Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women

MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.

Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.

Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com

10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

1. Men have penises

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’

Men Are Better Than Women.

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8,973 Comments in 7296 threads.»

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Comment by one voice
2006-11-29 02:02:18 - IP Man-Hash: 7f0331adb6577

I bet women would kill men off.

That is officially the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard.

 
Comment by abaddon_fff
2006-11-28 21:34:57 - IP Man-Hash: 0ab4216c0ff73

sandra said:

Thanks for responding.

You’re welcome.

Yes, I’ve noticed that. And of course I’m not saying to forget “the whole biology thing” (I said it somewhere a couple posts back.) Of course it plays a part. I think it’s about half-half b/t the two (sociology vs bio.) They’re both pretty important. I still think it’s just a little more sociological, but that’s just my own opinion and I’m not trying to force it on anyone (seriously..)

You can keep saying things, however that doesn’t make it true. I will explain this later on in the post.

I’ll just take out this excerpt from my soc. book.

Your “book” is probably highly politicised as many school books are. However I will take the time to deconstruct your/its argument since you have presented it in a respectful manner.

“Differences in the behavior of females and males reflect ‘human nature’

:

The first defining point of this quote is my point exactly. HUMAN NATURE. As far as I can tell you cannot quantify human nature. It’s simple however its ever changing. Picture if you will, what humanity would be like if we were hermaphrodites. We would be whole in a sense, however, do you think we would have survived throughout our species history? I think not, because human gestation, and a childs growth is a severely time, energy, and resource draining period in our lives. Thats why there’s two genders in the first place. Thats why we survived and prospered on this planet sandra. Not because we’re equal but we were made for two different jobs. Nature doesn’t CARE about equality, there isn’t such a thing in nature, nor in my view, stupidity, something that seems to abound in modern day society.

Much of what we call ‘human nature’ is constructed by society in which we are raised… Some societies define ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ very differently from the way we do”.

This is a female perspective. How many societies defined women as “warriors” or “soldiers”? How many societies left the Man at home to raise his child while she went to fight the wars and die? Why do you think that this is? Is it because we just wanted the women to miss out on all the fun? Or is it because we’re different and Men knew that?

then somewhere is says “in adolescense, males show greater mathematical ability and females excel in verbal skills. a diff that reflects both biology and socialization. however research points to no overall differences in intelligence between males and females.

I will agree with this, in the fact that Men and women possess different types of intelligence. Men in my view, in general, are more kinetic, spatial and logical. We simply percieve reality from a different aspect, or perspective. In short we use we use different parts of our brains to interpret what our senses receive.

-Strength and Honor-

 
Comment by if you have to say it, it isnt true
2006-11-28 20:55:20 - IP Man-Hash: a7a272faf78ca

1) You can try spelling feminist correctly in your pathetic rant, and
2) Have you ever heard of a Dr. Hall (I am assuming not, because your palavar seems to be of an uneducated individual) - his research actually proved that men are the more talkative sex- I guess making them sponges, as you call it.

By the way- Men fuck up so much more than women, its uncany- Have you heard the news, or read a book in the last 50 years? Fuckin men- once we learn how to synthesize sperm, I bet women would kill men off.

…and who were the “women who caused the horrible institution of marriage” whoring on? Fucking asshole men who were stupid enough to pay them for sex! They weren’t fornicating with eachother! Hey, if a man is stupid enough to pay for sex, and women are smart enough to capitalize..good for them.
NOT ALL WOMEN WANT TO GET MARRIED EITHER. I would rather have my eyes picked out then get married- BY THE WAY-The institution also forbids men from screwing around-Asshole!

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-11-28 20:43:04 - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952

Well it strongly reinforces it. Sure, nurture has a degree of influence, and that’s one of the things that makes a good woman more precious than air. (That’s not a cynical comment; sure, air is ‘free’, but how precious would it be to you if you didn’t have it?).

Why a woman? Well, few men have as high a direct influence on their children as their wives do. And that influence is largely malign, these days (IMHO, and in the opinion of many here). Would that were not so.

And yep, very depressing. Female genital mutilation in Africa (and parts of the middle east) is a terrible thing. But it happens to little boys too, and can be devastating, as in that case.

-wolfe

 
Comment by sandra
2006-11-28 19:15:01 - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd

prove*

 
Comment by sandra
2006-11-28 19:14:27 - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd

that article was really depressing. it does proves your point though. thanks for the link. the whole thing with that doctor pisses me off. i didnt even know burning was a method, geez. so i guess even though he was raised a girl and everything, something inside of him felt different. it makes sense. im sure it wouldnt feel ‘normal’, right? well, thanks again for the link.

 
Comment by sandra
2006-11-28 19:06:09 - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd

thanks wolfe, i’ll take a look at it! no worries, i dont believe everything i read-

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-11-28 18:54:14 - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952

@Sandra, I think you’ll find as you progress through life, that not everything in a sociology text (or any text!) or even on a website as wonderful as this is actually correct.

Take it for what you will, but I think you may reach some of the same conclusions we have, that it’s a lot more nature in the 50/50 mix you envisage. That’s what I thought too at your age; I was wrong.

Here’s an article that can give you pause for thought on how ineffective nurture can be at overcoming nature. [Warning: It's a depressing story that doesn't end happily, but it's one everyone interested in gender, nature/nurture should know.]

-wolfe

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-11-28 18:45:18 - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952

sonyad said:

I’ve just been officially freaked out. In a million years I wouldn’t have noticed that. Good thing other people are on watch.

Now it only remains to sort out… happenstance or intelligent design? Now, if the author is female of feminist political inclination, which one ought we rule out?

Ha! I’ll leave that one for you. And yeah, while my brain rearranged the letters correctly in a flash, I actually had to do it by hand to be certain I wasn’t making an error. It was just too funny. In fairness, I’d not have seen it in a million years in French (my second language) much less in a billion years in Romanian.

-wolfe

 
Comment by sandra
2006-11-28 18:29:47 - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd

oh, how typical. i just knew someone would reply with a statement along those lines. nice one Mean_Jake, thanks-

 
Comment by mean_jake
2006-11-28 18:19:27 - IP Man-Hash: 0a66d10276b0f

That’s why I said “I think� - sandra

A cunt and a brain?
is it possible that the miricle baby is more than just a mere joke?
did you hear about the miricle baby?
it was born with a cunt and a brain.

 
Comment by son of the suns
2006-11-28 16:56:17 - IP Man-Hash: 9a7056c9d5f23

All female socialogists are whores.

This jetfuel tasting tequila told me so.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-11-28 16:22:38 - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0

You’re a woman. You have zero answers.

Now get the fuck off my website.

-Dick

 
Comment by sandra
2006-11-28 15:06:58 - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd

Nope; No degree here. Not even done with high school. I’ve taken Bio a couple yrs ago as a freshman and I’m taking Sociology now. I did not say “this is this” or “that is that”. I know I don’t know all the answers. No one does. That’s why I said “I think” [as in "I believe that.."]. It’s just an opinion, and I am not trying to state anything as a fact.

 
Comment by Dick Masterson
2006-11-28 13:33:16 - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0

sandra said:

I’m not saying to forget “the whole biology thing” (I said it somewhere a couple posts back.) Of course it plays a part. I think it’s about half-half b/t the two (sociology vs bio.)

And do you have a degree in either of those or are you just talking out of an ass that shouldn’t be here.

-Dick

 
Comment by sandra
2006-11-28 13:15:30 - IP Man-Hash: 0363c503d25ea

abaddon_fff said:

-Much more of it is biological than you think sandra, however there’s a certain part of society/nurture to it. Many of us are tough, brave and forthright. That is within our natures, regardless of how we have been “taught”. As a matter of fact we’re “disciplined” for it more often then not. I would think that women are selfish creatures, now days, that will not allow a Man to teach his Son or Sons, to be Men, but would rather have a feminine version of it instead. A feminine man is nothing more than a neutered human that placates, the feminine viewpoint of reality. He simply accepts all that is woman, or female. Such a way of thinking is Matriarchal and in turn is inherently entrophic.

Have you ever noticed how many women ask for a “real man”? Thats because they have no idea what a real Man is. They’ve never seen one, nor will they. Because most Men nowadays are raised by women. Because women, in their minds have decided that THEY are the only ones that are “capable” of raising children. Never mind the fact that Men and women have been raising children for eons, never mind the fact that in the last 100 years or so, women have been considered the “nurturers” of children. Never mind the fact that more women than Men, MURDER, their own children.

But lets forget all that sandra, that whole biology thing right?

-Strength and Honor-

Thanks for responding. Yes, I’ve noticed that. And of course I’m not saying to forget “the whole biology thing” (I said it somewhere a couple posts back.) Of course it plays a part. I think it’s about half-half b/t the two (sociology vs bio.) They’re both pretty important. I still think it’s just a little more sociological, but that’s just my own opinion and I’m not trying to force it on anyone (seriously..) Keep in mind that I mentioned that my soc. teacher -no, not a woman- was talking about how the difference between men and women and how it is more sociological than “human nature”. As he was explaining it to us, it made a lot of sense to me. I’m not throwing biology out though. So I wouldn’t want anyone to think that..

I’ll just take out this excerpt from my soc. book. “Differences in the behavior of females and males reflect ‘human nature’ : Much of what we call ‘human nature’ is constructed by society in which we are raised… Some societies define ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ very differently from the way we do”. then somewhere is says “in adolescense, males show greater mathematical ability and females excel in verbal skills. a diff that reflects both biology and socialization. however research points to no overall differences in intelligence between males and females. biologically then, men and women differ in limited ways, with neither one naturally superior. but culture can define the two sexes very differently, as the global study of gender shows.” but i have a feeling a lot of you beg to differ! But we all have different opinions, I’m not freaking out over it.
-Sandra

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-28 12:08:33 - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7

I’ve just been officially freaked out. In a million years I wouldn’t have noticed that. Good thing other people are on watch.

Now it only remains to sort out… happenstance or intelligent design? Now, if the author is female of feminist political inclination, which one ought we rule out?

- The Chemical Brothers - Marvo Ging

 
Comment by wolfe
2006-11-28 12:03:30 - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952

I think it’s an anagram. Perhaps he really means:

“TRAP HIM SONY” IS THE KEY.

-wolfe

 
Comment by sonyad
2006-11-28 11:36:46 - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7

Huh?
- Lord Of War ST compilation

 
Comment by Misantrophy
2006-11-28 10:28:30 - IP Man-Hash: d95211887f13d

You are half way to perfection

MISANTROPHY IS THE KEY

 
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