Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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No need to tell us that you have a small brain if you don’t know the difference between George W. Bush, Adolf Hitler and 19 al-Qaeda terrorists.
Forgive me. I am a woman, therefore I have an extremely small brain. Could you please explain to me how slouching over your computers and bragging about watches benefits society? Oh, sure. Men have done a lot of good in the world. Jesus, for example, really was a fantastic guy. But what do you have to say about the jackass sitting in the White House right now? Or the one with the funny moustache who killed all those Jews, some of whom were men (I shit you not). And what about the guy in desperate need of a shave, who saw fit to fly a plane into the World Trade Centre? THOSE guys certainly didn’t put their man muscles to good use!
I find this all very strange. Could it be that men are just as messed up as women? Well, let’s hope not. Because then the contradictions and absurd generalizations on which this site thrives would be chucked out the window. And we wouldn’t want that now, would we?
That’s feministing.com you’re talking about.
“This site” is simply a way to inflate your own gigantic mantastic egos and conspire against everyone who dares to defy you.
People always think war is fun, until they start losing.
We do. And we don’t like being undermined while we’re keeping the world from spiralling into a gigantic clusterfuck. Hence this site.
If you’re all so fucking mantastic, why don’t you go out and do something productive with your lives?
10 - You research those fucking books, we’ll keep writing them and doing the actual science.
9 - The fact that you are on this website, spewing your shit proves you are an emotional drama vampire waiting to sponge some sort of emotion or a response like this to validate your post’s existence.
8 - Let me spell this out for you. Real racism isn’t the shit they call Don Imus out for for saying “Nappy Head.” Racism is hate. Women by nature hate everything. Popular girls hate nerds for being “different” and also hate that girl at the prom for wearing a dress that is the “same.” Women hate other women for the attention men give them and they hate men for giving the attention. The only time a woman isn’t hating is when they are getting what they want. So if hating other races is Hate, then by nature women are racists because they hate everything.
7 - It’s called entertainment and amusement. You see, women, have a long hard day of shopping for shoes and flaunting their tits, and have to come home and lay on their fat ass and watch Dr. Phil for inspiration and entertainment. Men, however, created the internet so that after a hard day of world changing they can come home, relax, and spread their own ideas instead of regurgitating what they read about in some cheap grocery store tabloid on the phone to fat friends.
6 - And none of them are intelligent enough to match a real doctor, or real cop. At least the ones with penises who don’t have to call for help.
5 - …Jesus was a leader, Joseph was a leader, The “virgin” Mary however, got away with the biggest woman lie of all time.
4 - Noon wake up and shower, 1:00 watch soap opera, 2:00 Cheat on husband with a guy off the internet, 4:00 attempt to clean just enough so he don’t find out , 5:00 Oprah, 6:00 Desperate Housewives, 7:00 Nap, 10:00 eat a jar of Mayonnaise, 11:00 Call fat friends, 12:00 Give husband BJ then raid his wallet after he passes out, 1:00 eat vat of ice cream, 2:00 sleep
3 - Destroying items in the name of progress is different than throwing dishes during a tantrum or destroying marriages by being a whore.
2 - You agreed, however, I know there was the big discussion earlier about pointing out typos and shit, but who the fuck types 3 commas in a row unintentionally?
1 - Penis and Vagina isn’t 50/50. You see, Men enhance their 50% by developing the world and keeping economies and ideas flowing. Women Take their 50% and use it as their only asset to destroy ideas, destroy dreams, and turn the economy into something where people trade things of value and use, to cheap Chinese shit, flowers, and diamonds. Without bachelorette parties, no man would have ever thought to manufacture and sell cheap plastic penis necklaces and low cut t-shirts that say “Bride to be.” That is female stupidity turned into manly profit.
You’ve clearly never read Commander Scott.
ahhhhhhh ok
10- they do, do your research
9- i’m not a fuckin sponge, really get some female friends that are not clones of each other please
8- racism? really? , no no, REALLY?!.
7- so WHAT? MAKE MOST OF YOUR LIFE, instead of this crap
6- i got all sorts of handwritings… i’m laughing here, you pathetic little child
5- jesus was man, maily men dominate as leaders.. so what ? men are meant to protect, women to nourish
4- i wear one too, an i organise my time…. are you following
3- so do girls, u havent met me yet
2- marriage can be…. and i doubt u will get married,,,
1- the world needs a penis an a vagina to continue the human race… so its 50/50 values. motherfucker
im havin so much fun on this website now
anger can really motivate you…
You sir, have uniquivocally voiced the most sound reasoning heard yet on this board. We salute you.
You and Mary Daly should get together.
Masterson’s Manmaster Manificient plan:
If murder was legal, I vouch for the extinction of the female race. Of course, I cannot do it right now because my male life is precious. Here is the plan: Keep the hottest looking 300 females in the world in a prison, and they will be needed to produce men, and the women they produce shall be aborted. Not all women will be aborted, but a large percantage of them. because when the 300 females will get older and die, we will be need a new supply. All men will be kept and raised by future Dick Mastersons. We will have a world of only real men. It is a logical thought. Plus, we will never be deprived of sex because those 300 women will be the hottest and we all men will take turns banging the hot ones. Women are naturally overpowered by men and we can use them. But we need the entire male race to think like Dick Masterson, then this will be accomplished. It is a good idea, highly unlikely though. :(
PS. I wrote to Leykis to promote your book, and you should post a blog to encourage others to do the same.
Peace, brother
Yup. It appears the Manhattan Project, probably the greatest amalgamation of manhood in history is quickly forgotten by feminists. An interesting read is “Who stole feminism” by Chrisitina Hoff Sommers, who has a chapter about how whole chunks of man history are left out of books but may have, instead, a small contribution from a woman. Not to knock what Lise Meitner did, but its easy to see her written up in feminist text book in physics, while the Manhattan project is described in a grey side box occupied mostly by a pic of the bomb going off.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha, two cheers for feminist teachers. Their claims are getting bolder by the day. Anything to boost the poor dear’s ego. What did I tell you, no manhole?
Feminism turned women against their protectors, now the general consensus of men is that women aren’t worth protecting.
Anyone stupid enough to fight over a woman, deserves to win.
Women control more than 83 percent of all consumer purchases, including 66 percent of home computers, and they outpace men when it comes to buying consumer electronics, but they hold only 27 percent of computer-related jobs, according to a study by the National Center for Women & Information Technology.
Just like marriage…they can use it to their advantage but they don’t know how to make it work…
Deathslayer
Man are better than women?
He who is perfect (without fault) let him judge women.
We all have a good side and a bad side regardless of sex, yes we as men can also lie or deceive, steal and even kill, yes we have invented most things and built almost the entire world, but ask yourself this: In most cases and most of the time, Who changed your diaper and fed you when you were not capable? Who takes care of the sick in most hospitals after the doctor performs surgery? Who takes care of the elder in retirement homes? Is it a man or a woman?
Yes man can be better than women in many ways, but not and never in all ways, I also believe man and women are not created equal,,, in some ways I agree with you Dick but also in others I disagree (by the way, I salute you for knowing how to make money, maybe you planned on it or maybe you just got lucky, I bet that if you have a regular job you will quit it very soon or already did, good for you), anyways back to the subject here, for instance not all women are whores, if we believe this than we must also believe that our mothers, sisters, daughters must also be whores, I agree in man taking charge of manly things but I do not agree in bashing or putting down a woman, if your woman lied to you or if she’s a total selfish B**** or she’s a whore, well I have a cure for this, is called “leave her and don’t ever look back”!! if it was your ex, then stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on! If this bad woman is your mom or relative, I guess that’s when you have to put to use the meaning of forgiveness that is if you want to move on, and don’t assume we can change them over time (we cannot change anybody we can only change our own selves) yes some women will lie and do the most shameful things to get what they want, so shameful it would make me puke just thinking about it (I agree with you on this one Dick) it can be about money in most cases but not always, other times it can be revenge from a previous relationship with a bad man, had to learn this the hard way, and based on that experience I know that some women cannot be trusted, but let me say it again, to me is just some bad women but not all, for instance think of some of these good women: Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Queen Elizabeth, Mary Mother of God my mom, (lol) and many others that never get mentioned in history and others I can’t think of at the moment…Unfortunately the bad women syndrome has vastly grown over the years well I guess it seems that way because the world population has also grown, yes something needs to be done and it starts with some of us men, what do I mean by this?
I mean those men that go around all day holding their woman’s purse, these men need to step up and be a real man and stop letting women tell you what to do say, wear and even eat, you as a “woman purse holder man” are a shame to us real men, I can just imagine what goes trough those women minds that control these men (better yet half a men) I think this is a perfectly good way to spoil a woman if you ask me. And yes it goes both ways, we don’t want to let woman rule over us but we should not rule over women, instead we must respect each other and if we are different is because it needs to be that way, God makes no mistake, he also created women and it was for a purpose, and if we as men are stronger than women that does not mean we should take advantage and abuse women in any way (not physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually, why? because if we abuse the “bad woman” that will also make us a bad human being and also hypocrites, I think the best way to punish a bad woman is by walking away from her…. If a woman wants to be a whore and a liar, let her be but walk away from her because if you are a good man she does not even deserve your attention just shut the door on that “bad woman” and walk away for good. We as men kind cannot survive without women, because whether we like it or not , man cannot survive forever without women, and same goes for women they cannot survive without us, in other words in order for humanity to exist we need each other..
I will close by saying the following for those who wonder about me.
First, I’m not gay, I’m not on women side or men side (just truth and justice side) I do not hate women, nor I’m in love with them, I like some but stay away from others, and same goes for men. I have lived 37 years and happen to be somewhat educated, I don’t consider myself the smartest, I’m still aware of my human side and therefore I can still make mistakes.
My intention is just to share my point of view and not to attack a man or a woman, nor to say that men are better than woman or vice versa.
Cheers,
Elliott
” Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors”
did you now a woman invented the atom bomb? apparently women are ‘natural destructors’too. even though theres nothing natural about nuclear power.
case in point.
Shut up and show us your tits.