Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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I don’t care if you people think i’m 11 or not–because I am. I just don’t want to be treated like a little kid, thank you.
No thanks. I don’t like the idea of having a foreign body pushed out of me. Not to mention I don’t like the idea of sex period. yes..I am 11.
http://www.myspace.com/darylllovesanime
http://freewebs.com/my-astral-reality
Need more?
Lol, I wear a watch.
bola, the funny part I even did not read what she wrote, I just glance and I know.
Very good.
@ Panda HRU MAN?
This women have really nothing to say. They know they are abusing us, they know we have the right to talk about this and free ourselves. Their whole tyrany is like soup bubble, We could break free with an ease, but we don’t and that’s why they play these triks to keep our minds occupied.
Like this trick me and you and other men have seen gazillion of times. It goes ; Im only 11 y.o. but I already see that there is something “strange” = wrong, with you men writeing these posts=thingking of freedom form our bs.
She is not 11 y.o. She is just playing same stupid trick that has worked for her for playing men. Because no one said this to her that we know it, she thinks: Oh that worekd so Im gonna pull a next trick a next old trick which had worked for me for playing men. This time Ill use “rape trick”. She is not really scared or affraid of rape. By the way Chris already have explained it beautiffy.
The point is that it doesn’t matter if the trick is stupid or old, only matters if men still fall for it. It only matters that because of the trick a man stays in her frame and as long as that happens she can play him. She can talk about rape for hours or switch to another trick. Because as long as she does this like for ex talks about rape the topic is rape insted of something else like which would lead to your freedom and braking form soup bubble chains. Thats why these bitches don’t want us to talk to each other and give a clue to each other, so we wont have a clue about them, so they can leach on us and feel better and more empowered. Except that this is not empowerment this is a swamp for a human race. So hat to do about it?
Panda I understand your joke about paying fine to the owner, but she is operating on a different frame here, she is not going to accept your joke. She could easly respond and prolong the topic in her favor - stay in her frame. Why pay her? You pay a fine when you do something wrong. Fucking a woman well is good there is nothing wrong with it, she has a pleasure of her lifetime, she should pay you.
So what to do about it? First Ill qoute Chris - what he said;
“Sexual harrassment” is about …
“Rape” is about ….
“Romance” is about ….
WHO CARES!
WOMEN are the one’s who use those words. Men should stop even trying to figure out what they mean –>> BECAUSE THE DEFINITION (AND DISTINCTION) IS ONLY IMAGINED IN A WOMAN’S HEAD.
If a girl IS attracted to a guy, sexual harrassment is just called hot flirting. The same exact behavior from a guy she is NOT attracted to is called –>> ’sexual harassment’.
The line between the two is only drawn in HER head.
If a girl IS attracted to a guy, RAPE is exactly how great sex SHOULD be. The same exact sexual behavior from a guy she married just for the money is called —>> ‘rape’.
The line between the two is only drawn in HER head.
If a woman is in love with a man . . . . and she moves to Paris . . . and a buys a plane ticket to follow her. She will think it’s the ‘ROMANTIC’ gesture in the world.
If the woman is NOT in love with him . . . . POOF! he’s a “STALKER”.
the line between the ‘complete romantic’ and ‘total stalker’ is only drawn in HER head.
The guy in any of these scenarios has not done ANYTHING different or wrong. He’s just really into her. And if she were really into him, she wouldn’t have a problem with ANY of it.
THERE ISN’T ANYTHING REALLY ‘WRONG’ WITH THE MAN’S BEHAVIOR HERE,
IT’S JUST HER ‘PERCEPTION’ OF HIM.
When a woman uses the word ‘rape’, ’sexual harrassment’, or ‘romance’,
JUST IGNORE HER.
“end of Chris quote”
Also if you “must” have some fun, you could joke at her, for ex;
Oh you talk about rough sex how much you gonna pay me?
So you are saying you prefer a dildo insted of real penis, No you are way too nice for me, go away
…..
Great mother you’re going to be when you grow up.
Why should I? Just because i’m younger, that does not mean I do not have my own points.
OK..lets switch the roles, shall we? I take back what I said, because I hadn’t considered this at the time. Men CAN get raped. By other men. How would you feel, being forced onto a bed or hard surface, a horrible person over you, forcing his penis into your anal hole?
Your comparing me to a car? If you insist on this, at least compare me to the old school camero. The engine on those things are perfect. Vandalism and Rape are not connected. A fine to pay to her owner? I’m not in a relationship, nor do I plan to be because all of the men I have met are like you. So I don’t have an ‘owner’ as you put it.
If you were a car, you would know the fear of being keyed…Scratched paint and dented metal. Women getting raped? It’s just vandalism. Pay a fine to her owner. Big deal.
If you are 11 years old, then please go away this is an adult website.
A man’s right to beat his wife should be sanctioned by both church and state. A woman is really a piece of disposable chattel property owned by her husband.
I never said all of them. And if you were a women, you would know the fear of being violated, how much pain you would go through. Imagine this: inner walls of a vagina RIPPING and TEARING, blood dripping out. One of the worst pains possible..
mm..your strange.
You know…i’m 11, and I still teach my brother, dad, brother in law, and males in my class about technology, sports, pool, and engines. So I highly suggest you stop making such rash generalizations, because not all women are the idiots you make them out to be. Women are police officers, Women are in the army. Women fly air planes, they are scientists, wrestlers, and much more. I don’t understand why you hate women so much, but I truely feel sorry for you.
Rape victims always women? You fucking idiot. No, what you really mean is that rapes of women are publicised and wept over, because Anglo-Saxons have set women on pedestals. When men suffer, it is felt not to matter.
Women are cunts who need to be stoned.
Boolsheet. Branwell had a big (and unsung) hand in Wuthering Heights, greatest of all the Bronte novels. He was also a fine poet and translator. All his sisters were massively influenced by him.
Lets get this straight before you shoot down my response with countless nonsense theorys of your own. I am 11. Most people are just flamining you with insults and comebacks. But I think that men are just as bad as women. I will not deny that women suck sometimes. Think about the average 11 year old enviroment for a moment.(I’m a 7th grader)
I cannot spend 1 minute in a public place with people my age without hearing SOMETHING about boys, kissing, dating, and rumors. Sometimes, it gets so bad, I am ashamed of my gender. But things are just as bad with boys.
Males from my age to yours, and sometimes older, have the same problem. They are conceited. I hear them talk about how clueless their wife is, how they get ‘the good stuff’. I see sexual abuse, and no one stops it. I see far worse things that this, that i cannot recount without feeling sick.
In todays world, an 11 year old girl like myself knows things that she shouldn’t even KNOW about. And why? Because of men.
And another point– Rape victems are always women. Why? Because if it was the other way around, the man would have to be voluntary, in most cases.
–
I have no more to say except for this: based on all your articles(which I am still in the process of reading) I have one final point.
(here is where the insult comes..)
Your gay, aren’t you?
These type of prizes, even in the past, are always political. You should know that.
If one woman could do it, why not more? Most cultural production was done by the privileged classes. The women certainly had considerable freedom. There have been thousands of female artists and scientists through the ages, few of them famous though.
Your example is an exception, while mine illustrates the rule.
Political correctness - always THAT excuse. Pardon me while I roll my eyes.
How does one women, publishing under a woman’s name, indicate the general status of society at the time? And doesn’t the fact that Charlotte, Emily and Anne Bronte’s works are still being read, while Branwell is remembered primarily for being a drunken sad-sack who couldn’t handle the knowledge that his three sisters were immensely more talented than him somewhat negate the Schopenhauer situation?
Unsubstantiated claim. Most of the women I know don’t read serious literature either.
Always these excuses. Upper class women were certainly not considered as chattel. Schopenhauer’s mother Johanna was a successful and prolific author who had no difficulty getting her books published. But it’s her son who is still read today.
Women getting fancy prizes today means little in a world that’s characterized by political correctness and affirmative action.