The Etymology of Chivalry
While on the Dr. Phil program, a woman accused me of being chivalrous. Now I’m never one to argue with a woman. For example, if a woman wants to get smacked around by her boyfriend every time she runs her mouth, then who am I to say it’s wrong? This isn’t some fascist dystopia. Women have the choice to get their asses kicked if that’s what they want. They also have the choice to not ask for a raise because they’re cowards and then blame the wage gap on sexism.
In a free world, women have the choice to be retarded.
For the record, I have never hit a woman unless it was hilarious.
As a man, when I’m accused of something, I think about what that something is before running my mouth in defense. Call a woman a whore and she’ll start screaming like a fire alarm. Good luck shutting her up because a woman’s 9-Volt battery is harder to find than her G-Spot.
The G-Spot is not a myth. It drives women insane with pleasure and lust and it’s easy it’s find. It’s right where you sign the check. X marks the spot.
Since a woman accused me of being it, I chose to define “chivalry” in terms that a woman could understand before I asked myself if I was. My manclusion is that I indeed am because “chivalry” is impossible to escape in a free world — where women choose to be as retarded as inbred monkeys.
Opening Doors
When left on their own, women walk into doors a hundred times more often than men.
Off the top of my head I can think of six women who I have seen walk into doors. None of them were under any kind of influence; although one was in Paris so she might have been overcome by the scent of arrogance and expensive perfume. The French call that Le Sex Panther. Nor were any of them blind.
I have only seen one man walk into a door and not only was he so drunk that he didn’t remember it the next day, but I pushed him into the door.
There’s a reason sex toys don’t come with a purple magic marker you can use to decorate them like a bruised peach before using. That same reason is why it became customary for men to open the doors for women. Men don’t like our sex toys looking like dinged up trash.
Women can’t open anything correctly. Doors, potato chips, or their legs. “Lesbian” sex is brought to you by cheap Merlot and the letters G, H, and B.
Pulling out Chairs
They say it’s chivalrous to pull out a chair for a woman. Well it is, but only in the same way that it’s chivalrous to get your girlfriend’s email password so you can make sure she isn’t signed up to any dating websites. She probably is and you need to get on that. Grown women need more protection on the internet than children.
It isn’t polite for a woman to whisper to her friends while you’re around, so why is it polite for her to have an unknown email password? It’s the same thing. Women don’t “window shop” for something they don’t want to buy.
Paying for Things
Women have never had money, continue to have no money, and never will have any money.
The only reason women can “own” property in this day and age is because you can’t “own” property in this day and age. You just rent it. If you don’t agree with that, go a year without paying your property tax and send me an apology from the Y. Then send your landlord, the government, the backrent.
Women have no understanding of money. They’re like scavenging rats with it and they always will be. Rats can’t reach the counter top or open the fridge and prostitution is illegal. So is selling babies. How else would a rat or a woman get any money?
If you’re up for a fiscal gas, ask a woman why it’s a bad time to get married and buy a house. Better yet, ask a female Realtor. Her poor little brain might have a meltdown. A subprime meltdown.
And of course not going out of your way to blow a woman’s mind is the definition of chivalry. Not going out of your way to make a woman look foolish for things she is biologically incapable of doing: opening doors, paying for things, sitting down and not fucking anything with a pulse; is something women value.
“Game” is a myth. Persistence, alcohol, and making sure your woman isn’t running into any doors has worked since the beginning of time.
No women allowed.
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phillip duke of Edinburgh said..If a man opens a car door for a woman, it’s either a new car, or a new woman.
i’m a woman, and i think this is hilarious.
i’m tempted to buy the book, but i’d have to get a man to do that for me, because i cant ‘own’ anything.
but seriously. props. its gold.
I am shutting this site down.
dude dont shut down this site its fricken awesome!!!!!! i just bought your book too! this site is so true.
wow sorry i just looked at when u put that comment up, that was a long time ago so you obviously changed your mind, wow i feel like a woman for not noticing that at first. . . o well thats my one mistake this year
I may be mistaken, but you may have made one of the rare mistakes us men make (roughly once a year), in your paragraph talking of a woman’s G-spot, you said – “it’s hard it’s find” when, in my opinion I thought you may have attempted to say “it’s hard to* find”.
“it’s easy it’s find”
“For the record, I have never hit a woman unless it was hilarious.”
Win.
HAH, that was Win
Dating website? Hell when you go out at least 500 men are ready. But that’s not my point, hey maybe if you can actually understand a rational concept perhaps mine will help.
Perfect username. Couldn’t get any better. Right on the money. Not an admirable trait.
Speaking of rational, what was your point?
Tom’s already left. He wisely decided to bow out after being bitch-slapped left, right and center.
ugh, please just leave right now before you get embarrassed……you have no valid reasoning….
As well as you, people that say stuff like that are the ones that talk before they think( not that im calling you one of them). Women in general do it all the time, perfect example is the fat bitch that was on the Dr. Phil show trying to start shit, before thinking, with dick. Its stupid to assume something like that (and try to argue) with so little….what you said gives the implication of you assuming he would bring a “threat” into some kind of “case”. Where what dick said just pointed out something that bitch more then likely didn’t know(assumption!), or stating the obvious because its funny on occasion.
p.s…..i don’t want to argue, just trying to help you out. This is but a simple statement so i expect no response ……and if YOU do,(want to argue) i will when you have a good point or two…….well maybe just one, two seems way to hard for you.(< assumption based on very little!!!!!) see how ignorant it makes you sound when you say stuff like that? although there are exceptions to funny assumptions.
I respect all the things dick talks about because the evidence is easily seen everywhere around you, even vicariously through all the people here. seeing it all makes it hard to not believe a lot of the stuff he says with soo many validated points.
It’s our resident pussy-whipped Anglo-cock…
I bet Dick gets more pussy than a toilet seat. Shut the hell up, if that is the best attack mode one can come up with, go back to the drawing board. Calling someone a virgin, gay, or accusing them of not getting laid on a regular basis is so predictable and overused it’s almost comical, but most certainly the musings of a wind bag.
We’re men. we like to scientifically prove or disprove things. This requires an experiment, or 100. Whether or not Dick can ‘handle’ such a woman would require that we find one, and put them in the same room together.
Point being; no one has spotted a test subject yet.
Women love to call themselves strong, independent, and EQUAL; but that doesn’t make it so. Behind every ‘strong, independent, and EQUAL’ woman, you’ll find alimony, child support, welfare… Some form of mass extortion that she did not earn and sold/is selling her body to get.
So what are you gonna do about it she hasn’t actually hit you genius you have no case
“So what are you gonna do about it she hasn’t actually hit you genius you have no case’. Huh? Another child with Internet access. Obviously not a legal scholar. For the record, making threats, veiled or direct, by bodily harm over the Internet, is a Federal crime, genius.
“i’d never hit a woman unless it was hilarious”
You see that … that is why you can’t get laid. And unless you post a picture proving it, only retards and rednecks will believe you.
I would like to add, that this female thinks being strong and independent, means being a bitch. This is very common among western females.
From everything I have read and experianced, western women simply do not understand what being strong and independent is.
The first step is self-responsibility, and the ability to say; “It’s my fault my life is screwed up, and I’m going to fix it”
Never heard a female say that, not in real life, not on TV or in movies. This is something completly alien to western females. Until that changes, we will see a lot of crying, angry women like this one. Pathetic……
I truly wish people like you would stop responding, you prove their point. Geez, I can already see what response will be said to this.
You r not an equal and will never be.GO CRY TO UR MOM
That’s called a threat.
-Dick
Seeing you try to punch a man would be hilarious, really, truly funny, because I assure you even a short skinny guy would just take it and laugh out loud, I’ve seen cunts try and punch, they can’t even make a fist, they put the thumb in front, and they arch the arm, or simply try to do a hammer-like motion up-to-down. A real punch uses all your weight, and absorbs all impact (so no bones break) through the arm. Try it girly, I volunteer to take your sissy-punch, and you won’t feel any satisfaction when I shrug it off and return it in real man-style, and then you’ll do the cunt-style, cry rape abuse or whatever and hope a would be hero comes and saves you for the default unspoken promise of pussy from a damsel in distress.
*Can you show a bit of respect for another human being that just so happens to have a different opinion to yours.*
I have no explanation for that hideous mistake.
“Aw can’t ickle wickle pathetic Dick (what an appropriate name) cope with strong, independent, EQUAL women? Clearly not.
I feel punching you would be VERY funny. And satisfying.”
Resorting to pathetic (not appropriate) name calling doesn’t sound very ‘strong’, ‘independent’ or ‘equal’ to me. It just shows how weak you really are, so weak that you have to take a rather pathetic stab at ones ego.
Can you show a bit of respect for another human being that just so happens to have an opinion than yourself. This may cost me man points but I don’t give a fuck, I respect you and your opinion, which is why I’m not giving anything differing from constructive criticism, can you show me that you can take it like a respectable human being?
Geez, she just got here and she’s already offering sex. So much for the women aren’t whores excuse. and straight to the small dick jokes. Amazingly childish.