Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
Note: If you would like to link to this article from your website or MySpace page, use the following code:
Related Articles:
Pages: « 365 … 328 327 326 325 324 [323] 322 321 320 319 318 … 1 » Show All
” Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors”
did you now a woman invented the atom bomb? apparently women are ‘natural destructors’too. even though theres nothing natural about nuclear power.
case in point.
Shut up and show us your tits.
Well, there’s really NO real pieces of evidence for the majority (or all) articles I’ve read here so far. The list just proved it so. The points given were humorous, but will remain humorous but not as facts. Perhaps as opinions, but not as facts because there’s no real basis, or at least the IMPLICATION has no real basis like Jesus, haha.
Being able to spell isn’t funny. It’s mantastic.
You know what else is mantastic? Being able to think logically and not derail every discussion into emotional shitstorms. That’s called “thinking with your penis”, or pthinking as I like to term it.
I pthink you need to take a heavy dose of “shut the hell up”.
ohhh, so you’re trying to be playful and hence funny…I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. You know what is funny though? The fact that you need to put your response into Microsoft word spellcheck to make sure the word cunt is spelled correctly and then proofread the response to make sure its grammatically correct and the commas are in the right place.
You post this again to fix a typo?
I’m afraid you’re going to have to post this a third time then, because you still missed a lot of capitals.
This board is more playful than a regular forum. That’s why any kind of response is valid. Responding to a typo can be a good way of saying that you don’t deem the comment worthy of a reasoned response. Sometimes a spelling error can also be meaningful. For instance when a commenter says she’s more intelligent than you are, but misspells the word ‘intelligent’. That’s funny.
have you ever notice that when someone has a typo or an error in their posting, that overshadows their argument? this is the tenth or eleventh time that I’ve seen people refer to the misspelling or the technical mistake but not the argument the other person posed….and then promptly call the person names. Way to address the issue at hand! Well done!
have you ever notice that when someone has a typo or an error in their posting, that overshadows their argument? this is the tenth or eleventh time that I’ve seen people refer to the misspelling or the technical mistake but not the argument the other person posed….and then promptly call the person names. Way to address the issueat hand! Well done!
‘cal’ me whatever you like, baboon-brain.
Yup! Excellent. You cunts are starting to get it now.
WANNA BET?????
“Sleeping around” whenever you feel like it doesn’t make a woman a “whore”, you stupid bitch.
A WHORE –>> IS A WOMAN WHO WITHHOLDS SEX UNTIL (OR PROVIDES IT WHEN) A CONDITION HAS BEEN MET, OR PAYMENT HAS BEEN MADE.
Understand?? Why don’t you open YOUR eyes, fucktard.
• “I will not have sex until at least the 10th date” = WHORE.
(Intentionally going into a relationship with a plan to be UNFULFILLING)
• “I will not have sex until he tells me he loves me” = WHORE.
(women sets price for sex - man will easily pay it with a LIE)
Even women who have NEVER HAD SEX are whores by their own admission . . . .
• “I will not have sex until he purchases a whopping diamond, and makes a promise to god for life until death” = WHORE.
(thats the biggest price a man can possibly pay)
No such thing. ”
Feelings” have nothing to with intellect or intelligence. Emotions are just the most addictive chemicals anywhere. They don’t need to be there to make SMART decisions. . . . in fact, its striongly preferred that you keep you emotions OUT OF IT.
Emotional decision to sell your hour at the bottom of the market is NOT SMART. . . . neither is getting married because of the way a man FEELS about her.
The only time “Emotional intelligence” exists, is when her woman’s spreads her legs because a guy told her exactly what he wanted to hear . . . . because she asked him to.
You girls keep doing that. . . . .
Its the cheapest whore sex anywhere.
Lol, no you’re stupid because you can’t spell.
So… You’re saying if two thirteen year old BOYS were murdered brutally they wouldn’t have it on the news? I completely disagree. They don’t just have stories about women on the news. I’m sorry… but I’m going to have to cal you a complete idiot. You tried to make a point about something completely ludicrous .
EVERYBODY ELSE –>> IS wrong.
MOST of the world’s population believes in a “GOD” of some kind, but the odds that there actually IS one, are practically zero.
There are more cockroaches in the world than there are people.
…But that doesn’t mean THE COCKROACHES are the one’s who KNOW what’s REALLY going on…. and it certainly doesn’t mean COCKROACHES are a superior breed.
Think about it.
Most of the MEN here - Dick himself included - are PROUD FREE THINKERS who have made up their OWN minds about the way things (and women) REALLY ARE —>> FOR A REASON.
In order to be able to contruct an original thought and express it, and enjoy they MOST that life has to offer . . . you cannot afford to subscribe to the mentality that OTHERS WOULD RATHER HAVE YOU BELIEVE.
When a MAN gives himself chance to PAUSE and make up his OWN mind,
That’s when he will have a moment of CLARITY.
OR . . . .
A man can live a life of women making up his mind FOR him.
Those are his choices.
Now I have to admit and the beginning of this reply I was agreeing with this man about how immature some of these women are being as stated above. But as I read on of course being a female I became infuriated. But then I ask myself why? There is no male < female or female < male. There is however Person < person. And there are points on this website that I 100% agree with. And some.. not. You can’t stereotype every single female as the same nor can you stereotype every male the same. Just my opinion.
I see you messed up the quote, were your hands trembling with excitement?
lindsay lohan, is that you?
wow..im SOO ’stupid’ - itz all because im a woman!! omfg god really intended women to be whores now did he(i just called god HE haha) well open your eyes fuckhead, not every fuckin woman you see is a whore/golddigga ok? im a woman and i dont go sleeping round eevrywhere and i dont use my bf for money when we go out we pay half each. oh yeah and you say that our emotions cloud our judgement? well im gonna say it again open your eyes fuckhead. you never heard of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE..er..yeah emotional INTELLIGENCE. well us women do it WAYY better than you - get used to it ok?
rar..you say that us woman cant IGNORE what you guys are saying? well i bet you wont IGNORE this message you div, but if you feel the worked-up desire inside you to write back 2 this message feel free - but that’ll mean your contradicting yourself. just wanted to send this message 2 piss you off anyhowz, your completely right about ONE thing:
adam was created before eve…like a draft piece before its masterpiece XD
oh and btw everything ive said here is one-sided just like the entire bollocks..yep bollocks on this page..im actually not one-sided..but i did it just to piss you off…
anywyz im off this wasted shit bye bye haters..or whatevr you/people/it. is
I agree, marriage is stupid.
But you actually believe in Jesus? Wow, you must STILL be in the dark ages. -_-’
And I dare you to say you can read my fucking writing and that I actually like motherfucking PEOPLE.