Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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October 26th, 2006 at 10:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 01ba0fc07f53a
Yeah Sos I knew a woman who was always startign shit and she would say “Yeah men have no integrity.” This same stupid bitch married for the 5th time to some poor loner. She use to boast about screwing around on every husbnad.
I really wanted to beat her when she opened her stupid mouth but it is better just to laugh at stupidty.
October 28th, 2006 at 3:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1d8c473360851
Why are women such bad drivers?
because there is no road from the kitchen to the bedroom.
And to you are a fucker
women have a better memory because they hold grudges, women always have something to bitch about. we are attracting women to this site so we can find out even more ways of how retarted you really are
October 28th, 2006 at 4:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0363c503d25ea
good pt. women tend to hold grudges. hah, grudges… they’re pretty ridiculous. maybe im just too lazy to stay mad. but staying mad, i believe, is useless.
October 29th, 2006 at 12:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 097f2a99add7a
Yes grudges are useless but so are most women.
October 29th, 2006 at 7:19 am - IP Man-Hash: 2417af6c97941
Cunts like this actively look for men with no integrity like whorporate workers, politicians, and people in the entertainment industry. It’s because they have no integrity themselves so rather than submitting to a man with honor and learning through him how to be a good human being, they just stick with dirtbags. Scum sticks together and floats to the top.
October 29th, 2006 at 7:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a66d10276b0f
women have proved over and over again they have shit for brains and memory, the first thing you ladies saw when you came here was no women allowed. and yet you all persist.
poor dumb women get ready for a few thousand more years of dishes.
October 29th, 2006 at 2:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8984204f5d8fc
Is this site a joke?
No, really.
October 29th, 2006 at 2:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
No. Really.
October 29th, 2006 at 2:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 24a708eca6810
About as much of a joke as “Women’s Rights”
October 29th, 2006 at 4:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
not stupidity. just the whole “rebellious by nature” thing. i guess we are all stuck in “teenage” mode. hmm-
October 30th, 2006 at 2:22 am - IP Man-Hash: c7b6f143da393
retarted eh? a point well made
this site is truly hilarious
you poor men, its so hard, women are mean to you and sometimes you just need a little sulk
wouldn’t you enjoy life more if you were out living it instead of whining?
be a man and get over it!
October 30th, 2006 at 2:41 am - IP Man-Hash: c7b6f143da393
you hate women, yet many of you have a wife or girlfriend? make up your mind!
October 30th, 2006 at 11:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f0331adb6577
haha you are the 9999th person to say that. For the last time, Men are better than women is what the site states. It does not mean we hate women, it means we are taking steps to open men’s eyes to the farce that feminism is.
October 30th, 2006 at 2:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: bdbed41150a29
The poor dears find it very difficult to realise that most males out there don’t worship the ground you waddle on.
The standard defensive reaction from women when they are finally told the truth.
Suffering from princess priviledge skankitis, commonly detectable by the bitch stamp(tattoo) on their back and or the ” we wommin are victims, so there” delusions.
October 30th, 2006 at 8:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a66d10276b0f
not stupidity. just the whole “rebellious by nature” thing. i guess we are all stuck in “teenage” mode. hmm-
- this comming from a cockwarmer.
i happen to like teenage mode so suck my balls you fucking ballwasher.
or get in the kitchen and do something worthwile.
October 30th, 2006 at 11:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 48a93e65f6c79
ya’ll are so fucking dumb. You think men are better because you have penises? at least I can orgasm about 5 times more intensely than your dull-nerved penises can you cum vomiting bastards :-p WOMEN RULE
October 31st, 2006 at 1:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Enough with the pleasantries. Get a room.
October 31st, 2006 at 1:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f0331adb6577
haha you stupid hoe
October 31st, 2006 at 4:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Yes, and we’re quite correct. You’re dumb because you can’t follow simple instructions, such as NO WOMEN ALLOWED, you silly cow.
You are lying. If you really can orgasm, then explain to me why it is that women hate sex. You only have sex for material, thus you are nothing but a filthy whore.
You cum guzzling prostitute! No Women Allowed; now that’s a rule you women should follow … so you can just fuck off this website!
October 31st, 2006 at 8:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 84f7c5452f5d2
How immature. Typical.
-Strength and Honor-