Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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I agree Princess1989, women who post here should be exterminated.
Is 1989 when you hit your whore peak? So now you just bother people when you’re not wanted, you old hag?
I agree Princess1
And addendum, if I may.
All of as yet known sports.
Come to throw the proverbial spanner in the works, have you, Princess1989? Cease and desist.
Here’s the simple resolution to your conundrum, and it only took a man to explain it to you. You ask how a Men are better than women at most things (these are called mantivities) => men are even better than women at being better than the complementary gender.
Here is a brief list of examples of mantivities (these are the ones where us men shine in a league of our own): driving, parallel parking, flying aircraft, being patriarchal oppressors with bulky, muscle clad utilitarian bodies and disgustingly large and garment obtrusive ‘penile appendages’, driving, parallel parking, driving, parallel parking, using bloody stick shifts fluently and efficiently without needing neurological augmentation, inventing rockets, the internal combustion engine, nuclear fission reactors, supersonic aircraft, space shuttles and other such nifty manly shit, taking a dump in less than a century, driving, parallel parking, blowing stuff up, choosing proper attire for a lady so that she looks it and is still quite fetching yet won’t seem a two bit whore on the prowl, having better taste in arts, building and driving formula1 cars and cars of other motorsports besides the pinnacle, etc…
Obviously, men are also better at being better than women than women are.
You may thank me now.
But be you forewarned. I succumb easily to flattery.
- Antiloop - Believe
Funny how women bring up logic yet we know their minds are void of such.
They’re funny as well in my view as being true. I view humor to be a vigorous application of the truth, thats why people laugh. Your approval only matters once you gain some sort of merit.
Everything could be “subjective” if you allow it to be princess. However, I will say that the human experience, can be subjective in my view. Many of your points in this post, are solophistic, which like most people, is self centered, and narcissic.
No, in my opinion it doesn’t, I think that a code of conduct, or a code of morals should be instilled in all people. Not a religion per se, but similar to a code of law. Murder has pretty much been considered a bad thing for quite some time, or a sin, or illegal. When mass murder becomes a norm, all that means is that they’re being controlled. When people consider it a “good” thing, it simply means that they’re weak-minded in my view.
Because in every aspect of humanity, Men perform those traits better in my view. I am not saying that all Men are better than all women by any means. What I am saying is that Men by far out-preform, out produce, and achieve things that women can only dream of. This isn’t because women are oppressed, its because women hold themselves back. They refuse to evolve or adapt, or even accomodate. They ask for “independence”and “equality” and in the same turn refuse to accept the responsibility that comes with it. Instead they create oppressive and regressive laws that enslave both Men and themselves to a system that produces chaos and entropy.
-Strength and Honor-
And he still goes for the cop-out?? Alright then, enjoy your virtual soap box.
I find it very hard to believe you didn’t read my post just because I’m a woman, as you seem to respond in full to other women on this board. Sigh. I thought this site had some intelligent posters and would welcome an active dialogue. My opening statement was meant to be civil, to show you I wasn’t offended and I didn’t mean to offend anyone myself. I wasn’t going to resort to saying you’re all fags, or poorly endowed, I was just hoping for a good argument.
You seem to like these one liner parthian shots, and you’ll probably respond with something of the kind: “You are a woman” Yes. Very original. Very eloquent. I’m sure that the great men you try to allign yourself with would be proud.
They’re probably rolling in their graves, seeing you get owned so. And not even putting up a fight! :)
No women allowed.
Your logical argument starts and ends there.
-Dick
I’m sorry, I mistook you as someone who prided himself on his intelligence and ability to address logic with logic. A child could find that loop hole. Please actually address the argument, I was hoping for something to distract me from apps.
Is that my cue to stop reading? Yes it is.
-Dick
I understand ladies are not supposed to post –men need their place to vent just as women do– but I thought perhaps I might have a little fun and try to throw a wrench in the ideology that seems to pervade here.
First let me say that the top 10 reasons why men are “better” than women are great. I laughed– not in a “let’s scoff at all male-kind” kind of way, but in a genuine these are relatively funny/ some are true kind of way. Well done– haha not like my approval matters as a woman, but I thought I might offer it anyway. What I’m not impressed with, however, is that from these truisms/not exactly such truisms you come to the remedial conclusion that you do.
It’s poorly thought out. Why? Because in order to prove that men ARE better than women, one first must prove that anything can be better than anything. –Counterintuitive perhaps, but I can assure you that it can’t be done.
Certain things are subjective. Man A can think that Woman X is attractive, and Man B can disagree. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” etc. So, within this singular objective reality wherein Man A, Man B, and Woman X all co-exist there are differing subjective realities. Man A’s perception of the world differs from that of Man B’s.
To get to my point, one thing that most people generallllly can all agree on is that Hitler and his attempted methodical extermination of the Jews was an example of pure Evil in this world. –However, there were also the Nazis who believed that this exact same mission was “Good.” The goodness/evilness of the Holocaust really comes down to who you ask doesn’t? There are differing subjective realities. Now, while you may have your own opinion regarding the matter, who’s to say which one is more correct? Belief equates to nothing in the real world. Thus, what’s good and what’s bad is essentially subjective to the individual, and can never exist objectively. –(Unless you want to bring in a God figure to cast down an Objective Morality upon the land, but among intellectuals this point is moot right?)–
Now. Given that everything you say about both men and women is true, why does this necessarily make men BETTER than women? What makes any of the traits that men/women have inherently good or inherently bad?
Once again sandra has proved a man knows what’s best for a woman.
-Dick
Thank you for your concern, Wolfe. You’re right though, that this site isn’t the best site for me. I actually think this site would make MORE women turn to feminism rather than less [ahh]. Thanks for the bits of advice. I believe that no one should cheat on anyone, of course. And I definately look more for intelligence/personality than ‘muscles’. I always wonder how people find the “right person”. I’m happy for those people. I dont wan’t to end up like how my parents did. So yes, thanks for the advice. So am I still invited to post at your blog? I like the friendly enviornment [eg. no women-bashing/men-bashing] and the variety of interesting topics; ranging from religion to music to politics [some of my favs!]. Keep up the good work-
Then you’re likely hideous; on the inside or out.
-Dick
@Sandra you’re right on the stats (on talking). And you also hint at an essential truth (especially when you talk about your reluctance to ‘chat’ on the phone) — that individuals within groups can be comparable to individuals in other groups. In other words, there are certainly women in the world that are smarter than some men (not hard since men only have an average 3-5 point IQ advantage, if we believe those studies).
So, sure, take an IQ 105 woman, and an IQ 95 man. She’s smarter. However, at the top — and bottom — ends of intelligence, women are outnumbered by something like 95-100:1. Weird.
It’s as though women are version 1.0, and men are version 2.0… with a LOT of bugs and defects.
I don’t think you should post on (or read) this site. You’ve a right to — Dick’s “No ladies allowed” policy notwithstanding. But I don’t think you should.
You’re a good lass (and I don’t mean that in a remotely condescending way. I’d say lad if you were male.). While there’s truth here, and great funniness, there is, I’m sad to admit, also a bunch of misogyny that isn’t helpful.
Men shouldn’t refer to women as “cunt”. They do so regularly here.
If you want to keep posting/reading, it’s your business. I’ll respond to you, and I’ll do so with courtesy unless you say something egregiously stupid or I’m annoyed. But I don’t think you should. I don’t think it will help you develop a healthy relationship with men in the future.
On that, I’ll give you a parting piece of advice (or several). No woman should ever be a doormat for a man. No man should cheat, but a woman cheating is even worse. (Yeah, that’s not fair). Look for intelligence in a man, not muscles. Looking for both is fine, but that’s tougher. You should aim to love, honor, and obey your husband. That means you should select him very, very carefully. A man who seems attentive to your every need and nearly perfect probably isn’t. He’s probably a smooth player looking to… well… play you, even for the long game.
If you take my advice (I suspect you won’t, being female), we shan’t speak again. In that case, I wish you a very good life.
If we do speak again, well, I shan’t repeat my advice. And I still wish you a good life.
Take care,
-wolfe
I meant *In person, I’m not very talkative*
In person, I’m not a talkative person. I hate talking on the phone and I’m not very social. But I think that they proved, recently, that women talk more than men [in general].. and by a damn lot! I think it’s 20,000 words per day average for women vs. 7000 for men.
Everyone makes mistakes, some more than others. Men make a shitload of mistakes, women make a shitload of mistakes. We’re human. What really matters is that people realize what they did and make sure to not repeat that same mistake. So it’s not who messes up more, but who messes up and does the same shit over again more. That applies to everyone, male or female.
True, not all women want to get married. Not all men want to get married either. That’s personal preference. Well, if it comes down to you having to get married vs getting your eyes picked out… well, good luck with that!
-Sandra
I think that’s true (that we were made with 2 different sets of “jobs”.) I agree that men and women have different types of intelligence. I think of men as being more dominant with what the left side of the brain controls [which includes logic like you mentioned] and women more with the right side. But that’s different of course with diff. individuals and it’s not always restricted to gender. I don’t know any places where women are the “warriors”. Men are physically stronger than women and I’m not going to deny that. I was thinking more about how in America, the man is usually the head of the house. Not always, but a lot of times. Then there are other places around the world where the woman is the head of the household. Thanks for making some good pts.
-Sandra
Dear cunt,
Excuse my uneducated lower class “pavalar”, but I with my uneducated brain could outwit you with 30 years of higher “education” because my talent and instincts are bred to the bone and GOD given, and yours is as artificial as the plastic society that protects your hubris.
As for your war of extinction against those far more powerful than you, I encourage your cause. It would finally wake up the sleeping males who’s misguided chivalry has too long allowed you to thrive, you parasite.
It seems there’s always some “study” going around to support everyones opinion. It seems weird to me that Men pay the most in the taxes that probably support your government housing and health care, however you seem to assume that we’re “sponges”. We’re also the ones that have invented 99% of the time and life saving items that are here today, including that “box with the glass that makes pictures” that many of you fat ignorant women seem to be attracted to. Moreso than ding-dongs, or even jelly doughnuts.
I wouldn’t doubt it, since many women decide to kill their own children as well or cut them out of their mothers wombs, or steal them. Thats if they actually could face a Man in a fight at all though. If there ever was a real “war of the sexes”, women would get owned, and probably enslaved for their troubles.
So what you’re saying is that most women are whores? That all they’re good for is sex?
Well thank god for small miracles, give my condolences to your future husbands.
-Strength and Honor-