The 300 Is Twice As Sensitive As I Am
After seeing The 300 again, I’ve decided on what I find to be manliest feature of this film.
Anything a man needs to decide can be done in a maximum of five days. Men are better at deciding than women and I’ve just demonstrated this — with gusto. Women will spend six, ten, sometimes they spend their entire fucking lives deciding on the easiest of shit. And worse yet, after they’ve decided and done it, they’ll spend their entire lives re-deciding!
Then they’ll protest in front of abortion clinics. How silly.
The manliest part of The 300 is that the movie gives women a chance to shine.
Giving women the chance they don’t deserve is part of being a man. It’s our Nature of Nurture as I like to call it — with a term I have just at this very moment coined. Giving women the gentle slap on the ass they need comes with the penis, fellows and gentlemen. And you better take it because you can’t leave it. There’s no Returns Counter at the Penis R Us. There’s also no technical support line, no manual, and no amount of injected estrogen in the world could malfunct your manliest tool of all.
Your man brain.
Just like the other manliest film of all time, Doctor Strangelove, The 300 has only one female character. Men are tempests of emotion and character, as you all know. We are deeper than 20,000 leagues and the limit of our excellent is unbound. We could be kicking your ass at one moment and then helping you clean yourself up the very next, thoroughly disgusted at the state of you, but giving you a second chance also for some reason.
We’re fucking sensitive. Men are more sensitive than a skinned cat in a lemon juice factory.
Women, however, have only one dimension. That’s why The 300 is so manly. It doesn’t waste a bunch of my fucking time on ten lady characters who are all the goddamn same and are going nowhere. In The 300, women are given the most fair and unbiased treatment they have ever been given on film. The key word there is given; a man gave it to them.
I’m talking about The Queen of Sparta here, who by even my account is nearly fuck up free.
Nearly.
The 300 shows what happens to the world physically when there’s no men around. Everything gets fucked up by an invading army of bad ass dudes. More importantly, The 300 shows what happens to women emotionally when there’s no men around.
They have no fucking idea what to do.
I can only think of four words when I imagine a woman on her own trying to make a decision:
Panic, at, the, disco.
I heard that band name on the radio earlier and it stuck in my head. It’s literally all that comes to mind. But in all seriousness, women are just as much a disaster under the weight of a dilemma as they are under the weight of a Jeep full of fat guys. The Queen of Sparta was nearly fuck up free because she did everything a man told her to do. Except when she fucked that dude. He didn’t actually tell her to do that. He just insinuated.
That’s her fuck up.
Women take their entire lives to make decisions because someone went and convinced them they can think for themselves. Right. I don’t ask my clock what time it is. I tell it what time it is. The damn thing just keeps track for next time.
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March 23rd, 2007 at 5:48 am - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
Female, had you been a young woman during Nazi Germany, there is precisely no doubt in my mind that you would have been a bleating sheep precisely the way you are today. Since Feminism didn’t exist in that place and time, you’d've no doubt substituted it for some other fashionable pseudo-philosophy.
Note, by the way, that this was precisely how the Nazis took over. They convinced enough gullible sheep that the Nazi pseudo-philosophy was real.
Given your occasional ranting about having men castrated or killed based on some moronic Feminist pseudo-theory, I have no doubt that you’d've made a fine little Nazi girl.
March 23rd, 2007 at 6:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Precisely my rationale, Dakota. My thanks.
March 23rd, 2007 at 6:31 am - IP Man-Hash: b9f779a6d51d8
B_Burl completely misunderstood the movie. I thought that would be impossible but I guess if you have shit for brains, you just might.
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 139b502a327ba
Leave it to a woman to get off on trying to bring other people down and bashing their interests. No one is attacking you, so shut the fuck up. It’s only polite.
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:14 am - IP Man-Hash: ec4099494ceba
And if we are, its her own fault for visiting the fucking site.
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
Female only comes here to remind us that most women are only a pain in the ass.
March 24th, 2007 at 8:38 am - IP Man-Hash: ec4099494ceba
She does a good job of it.
March 24th, 2007 at 5:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1207b9a8d74
I really must see this movie.
Hell, the fact that female DOESN’T just makes me want to see it even more. If she doesn’t like it, it HAS to be good.
As insane as it seems, things were pretty damn insane back then anyway. Sparta was a rough place to live. If you weren’t deemed suitable for society shortly after birth, you were left on a hillside to die.
Once boys hit a certain age, they were sent off to train to be warriors, where they would get the endless shit kicked out of them day after day.
I would expect nothing less than to use blatant neck-vein screaming and chest-thumping in a film centered around that culture.
They lived for war. The men were men, and the women were pretty much men as well.
The Persians at the time were fuck-all intimidating as well. The size of the army coming into Greece was literally larger than many of the city-states. If I remember correctly, the army outnumbered the entire population of Athens (hence the need for some Spartan badassery).
The Persian immortals were probably the most intimidating of them all. Trained to fight silently, their faces totally masked.
As overly dramatized as the movie may be, seeing a wall of silent soldiers charging at another wall of screaming, taunting Spartans is a recipie for an epic battle.
It became a legend then, and it has remained so to this day.
It was an important moment in the history of Western civilization, and I’m very interested to see just how exaggerated and crazy this mantastic film must be.
March 24th, 2007 at 5:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
Oh, sorry blackmage, but I actually do want to see this movie. I’m sure I’ll love the visual FX, slow motion fight scenes, buff manly bodies AND also get to have a great laugh.
March 24th, 2007 at 6:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 308cfaae1723a
No one cares you fucking whore.
March 24th, 2007 at 10:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
wow, such big words from a little man.
March 25th, 2007 at 2:26 am - IP Man-Hash: 442b15dae127f
FEMtrol, It really seems ignorant to hang out where you are not wanted.
You must be use to it everyone you go.
You continue proving that women are only a pain in the ass.
It is so natural!
March 25th, 2007 at 3:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
I have come to the conclusion that for some of the misogynist punks on this website, it is far easier for their tiny brains to construct a rude post towards myself than it is for them to consider and discuss the areas in which men are better than women. Or maybe there simply are not that many areas.
March 25th, 2007 at 3:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Help me Female! I see nekked women and want to fuck Tiff Lacey.
Save me, don’t let me burn!
___
Not many areas. Just everything. From driving to polymorphism.
- Timo Maas - Shifter
March 25th, 2007 at 12:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 442b15dae127f
Why should we care to discuss anything with a misandrist bitch with no brains at all who is bad company and makes lame conversation?
March 25th, 2007 at 10:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 83cac8981dcfa
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…show ONE area where men are NOT superior to women, you dumb bitch. Even in stereotypically feminine professions, like cooking, men are better than women. The World’s best chefs are all men. This is also true whe it comes to fashion stylists, etc. Why are sports segregated by gender? Because even an average male would handle an Olympic-level female athlete her ass to her. Try to uderstand this, cunt: the “talent” of your gender is nothing more than the ability to manipulate and deceive people. The female brain only excels at empathizing. That’s it and nothing more. Even the feminazi, Camille Paglia, once commented that:
“If all Humans were female, we’d still be all living in caves, making lots of eye contact and socializing.”
Too bad for you, huh?
March 26th, 2007 at 1:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 442b15dae127f
Empathizing? Only with other dumb cunts. They even empathize when women kill their babies. Todays women are sick.
Camiles Paglia is correct. Women are worthless and can’t do anything without screaming for help.
March 27th, 2007 at 4:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0e2f2db43d2f0
Are there still females here? The main page reads very clearly, “No Women Allowed”. By refusing to follow directions and being a general pain in the ass, you do nothing but further demonstrate the validity of every manpoint Dick has been kind enough to write down…not that any other substantiation was required. Now piss off already.
March 27th, 2007 at 5:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
No, now kindly shut up.
March 27th, 2007 at 5:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 35a3bf5e9bc19
Thus the truth is known.