Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
Note: If you would like to link to this article from your website or MySpace page, use the following code:
Related Articles:
March 6th, 2007 at 4:42 am - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
No you missed your turn for the gaysite>>> Its next door at the NOW club.
P.S. We make doormats out of Moosehide. Would you be interested in becoming a doormat or how about just fucking off to the NoW club!
Eeverlast - Goodbye
March 6th, 2007 at 4:44 am - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
I’m sure beyer hates you too!
March 6th, 2007 at 6:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 422940479a69d
I don’t think she even knew what she wrote. Just looked at previous comments by women, then made it into something which looked like her own stuff. No we are not all gay, and if we were, so what? Does it matter?
Oh right you’re a women so you probably have something against gays. My mistake.
March 6th, 2007 at 8:19 am - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
Well the little girls seem to believe that all men think with their dicks since that is what they ae told from fisrt grade on up and all cunts should have no problem telling a dick thinking man what to do.
Since we don’t drool over her nor care what she thinks then her robot programming kicks in a response.
A. Must be gay or
B. Some girl broke his heart
C. Mother must have abuse him
D. Must have small penis
Notice the patern.. Always A first and down the line.
It’s really simple robotics.
Gary Jules - Mad World
March 6th, 2007 at 8:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 6597403bb0b5b
Agreed. Also, I love that song.
March 6th, 2007 at 9:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 37c7a53deed0d
For the sake of women, let’s just say that I, a man, am fat. I fucking reek of tampon odor. My ex-girlfriend dumped me so I turned gay. My mother kicked my ass as a kid. My dick is so small that it needs steroids by itself. And I’m a cunt.
If any of that were true, the Feminazi would come cowering from everywhere like vultures on a corpse, such as jacquie, shorty, and alison, claiming some sort of victory and wanting to throw a damn parade about it. You 3 are prime examples of why whenever the truth is told, men rule, and why dumb and sloppy women like you will be kissing ass.
March 6th, 2007 at 1:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: cfe3c607a0356
oi loser my name is spelt jacqui
and if you do have a tiny dick then im not gonna pay you out about it..
get a life and stop bagging on women.
March 6th, 2007 at 1:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 73f9de907ea55
oi loser my name is spelt jacqui
and if you do have a tiny dick then im not gonna pay you out about it..
get a life and stop bagging on women.
He was saying hypothetically you cunt stupid bitch.
March 6th, 2007 at 1:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1ba2b0b094ad7
I’m sure beyer hates you too!
no he doesnt. it pretty clearly says he loves me.
March 6th, 2007 at 5:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
Yes Allison a 14 year old can only concentrate on one thing for now.
go boy go
but don’t forget those galoshes!!!
March 6th, 2007 at 9:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: cfe3c607a0356
oi loser my name is spelt jacqui
and if you do have a tiny dick then im not gonna pay you out about it..
get a life and stop bagging on women.
He was saying hypothetically you cunt stupid bitch.
im not a cunt stupid bitch lol.
dude you dont even know me..and i dont wanna know you.
this website is bullshit.
later.
March 6th, 2007 at 11:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
And you wreak with the smell of bullshit.
Good riddance ya roddent.
March 7th, 2007 at 1:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Jacqui is dimwittedness and vanity harmoniously intertwined.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 6597403bb0b5b
You’re not leaving fast enough!
March 7th, 2007 at 8:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
Amazing! Even with the simple signs and pointing them out the door women just simply refuse to try and make someone happy.
It’s just their nature to bring misery to the world.
March 7th, 2007 at 10:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9982ab940f782
oi loser my name is spelt jacqui
and if you do have a tiny dick then im not gonna pay you out about it..
get a life and stop bagging on women.
He was saying hypothetically you cunt stupid bitch.
im not a cunt stupid bitch lol.
dude you dont even know me..and i dont wanna know you.
this website is bullshit.
later.
I know you your a whore. I got a dollar?
March 8th, 2007 at 4:24 am - IP Man-Hash: ed05e33fe8d2c
I can say with 100% certainty that the people who made this aren’t gay. Being married to a woman is so frustrating, but as you’re a woman you wouldn’t know that! (unless you were gay)
Great site guys,
Rob
March 8th, 2007 at 4:30 am - IP Man-Hash: ed05e33fe8d2c
/me can’t stand the way the women who post on this site insist on having the final word. Just more proof that they have Tourette Syndrome…. shut up and go on an overseas trip so us men don’t have to put up with bull shit nagging!
March 8th, 2007 at 10:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 0c9244518fcce
Agreed, Rob. It’s embarrassing.
-Dick
March 9th, 2007 at 10:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8fa54b51fdf01
why all the hate toward women?
if you treat someone like shit, theyre gonna act like shit.
if you have this idea in your head that women are shit, well they’ll act like it.
sigh, why do men make it so hard to have normal relatioships with their dumb preconseptions