The Wife Contract. Absolute Perfection
Is it so fucking crazy to have some expectations of your spouse? Or is that the pedophilia of the twenty-first century?
Actually, I guess it is. That explains why so many women-teachers are getting away with molesting thirteen year olds. Women molest kids. Women have all kinds of crazy expectations from their spouses.
Apparently, they’re one in the same.
Here are some female type crazy expectations just off the top of my head.
1. Husbands are expected to buy a house for their princess before the age of 35. Before his age of 35. Hers is irrelevant.
2. Husbands are expected to maintain an erection over a manatee that was once a beautiful young woman and has since racked them up a five figure mortgage payment.
3. Husbands are expected to keep their mouths shut when women open theirs and add another shovelful of dung onto the “Top 10 Dumbest Things Said of All Time” list. Fuck you.
If you ask me, those are some crazy expectations. Here comes the zinger.
There’s a new trend that I am behind five hundred thousand percent. It’s called the “Wife Contract”. I like to imagine it like a pre-nuptial agreement on steroids, but it’s really much more. It’s much more like a marriage counselor on steroids.
Have any of you ever been to a marriage counselor? I’m guessing yes, because you’re here and that means you have a problem putting up with mouth-nonsense just because it’s coming out of a sex-toy. Seriously though, answering woman with anything other than, “you have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” is demeaning. It’s disingenuous. As a man, you have to admit that.
Marriage counselors are completely full of shit.
I have a friend who’s a marriage counselor. He’s a good guy. He’s quite rich and let me tell you something; he deserves every fucking penny of it. You know that feeling you get right when a woman leans forward like she’s about to say something. That’s his entire fucking job. That’s his life.
According to him, marriage problems are the woman’s fault 98% of the time. The remaining 2%, he says, are because of religious conflicts.
To be fair, I blame men for that. After all, is it not the job of a man somewhere to tell a woman what her religious beliefs are and make sure she understands how to regurgitate them? Is there even a religion where the main God is a woman? If there is, it’s the religion of Happy Hour at the Bar with the Hot Waitress. I think we’re on the same page here. The “Wife Contract” is merely an extension of this principle.
Travis Frey of Iowa, is facing kidnapping charges merely for doing what every man in the world wants: putting some “crazy expectations” of his own into writing and making his wife sign it. Crazy expectations like what I ask?
Be naked for at least 3 hours a day? Yes.
Be cheerful and adoring toward her husband? Yes.
Don’t be a condescending bitch? Well look at that. Yes.
Travis’ even got a fucking incentive program all built in! Described as Good Behavior Days, said wife can cash in on actions above and beyond the call of wifery whenever she pleases. It’s like getting frequent flier miles just for doing your goddamn job.
All women should be so lucky.
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I always thought it was men are from mars and women are from venus? But I agree most of what is said here is true… although, there is anger in here too. “fuck off” is usually said when someone is mad.
i have a solution!
Turn gay! you hang out with men 24/7 perfect for your dilemma!
So what are the mens expectations?
i would think these
1.support your family
2.be faithful, if your wife is faithful
(others on this site yes men have agreed that men who abandoned their family for no reason are scum.)
3.give respect if you want respect.
You are the men who will die alone, am i right?
without simply chivalry no women will want you in the first place, which also solves your problem, they don’t want you, you don’t have to deal with them!
Most women today are like that piece-of-crap, rusty, gas-guzzling 1974 Chevy Impala that nobody wants. If we’re deciding to get the Impala or a 2006 Porsche Speedster that runs beautifully, you understand what kind of quality is better deserving for men.
why is it that every major posts that dick makes goes along the lines of this:
fem and some feminist make a bitchfest, the men come in… beats them to a pulp.. they then start talking senseless because they have lost the argument or point out freudian slips(which no one cares). after that, they just run for the next topic, eager to make a point.
the whole thing just replays and they get pwned… its better than the reruns in cartoon network.
whats the real shame is women cant accept men for what they are and not wish they could change their partner. Men feel like their always subject to a standard for women.
I bet you work do the laundry and cook for your wife? sounds like she got you nuttered panzie boy.
Hey I didn’t know Dr. Phil had enough time to come on Dicks website! I “pitty” you as well for falling in line with such pseudo-psychological bullshit.
Anger comes from frustration for the most part and it certainly isn’t a “cowards way out”. It’s one reason why things get changed actually.
-Strength and Honor-
It is a shame to see the two sides of this issue turning into insults rather then conversation. men are from venus, woman from mars and vice versa. come on, we are all differant, work with the differences and things fall into place. see positive in the differences, and things can be VERY interesting. anger is a wasted energy when it comes to making a relationship work. anger is a cowards way of saying that they are not worth the time, so fuck off. really!?! what a hole to be stuck in. i pitty those people.
That’s because men have brains and not donkey shit in their heads, diamatik.
-Dick
It would be a waste of time for women to want to draft rules in a marriage contract. Women dont know what they want, and they change their minds constantly. [Observe how she suggests a contract for men to sign, but then immediately tries to wiggle out of it by suggesting they shuld not be 'hard rules'].
A Man is more stable, specific and knows what he wants, that is why it is a good idea for a man to draft one for his wife.
No question about this. You are an idiot for simply being here against the rules and trying to convince men that you some sense..
Laundry hampers? Clothing on the floor? “Why don’t you put them away for me”?
Here’s the key, ladies. We don’t care about clothes sitting on the floor. Isn’t it obvious? We just don’t care. Do you understand? In the same way you don’t care about who won the game last night.
I understand it’s one of your major priorities. Can you understand that for men it is not? Anything we do with the laundry is done to accomodate *you*. In fact, most of what gets done in the house is the same way. From our perspective, you’re constantly freaking out over trivial matters.
Here’s another difference between men and women: we tend to put up with it and try to accomodate our partner. Many of you have to have everything your own way. Many of you don’t hestitate to make life miserable for your husbands until you do.
If we acted in the same way, you’d go nutters. Think about how you’d react if your husband demanded every day that you park at exactly the right angle, and chewed your ass every time he thought you didn’t quite get it. I know how you’d react. A week or two of yelling and crying and then a divorce.
Women just don’t know how good they’ve got it these days.
No many women just prefer to have enough wiggle room, to take her husband to the cleaners. A marriage contract would be avoided like the plague to them because it forces them to actually do what they SAY and not recieve any “entitlements” .
Strength and Honor
But a signed contract of marriage is not far enough, right?
Jesus, you’re full of shit, Femme.
-Dick
I don’t disagree with discussing what each expects and hopes from their partner and a marriage, or writing this down if it helps them to elaborate on it and remember it, but I think a signed contract is going a bit far.
The man in Dick’s story is a bonafide nutjob.
I agree. I think I even said as much somewhere above.
Agreed. It won’t solve all problems, or even a majority, but it will solve more than it creates.
-wolfe
I don’t remember posting any comments on this article, so I am not sure why Fem is addressing me.
To be honest I think these guys have a point. You bring up some things that are a bit … well, unimportant. Whether or not a guy manages to get his clothes into a wash-basket (annoying as though that may be) does not really matter in the long run. That comment does not apply to all men either, for example I live with a guy who is very, very tidy, even to anal standards, I would bet that my flatmate would put his clothes in the wash-basket.
Also, the issue with things like constant sexual commands does sound like you picked the wrong kind of partner for you… some people are more demanding in this area than others, this is not male-specific. Some women are demanding in this respect too, from what I understand.
I don’t think it is a bad idea to draw up a more specific contract for marriage, but there should be one for women and men too. These should not be hard rules as to how many nights a week you should have sex or whatever, but a communication of what your basic needs are so that you both know where your expectations stand. Like it or not, everyone has expectations of a marriage. Makes sense to outline them from the outset. The example above is a bit over the top, really. The basic idea is not bad though. Would be interesting to pilot….
Like abaddon, I was only trying to make you think and see other perspectives. Some of what you said was valid, some of it wasn’t, and some of it you’d have to work very hard and look carefully at men to ensure you make a good choice.
Good. Glad to hear it.
-wolfe
LOL. Speaking of female self-esteem, how about a contribution to the Dove self esteem fund?