Bleached, said:

I was born. Before I knew how to suck milk, the most sensitive part of my body was circumcised without adequate anesthetic causing permanent sensation loss and flooding the area of my brain meant for pleasure with the most excruciating pain known to man.

I was then swiftly given up for adoption.

I was raised conservatively and told that Jesus would take care of me. I was taught not to indulge in sexual activities until marriage. I was raised to be faithful to those I love and that which I was told to worship.

I was raised in a submissive role and developed habits like holding doors for women. Everything I did was in the “Ladies first” mentality. Being male, my 16th birthday was not so sweet. I was told it would be the last time I could have a party with my friends. We went to a movie.

I turned 18 and had my arm twisted behind my back to submit myself to selective services. I bought a car with my own money and currently pat a higher insurance rate than my female friend - she has been in four car collisions; I have been in none.

I am now 20 years old. I cannot achieve orgasm. I’m fearful of my government. I am unattractive. I hate my life.

Well, after all that today, I’ve been thinking about your post. I don’t predend to be a psychologist, or have any real solutions, and bear in mind that with free advice, you get what you pay for.

However, it seems unfair to me that after a day’s worth of arguing about your post, not to address it directly.

I believe that the only person that can effect any real change in your life is you. I think that you are capable of a lot more than you realize, but you need to know your own strengths. To that end, I would recommend this:

Is there something in your life that you have always wanted to do, but never tried, or never thought you could do? Something that would really challenge you and push your limits, (ie martial arts, skydiving, etc.?) Pick something, and go for it. The more that you know you can do, the more you should be able to take back control of your life.

Lynn said:

Wow. Just had an instant headache imagining entertainment negotiation strategies.

Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.

Lynn said:

Ok, quickly going nowhere here. Cop stash, don’t use that tactic, there is an implicit lack of maturity there. After reading some of your other posts, I know that you’re better than that.

Arbalast has a point, and also misses yours, I think. He is talking about real, concrete solutions rather than sophisms for Bleached. You chose to address the less tangible arena of his spirit, which although it does need addressing, it would be more helpful for him to have an actual course of action.

Your gonna make a great mom, Lynn. I can see you clarifying a potential (if they don’t exist) son and daughter-fight over what TV show to watch at 8:30, much more an ethical argument. I’m wondering if your at this site in part for practice.

Arbalast has a point, and also misses yours, I think. He is talking about real, concrete solutions rather than sophisms for Bleached. You chose to address the less tangible arena of his spirit, which although it does need addressing, it would be more helpful for him to have an actual course of action.

Arbalest said:

That was the point, your speech had nothing to do with him at all. But you’re right, it’s pointless. Even if I explained it to you, you wouldn’t get it. Much too dense.

Oh oh oh, stop……please stop………..Your breaking my heart!!!! Your just mad cause I got a compliment from no manhole.

Arbalest said:

cop stash said:

Why the hell would I try to talk to this guy about his personal problems? I don’t know anything about him, and I have never been through what he has. It would not only be naive, but rude and thoughtless, for me to try to tell him my stance on his own painful experiences.

In essence that’s exactly what you were doing, telling him how he should just get over and ignore his problems instead of solving them. In fact you really wasn’t addressing him at all, just spitting out a annoying diatribe of how a real man should act. The man obviously feels betrayed and screwed over but you didn’t even notice while on your metaphorical moral high horse.

What are your suggestions, how should I adress him and/or the person who refered to all men as animals sticking thier dicks in everything? I simply don’t believe this to be true. I wasn’t telling him how to be a real man, I was talking mostly about how this site seems to insult women, while simultaniously insulting men. But, whatever you say buddy - your going to defend yourself at all costs, so it doesn’t really matter.

cop stash said:

Why the hell would I try to talk to this guy about his personal problems? I don’t know anything about him, and I have never been through what he has. It would not only be naive, but rude and thoughtless, for me to try to tell him my stance on his own painful experiences.

In essence that’s exactly what you were doing, telling him how he should just get over and ignore his problems instead of solving them. In fact you really wasn’t addressing him at all, just spitting out a annoying diatribe of how a real man should act. The man obviously feels betrayed and screwed over but you didn’t even notice while on your metaphorical moral high horse.

no manhole said:

Arbalest said:

You two are horribly naive. Instead of addressing his problems, you’re telling him how to be a real man while suger-coating it with morality. Such speeches won’t allow him to move on and won’t get anything done.

I thought her post was outstanding for several reasons. 1.) I believe it reflected the reality of the diversity of people and their attitudes; there was no lying, or hints of lying or fact distortion 2.) it offered an opinion–nothing wrong with that, everybody does that here, and its up to you to agree or disagree with it. I think the strength of this site is you get a lot of different opinions and it challenges your thinking. As an example, a poster here expressed some opinions that have really challenged my very left-of-center political views, and I’m now reconsidering some of them. 3.) it was an uplifting message. I find that messages that are realistic but uplifting are very powerful for me. Just my opinion. Needless to say, what I find to be a great post may not be necessarily true for you.

Wow, thanks.

Arbalest said:

You two are horribly naive. Instead of addressing his problems, you’re telling him how to be a real man while suger-coating it with morality. Such speeches won’t allow him to move on and won’t get anything done.

I thought her post was outstanding for several reasons. 1.) I believe it reflected the reality of the diversity of people and their attitudes; there was no lying, or hints of lying or fact distortion 2.) it offered an opinion–nothing wrong with that, everybody does that here, and its up to you to agree or disagree with it. I think the strength of this site is you get a lot of different opinions and it challenges your thinking. As an example, a poster here expressed some opinions that have really challenged my very left-of-center political views, and I’m now reconsidering some of them. 3.) it was an uplifting message. I find that messages that are realistic but uplifting are very powerful for me. Just my opinion. Needless to say, what I find to be a great post may not be necessarily true for you.

no manhole said:

@Cop Stash- you don’t sound like a woman. But then again, Ive been told on innumerable occasions on this site that I don’t sound like a man. Hail gender uncertainty with written prose. Great post, BTW.

Well, I personaly do not have many bad experiences with men, actualy I have more with women now that I think about it. My dad is my absolute main role model in life, and that is terrifying in the since that I feel like I could never fill his shoes. The men in my life are awesome, always have been, and I can’t really relate to any of the crap being said on this site.