The Manliest Joke Ever Told
Women can’t hang picture frames for shit. One time, I was watching a woman hang a picture and she completely dropped it. The whole thing shattered and got glass everywhere.
Nice work, lady.
Men are better than women.
Women have no idea how hard it is to have sex with them. If they did, they’d show a little more gratitude and respect. Gratitude means me not having to subtly ask for a bowl of cereal afterwards, and then specifically ask for a bowl of cereal after that. A grateful woman has the shit in the refrigerator ready to go for later, before the romance has even started.
But not too early because then it would get soggy. It’s best to make a new one every 30 minutes.
But not obviously. That looks desperate.
Go hang a picture right now and tell me you’re not using the same manjo to get that fucking wire on that impressively masculine nail that you are when you’re pleasuring a lovely lady. Just look at the face you’re making! I’m not going to spell it out any more than that. I’ll just say that it’s easy to stick a key in a lock when it’s noon, but in the middle of the night when your porch light is broken, it’s more difficult.
Women are lousy at sex.
One time (a different time to the one I was talking about earlier), I watched one of these “lesbian” strap-on pornos. Talk about clumsy and embarrassing! These broads had a 50 stroke handicap.
That was the manliest joke that has ever been made.
“Lesbians” + Golf + Sex = The Manliest Joke Ever Told
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yep all they do is ether fake moen or just lay there like a dead plant
What the……
Wow. That was a big waste of my time.
This site is so stupid…
fucking americans!
your living in the past! women are equal now! get over it!
Since when?
Just ignore that one. “Women are equal” is man speak for I am some bitches finger puppet and say what she wants to get laid.
• “Women are equal”
• “I’m in a 50/50 relationship with my wife”
• “We share everything”
(as long as everything is HIS – but SHE can refuse pussy LOL!)
Meanwhile you go to Japan and woman are still walking 10 paces BEHIND men on the street. Its true. And he blames Americans. The fucking Japanese have their chit figured out.
Women ask for equality, American man gave it to them .
Women realize equality sucks, they want special treatment . . . you jam your cock down their throats. That’s how it works. They fucking had it coming.
If a man gives them EQUALITY AND “special” treatment . . . .then he’s a sexist female-worshipping failure who is not in charge of himself –>> SHE IS.
When he -himself – learns that women are not even CLOSE to equal . . . because some some woman he treated EQUALLY turned his life to DOGSHIT . . . . we can point, laugh, and tell him what HE said . . . .
GET. OVER. IT.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Equal to what?
Keep socialism where it belongs.
Yes – it’s fine for whimmin and the Environmental Estrogen-types who support them to engage in this “utopian” socialist fantasy while they’re in their Whimmin’s Studies classes, and other such nonsense; but this insistence of equality, and its’ consequences, has been damning to our institutions, most notably, families.
The true test is – if whimmin are really equal, why wouldn’t Simon’s show itself, American Idol, MAKE SURE they passed on through to Hollywood in exact equal numbers to men?
It’s because whimmin aren’t even equal to themselves – much less, on average, to men (so even though subjective – based on the “stage presence” and aural intonations received by the judges), men and whimmin will pass through to Hollywood in disproportionate numbers, and whimmin will claim they’re equal to, or better than the men in years where they passed more – yet whimmin will never admit men are better OVERALL, even though it’s been and being OBJECTIVELY measured in almost every other area of human endeavor.
menaremoreobjectivethanwhimmin
2nd Manliest Joke ever:
Q. How long does it take a woman to achieve orgasm?
A. Who cares?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Good joke
hahhahah way to prove a point Karen
Well that’s only because the woman HAS SOMETHING TO LOSE. Namely her JOB if she drops something.
You women are HILARIOUS when you expect to make a point – or get credit for DOING SOMETHING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO.
. . . . LIke your JOB.
NOT DROPPING SOMETHING AS A MUSEUM EMPLOYEE — IS HER JOB. And you think she deserves a medal – or special recognition – for that. Classic Female right there.
A woman will have more respect for not dropping the DIAMOND A MAN BOUGHT HER . . . . than she has for the man who purchased it.
They are willing to crawl through SHIT to hang on to the diamond, car , house . . . . but make no effort to be the kind of a woman a man ACTUALLY WANTS in his life.
Try that on and see if it fits.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
WHY do you keep USING a CAPITAL WORD every OTHER word.
seriously, to you it may sound like you’re ‘making a point’ or whatever, but to everyone else it sounds like you can’t control the volume of your voice.
anyway, what i was going to point out is your first sentence:
“Well that’s only because the woman HAS SOMETHING TO LOSE.”
as if someone would be thinking ‘WELL I HAVE NOTHIN’ TO LOSE SO I’M GOING TO CARELESSLY HANG THIS– OOPS I DROPPED IT OH WELL HAR HAR’
idiot.
I don’t care what it “sounds like” to you.
How about you control the sound of the voice in your own head that’s SCREAMING at you instead of blaming TYPED WORDS on a webpage where you are not even welcome or invited to be ….. for why you’re INSANE.
Cunt.
HOLY COW. IS this BROAD nuts OR what? SHE expects THAT we ARE responsible FOR the FANTASIES of HER wittle WITTLES female BRAIN.
That IS the DEFINITION of A female FOR you GENTLEMEN.
think ABOUT that.
My morning coffee never tasted so good.
Yes, Chris,
what a life to be a man, whomen can only be jelaous.
@anonymoCAO
The capitals are not for you dear, thay are for us men. this site is for us men. The capitals help us to speed read.
We know this is to hard for you to understand, afer all you are a whoman.
TYPING IN CAPS IS PERFECTLY OK IF YOU MAKE SENSE.
Karen, I’m not going to say much here other than “Way to completely miss the point”. You realize of course that by focusing on one small part of the argument that really had nothing to do with the actual point, you have only provided more fuel for future arguments, right?
I must say, I grow tired of women being entirely incapable of understanding the underlying meaning of something and instead just grasping whatever is sitting on the outermost layer and trying to argue that the whole thing is false. I could make another analogy using the bible here, but for God’s sake, I’d probably be wasting my time.
Men do it too, but women do it with a righteous fury.
So, only one time you saw a woman drop something?
Once?
Very good evidence of this topic.
My mom works in a museum an she and her friend, who also works in the museum, have not dropped one painting in about 30 years of work. Art is not really my thing, though I have helped dozens of time with exhibits and I myself have never dropped a painting.
Dick Masterson said:
Women can’t hang picture frames for shit. One time, I was watching a woman hang a picture and she completely dropped it. The whole thing shattered and got glass everywhere.
I say:
Women constantly fuck even the most simplest things in life up because they have no actual bearing in reality. They fuck even the most simplest of things up because they never really have to deal with the concequences of their actions, and someone is always there to clean their shit up for them. They fuck things up because they have no concept of how to do things correctly, nor understanding of things OUTSIDE of themselves.
Dick Masterson says:
Women have no idea how hard it is to have sex with them. If they did, they’d show a little more gratitude and respect. Gratitude means me not having to subtly ask for a bowl of cereal afterwards, and then specifically ask for a bowl of cereal after that. A grateful woman has the shit in the refrigerator ready to go for later, before the romance has even started.
I say:
Women have no idea how hard it is to have sex with them. If they understood how much time, energy, forethought, patience and confidence that it costs for Men to do so in todays world, they would be a little more appreciative of what was invested into them. However they don’t. Maybe if they prepped the engine a little more, if they invested more into the process they would get more in return, however for the most part they don’t because they don’t have to nor do they understand that part of it either.
Dick Masterson says:
Go hang a picture right now and tell me you’re not using the same manjo to get that fucking wire on that impressively masculine nail that you are when you’re pleasuring a lovely lady. Just look at the face you’re making! I’m not going to spell it out any more than that. I’ll just say that it’s easy to stick a key in a lock when it’s noon, but in the middle of the night when your porch light is broken, it’s more difficult.
I say:
I shouldn’t have to say anything here. Look up the words Metaphor, Anology, Parable, and Fable, to understand what is said here.
-Strength and Honor-
The mens orgasm serves a purpose while womens doesn’t lol
Now I get it.
And Holodog, perfect reply lol.
I completely agree with Hobs, I thought it was hilarious, and I laughed harder when you guys said you didnt get it. Think about it one step at a time. BTW Dick, Im re-using this joke to my friends, with credit to you of course. Actually, im just going to send them here and let them read it all themselves.
Wolfe, I kind of get what you are trying to talk about… but you said it all wrong…
How can you not get it, are you all children or something?
I didn’t get that joke.
Think about that as a metaphor for sex. And relationships.
Personally I think Dick wrote this with some Boddington’s in him. But I grok it, sure. It’s a ‘what’s up, Hiroshi’ moment.
And what’s up, Hiroshi?
-wolfe
Hulk head HURT. Hulk MAD!
The bowl of cereal is a metaphor. So is the picture frame and picture. (and look at the use of language on that — subtly, cereal, specifically, cereal, started)
Think about that as a metaphor for sex. And relationships.
Personally I think Dick wrote this with some Boddington’s in him. But I grok it, sure. It’s a ‘what’s up, Hiroshi’ moment.
And what’s up, Hiroshi?
-wolfe
That makes two of us.
I don’t get it…