Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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^ agreed.
And you could set a good example by refusing to encourage/applaud that disgusting, sexist comment about men by Slinger. She is also being a sexist moron… just as bad as the men on here who post that all women as worthless sluts and whores.
LOL, too fucking right!
Did I say that I didn’t understand? No. But am I labeling what you said as stupid? eureka-
“What a disgusting and debased way to view and speak of fellow human beings! For goodness sake, don’t you think all this is childish and a waste of valuable time?”
Yeah, seriously. These sexist morons need to grow up and do something useful with their time instead of sit around and totally degrade their opposite sex.
If you are referring to the posts you describe by “all of this”, I agree completely.
-wolfe
What, are you really that stupid? What is so hard to understand about what I said?
“just because women’s brains are smaller doesn’t mean that they are less intelligent. Men’s brains are bigger, but women have greater neuron density.”
WTF?
no you are laughing because it is all true what he writes.
Uh, no I’m not! Can’t you read? I’m laughing because Dick is a moron. He writes all of this bullshit about women, and it’s based on stereotypes. He claims that all women are idiotic, illiterate, worthless whores, and he has no right to say that when there are billions of women in the world that he has never even met before. He just assumes that they’re all idiots because their brains are smaller, and he needs to pull his stupid head out of his ass and realize that just because women’s brains are smaller doesn’t mean that they are less intelligent. Men’s brains are bigger, but women have greater neuron density. There is not a sex of higher intelligence.
*claps hands*
I don’t know which is worse: the posts from women-hating men on here saying that women are nothing more than pieces of meat, walking wombs, that they are stupid cunts, worthless whores etc. or the arrival of a man-hating woman spouting off lines about ‘chunks of stinking meat’ referring to the penis and gloating about how short men’s lives are on average.
What a disgusting and debased way to view and speak of fellow human beings! For goodness sake, don’t you think all this is childish and a waste of valuable time?
10. Women do not have Tourette Syndrome.
For some unknown reason, Men feel the need to spout off none stop monkey crap to each other in the form of swear words. Obviously, this is because their simple minds are so undeveloped that the only intelligent thing they have to say to anyone has to be backed up by the word “Fuck”. Not only is this because their vocabulary is astonishingly limited, but it is because every three seconds, they think about fucking. Usually, the fucking involves a female partner, so not only are women fluent when it comes to stringing a sentence together without profanities, but they are also the one thing men can’t stop thinking about. Great, isn’t it?
9. Men are not sponges.
Which is exactly why they become the relentlessly awkward morons they are.
8. Women are racists?
You need to learn the definition of the word ‘racist’. Again, the verbal stupidity of men shines through.
7. Men live less than women.
And women thank the lord for it every day.
6. Men write illegibly.
Because if they were to write anything remotely legible, women would realise just how retarded they really are.
5. Jesus was a man.
Mary was a woman.
4. Men wear watches.
Yet they always seem to ask women for the time.
3. Boys destroy things.
Girls create things. (Men, sadly being one of them.)
2. Marriage is stupid.
Reflecting the stupidity of it’s creators.
1. Men have penises.
Yeah, that chunk of stinking meat that announces to the world just how much of a sick pervert you are. That is one thing that women will never have to worry about. Joy.
Indeed. Do you realise what a joke you are?
“Dick”. 4 alphanumerical characters. Yet, you spelt it “DIck”. Notice the the “I”, second letter, is a majuscule? I thought that name might be reserved but caps sensitive, so I checked.
You just proved all the currently drafted laws of women as well as some that are yet to be formulated. Not that I expect you to know or comprehend them.
- Korn - Freak on a Leash
Just a test for the sake of thoroughness, sony here.
Hey buddy, you’ve just made a good case for abortion.
Then you are LOST.
Everything you said about women is true which is why we’re here. But hating men and women equally because men fuck up about 1% of what women do? Pathetic, nuetered, “mass punishment” hitler/female idealogy.
Most of us have had that one female that can make us happy like no other or destroy us, the question is what kind of dumb fuck says “ok women fucked me over I hate males too”? The kind of coward who’s been brainwashed well by the PC crowd terrified to say that men are better than women. In every way.
How distasteful…
Yes, men do live shorter natural lives, on average. There might come the day you live to regret your rejoicing now as your heart will hurt with sorrow and grief over someone you’ll have loved. However unlikely that might now seem in your case.
Marriage is stupid because it involves women, and women never make sense.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
MARRIAGE IS STUPID BECAUSE WOMEN ARE FORCED TO MARRY IDIOTS LIKE YOURSELVES WHO THEY CAN NEVER HOPE TO LOVE AND HAVE TO BE MISERABLE WITH UNTIL EITHER A) THE HUSBAND DIES BECAUSE YOU ALL HAVE SHORT LIVES (THANK GOD) OR B) THEY GET DIVORCED!
GO CRY OVER THAT ONE, LOSERS!
I HAVE WORN A WATCH EVER SINCE I KNEW WHAT IT WAS!