The Pregnant Brain
I mentioned at some point in the not so distant man-past that a woman’s brain works better while it’s being consumed by venereal disease. That was only half true though. It turns out that women’s brains also work much better while they’re pregnant!
Again we see that good old Napoleon had women pegged from the get go.
“Women are only meant for making babies.” -Napoleon
And now science supports that claim. It’s like when you read about ancient astronomers who figured out the distance from the Earth to the moon using only telescopes and their wits. That’s Napoleon and sociology. He was a prophet.
There’s an article all about women and their baby making that I’m posting on the bottom of this page. It confirms exactly what all of us men know. Women’s brains are as useless as a urinal on a boat. However, it poses an interesting theory: women are slightly less dumber than dirt when pregnant.
Interesting. I said. Then I read more.
Pregnancy increases the size of certain neuron areas in women’s brains.
In other words, pregnancy makes a woman’s brain bigger — more like a man’s brain. And that makes it better. Big fucking surprise.
Using the brain to rear a child stimulates brain growth.
How about that. Actually using the brain — something that a man does every day while amusing his friends and co-workers and while keeping the entire fucking world from careening off into hell — makes the brain better. The brain is like an out-board motor then. You leave in it the shed or on the couch bullshitting with its squawk-happy friends all day at it turns into a rusted piece of shit.
Perhaps women will knock off that “all men are children” horseshit now that it’s finally official: dealing with children makes you smarter.
Virgin female rats took five times longer than mother rats to find hidden food.
Well that’s obviously true. I’ve never known a virgin who could do anything worth a damn.
I guess we now know what port-partum depression really is. It’s nature taking off a woman’s brainum blindfold and forcing her to see the world through manlier eyes for the first time. That’s why they turn into emotional disasters. It would be like a man waking up and realizing that at some point he had been wrong.
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January 24th, 2006 at 11:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 6e444fc95731b
Heh! And here I thought when I got all idiotic after having my babies, it was because I was donating half my brain to the first one and half of the remainder of the second one, thus leaving me a quarter brain. I was SO wrong on that one.
January 25th, 2006 at 12:08 am - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
I guess we now know what port-partum depression really is. It’s nature taking off a woman’s brainum blindfold and forcing her to see the world through manlier eyes for the first time.
So, what are you saying?..that the natural emotional state for men is depression? You could have fooled me. I thought it was a combination of agro/child/clown shoes, with an occassional dose of adult thrown in. Not that theres anything wrong with that, of course. I’d just prefer to be in the other room (or off the boards) when the agro-child makes an appearance.
January 25th, 2006 at 12:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 192a7f0f83d17
I think the term Dick meant is “disillusionment”. Of course disillusionment is more often a good thing than a bad thing, but this is from my understanding and experience.
January 25th, 2006 at 1:12 am - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
Are you saying that in your experience, PPD is synonymous with disillusionment?
January 25th, 2006 at 3:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 430f4bfbf8b4b
Female, we are looking forward to your episode of PPD.
Hopefully within the next 30 seconds.
January 25th, 2006 at 8:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
Bit hard for me to be disillusioned by an agro/child such as yourself christian. A dime a dozen. You live in BrisVegas don’t you?
January 26th, 2006 at 12:33 am - IP Man-Hash: e616b9a6becce
Female Said: “So, what are you saying?..that the natural emotional state for men is depression?”
At the risk of sounding rude, you Female, are utterly moronic. Dick never said that, nor was it insinuated anywhere with in his writing. Yet, another example of the reading comprehension abilities of women. What Dick said was that post-partum depression occurs when women are forced to look beyond themselves and face the reality of the world as men do constantly. We, being men, however are able to face life head on and still maintain our joyous man-titudes. Where as women become depressed at the notion that there are other things that matter besides them-selves. I am of course para-phrasing.
January 26th, 2006 at 4:11 am - IP Man-Hash: 74bc7f916948f
Fishing are we Fem ?
January 26th, 2006 at 11:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Dick said “I guess we now know what port-partum depression really is. It’s nature taking off a woman’s brainum blindfold and forcing her to see the world through manlier eyes for the first time.”
The Zoolander Centre called, they’re waiting for your enrolment form.
January 26th, 2006 at 11:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
No just stating the obvious.
January 27th, 2006 at 2:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: a1da9f9ac370d
Again female he said “manlier eyes” no where did he say that men are depressed, rather that women get depressed when forced to finally see things in the correct manner.
January 27th, 2006 at 2:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 133594a8f70d0
I have found that many people simply refuse to accept anything unless it corresponds to their views. On several of my posts female and nicole simply take one part of an overall arguement and try to refute it. Instead of trying to rebut the whole point they argue one.
January 27th, 2006 at 5:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
If Dick wasn’t depressed he wouldn’t have had to build this site to whinge 24/7. I rest my case.
January 27th, 2006 at 5:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: a1da9f9ac370d
Yes Female, well, if you were not a self-absorbed, narcissistic, attention whore wallowing in self-pity, you would not be on a site where you are neither wanted nor invited. What do you say Dick, is that check-mate again?
January 28th, 2006 at 1:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 9e50cd8fe6790
Female Says:
January 26th, 2006 at 11:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Fem Says:
January 25th, 2006 at 8:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
Gee, looks like you can’t stop the attention whoring.