The 300 And Dead As a Man Nail
I was watching The 300 again last night and I realized something.
Boy was I right when I said The 300 is the most important movie any man will ever see in his life. In fact, I didn’t even know how right I was.
That happens to me all the time.
Among other things, The 300 shows us that men are not invincible. That’s a hard lesson for any man to learn, so it’s good to see it forty-feet high and two hours long. I myself haven’t even learned that lesson. My beliefs are as invincible as I am.
And why not? Men are used to behaving and affecting the world around us as though we are gods. It’s only natural to assume the very same. We grow crops and bake bread. We invented air conditioning and television. Men built the entire world that doesn’t mansist of living under a corrugated aluminum sheet in a hole in the ground in the middle of the fucking desert. If that doesn’t make us gods, then what does? A beard?
Women know men are gods and women can barely add. Who do you think they’re calling out to in the bedroom? Some god who’s cool with premarital sex and birth control? I don’t think so. It’s you, baby. She’s talking to you.
In The 300, one of the man gods who is obviously going to die from the beginning, dies in a spectacular way. His head is chopped off in super slow motion and just like all of you men when I saw it, I sent a prayer to myself that I would go in exactly the same way: my head bouncing around all over the place and getting shit everywhere.
Manly. Someone clean up all this shit because I’m dead and I don’t give a fuck.
I don’t want to give the movie away for anyone who hasn’t seen it — unless they’re a woman in which case: fuck you. Put your cell phone on vibrate and when you’re going to go “save seats” instead of “help carry all this shit”, learn how to watch the door and lift your arm or something so I don’t wander around like a jackass for ten minutes with a cubic yard of overpriced snacks. An Irish Setter makes a better movie date than a woman. Maybe all women should have dogs for the blind for that reason.
Let me just say that the father of that guy I was talking about earlier who got his head chopped off spectacularly, watches all of this shit from like ten feet away. Then he flips the fuck out; also in super slow motion.
Men are better than women at dealing with loss.
When a man is wronged in any way, he flips the fuck out. That’s another way men are like gods. When you fuck with us, you get fucked. There’s no blunt end on the Stick of Man. We’re 360 degrees of business. That is the correct way of handling things. The first clue is that’s how men do it. A good way to tell how not to do something is see how women do it. Watch a woman read a map. Wrong. Watch a woman go on a diet. Imaginary. Watch a woman tell her boyfriend she’s pregnant.
So fucking insensitive that it makes me sick.
Fuck this second trimester, third trimester shit. A fetus isn’t alive until a man says it is.
Here’s a man riddle for you then. How can a girlfriend be pregnant without her boyfriend knowing? Stay tuned for the answer.
Related Articles:
Pages: « 3 [2] 1 » Show All
Okay, it’s obvious that Female is wrong about everything she says. It’s also obvious that she’s smart enough to know that what she posts is going to hit some nerves on this site, giving her life-sustaining attention from males. Another painfully apparent fact is that she gets in arguments with random guys on every single article, perpetuating an endless cycle of female bullshit.
To every man who has ever responded to anything Female has posted, give yourself a man-pat on the back for being generous enough to entertain this rude and crass individual. It makes me kind of want to get in an argument with her because I’m so fucking courteous.
Agreed, but you said “fundamentalist extremists.” Or are you retracting that accusation?
Nope. Couldn’t care less what someone else’s faith is, provided that faith doesn’t require the initiation of force against others.
If anything I’m an extremist about people not initiating force against others, but I don’t really see that as a bad form of extremism … ;)
being an extremist doesn’t have to have anything to do with religion. You could be an extreme sportsperson for instance, or have yourself an extreme makeover. In your case, I’m sure you’re prolly an extremist atheist and I am well enough informed to know that I am not going to allow you to lead me into a discussion on religion, sorry ;
Huh. It encourages fundamentalist extremists? Weird, considering that everybody gets along with me, and I’m an atheist … ;)
Well, the only snag is that you’ve got to purchase a legal copy months after it hits the screen or see it in a cinema to be able to form an informed opinion.
Technically speaking…
Luckily, this doesn’t apply to all. I’m still using windows xp. And a fix should be out for vista shortly as well.
- System of a Down - Aerials
the only people who would bother to write a review would be those who hold extreme views. They’d have to really like it or really hate it, the majority (those in the middle) would be people who don’t care either way because they found the movie to be dull and blah and they pretty much forgot about it as soon as they had located their car in the car park.
Seeing as this site encourages fundamentalist extremists, I can’t say I’m not surprised to see a male member quoting an IMDB rating.
My point excactly. How do we even call people individuals, if they can’t come up with our own judgement?
Siskel and Ebert panned the first Star Wars when it was released. That should tell you everything you need to know about the average movie critic’s actual taste in movies.
Who the fuck care about imdb and other lame ass ratings? Lots of stupid or people of differing tastes vote. Bush got elected, twice, for God’s sake…
I’ve really got it in for them film critics.
- FatBoySlim - Weapon of Choice
Yeah, you’d better do so.
I need a movie checklist:
1. Pair of balls - check
2. Beer - check
3. Lots of meat - check
4. Blowjob….. Crap.
I guess i’ll have to wait a few days.
LOLZ enjoy!
8.2, wow, guess I’d better rush out to get myself a choc-top cone and front row seat.
Welcome to the group of minorities, the movie recieved a 8.2 rating at IMDB.
Welcome to the group of minorities:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416449/
This movie was rated 8.2.
Hm … based on Dick’s review and Female’s revulsion, I’m convinced. I better see it tonight. Perhaps the 7:30 show? At 1:56 running time, that would take me right to my nightly call to my children, so that would work …
And so’s the popcorn, ignorant nearsighted wallaby.
- Freemasons Ft Amanda Wilson - Watchin
I don’t care what it’s based on, the overacting in their facial expressions tells me I don’t need to waste $15. And who buys snacks at the movies? Answer: Overeaters.
Welcome to the fabolous group of ignorant minorities, woman.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416449/
This movie recieved 8.2/10 in user rating - and I’m definetly going to see it. Thanks for the tip.
Uh … you’re aware that the film is based on the historical Battle of Thermopylae, right Female?
No doubt dramatic liberties have been taken (English wasn’t spoken in ancient Sparta, after all), but the Battle was a real event.
How hilariously typical. I saw a poster for this movie last week, I actually thought it was called Zoo because the typo was scrawl and the people on it looked like insane rage maniacs. Upon seeing it, my first impression was that the people looked like over the top extras from Conan the Barbarian and I burst out laughing. My second thought was that it would be an apt poster for this website. Exaggerated machismo ridiculoso.
300 is so manly that even the main woman character was badass. As badass as a women could be, but that’s understood. She knows when to shut her fucking mouth AND fucks that asshole up with a completely awesome Greek sword at exactly the right time. I can’t say I wasn’t impressed.