Television, Syphilis, and Cats!
Like every man in the world, I fucking hate cats.
Women can’t get enough of them though. Apparently women also can’t get enough of having their brains eaten parasites.
Guess what that explains!
A lot.
Toxoplasma gondii is a damn brain parasite found in cats’ intestines. I didn’t read very much about it because this site isn’t about a bunch of boring medical bullshit — and because as far as I’m concerned having a house that reeks of cat piss and shit is worse than any low grade brain parasites anyway. Both are permanent conditions and a miserable way to live your life. If you want the medical stuff, take a day off work and go to the doctor. You might meet a hot nurse. I can’t say for sure because I don’t know where you live. I just give the options.
I read enough about Toxoplasma to see the words “cats” and “severe brain damage”.
Holy Plausible Theory, Batman! Could this explain why women are so hopelessly not as good as men at anything? Widespread acute brain damage? If you have a mighty man-mind like I do — and you do because you’re a man, you bet it can.
Women love cats. As it turns out it’s probably much in the same way that women love high heels and abusive boyfriends. They just can’t get enough of anything that will leave them black and blue. Why wouldn’t that extend to their brains as well? I looked up some brain damage symptoms to prove my suspicions.
“Symptoms include: eating too much or too little…”
If I could summarize women in one sentence, that would be it. It’s like inney/outey belly button classifications for the entirety of womankind. Either she’s a too-muchy or a too-littley — most likely the former.
“Agitation, lethargy, or irritability. Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness or inappropriate guilt.”
Inappropriate guilt! Can you say anal? In all seriousness, these symptoms proved fuck all to me. Apparently all women have brain damage, and I could not find a separate list of brain damage symptoms for women only. Things like she can’t see purple. I don’t know.
Then I thought it might just be a rare and unique occurrence for a cat to transfer this horrible parasite to a woman host. I used the search function on my internet browsing program to find the word “occur” in the boring document I wasn’t about to read and here’s what I found:
“…by cleaning a cat’s litter box, or touching anything that has come into contact with cat feces.”
Well that’s pretty much every single fucking thing in a cat woman’s house. Including her pillow. If you go into a cat woman’s house, which you shouldn’t, but if you do, just throw your jacket in the mud outside because there’s no chance in hell you’re not bringing it out of that house as toilet paper.
I also searched the document for “symptoms”.
“Possible symptoms include: muscle aches and pains that last for a month or more…”
Again, that’s every woman ever — mysterious pains that prevent her from doing goddamn everything.
Fuck it. All men know when the deck is stacked against them. And that’s when it’s time to quit and walk away. In the case of proving whether or not some women have brain damage, it’s a lost cause. How the hell do you tell if a useless pile of shit is broken? It’s a useless pile of shit! What the hell’s it supposed to do? I guess this brain rot parasite just makes some women even more not as good as men than they already were.
We have learned one thing though. Children know a lot about a lot of things. They have an innocent wisdom that is revered in spiritual texts throughout humanity — boys do anyway. Girls are known only for saying stupid and selfish things that seem poignant in context and only when interpreted by a man. In this case I think we can learn something from the children. Women really do have fucking cooties — millions of little wriggly, brain-eating cooties.
What are three things that rot your brain?
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February 22nd, 2006 at 11:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
You get the honour of being the most obnoxious asshole I have ever come across.
I think I’ll get some shirts made up.
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8c78dc5304b3b
Another day in the life of an obnoxious bitch no one cares about.
Brought to you by Female.
-Dick
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
You’re the one going on about contagion of parasitic germs from cats, Dick. Guess your day was action packed.
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8c78dc5304b3b
Yeah. But at least people care about what Dick has to say. Dick has more valid and entertaining thoughts about parastic germs about cats then you will in the entire span of your life. You know what makes it worse. Is when the fucking cat throws up and shits all over the place……who cleans it up? The man. Women and cats have something in common. They’re both useless, and men always have to clean up the messes make.
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
LOL
Your comment contributed nothing whatsover to an evolution in individual or social consciousness. It was purely opinion combined with a whinge. Yawnfest city.
February 23rd, 2006 at 1:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 527da1e4b605d
Female do you realize how stupid you look coming onto to a website like this trying to talk with a person busting on your gender? You’re a fucking troll. Go to weight watchers lose a 100lbs and find some Dr Phil whipped sucker to date you. Man, I can’t believe a woman actually hangs out on this website. Shit cracks me up.
You’re over here all busting on Dick’s writings like they suck. Please who the fuck are you? Do you have a website with rank 87,000 on Alexa? Ya right.
I guess Dick was ABSOLUTELY correct when he said this, “As it turns out it’s probably much in the same way that women love high heels and abusive boyfriends. They just can’t get enough of anything that will leave them black and blue”.
Dick, keep up the good work! You have an awesome website that brings me great joy. Finally someone has grown the balls to start acting like a fucking man and speaking what’s REALLY on his mind.
I salute you Dick!
February 23rd, 2006 at 1:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 38a2f30530df7
Female must be constantly monitoring this site so it can continue to spew it’s venom at every opportunity.
Helpwanted puts it very nicely with…
” You’re a fucking troll. Go to weight watchers lose a 100lbs and find some Dr Phil whipped sucker to date you. Man, I can’t believe a woman actually hangs out on this website. Shit cracks me up.”
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:31 am - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
Not as stupid as you and co. who I imagine would do near anything to please him.
That’s cause they do, bruder.
Who the fuck are you busting on my arse? Do I tell you how you could spend your days off from oogling porn sites in between waiting for your pizza delivery? I can if you ask nicely.
LOLZ!!1!! 87,000!!! Jeezus, dat’s the bigtime right there, dat is.
See this Dick, you’ve influenced this here cretin to believe women like abuse and he should start acting like a REAL man. Real man, my arse.
Real men have always said what’s on their mind, and this here isn’t it fool.
I salute you Dick!
Another seaman I see, bloody figures. You’re all probably on a boat off Venezuela.
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:32 am - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
Christian, you’re too pathetic. I don’t even have the words for it.
February 23rd, 2006 at 5:11 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I’d say it’s getting there. Better yet, his monthly average is closer to 29k and change. 87k certainly isn’t bad either (that’s his dated 3 month rolling average).
As for “the big time”, the National Organization for Women’s (the premiere US feminist organization) website is sitting at 85k, and most other “popular” feminist sites are in the 100k-450k range. (I hope I didn’t make anyone faint with laughter by combining the words “feminist” and “popular”).
(The common entry point for Australian government services ranks at a mere 111k.)
For the niche he’s addressing, that’s very impressive.
-wolfe
February 23rd, 2006 at 6:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
And most of your comments fail to do the same. And the feminist rhetoric and ideals you defend so vehemently have failed to promote social well-being. Evidence has been presented here again and again correlating the rise in feminism to the rise in divorce and other like things. The statistical curves practically overlap. So what you were really try to say was
“Your comment contributed nothing whatsover to my individual evolution by destroying societal well-being.”
So again you have proven that for you, and most women, it’s fuck the greater good, what’s in it for me?
Bravo, selfish hypocrite.
February 23rd, 2006 at 9:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 8c78dc5304b3b
I had no idea. Thanks for the info, wolfe!
-Dick
February 23rd, 2006 at 4:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
What?! Are you a mute? I have repeatedly said I am NOT a feminist and I don’t know what feminist ideas you are talking about!
I simply don’t think men are better than women. I think that’s enough reason to be here.
February 23rd, 2006 at 4:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: 527da1e4b605d
Well female I will grace you with another post so that I might help you understand something here. I am not pathetic like you. I workout 5 days a week and train for MMA 3 days a week. The only work out your fat ass probably does is fat finger mistype backspace presses. Most important here is that I am not arguing with women on a feminist site. You see that would just be well ummm STUPID. Personally I think you’re just an attention whore who can’t get attention any where else. Also I think it’s funny how you comment on all of Dick’s writings and just prove him right. It’s kind of ironic how the point you’re arguing against is just being proved more by each and every word you type.
If you knew anything about the inet you would realize that there are MILLIONS of WebPages.
Dick hasn’t influenced me here; he has merely reinforced my already present theory on women trolls like you. You’re not worth anymore of my time. Be gone troll!
February 23rd, 2006 at 8:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
I think Female must have the occasional slow day herself.
Of course, toxoplasmosis is real. The killer pandas and suicide dolphins only exist in Female’s head.
-Big Al
February 24th, 2006 at 6:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
What?! Are you an idiot? Mutes can’t speak. Deaf is the word you are looking for. And I don’t care how many times you say you are not feminist. If you look at the things you say, they follow feminist doctrine to a T. Ranting and raving about nothing and changing the subject to another nothing and insinuating ridiculous wrong, that’s the feminist mantra of blame and misdirection.
February 24th, 2006 at 9:41 am - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
Actually, considering that we’re dealing with a written medium, I believe she’d actually be wondering if he were blind rather than deaf. :)
Indeed. “I’m not a feminist, I just think that if a woman is unhappy, there’s a man to blame.”
Dakota Smith
February 24th, 2006 at 11:44 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
That’s a brilliant quote, Dakota.
-Dick
February 24th, 2006 at 3:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: dbd61aebbf115
Well….this reminds of of an old saying. If it looks like a feminists, sounds like a feminist and acts like a feminst…..there a very good chance, that it is a feminist.
February 25th, 2006 at 9:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
I contemplated this point before I posted, but I concluded it would only confuse her. ;)
February 26th, 2006 at 1:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 8e69957d9934e
Do you take it in the ass homo?
February 26th, 2006 at 1:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Now, I’m a conservative Christian. Sorry to uncloak to that degree. What I am, I am. Misty’s posts made me uncloak.
I’ve a great deal of sympathy for gays; I don’t think they are “evil”, but, yeah, I do think they are abnormal. Sorry, that’s my belief. I don’t insist they be like me; I don’t insist they get “treatment” or “re-education”, but yeah, I think it’s a bit abnormal. Their life; their choice. I do think gays are bereft of the love and balance that a woman and a man can have. So be it; that’s my belief.
I’m also a staunch advocate of free speech. I believe that bad ideas will be ultimately driven out by good ones.
But this crap where “Misty” repeatedly says:
(click her IP-Man-Hash for all her delightful quotes)
Yeah. I just don’t think that’s too cool of her. I could quote the Law of Women (1, 3…) but who cares.
Gays are people too; in my view, blessed by God. For you to demean them repeatedly in this fashion suggests you have a problem, Misty. I don’t know what it is; I’m not going to judge you, not that you’ve failed to judge others.
I hope you won’t repeatedly post to this website; if you do, you’d be high on the list of people I’d consider advocating the ban of.
Best,
-wolfe
February 26th, 2006 at 1:33 am - IP Man-Hash: a9be2716ae33b
No, the word I intended was mute. Mute because he is blind to my posts and deaf to understanding me.
February 26th, 2006 at 1:42 am - IP Man-Hash: a9be2716ae33b
Excuse me? I’m a member, so you’d best watch your manners lest I unleash myself in your direction.
February 26th, 2006 at 2:51 am - IP Man-Hash: ec3d639f39782
Fuck, now I have seen it all. Female a member……..bwahahahahaahahha……..a member of what ?
February 26th, 2006 at 2:58 am - IP Man-Hash: ec3d639f39782
Oh. thank you for some small mercy.
February 26th, 2006 at 7:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 5630214f5d8bf
Fem, “mute” means that one cannot speak. It has nothing to do with the ability to see nor the ability to hear.
It is true that historically people who were deaf were also mute: speaking is a skill that is difficult for a deaf person to master, since they’re unable to hear both the sounds they’re trying to make and their own sounds. But the two aren’t linked by any formal definition.
Dakota Smith
February 26th, 2006 at 8:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
Dakota,
I believe we have another instance of Law 3.
Looks like another person who should use the dictionary for more than a drink coaster.
February 26th, 2006 at 7:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 527da1e4b605d
This beast of a woman sooo wants to be a man!
Site Rules:
Ladies as always, this site is totally off limits.
February 27th, 2006 at 3:17 am - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
Parasites from cat feces are causing deadly brain damage in California sea otters.
Female’s tag line in the forums: “sea otters can be cabbage????”
Coincidence?
I think not.
-Big Al
September 24th, 2006 at 6:15 am - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
What?! Are you a mute? I have repeatedly said I am NOT a feminist and I don’t know what feminist ideas you are talking about!
I simply don’t think men are better than women. I think that’s enough reason to be here.
not a feminist either, women are not better than men and men are not better than women. that’s that.
September 24th, 2006 at 6:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 8984a7f2a18a3
I agree with your sentiments. Just one little correction though:
September 24th, 2006 at 6:29 am - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
how witty of you.
September 24th, 2006 at 7:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 05bdcb82f843a
Cute, Sam/Pete/Ted/Elitist Prick, but clearly not the same Sandra. As usual, the IP Man-Hash reveals the poser every time. :)
September 24th, 2006 at 7:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I’m sure you believe that to be true. It is however, statistically improbable that you’ve not picked up on many of the first, second, and even third wave tenets of feminism. Society is permeated with them. Virtually every man here has been at one point or another infected with them.
I suspect as you continue through life, you will discover this to tbe true. you will either choose to embrace the darkness, or repudiate it. This will define what type of human being you are.
Regards,
-wolfe
September 27th, 2006 at 12:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 21afb798fc0fa
I have a question for you Wolfe, why not embrace the darkness? It is as much a part of life as the “light”?
-Strength and Honor-
September 27th, 2006 at 5:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 8daa1bf85f4f8
That is how I live. This is the whole lesson of Star Wars people. The light is hypocritical, weak, and never survives long without being killed by the dark. The dark is seductive, quick, and all powerful in battle.
We know what embracing one side only leads to. The Jedi’s dogmatic devotion to the Light led to their blindness, arrogance, and destruction of their order and the Republic. The Sith’s devotion to the Dark led them to commit heinous acts across the galaxy, enslaved by their rage and lust for revenge.
Only decades later do the remaining Jedi finally “get it” when Luke manages to do what his father could not. Have emotional attatchments without letting them get in the way of his purpose. Learn to accept the darkness within as an equal part of the force, and learn to live in balance.
September 27th, 2006 at 6:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Plus, Empires are far sexier than Republics.
September 27th, 2006 at 10:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Q - What do you call a woman with 2 brain cells?
A - Pregnant
September 27th, 2006 at 11:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 0363c503d25ea
nice.
October 24th, 2006 at 6:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_40237.html
Women with toxoplasmosis more likely to have sons.
October 25th, 2006 at 9:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
How egregiously distasteful of you Female. Par the course, of course.
February 21st, 2007 at 10:45 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
That is how I live. This is the whole lesson of Star Wars people. The light is hypocritical, weak, and never survives long without being killed by the dark. The dark is seductive, quick, and all powerful in battle.
We know what embracing one side only leads to. The Jedi’s dogmatic devotion to the Light led to their blindness, arrogance, and destruction of their order and the Republic. The Sith’s devotion to the Dark led them to commit heinous acts across the galaxy, enslaved by their rage and lust for revenge.
Only decades later do the remaining Jedi finally “get it” when Luke manages to do what his father could not. Have emotional attatchments without letting them get in the way of his purpose. Learn to accept the darkness within as an equal part of the force, and learn to live in balance.
The Taoist Ying-Yang symbol is a perfect example of this. It represents the unity of apparent opposites.
Although I still find it ironic that The Yin represents the dark, death, winter and female side of the universe, while the Yang symboilizes the light, life, summer and male side.
February 21st, 2007 at 12:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: adc0a2c9dafc9
Good one
or they could be siamese twins.
February 21st, 2007 at 12:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 91d6958044e85
90% of women have intelligent DNA in them… but most of them don’t swallow.
February 21st, 2007 at 2:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1e9a4fd46c3a7
Oh come on, cats are awesome. Read my blog article, but they can do all the good things of a woman and have none of the losses.
February 21st, 2007 at 3:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: adc0a2c9dafc9
We could take this one step more step and ask…….
Q - What do you call a feminist with 2 brain cells?
A - Artificially Inseminated
May 5th, 2008 at 2:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6ab2f231cddf1
i hate cats….soo…what now? not all women like cats. the only person in my family who likes cats is my brother…everyone else is allergic. this claim is stupid.
May 6th, 2008 at 7:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: bf56457dde8c1
As the resident authority on everything Toxoplasma gondii related around these parts, everything Dick brought up in this short read is 100% correct.
As a man, you expect nothing less coming from another man’s mouth, or fingers in this case.
Female, now, is talking out of her ass as always.
July 1st, 2008 at 5:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8ed771f3ec739
Most women deserve to be infected with syphilis.