Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
Note: If you would like to link to this article from your website or MySpace page, use the following code:
Related Articles:
Pages: « 355 … 290 289 288 287 286 [285] 284 283 282 281 280 … 1 » Show All
Gee, you guys are cool, you have nothing else on us normal people so you make up your own payout. Manhole. I’d be ashamed of myself if my payout to people was manhole. I mean seriously, you said it means a man who supports a womans materialistic excesses, that does not offend me at all, especially since I know that you are a supporter of this loser who goes by the name of Dick (which sums him up quite well) which means you probably own his book, also a computer which you are using to post on here, and you are saying you do not have materialistic excesses? There is no point in posting on here, it is like talking to a brick wall, except a brick wall is more interesting, and intelligent. I will continue to post on here though, just to annoy you all :)
alicia check your emails please
no manhole, you are an asshole, do you really think women like men who think they are pointless and unworthy of men?
if that is the case, enjoy you lonely life
Yes that is the message I send them, although they had this message before I met them. Well you accuse me of being a liar but you say that ’sure there are woman like this.’ Perhaps, did you ever think I am one of them? I believe it is not possible also that you could have dated every women in the world to know that each needs a man who is dominant, earns higher pay. The world is changing, and I don’t know why you men chose to ignore it. Women are becomming stronger, and don’t need men to support them. You are so wrong to believe ‘most woman’ want a man who recieves higher pay and is smarter. Just because you have penises, does not mean you simply become dominant. Get a clue, just because you have SELECTED to date woman who need you to be dominant, does not mean the rest of us need that. In fact, we much prefer it to be equal.
Alicia: you pat Luke and Dan on the back for being “good boys” and say that they could be called equals to you. And so the message you send them is that a man acting as an equal to a woman is correct, and this is what a woman will be attracted to : a man that treats a woman as an equal is sexy.
Well, when I was young, I was fooled in to thinking this. Sure, there are a few woman who want a man that is a true equal. Instead, what I find is that most women want is a man that is clearly dominant: makes higher pay than her, is smarter than her, is more aggressive than her, etc.
So I feel when you pat your “boys” and imply they are equals, you are really lying, if you reflect how most women feel. Men are equals to women when equality applies to the laws on the books (and the don’t, especially when it comes to divorce laws) and when a woman can find a man of similar abilities and skills sexually attractive. I fell you are promoting a lie, and quite possibly living a lie. And maybe Luke and Dan will believe the lie as well.
BTW, a “manhole” is what author Rich Zubaty calls a man who supports womens materialistic excesses. “Doubt” defines it differently.
my comments arnt showing… if you can see them thats great BUT I CANT LOL!!!
WOW! Really, that’s brilliant! The black one you wanted?
Excellent, how much did it cost you in the end?
I will do that! Sounds smart to me. Oh I’m in no doubt. Not concerning these amusing individuals.
ALICIA!!!
MY GUITAR HAS BEEN ORDERED AND COMES IN EARLY NEXT WEEK!!
OMG!!!! IM SO EXCITED!!!
alicia, who cares what they think, simple shake your head and follow my moto…
when in doubt, SPAM!
Just another point? If you can possibly find it up your sleeve, bring in the use of a smart payout or actually something to say to my previous writings….I didn’t know the word ‘manhole’ actually was offensive to anyone. And it completely let’s me know how much intelligence you really do have. Smart guy you are
wait…one moment…did I read this comment from you, ‘no manhole,’ properly?
“These manholes sure do waste a lot of time trolling this site; talk about having no life, the world’s dullest basement dweller has an up on these faggots.
The vocal minority thinks it’s all high and mighty. I’ll tell you what, when there are more lists of rape jokes than sites bitching about rape jokes, I’ll listen. Until then, you’re just an overpriced fuckhole.”
You are…accusing me of having no life for commenting a webpage with a well written piece? That’s funny, I may have no life, even though I am only commenting on a forum, something that all the rest of the millions of the other men on here, including you, are doing. Get your facts straight, you cannot possibly accuse me of ‘having no life’ when you are doing exactly the same thing. Nor does it absoloutly kill me that you believe I have no life - when I know for certain I have an incredible life compared to you.
It’s creepy that you want to know. Perhaps, they actually are decent. I don’t know if you knew that was possible, but there are men who are decent, not many though. Have you noticed that you have not been able to bring up any good arguments to either of our comments? You are lost for words because you realise you are actually worth nothing, and you will never be loved. But that’s ok, ‘nomanhole,’ you always have your penis.
Gee Alicia, Dan and Luke do your biding so well, and they boble their heads to everything you say, so in no way could you ever be sexually attracted to them. And that’s a part of the problem.
Luke, how are you going?
Nice point you made, your comment was fantastic. The funny thing is, they are stuck for words, and you can tell that because all ‘Doubt’ could say was that we were ‘manholes,’ which is interesting because last time i checked, i was not. :D Your doing a brilliant job Luke, Weldone. It’s men like you and Dan who are actually worthy and could definately be labelled as equal to woman. Luke and Dan, you guys can actually be labelled as ‘value,’ which is something the majority of the other men on this site, including Dick, can not.
i think i got my point across…
later losers…
you all suck
damn, in the preview it worked… font size was set to 200 and it was a big “sexist pigs”
i wonder if this will work…
worth a try…
SEXTIST PIGS
sexist pigs