The Manliest Joke Ever Told
Women can’t hang picture frames for shit. One time, I was watching a woman hang a picture and she completely dropped it. The whole thing shattered and got glass everywhere.
Nice work, lady.
Men are better than women.
Women have no idea how hard it is to have sex with them. If they did, they’d show a little more gratitude and respect. Gratitude means me not having to subtly ask for a bowl of cereal afterwards, and then specifically ask for a bowl of cereal after that. A grateful woman has the shit in the refrigerator ready to go for later, before the romance has even started.
But not too early because then it would get soggy. It’s best to make a new one every 30 minutes.
But not obviously. That looks desperate.
Go hang a picture right now and tell me you’re not using the same manjo to get that fucking wire on that impressively masculine nail that you are when you’re pleasuring a lovely lady. Just look at the face you’re making! I’m not going to spell it out any more than that. I’ll just say that it’s easy to stick a key in a lock when it’s noon, but in the middle of the night when your porch light is broken, it’s more difficult.
Women are lousy at sex.
One time (a different time to the one I was talking about earlier), I watched one of these “lesbian” strap-on pornos. Talk about clumsy and embarrassing! These broads had a 50 stroke handicap.
That was the manliest joke that has ever been made.
“Lesbians” + Golf + Sex = The Manliest Joke Ever Told
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June 19th, 2007 at 2:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 422940479a69d
I don’t get it…
June 19th, 2007 at 9:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
That makes two of us.
June 19th, 2007 at 3:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
The bowl of cereal is a metaphor. So is the picture frame and picture. (and look at the use of language on that — subtly, cereal, specifically, cereal, started)
Think about that as a metaphor for sex. And relationships.
Personally I think Dick wrote this with some Boddington’s in him. But I grok it, sure. It’s a ‘what’s up, Hiroshi’ moment.
And what’s up, Hiroshi?
-wolfe
June 19th, 2007 at 6:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 66d7369f31c7b
Think about that as a metaphor for sex. And relationships.
Personally I think Dick wrote this with some Boddington’s in him. But I grok it, sure. It’s a ‘what’s up, Hiroshi’ moment.
And what’s up, Hiroshi?
-wolfe
Hulk head HURT. Hulk MAD!
June 26th, 2007 at 7:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 37505c1825041
I didn’t get that joke.
June 30th, 2007 at 7:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 0cde49f3f92a9
How can you not get it, are you all children or something?
July 3rd, 2007 at 4:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4bd5e347dafa0
I completely agree with Hobs, I thought it was hilarious, and I laughed harder when you guys said you didnt get it. Think about it one step at a time. BTW Dick, Im re-using this joke to my friends, with credit to you of course. Actually, im just going to send them here and let them read it all themselves.
Wolfe, I kind of get what you are trying to talk about… but you said it all wrong…
July 3rd, 2007 at 4:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4bd5e347dafa0
And Holodog, perfect reply lol.
July 4th, 2007 at 9:51 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Now I get it.
September 26th, 2007 at 9:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 510ea78f5e3c3
The mens orgasm serves a purpose while womens doesn’t lol
September 26th, 2007 at 11:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 416d008f5848a
Dick Masterson said:
Women can’t hang picture frames for shit. One time, I was watching a woman hang a picture and she completely dropped it. The whole thing shattered and got glass everywhere.
I say:
Women constantly fuck even the most simplest things in life up because they have no actual bearing in reality. They fuck even the most simplest of things up because they never really have to deal with the concequences of their actions, and someone is always there to clean their shit up for them. They fuck things up because they have no concept of how to do things correctly, nor understanding of things OUTSIDE of themselves.
Dick Masterson says:
Women have no idea how hard it is to have sex with them. If they did, they’d show a little more gratitude and respect. Gratitude means me not having to subtly ask for a bowl of cereal afterwards, and then specifically ask for a bowl of cereal after that. A grateful woman has the shit in the refrigerator ready to go for later, before the romance has even started.
I say:
Women have no idea how hard it is to have sex with them. If they understood how much time, energy, forethought, patience and confidence that it costs for Men to do so in todays world, they would be a little more appreciative of what was invested into them. However they don’t. Maybe if they prepped the engine a little more, if they invested more into the process they would get more in return, however for the most part they don’t because they don’t have to nor do they understand that part of it either.
Dick Masterson says:
Go hang a picture right now and tell me you’re not using the same manjo to get that fucking wire on that impressively masculine nail that you are when you’re pleasuring a lovely lady. Just look at the face you’re making! I’m not going to spell it out any more than that. I’ll just say that it’s easy to stick a key in a lock when it’s noon, but in the middle of the night when your porch light is broken, it’s more difficult.
I say:
I shouldn’t have to say anything here. Look up the words Metaphor, Anology, Parable, and Fable, to understand what is said here.
-Strength and Honor-
December 5th, 2007 at 3:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
So, only one time you saw a woman drop something?
Once?
Very good evidence of this topic.
My mom works in a museum an she and her friend, who also works in the museum, have not dropped one painting in about 30 years of work. Art is not really my thing, though I have helped dozens of time with exhibits and I myself have never dropped a painting.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:00 am - IP Man-Hash: ed4fdd9bd6540
Karen, I’m not going to say much here other than “Way to completely miss the point”. You realize of course that by focusing on one small part of the argument that really had nothing to do with the actual point, you have only provided more fuel for future arguments, right?
I must say, I grow tired of women being entirely incapable of understanding the underlying meaning of something and instead just grasping whatever is sitting on the outermost layer and trying to argue that the whole thing is false. I could make another analogy using the bible here, but for God’s sake, I’d probably be wasting my time.
Men do it too, but women do it with a righteous fury.