter.
Replace finger, ear, and Major Tom, with dick, vagina, and “soul mate”, and you’ve got a wedding on your hands. Put your Man Points in a box and mail them to Never.
Women are also sink hogs and they brush their teeth like rude, thoughtless pigs.
Alec Baldwin put it best, women are “rude, thoughtless pigs” on the road, they’re “rude, thoughtless pigs” at work, and they’re “rude, thoughtless pigs” in the bathroom.
No one tells you before you live with a woman for the first time, but they are as messy and dirty as a Chinese bullfight. If a woman can make it through a week without using everything in the kitchen and bathroom at least twice, then it must be her honeymoon because she hasn’t unwrapped all the matching bullshit yet.
Men are as clean as gods when it comes to our manors — which we lord over in a manly way. We’re clean because we don’t make messes in the first place; with an infinite number of chemicals and lotions that won’t turn us into jail bait. I haven’t cleaned my bathroom in 9 months and you could eat off the floor. That’s because I pay women to clean it for me.
Cleaning is something poor people have to do. And one of the reasons women make terrible parents is because they teach their children how to be poor. If women wanted a better life for their kids, they wouldn’t nag their children to clean their rooms, they would nag their children to learn a new skill. They would nag their children to read an accounting book or a free TRW How The Fuck Does My Credit Work? pamphlet. You can’t unlearn how to handle your money. Just like you can’t make more than minimum wage cleaning my bathroom.
Unless you’re Mr Clean.
Mrs. Butterworths was a fat pig who probably hung her face over the sink while her husband was trying to brush his teeth as well. If your woman is hogging your sink, do what I do, spit on the back of her head. She’ll learn. Women hate when you get shit in their hair.
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October 29th, 2007 at 4:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 9ed6c7e90e517
“No one tells you before you live with a woman for the first time, but they are as messy and dirty as a Chinese bullfight.”
That brings up a good question.
Why do women get yeast infections?
–So they know what it’s like to live with an irritating cunt.
October 29th, 2007 at 8:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ec58b59ce620
rofl!
Good article, most mansome joke evar!
October 29th, 2007 at 9:51 am - IP Man-Hash: d7677dd907e52
I particularly like this part. The more reasons a guy can have to to not get married the better. The more reasons a guy can have to share with his friend to help them not make the mistake of getting married, the better.
No man should ever mail his Man Points to Never.
October 29th, 2007 at 6:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc1d350da2aab
Dick, you’re a fucking genius. I read all the articles and apply them to my daily man-life. I’m just too busy making money and defending our country to comment all the time. But just remember, the boys in blue love this shit.
October 29th, 2007 at 8:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
Fuck yea, Elitist.
-Dick
October 30th, 2007 at 10:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 497a2bd14e918
Ah, basking in the light of shining truth!
The darkness of a million feminists can’t prevent the truth from shining through.
October 30th, 2007 at 10:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 27bb4a532c17e
This is not only the funniest thing I’ve read all week, it’s also the most insightful. Granted, the week is young, but I expect I’ll be saying that on Friday as well.
I strongly agree with
There is enormous truth to this. The feminist poverty/divorce industries are a recipe for, well, poverty. Western societies have generally built up staggering institutionalized infrastructure designed to encourage women (and their children) to be poor.
Regards,
-wolfe
October 30th, 2007 at 6:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 26ad0b869b1b7
How do you do it Dick? Oh right. The penis. But seriously there’s nothing else like this out there. I looked to see if there was a laughable female version. Nope. Just a load of shit about sugar and spice…
October 31st, 2007 at 12:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 1f0b44ea27be1
What confuses me about “sugar and spice, etc.” is that I’ve yet to come across a female who contains anything resembling spice. I could understand “sugar and whale blubber”, or perhaps “sugar and decaying bovine fecal matter”, but that would suggest that if you refined women enough, you’d get some work out of them.
November 6th, 2007 at 8:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: e53aec46ff9a5
Wow I must say you are a very good writer. Rather you agree with you or not your def. funny and entertaining.
November 8th, 2007 at 12:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4ae1fe029c873
Try to get a little vagina for yourself and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
Well maybe if you weren’t such a tool, perhaps more women would be willing to share their vaginas with you? Tough break, man. Must be lonely in the Dickcave every night, considering you only have your hand to keep you warm.
November 8th, 2007 at 12:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0264d76590fb0
Dick gets laid like fine italian carpeting at a fags house, regularly.
Now go back to being an incubator and leave the men talk to men gabbi.
November 8th, 2007 at 1:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4ae1fe029c873
Pix or it doesn’t exist.
November 9th, 2007 at 5:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: dd54a06b85169
Gabbi, SHUT THE FUCK UP and get me a beer!!!
Women ARE filthy fucking beasts!!! At work the mens bathroom used to be WAY cleaner, and it NEVER smelled like someone set off an atomic shit bomb!! Women’s insides are eating them from the inside out!! They’ve started using the mens bathroom and ruining it like they did their own! And it pisses me off!! It makes me want to punch a sleeping baby in the face!!!! If I catch the filthy whore that does it I’m gonna punch HER in the face!!!
Wolfe, you are a smart man!!!
November 13th, 2007 at 4:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 19d27c0539de6
You are a jack ass.
November 14th, 2007 at 10:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8da4fe4b1a723
Are all you guys gay or what? Maybe you dont like women because they all have pussys maybe you prefer dick. U like dicks dontchya?
P.S - Your wrong not all women dont share themselves
P.P.S - seen u on Doctor Phil ur sexci
November 15th, 2007 at 7:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8554db0d23d34
Wow! I saw this geek on the Dr Phil show and understood why he is so bitter. Mommy didn’t let him cling on her ta ta long enough and women obviously have rejected the unattractive thing all his life. How sad! At least there’s a website for a bunch of rejected idiots to share their bitterness. Good luck jackasses! Hope you get laid some day.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e9f52b62c482
Wow, Joanie. Another woman in self-denial. Good luck - Remember, the WORDs are out.
November 16th, 2007 at 6:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0de03a186b132
Hey Dick, will you be voteing for Hillary? lol
November 17th, 2007 at 3:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: f5f729eec9130
Old pitiful feminist shaming tactic #1: small dick
Old pitiful feminist shaming tactic #2: you are gay
Damn, can’t these stupid cunts think of anything at all to say.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: f104ec3c6ad47
i somewhat agree with you( it totally sucks!!!). but you are just generalizing women. all women arent like that. just the ones like your mother
November 28th, 2007 at 8:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 65db6c3579626
You have a point about the teaching kids something worthwhile thing, new skills, pick up an accounting book etc etc….. Also important to teach your children the importance of respecting others no matter what they earn and not judging people by their pay check but by their character.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 463ef770b32fd
Dick,
You’re only relevant point was the one about parents (wait, mothers) having to emphasize financial independence in their children at a young age. More should be done in this sector as both my parents failed at this. I learned by opposite example and have done far better than both my parents (thank God!). The only piece of advice on the matter I received as a child was to never combine my account with my spouse, and to always be financially independent. And that, my mother taught me.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7b2d081a727d6
Will a prostitute brush your teeth? No.
P Coderch
December 18th, 2007 at 2:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 23e204e39ba02
The rude, thoughtless pig in my bathroom has a penis. I swear to God he was raised by wildebeests. When I enter the bathroom after he’s had his way with it, I would swear that I’ve visited Shell station toilets in Blythe that were less vomit-inspiring. Still, I keep him around because he has a penis and he knows how to use it. Also, he fixes things, makes me laugh, and makes the world’s best hot wings in the entire world.
January 18th, 2008 at 9:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
Unfortunately, he’s right. Women do hoard the pussy and really only put out if you buy her pussy something. Be it a fancy dinner, something materiel or doing what she wants when she wants. This is the story of marriage these days and the divorce rates are getting worse.
Incidentally, this is why I have chosen never to get married. It seems the more you make a women vie for your attention the less you pay and the more they are attracted to you. It’s sad but none of my buddies both in and out of the military have any desire to get married or stick to any one woman.
Translation: The more you show a woman a complete lack of attention the more the ‘attention whore’ will come out and beg for a fuck. Additionally, the hotter they are the more they beg for the attention. I’m certainly not gay and I certainly don’t have a problem getting laid. Every woman I spend time with knows two of two things:
1. I won’t put up with any of her shit. It’s my house, my rules and if she doesn’t like it she can leave.
2. I’m the Alpha male and I run the show. Any feminist talk will get her banned from my domain permanently.
Men the world over are starting to realize that pussy is not that valuable and that there is no reason to pay a dime for it unless you are severely ugly or you just enjoy prostitutes. I’m not cheap I just don’t need to pay for something that falls into your lap like ripe fruit if you don’t pay attention to it in the first place.
It’s not a Goddess, it’s a sex organ.
January 18th, 2008 at 10:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 55548152be297
There’s also chick flicks, NOW conventions, feminist sites, group therapy, Starbucks, Winchell’s donuts, male strip clubs and dykes for the rejected women and their bitterness. I hope you never get laid; your spawn would likely require abortion.
- Sgt. Reyes
P.S. Oh and it’s a generalization that none of the Men on this site get laid. As a Marine that has been overseas and abroad, I’ve been laid more in in a six month deployment than you have in a lifetime. As for the other Men on this site I’m sure the attitude of not putting up with a woman’s shit scores them more sex than a toilet.
You women are attention whores and when you don’t get it (the attention), you’ll do virtually anything to put out more just to achieve the desired results. Hence, all the porn and ‘girls gone wild’ series. Ya’ll just can’t get enough. Whores.
February 10th, 2008 at 4:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 0b99d25910398
[...] Men are Better than Women.com [...]
March 22nd, 2008 at 1:11 am - IP Man-Hash: f57e90100ef48
There is a disgussting Earth rodent who comes by every now and then to clean my bathroom. Last time I told her to go back home and take a shower. Fucking hell ! She smelled as if she had been temered in raw shit the night before.
As for the girls offended, keep fucking yourselves until prince charming comes on his white horse and cums on your faces.
Men, keep not giving a shit.
-Sebastian
April 9th, 2008 at 7:37 am - IP Man-Hash: f7283f22cfaf9
Men have dicks and we share them. Women act like their vaginas are cell phone minutes. You use ‘em, you lose ‘em. If only divorce was that easy.
Bahahaha, that was so epic. This site is amazing; good on ya, Dick!
April 14th, 2008 at 10:32 am - IP Man-Hash: da66909b99c01
You’ll understand this if you’re a real man.
Dick should write something on being a real man, some readers need it.
Keep it coming Masterson.