If Only Money Could be Made Out of Chocolate
You know what kind of lame feminist bullshit I hate the most? Feel good, horn-trumpting, back-patting, we didn’t do shit but we deserve a parade, lame feminist bullshit.
Wait a minute. That’s everything that comes out of a feminist’s big fat mouth.
Dove soap has recently poisoned afternoon drive time with a campaign to sell soap to fat women. It’s just like the time Rolex decided to market to slovenly hobos who haven’t worked in eight years. Oh wait a minute, that didn’t happen because it’s fucking stupid. It’s just as stupid in fact for one simple reason. In order to be advertised to, you have to not be in the middle of averting your eyes in disgust and trying to choke down bile.
As if those husky women ads weren’t enough, Dove has now started this embarrassment.
The Campaign for Real Beauty.
Apparently women suffer from an epidemic of low self-esteem. That’s why they throw themselves at successful looking men like stunt-frogs in a Double Dare Physical Challenge. Because just like men, women think they’re worthless.
The Campaign for Real Beauty, you see, is trying to end that. Guess how. By taking free money.
If free money (donations for doing fucking nothing) could cure women’s self-esteem, then every woman on Earth would think she had a penis — or as I call them, magic self-esteem wands. The real reason women have no self-esteem is not because of lack of charity, but because they don’t ever do anything and they constantly fuck up. In a man’s world, that kind of low self-esteem is called good instincts. That’s why men don’t have low self-esteem; because we don’t fuck up like a hamster on fire running into a house made of toilet paper.
Just for fun let’s go over the reasons the Dove Ego-Inflating Charity was created — according to their website.
Over 50% of women say their body disgusts them.
Funny. I say over 50% of women and their bodies disgust me.
The body fat of models and actresses is at least 10% less than that of healthy women.
And a whiskey and soda is 100% more whiskey and soda than you need in a healthy diet. Here’s another fun fact: minimum wage is the most you need to earn to enjoy an acceptable quality of life in any civilized country. The message here is that’s precisely what women aspire to be: minimum wage.
67% of women think they “need to lose weight”.
This is the only statistic I have a problem with. The truth of it is that 100% of women need to lose weight. Start around the midsection, ladies, and when that’s all taken care of you need to lose about three pounds of clothes. Am I right guys. No seriously, I think I’ll start my own charity for this cause. It will be called the Masterson Fund to Put Fun-House Mirrors in Every Woman’s Bathroom on Earth. Our slogan will be, “Give Women a Purpose”.
In all seriousness, where can I sign up to give money to this travesty? And how can I make sure my monies won’t manifest in a slew of commercials encouraging women to sit on their fat asses and do absolutely nothing everyday?
Here’s a good alternative.
Enjoy Coke, Ladies. Not the refreshing beverage. I’m talking about Cocaine — because at this rate nothing else will make you feel worth a damn.
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I think we should start a charity for your cause. Just for fun let’s see if you can go over the reasons why we should do that. Poor, poor guy.
You know, I skipped commenting on this because it really would be like shooting fish in a barrel. But what the heck. I’ll ignore the woeful quality of her writing; that would be too easy.
I’ll accept her at her word that everyone with one brain cell “knows” that men suck and women are just as good as men. (This means, of course, that women suck, which evidently they do).
Those with two or more brain cells, on the other hand, might be capable of grasping the truth inherent in this website.
Thank you, Helen, for providing a distinction that hitherto had eluded us: the opinions of single-(brain)-celled organisms on men and women and offering yourself as an example.
Just for you, I offer the gift of: http://dictionary.reference.com
and http://www.bartleby.com/141/
You can thank me later, after you’ve read the latter and perused the former.
-wolfe
Men are better than women at spelling, punctuation and grammar.
-Big Al
Actually Helen, as I have posted before, according to a study done at John Hopkins University. Boy out score girls more often than not.
Genius Helen, spelling checker not working ?
Incapable of making a reasoned comment ?
Must be another female.
u r an idiot i am a feminist n every1 with lyk 1 brain cel nos tht men suk n women r st as gud as men. luk at exam results dumbass. women cum out higher all the time. bt frankly im nt suprised afta reedin all the crap on this site
If you really wish me to check it out, Female, provide me with a link or tell me the specific area it is in. I have no intention of wasting my time wading through the forums in search of some vague thread you feel I should see.
May I just point out, Devek, you are a manly bison in a world of whimpy lemmings. Only a man would read all of the articles to make an informed decision /opinion. Unlike the slew of lemmings that this site was overrun with yesterday. Completely masculine kudos to you!
Yes, welcome Devek and ignore the Australian Troll. It’s of the opinion that it’s opinion is sancrosanct.
But we understand it as “swill”, Jew and Muslim avoid it.
Welcome to the boards, Devek.
-wolfe
Devek, you da man!!! Female is nothing but an amusement, like squishing a mosquito once he has sucked your blood.
The Geezer
http://www.hatemalepost.blogspot.com
http://www.thespinmeister.blogspot.com
Arielle, guest has created a thread in the forums today especially for you. I recommend you wet your feet and check it out.
Nicely done, Devek. =)
Mmmm, which one are you?
May I suggest ?
yea that’s right Deverk I love it, sadly, you’re not up to task.
I’m not a fan of human frogs per se as much as people who suceed.
I only had to wait a week to post since I wanted to read all of the articles first. My “big chance” was actually my first chance, but apparently its big so I succeeded (like always).
You sure have low self-esteem, I express disapproval and you wish I was dead. People with self-esteem don’t do that :)
Way to put Female in her place, Devek. Sadly she enjoys the abuse.
-Dick
Wow. I never would have guessed that there would actually be a Harley Mankin fan just wandering by, or have you been itching to take a shot at me now for a while and felt this was your big chance? As your time is so precious, perhaps you could better spend it in other ways, such as, taking a long walk off a short jetty.
You are worthless arn’t you? I just found this site last week and have read all the articles on this site during my spare time (which there isn’t much of between working full time, being a single dad, social obligations, and keeping the fucking world spinning).
The actual quote from Dick was, “Apparently women suffer from an epidemic of low self-esteem. That’s why they throw themselves at successful looking men like stunt-frogs in a Double Dare Physical Challenge.”
Harley Mankin DID what no woman could do…or want to… make history and be wildly successful. Guess what? Women threw themselves at him..