Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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Yeah well LAURA at least we men can fucking spell …unlike you you whore.
Its quite simple really,women think they have the power today with all this (girl power) 90,s shit but they dont.I am English and just look what happens when you have a woman in power…margeret thatcher…she fucked Enland up big style and forever..thats what happens when you have a woman who thinks shes intelligent in power…I have to say that im a bi-polar person who suffers from extreme bouts of deppression but ive been reading this stuff on this site and fuck me its made my year let alone my day,,,it really is true that women are whores and that they only view men as bank accounts and a money machine….rock on dick you rule.
Engine muffler - El Dorado Jones 1917
Kevlar, a steel-like fiber used in radial tires, crash helmets, and bulletproof vests -Stephanie Kwolek 1966
Samuel Miller obtained a patent in 1777 for a saw WINDMILL. However the specification for this only mentions the form of the saw incidentally, probably indicating that it was not his invention.
I did look this up you moron. You can find an extended list with plenty more women and their inventions on a dozen different sites including factmonster.com
And by the way, I got excellent grades in school. So maybe you should be the one taking ten seconds to look this up before spouting out untrue bullshit.
Casimir Zeglen (a man) invented a bullet resistant cloth at the end of the 19th century.
Hiram Percy Maxim (a Man) invented the muffler in 1909.
As for the circular saw Im assuming you are referring to Tabitha Babbit appling for a patent in 1813. However, Walter Taylor had pictures with circular saws in his saw mill in 1762. So, obviously Tabitha did not invent the circular saw. It is more likely that it originated in the 1600’s in Holland.
As for the Fire Escape that’s the only one you got right in your absurd accusations.
Good JOB!!! That’s 25% correct!! I’m sure you get good grades in school.
I love how people don’t spend 10 seconds to look something up for themselves and spout out untrue bullshit because they heard someone say it.
Wow man,
The tv show of yours, cross over the ocean. I just don’t understand you! Ill will remember you that your own mother is a female.
In Holland, the most scientists, doctors ( the most medical students are femail), politics and so an are femail! The work situation of woman’s is not the only thing she take care about. Besides working she takes care of the children and family (she is not the only one on the planet, and she knows!).
Il hope that you can open your eyes in this world, it is possible that you are able to find love and happiness. (With a woman, or man)
PS
8. Women are racists ???
And what are you?
5. Jesus was a man ,
And Maria?
1. Men have penises
Witch they can use to rape girls (and tell her after words she is a hoer)
7. Men live less than women
A good men don’t!
you’re a dick (no pun intended)
Ugh; I hate baby talk.
FUCK you
lean, it’s the first time u have said something useful, LOL
Dick’s and Idiot Says:
btw, i’m a woman and i am NOT agree of what’s Dick’s and Idiot Says.
woman and man live to support each other
ooh. that’s why u hate woman, cause u’re a gay huh??
i shocked when i see u’r DICK,DICK.. it’s ust 6CM long even when u are horny
ooh.. dick, u’re a gay huh??
want me to do a nipple crippler for u??
huh?? dick you rent me for 1 night.. u say u love me..
i konw from the start when u do the blowjob for me.
u’re a liar.
INDEED u are
WHAT?? you say you only love me DICK!!! U FUCKING LIAR!!!!!
dick.. thanks last night, u’re a great gay..!!!
Right, men are missing parts. That’s why women bleed 2 to 4 days a month…oh wait.
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
-i know men that talk more than women do…do you want their numbers incase you want to date?
9. Men are not sponges
-you don’t even clarify this point. A sponge is something that soaks things up, so basically you are saying that men are idiots because they cant soak up any information. Some women do conform to how society wants them, but the reason society is the way it is is because of men like you. So some women conform, but those that don’t conform change the world!
8. Women are racists
-so black women hate other black people? or Asians? or any other races? Yeah that makes sense, oh wait no it doesn’t
7. Men live less than women
-I like this part, because that means less men like you on our earth…so when do you think you will die?
6. Men write illegibly
-Men are much smarter because they don’t know how to write? Oxymoron! Think of all the famous men and women writers! Not to mention you wrote a fucking book you idiot! That makes you a moron!
5. Jesus was a man
-Is this seriously a reason? God is often depicted as a women so pretty much a woman rules all…hmmm
4. Men wear watches
-so the women that wear watches are what? My mom and her mom and her mom all wear watches. I know more guys that wear bracelets than watches, so are they women?
3. Boys destroy things
-How is this a good thing? Our earth is dying because boys destroy things. If you, as a boy, rip down all the trees in the world and build power plants you will die from no oxygen that those trees give off. Good plan, sounds like destroying things is working so far with our global warming and what not.
2. Marriage is stupid
-agreed, marriage is stupid. But i think you need to re-check you history, it was not a woman’s idea to have marriage, sorry it was a man that decided that
1. Men have penises
-making it easier to hurt men! How does having an extra body part make you superior. If thats the case women should be superior because men don’t have a uterus or a vagina? Men are missing women parts so women must be superior then…
I totally agree in rule 6 when you say: “Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate.”
Wait a second, didn’t you WRITE A FATASS BOOK? Way to contradict yourself dip shit
Not the worldly type.