The Ubermensch
If a man is so inclined, he can learn everything he needs to know from one source: Superman. How to act, how to treat the less fortunate, how to live lies and lead double lives — it’s all there for men. That’s because Superman isn’t an alien from another planet, what he really is is the archetype for all men. Think about it.
Honor, strength, laser vision; I couldn’t pick three words that would better describe a man. That’s from Superman. Know what else is from Superman? Men are better than women.
I know what none of you men are thinking: “You can’t compare Superman to all women and say men are better than women! That’s stupid!” I know you’re not thinking that because it’s a dumb fucking thing to think. That’s a woman-type thought. No, that’s not what I’m saying, but what I will be saying requires a certain man-derstanding of literature and storytelling in all forms. That means this article needs an extra no women allowed disclaimer.
No Women Allowed.
Stories of epic proportion require balance or else you end up with some womanly thing of no importance or value — like that chick-flick Something’s Gotta Give. Man that thing is a piece of shit. In the Superman mythos, the balance is as follows. Superman is good; Lex Luthor is evil. Superman is wise and experienced; Jimmy Olsen is naïve but respectful and willing to learn. There is a synergy there and lessons there that all men can draw from; good or bad. Finally, the most important pairing: Superman is a man; Lois Lane is a woman.
It’s perfect. First of all, any man has about as good a chance of being a flying, cape-wearing alien with the ability to spin the world in reverse as any woman has of being a competent, confident career woman who doesn’t stick her foot down her throat when all that’s required is a “Yes please” and “Thank you. I’ll have another”.
While Lois Lane is a successful woman, just like in real life, it means she’s also a raving bitch. Lois Lane is an attention whore and a single-minded maniac who constantly sticks her nose and feet where they don’t belong and usually ends up costing Superman huge chunks of his time pulling her ass out of the fire and her head out of her ass. In that amount of time, thousands of people die in catastrophes and genocides all over the world. Does that stop her? No.
Fuck everyone else. As long as I get my piece of the corporate pie Greater Good be damned. That’s a female trait if I’ve ever heard one. Women constantly sell out their children and families lusting after the vaulted status of Career Woman — which usually just means sitting behind a desk in real estate and shuffling papers. That’s probably called equality in sewing circles and book clubs, but in my world it’s called a dead-end job and a fucking waste of time. Women have as much place in careers as does the letter q. Do you see a q in career?
The most valuable lesson of all is that just like all men, Superman has only one weakness: kryptonite. If there’s no kryptonite about, Superman is a badass no-nonsense ass kicker who doesn’t take any kind of guff. Men are exactly the same, except that instead of kryptonite it’s anal and (surprisingly to women) not constant bitching and obligations. Women are just too stupid to think outside the box.
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February 3rd, 2007 at 6:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 001a1de92075b
@Dan (not that he’s here to see it): True, but the fish + bicycle analogy was a nice play on Gloria Steinem’s famous comment about men. Or so I thought.
-wolfe
February 3rd, 2007 at 6:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 1e9a4fd46c3a7
Heh, a name for a female superhero is the same as a drug. Coincidence?
February 3rd, 2007 at 6:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2d5f294fd2234
Only for the old hag to turn on her word and prove that skanky old fish do ride a bicyles. She did marry afterwards. Not that women say anything they really mean or it’s her perogotive to change her mind. Nothing a woman says should ever be taken seriously unless they talk about murder.
February 6th, 2007 at 2:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 001a1de92075b
Of course she married afterwards. To a man with money. Like most women. So be it.
-wolfe
March 22nd, 2007 at 1:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1207b9a8d74
I wonder if Female will ever truly learn to read…
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
Just what is that supposed to mean BlackMage? You seem to believe that you can see inside my mind and comprehend both what I can see and what I cannot see. Here’s some advice for you, you cannot. Don’t presume to think you can understand me simply from reading some of my comments. The internet cannot adequately substitute for real interaction.
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1207b9a8d74
You completely miss the point of this site.
The complete disregard for “No women allowed” either means you can’t read or you choose not to (both equally sad).
You take everything here far too seriously and really cause nothing more than getting people to laugh at you.
You’re pathetic and hilarious. Please, continue making a spectacle of yourself here, it amuses me to no end.
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
You mean the satire? No, I don’t miss that, but you have clearly missed the fact that most posters here (including yourself) are actually abusive, rather than satirical. Have a nice day being wrong.
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1207b9a8d74
FIXED
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
Think harder.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foil_(literature)
I simply prove that the men on this site are not better than women, for when a woman enters here she is abused. Or, you get the really sad cases, those women who also ignore the “No Women Allowed” sign, but who still enter simply to abuse other women so they can get on the good side of men. Pathetic.
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8d87604c92686
So there’s nothing on this site that you agree with?
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4a1207b9a8d74
You’re funny. Did you know that?
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
Yes, and I’m also right more often than not.
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
Not much. Actually, absolutely nothing if I am to apply the descriptions of women given here, to myself or my own life.
March 22nd, 2007 at 10:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: cdf951e8caf59
Men know when women want to get on our good side. A deafening cry for a blowjob is one way to tell. But the women who post on this site and “abuse other women” are not abusing anything that isn’t the truth. Though you, Female, are the one “abusing women” with your lack of everything that ranges from understanding what this site is really all about, to not being able to read the “No Women Allowed” sign. Some women actually do salvage themselves from the clutches of Feminism because they know it’s all bullshit, and most likely because these are attractive women who don’t want to get caught up in the ugly world of the Feminazi.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 3e4fe6a7e6d7d
Really, I thought you all believed that women hate sex and giving bjs and that the only time a woman does either is because she wants cash, because all woman are apparently just whores.
What truth?
Why don’t you tell me what exactly this site is all about then. I admit that ignoring the sign on the door isn’t very respectful of me, but then I find it hard to show respect to statements such as “all women are cheating whores.” Tell me why I shouldn’t find that statement ignorant, annoying and rude, regardless of whether it is mean to be funny.
I’m actually not a man-hating feminist, I have gone out of my way to steer clear of reading feminist literature all through uni and I avoided the “women’s room” because I don’t like cliques with exclusionary policies, so if you imagine me to be a butch dyke feminist in birkenstocks, you are sadly mistaken. You also seem to think that feminists by definition must be ugly. Just because men who can’t keep an attractive women end up forming women-hating clubs does not meant that women do the same because of a similiar reason. There is such a thing as advocacy against injustice.
March 23rd, 2007 at 6:50 am - IP Man-Hash: cdf951e8caf59
You practically backed up what I said right there.
But the women who post on this site and “abuse other women” are not abusing anything that isn’t the truth.
What truth?
The simple fact that men are better than women. Women are annoying and complain about everything. Hence why technically they’re not allowed on this site. Men try to share concrete facts with other men and then a woman shows up and before you know it everything has to be a power struggle.
I don’t see why I should answer that since the answers are all over the site, but much like that sign, a lot seems to slip past your mind. This site is about the inefficiencies of women who have a narrow minded view of what their rights truly are, which would also lead to Feminism, a group of hideous women driven by the hatred for men through the spirit of Fascism. Men are here to display their right to free spreech, and to the truth, because unlike all these women who swear by the lie that women are oppressed, men are the ones truly getting screwed over. You’ll never see this on your Tv at home, CNN, Fox News, or any significant news outlet. Feminists control the media and will shoot down anything that jeopardizes their way of life. You shouldn’t find anything here rude, insulting, etc, because you have no business being here anyway.
Again with the “women-hating club”. This is not a women hating site. Women are just the more dull conterpart to the man of the Homosapien species. That doen’t warrent men to hate women, it’s just the truth. And yes, feminists are ugly, but ugly! And it has nothing to do with men being unable to keep attractive women. Men can keep all kinds of women. Men know when a woman is attractive and when a woman is not, because we’re men and men have great eyes. On the other hand, all women think they’re ugly. I haven’t met a woman who hasn’t plastered shit on her face like frosting on a cake. Women have an image problem, with themselves, and because they’re so dull they don’t know how to solve it. That’s where the man comes in and makes the final call.
Yes, there is such a thing as advocacy against injustice. Hence, you can make a case that that’s what this site is about.
March 23rd, 2007 at 6:55 am - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
Just FYI to the newcomers: Female’s a long-time pathological poster to this site. There’s really no sense in engaging her, though it generally takes engaging her for a while to realize the futility.
Your call, but me, I only engage her for some level of amusement any more, and even that is losing its attracting. Near as I can tell, she honestly believes that she’s disproving the basic tenet of the site, while any objective reader can see that she’s proving it.
It’s kind of how I assume rational American Conservatives feel about Anne Coulter: they wish she’d shut up, because her rabid inanities only provide ammunition for the opposition to accuse them of being insane.
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:16 am - IP Man-Hash: ec4099494ceba
Obviously delusional.
Hit the nail on the head.
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Not that they aren’t.