Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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its a guys opinion.let them think what they want.
so stop bitching an moaning about dykes and sexism
its never going to go away.
@studioline
In many parts of the world you already can.
Just look at the manholes posting here. They’re afraid because this isn’t an information-age phenomenon limited only to literature - this is a real-world phenomenon. They’re going to have to pay for the feminist dystopia they created - every dollar wasted producing heels, whore paint, incarcerating a man - they’ll have to pay every last cent back one way or another.
It’s just a matter of how directly the reparations will be. They could be as direct as mandatory front-line military service - which could happen through some well-placed bills; or as indirect as a gradual shift of the economy from ignorant waste to practical taste. You know, all pants being $5 each and durable, shirts being $10 for a pack of 10 and once again not falling apart in the wash, an eager supply of high-profile cheap firearms (concealed weapons are dangerous and womanly outside of law enforcement and military service - better to sling a rifle around your shoulder and flip off those out of sight, out of mind faggot housewives), less hunting restrictions, etc.
The one and only reason why women bitch is their incompetence about men. And I understand why they are so mad about it, cos feminism was supposed to give them that power of competence when if fact it only completly missinformed them, so now they are screwed.
ya… wemon dont even fight in wars, the ones who actualy join the military sit behind desks or become nurses.
@ Doubt
Like some years ago I felt I was the only men thinking there is something wrong with the picture I saw in front of my eyes. Im so happy now. Im excited to see where this all is going to go. I hope one day we men will be able to say things like this not only in the net but also in real world. That would be a great day.
And manholes wonder why men will move overseas to avoid them.
I am Glad I’m A Man
I am glad I’m a man, you’d better believe; I can’t live off blow, wine coolers, or cottage cheese.
I can not gripe to my manholes about the size of my tits; bitch all you want - I’m long immune to your shit.
I can not get wasted after 2 beers and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears.
I can not spend hours deciding what to wear; I waste 5 gallons max fixing my hair.
I can not go around checking my reflection in everything shiny from every direction.
I am not a coward waiting to sting; I can not cry in wait for some ring.
I can not gossip about friends or stab them in the back; I can not carry our differences into the sack.
I can never go psycho and threaten to kill you or care that every guy has already screwed you.
I’m rational, reasonable, and logical too; I know the time and I know what to do.
I feel that it is a privilege for me to have this great bod and stand when I pee.
Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure; I can not assume you are permanent by any measure.
I am a man by chance and I’m thankful it’s true; thank God I can not be a manhole like you.
DDA wont work here, don’t bother.
I honestly would, but I don’t really care to find out where to send it, and I don’t plan to invite you over, as you’d probably rape me.
But if you can find a happy medium, I’d be glad to send you the results.
Those ’studies’ as you call them, are simply the delusion fantasies cooked up by oh-so-many politicians. You’ll notice that you never quite find out WHO is doing these violent studies; That’s mainly because they’re simply paid off bullshit.
Now, we finally got SCIENTISTS doing a study, and lo-and-behold, the inverse is found true.
Why not do YOUR research, hmm?
And as for the sexism in the workplace, if it’s such a prominent crime…..
Find another job that doesn’t.
Not that hard.
Hahaha.
To the men: Good on those of you that have a good sense of humor. To hell with those of you that are, like the women, taking this seriously.
To the women: Stop taking this seriously, and don’t spout some “women’s rights” bullshit at me. I don’t really care whether or not you want more rights, and who is correct about the “gender discrimination” topic that has been brought up… but for Christ’s sake, do you honestly think you have any influence over the “issue” on a goddamn internet forum?
Want to go change the world? Do it. But don’t sit around pretending to be righteous in front of a computer screen as if it will have any effect on the world around you.
Have a nice day.
-Logicality
This is a really good example of the fact that men generally have a way better sense of humour than women!
(Sorry Ladies, but we all know it’s true!)
xXx
wow.. id hate to be you!
:)
Haha yup. This author is onto something, especially #1-10. All valid points. Amen brotha. Women need to know their role.
Men wear watches. I am wearing a watch. I am a woman.
Fuck. Something must be wrong. It must be the opinion of this Dick person. The fact that he calls himself Dick is just funny in itself.
Who ever said you were a genius? Show me the IQ test that you took and scored on. Otherwise, don’t make the assumption that you are, in fact, a genius. Michelle Einstein is very displeased. *spits and kicks dust*
If you’re going to deliver a snappy comeback, at least make sure your facts are straight.
1. There have been studies proving that children who play violent video games are, well, more violent.
2. Obviously, men sometimes do get paid more than women based purely on sex. Why would the U.S.A. have laws against it if those shit-nuggets only based pay on actual productive habits?
My ‘This-Is-Not-A-Woman’ detector is beeping.
If you somehow manage to get a wife, tell that to her and see what she thinks. Have fun showing off that hand-shaped red mark to all your man friends.
Are you fucking shitting me? There’s probably a 10,000:1 ratio when it comes to women in the military.
Honestly I’m so sick of these fucking dykes with their “Girl Power!” Bullshit. It’s perfectly fucking fine for them to be proud of them being women, but when us men are proud of being men it’s wrong and horrible.
All these feminist bitches are so fucking retarded “Women are just as good as men and we should be payed equally!” Bull fucking shit. Men are smarter, stronger and have more endurance. Why shouldn’t men get paid more than women if they are more prouctive? And employers don’t have to worry about their male workers having to take maternity leave.
LOL! I’m a female and I find this all very FUNNY!! There has to be a site out there that rags on men to so, all the women who are insulted by this: Get a life and find something else to be pissed off about! There are better things in life to do. Like go getting your man a cold beer!!