Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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Because society protects women and children first. Remember the Titanic?
Not only are there more homeless men than women, men also do the most dangerous an ungrateful work and have the highest suicide rate (particularly divorced fathers).
Do you think this would be tolerated if it was the other way around? If almost 4 times more women killed themselves than men? It would be all over the Oprah bloody Winfrey show!
Women complain about oppression, but it’s common men who have been oppressed more than anybody else. They are the ones to be used as cannon fodder, beasts of burden and, more recently, scapegoats for everything that’s wrong in the world.
Not that we are asking for your sympathy. We’re just telling you the TRUTH.
Because welfare gives priority to women and children?
If you so very right and everybody els is wrong, why are most homeless people MEN? I’m not dissing my own gender but as far as I’m concerned, woman are equal and some, maby even better than men. They care more about their looks and their clothes but who cares. They do that for men. this world wouldnt survive 100 years without woman and you make it sound like this world would be better without them. Were both in this world and none of us can survive without the other. deal with it. we might as well live in peace becouse were going to be together forever. no matter what and no matter how long forever is.
The laws of thermodynamics predicts the assembly of larger molecules from atoms, often times driven by an outside source of energy–the sun.
We cannot make beings from atoms because it is extremely complicated–your asking the limited abilities of humans to do as well as what was accomplished in 3.5 billion years of natural evolution–that’s a tough act to follow.
So, IMO, I think the assembly of the earth 4.5 Billions yrs ago and the evolution of species on it are satisfactory explained by science, without the need of some kind of vitalism or god.
However, what caused all the matter in the universe to be assembled together for the big bang is something I cannot fathom–to me, this seems to break the laws of thermodyamics.
yes because the whole adam and eve thing is a valid FACT!
believing in the bible is like worshiping what little red riding hood says.
It’s a fairy tail…nothing more.
idiot…
*
Here’s where manly things such as logic come into play:
Ever look up the chemical position of a human body, specifically the elemental composition that is found in human beings?
Here’s a little hint:
Elemental Composition of Human Body ( reductionism )
Oxygen 65.0
Carbon 18.5
Hydrogen 9.5
Nitrogen 3.3
Calcium 1.5
Phosphorus 1.0
Potassium 0.4
Sulfur 0.3
Sodium 0.2
Chlorine 0.2
Magnesium 0.1
Trace Elements
together
less than 0.1%
boron (B), chromium (Cr), cobalt (Co), copper (Cu), Fluorine (F), iodine (I), iron (Fe), manganese (Mn), molybdenum (Mo), selenium (Se), silicon (Si), tin(Sn), vanadium(V), & zinc(Zn).
Now, if humans are SOOO easy to make, why can’t scientists create a human being using just the elements mentioned above?
Why can’t animals be created using just the elements?
Why is the ONLY way species keep appearing is through reproduction? Who created the original species?
Can you logically explain how the chemicals combined in such as way as to give humanity the ability to use logic and reason?
Why are humans the only group to really be able to use logic?
As for the Bible, how many ‘fairy tails’ knew that the world was round, had standards for keeping disease free, what type of animals to avoid so as to avoid diseases WAY before science discovered it and told the good and bad of humankind, including the errors and mistakes?
Nice attempt, but logic says that your argument is more emotional and therefore easily debunked.
Deathslayer
your welcome
Give me some tail then, fairy.
Yeah, that’s how it works. You start a war and bomb other people’s cities, and then when they fight back and start bombing YOUR cities, you say: Oh no, we don’t need all this hatred in our culture.
I’m going to counter your rational and well thought-out argument with a rant that does nothing but confirm all the stereotypes attributed to women by Dick Masterson. Also, I’m a heathen piece of shit.
Signed,
Stupid Bitch.
I don’t know but I’m a women and I LOVE this guy XD
Most of it is milked bs lol but STILL.
HES FUCKING AMAZING >=D
yes because the whole adam and eve thing is a valid FACT!
believing in the bible is like worshiping what little red riding hood says.
It’s a fairy tail…nothing more.
idiot…
Both men and women depend on the other. Whats the point on saying that men are better when its really just an unproved opinion trying to become a fact. Seriously people, lets not waste our logic on an unfufilling task and actually use it to benefit our lives and future generations.
Interesting. We have to all admit at some point, the world itself is sexist in ways where we believe one gender benefits more for the other. Even the laws I would have to admit always seem to lean towards females. Yet in society today everything is based on masculine ideas.
“Working for the man” it’s such a common saying that you can ask someone on the street and they won’t even think sexist of it. It is pointless arguing on over which is the better gender since neither are. Dick might have pointed out some believeable doctrines but if we reversed this and had done it with a women it would have had the same result. Seriously, if you think of it, it truly depends on what you’ve been through life of how you view things. Being a female myself I’m not going to go on of how Dick must be gay or has a small penis to only make it seem he is right and I’m trying to defend myself. I’ll admit women have defaults but we all do, both men and women.
How hard is it for us to understand that in the end we can’t end up announcing to the world that someone is lesser than the other without killing each other in the end. Even if guys are less flawed, does it truly matter since in the end you’re screwed if women die? You’re going to have say it sometime to yourself. At least give thanks to women for developing the future generations we have today and continuing this reproducing process. Even if the generations turned out to be terriosts, men have just as much chance to yield the same result. Many might say this is untrue but in the end we all know it is just as possible.
Even though I do believe neither are better than the other or equal I admire Dick for stating his mind so freely with the knowledge of how tainted the world is towards each other. Congrats for that but I just dislike how its only the negative side of women, we already have enough sterotyping as it is and more won’t make the world a better place. Maybe open the eyes to possiblities but in the end you’re making it more impossible for us to even trust our fellow human being.
Separation will only lead to our ultimate downfall.
a male sheep is called a ram. On a side note, its sad to hear people calling women sluts and whores and cunts. Why? I dont know, maybe because you guys are a little too riled up. Regardless of whether or not this is satire, the author is inspiring a lot of malice in young and impressionable minds. I don’t think we need anymore hatred in our culture.
Without women to carry the men in their wombs, the men would not be on this earth to create ridiculous sites like these,
*
Without the rib being taken from Adam, women wouldn’t even exist.
further proving their immaturity.
*
As compared to what, the maturity level of women today?
Women don’t have to prove that their better than men by creating websites and posting blogs and going on television to keep validating their thoughts. The fact that they keep to themselves is proof enough.
*
There are FIVE times as many sites where women proclaim they are equal to or better than men and where the women hate men more than women.
Also, ever heard of the ‘Lifetime Channel’, Oxygen, WE—Whining Entitlement, Ms. magazine and majority of the supermarket magazines?
Why is ‘Women’s Studies’ a college course and a section in a bookstore and never a ‘Men’s Studies’?
Why is N.O.W. still complaining about not being equal if women keep to themselves so much?
Keep trying to disprove a point made on this board….watching you fail is good target practice for men.
Deathslayer
You gotta be shitting me.
Without women to carry the men in their wombs, the men would not be on this earth to create ridiculous sites like these, further proving their immaturity. Women don’t have to prove that their better than men by creating websites and posting blogs and going on television to keep validating their thoughts. The fact that they keep to themselves is proof enough.
It’s always amusing to watch women work so hard to validate themselves to the men here. Let’ see, what significant arguments have they brought up…
-penis size
-inability to get laid
-lack of respect for mothers
-Marie Curie
-bitterness, anger, hatred, in short emotional logic
-comparison to evil entities
-homosexuality
-committing horrible crimes
Now, what does all of that prove- that despite all of their feelings, men have STILL been able to advance society and daily keep improving it.
What are women still doing?
Trying to be EQUAL to men in worthless pursuits. So you get an ‘education’…do you have a job in the field you studied in?
So you can get a man when you’re young and firm…so why are SO many women alone and telling the world they are happy when they are not? Women are getting fatter, having fewer children, more depressed and violent as they keep trying to equal men. Men however are becoming happier, enjoying life, refusing to marry women and getting the benefits without the work.
Women told the world they wanted to be equal to men.
Men said Ok.
Men were then freed to do anything for women except use them for sex.
Men now can get sex easier and leave the women with the problems.
Men can still work and do all the things women can’t and won’t do.
So, women are more stressed, men are much happier. Women have less power, are more objectified, angrier, more violent, depressed, suicidal, attention whoring sperm dumpsters and men are just laughing all the way to the bank.
Men have proven themselves to outclass women. All women can do is look and moan and lament not being even close to men. We know their minds, how to manipulate them and how to even get by without them.
All they can counter with is gay jokes and attacks. Sad.
Even gay men are doing better than them.
Look at the roaring of women and laugh, for it is a kitten yelling through a megaphone. All sound, all fury, no power.
That’s why Dick doesn’t ban you…you are proof positive he is right and that you are still less than a man. History shows it, science shoes it, and you show it. Each time you post and attack, you admit woman < man.
Keep yelling it ladies…I am less than a man…I am less than a man…I am less than a man…
See, I’ve just given you some ammo to make a shaming tactic or an insult…men are so awesome we can even throw crumbs to you to watch you gobble them up. Enjoy.
Deathslayer
LOL
None of the above: he’s got a small penis. It’s amazing you missed that.