Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
MenAreBetterThanWomen.com reached 200,000 visitors early this morning, so I thought I would mark the occasion by posting a very special top ten list of the top ten ways in which men are better than women.
Naturally as a man the moment I thought of an idea I set to work implementing it — in this case by writing it. It would have been exactly the same if my idea had been the wheel or the Hoover Dam. That’s because I’m a man and instead of taking shit from the world around me, I can shove shit right back into it as well.
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen.com
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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[...] to which i say, GiRlZ Rule! but, seriously as the studies go, females are pretty much naturally more apt for everything. don’t believe me? then agree with this guy, he seems real intelligent with a god given gift of sensible logic: http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/top-ten/ [...]
ooh and one other thing, the reason why women have lacked so much in the accomplishments department is because female figures have been suppressed. Women Gods have been replaced by all males. Women don’t have other women to aspire to like men do A.K.A Jesus. Women have been made to feel worthless and thats lead to confidence issues. Women are just as capable as men. Did you know that when animals are dominated by another animal they evolve twice as fast!Okay I need to stop ranting!
Haha this is funny. Mans view on the world is completely opposite to the truth. Women have sex with men out of love, whilst men have sex out of their own shallow pleasure. Women should not be called whores because the real whores are men! They are just so wrapped up in thinking they are God that they cannot see this. Mans goal in life is to earn the most money and willy joust with anybody they come into contact with, whilst women want love, laughter, friendship and a life! Use your imagination once in a while and you might learn a bit about wisdom!
Why do you think men have made all the accomplishments over time? Because women were not allowed to attend school until the 19th century and that was still only the rich women! Women are not physically stronger, women do do have a defence mechanism like men do so to be fair yes men have an unfair advantage towards women but take a step back and look at it from a different perspective, it might open your mind slightly on to the bigger picture about how women deserve every bit of respect they have always lacked from men. But hey! women can deal with it! I find mans sheer lack of vitality for life and blatent stupidity highly amusing! Peace xx
ROFL for real for real
finally, I found someone who thinks like me. You are awesome 99.99% of the stuff you wrote is true. I used to say that all women are whores and people laugh at me and they still do.
I’m sure your gay partner is very happy with you.
But seriously, not everyone’s like that, just like I met guys who aren’t all ass-craving, props assholes. Women think more creativily, out-pf-the-box and inner spacially. Men are more logical and physical.
But hey, it’s not like I really give a shit what a random person on the internet thinks. If you want to make better use of sexism, take yourself to 4chan. At least there’s lulz.
i find this so ridiculous. This article is really entertaining. I thought it was only a joke… Sorry if I was wrong…. I mean only because boys destroy things doesn’ t make them any better…. I think some men are really smart as for some women. Both sexes can be stupid or smart.
But I do agree that marriage is stupid
You clueless imbecile, lookup ’satire’.
Narrow minded people like this guy make the world a horrible place.
Well why don’t you ‘blastoff’?
Or failing that, just fuck off?
Men did everything by themselves with no help from women. Women were there to cook, clean and take care of the kids (an important role, ill admit as men need their women to stand by them). Point is, females have no right to take credit for men’s accomplishments and say they are “equal” to men when they know males are the superior sex. Its the dumb feminist cunts with their shit theories “women are equal/better…men are evil” that fucks everything up. Most women dont stand by their men, just nag and try to manipulate them. So, cheers to the women who do stand by their man. Conclusion: men should never trust a woman or depend on her until she signs a contract where she promises not to cheat, nag or humiliate her man in any way and always stand by him/submit to him.
@tet: “Put a man alone in the world for 5 mins and he’ll be crying for mommy”. Dumb cunt, men created this world and all the technological advancements your priveleged bitch ass enjoys. Who are the people below the men in top positions? More hard working men and dont say shit like “women do all the work”.. dumb shit bitches like you just talk all day on the phone and gossip while men do all the hard. Its females who are lazy while men are naturally strong and hard working. So shut it and go cry to oprah, maybe that oversized feminist will understand you.
meow
This guy is so fucking awesome. He has such a comically brilliant persona that he’s able to say awesome shit like this and people actually believe him. To all the bitches out there whining about “herf derf sexism! man is pig” shut the fuck up and read this, I guaran-FUCKING-tee this guy is joking, but you hoes are too goddamn stupid to realize t. Which in a way proves his jokes to be correct.
now, go put on your hip stylish skinny jeans hahaha fucking stupid. >.>
i love how these females spend the majority of their day gossiping or on the phone, watching t.v and obeying propaganda, dolling themselves up trying to find a mate to breed with or simply sitting on their arses, and then think they can come here (or on any other thread on the net) with anything semi intelligent to say. everybody nowadays thinks their so smart XD lame. please just stop, your just embarassing yourselves
oh i agree, because its worthless to gossip, i dnt use the phone, i dnt evn watch tv anymore, and proganda. really? hehe. i dnt believe in dressing up just to find someone :/ thts not even the right way to get a relationship. i knw i can come here ^^ i have my own free will. :) semi intelligent? thts your own biased opinion, which you are free to spew all over the web as you please. yeah..yeah…watevr makes you feel comfortable to sleep at night :))
peace out my nig yo, word is bomb son fo sho. fucking slow brainwashed bitches, go watch american idol now like i know you do, stupid bitch… *smiley face
american idol. Dont even watch it. Its not worth my time.
Im a guy and I really think you must be gay. You seem to really prefer men to women. So if you wanna go get yourself a nice boyfriend then go do that but the rest of the world doesn’t want to hear about it so shut up.
I know right? Do you think he’s ever had a girlfriend?
Female
No, he’s never had a girlfriend, and obviously his own mother was a stupid hoe if this is his world view on women.
Female (But took trouble to write properly)
you think dick must be gay? well your an idiot. do you not see how brilliant his ideas are? he is not saying he hates women he is saying that men are better. men are stronger they are faster and they are smarter. compare all the things a woman has invented to what a man has. it is obvious to see that men have invented all the great technologies that we have right now.
Men like him for who he is, he is the only guy with enough balls to say these kinds of things to the public because we all know its true
Men have not invented all the great inventions. Men have simply taken credit for all the great inventions. Most ideas were from women. Because while men were out proving how ‘damn manly’ they were, women were using their brains to… let me see, think! Look it up in the dictionary, ‘think’. I know you don’t do too much of it.
Fuck off you twisted cunt.
oh yeah you dnt agree with ppl so you use profanity. your better, so you dnt cant come up with civilized things to say :)
Ahhhh!!! So in spite of your reasoning having the validity and intellectual depth of a wading pool for subatomic particles, you assert that it’s WHIMMIN who did the thinking for these great MEN.
I mean, while few would seriously claim that whimmin have contributed nothing of magnificently technological or even utilitarian manvancement, it is nevertheless MEN, past and PRESENT, who continue to offer such at a pace FAR GREATER than “the equals” (yes, even though “the equals” have out-enrolled men in college for decades in Western countries; even though the first “equal” to be granted a patent in the United States was issued it in ONE EIGHT ZERO NINE…yes, that’s 1 8 0 9…it has been, and IS STILL, M E N , who continue to outpace “the equals” in societal manvancement – discoveries, inventions, it doesn’t matter the category – at a pace that’s obviously TOO MUCH for your little brain to keep up with or process).
In fact, here in the United States, the Patent Act of 1790 provided equaaaaaal opportunity for men and whimmin to submit ideas for patent (no man “took credit” for Mary Kies patent, WAY BACK in EIGHTEEN OHHHHH NINE).
Yes, it is MEN, past and present, and year in and year out, who WIN almost every award for ingenuity; and out-discover and out-invent “the equals” at a manCREDIBLE…that’s the key…CREDIBLE (nobody’s merely “taking credit” for anything, dingbat) pace.
For instance –
The National Inventors Hall of Fame honors people from around the world who have been issued U.S. patents for products, processes, and improvements to such deemed worthy in the manvancement of mankind.
Inductees, 1990 – 1999:
*Global Positioning System – Bradford Parker
*Genetic Fingerprinting – Alec Jeffreys
*DNA Sequencer – Leroy E. Hood
*Magnetic Resonance Imaging – Paul Christian Lauterbur
*Ethernet – Robert M. Metcalfe
*Leukocyte Reduction Filter – David Boris Pall
That’s right – MEN comprise the whole of that decade, and nearly NINETY-NINE PERCENT of the TOTAL (no selective facts, confirmation bias, or any other nonsense…NECESSARY!)
And you can bet your bootie that if it was WHIMMIN who had led any “teams” on these manventions, that they would have been PROMINENT in such listings (they’re NOT).
Men didn’t need whimmins’ help then; and they don’t need it NOW.
Men are just…
BETTERAtThisStuff
This is by far the dumbest thing ive ever read. you must be miserable, bored & single. Good luck man
Tsipa, men like this are almost NEVER miserable, bored, and tend to be single by choice. There are plenty of dumb fucking women out there to lap it up. It may not be like reading Herodotus or the US Constitution, but how many people do you know have really read those from front to back anyway? What I am trying to say is: at that the very, very, least it is incredibly entertaining. Especially when you realize some of the dumb fucking men might actually really believe AND agree with the stuff here.
I am happy to tell you that you would be dismayed by the number that do.
I’ll let you into a little secret, this is just the beginning…
No, I wouldn’t be dismayed AT ALL. There are MILLIONS of dumb fucking people in the world.
this bitch is still going on?
Yep.
I don’t care if you call me Vagina, Virgina, bitch, slut, whore, vampire LOL…because as long as dumb ass men have dumb ass cocks, I will always have a dumb ass man in my life. I don’t move mountains before 9am, because I have a big dumb ass man to do it for me :)
Big Dumb Ass Man: Baby, you want that mountain here?
Me: No, sweetheart, a little to the left please.
Big Dumb Ass Man: Here?
Me: Hmm, a little more to the left.
Big Dumb Ass Man: Here?
Me: Too far over, a little to the right now.
Big Dumb Ass Man: Here?
Me: Baby, that is perfect! I can’t believe you moved that great big mountain all by yourself! You are so big and strong:)
I think I am a more effective misandrist than you will ever make as a misogynist. What’s that? You don’t know what a misandrist is??? Google it, you big dumb fuck.
Oh yeah, by the way thanks for this website, it has given me quite a chuckle. I love you Big Dumb Ass Men:) The hijinks you idiots get up to when you make a website is really fucking amusing.
Cunt.
yeah, I am a cunt. A smart fucking cunt. I put the cunt in country. I am so fucking smart, I make the smartest men I know feel fucking retarded.
“I make the smartest men I know feel fucking retarded.”
Well, you should get out more then.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…oh God, you are too funny! Is Watcher Dick Masterson? I am going to have to call you Richard. I like dicks too much to do them such a disservice.
vag. :)
So you’ve learned another role to play, and convinced a man desperate enough to beleive it. What happens when your one card: good looks, begins to fade with age. Your boobs begin to sag, your ass turns square, and your skin begins to wrinkle. What then? That once nice peice of ass has no purpose to serve for the type of man you’re speaking of. He’s moving that mountain for your pussy, not for you.
The men I know can at least fucking spell. There is spell check on this website you dumb motherfucker.
Dear Virginia,
Yes some people cannot spell, but its funny that you have no comeback for what akxl actually wrote. Also its really good that using large words makes you feel smart, I’d hate to have that insecurity, but there’s no need to rub it in. But I’m a nice guy so here’s some tips: if you want to sound smart telling people to look in a dictionary is generally better than telling them to “Google it”, oh and I used small words so you wont have to “Google it”
sincerely,
the legion
Virgina youre mai idol :)
What about those men who do move mountains? You think we’re dumb? We’re the ones moving the mountains… You guys think you have us tricked, but so long as your playing this specific game you speak of in your fantasy skit, you damn well better have some sort of looks to back it up. Otherwise, we’ll get bord of dealing with your delusional “i’m in control for reasons other than being attractive” and move on to a newer, less sour piece of ass. What do you do then?
By the way, only a dumbass that doesn’t speak womenish could ever be tricked into believing someone such as you is a good catch. Do you think throwing your emotions at an intelligent real man as hard as you can, and as soon as he opens up you start the succubus process, really works on any REAL man? No, it doesn’t cunt. A real man would sense your neediness in an instance, and even if you were a hot piece of ass, look at right through you as if you weren’t even there.
No matter how old or tattered I look, there will be an old tattered man with his teeth on the bedside table right next to mine.
That’s no way to talk about your father.
Actually, I was talking about yours…Guess who is inheriting everything Jr??? I am.
Makes sense. My father has been dead 10 years, I suppose when your THAT desperate you get it where you can find it.
Let’s face facts; when you die your only mourners will be your inbred collection of mangy cats.
Sorry you had to find out this way why you weren’t in the will. If makes you feel better I will give you $10 so you can get your hair trimmed. It looks a little long, or do you cut it so short to hide male pattern baldness?
Let’s face facts: when you die you won’t even have an inbred collection of mangy cats to mourn you.
Oh and ta ta for now…I will be back later with a big fucking spatula to peel you off the ceiling. It is probably hard typing from there.
Ah, shows use of mimicry and parody.
You’re not as stupid as I thought (or best testing would indicate).
Peel me off the ceiling? and you were doing so well before reverted back to gibberish again…
Good effort though.
*reverting*
Watcher: you have been fun too. Nothing healthier than good fun banter with the sleeves rolled up. Now get your ass to the gym and stay away from McDonald’s, I would hate for you to die too young and miss another opportunity to argue with you.
Oh and BTW Watcher: I could write a better top 10 list than that…yours is actually insulting to men. Writing? Really? You had to use the way men write as an example? Have you read any good graphic novels lately or seen any good political satire cartoons? Mostly written by men who have excellent penmanship. Jesus was a man, yeah but he sure as shit wasn’t a fighter! I know women who have been in child birth longer than he was on the cross. So, please don’t hurt your elbow patting yourself on the back too much. I could write a top ten list because the best men I know or know of, have always humbled me because of their humbleness. Examples, Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln, my dad, my uncle Dave, my uncle Steve, my uncle Johnny, my grandfather, Gandhi. You are really shorting men in general if you want to stand by your top ten list. Grow a pair, and write one that is actually thoughtful and thought out.
Can we stop talking about men moving mountains? We all know men are way too fucking lazy to do such a thing. I work with a lot of idiot corporate men who are too fucking lazy to go get their own dam coffee in the morning let alone move a mountain. The only reason these men seem to have such ‘mountain moving’ strength is because they sit in a professional position that has ‘mountain moving’ strength attached to their job description, which is solely based on the work which the people below him do. Put any man alone in the world for more than five minutes and he’ll be crying for his mother in no time, you mark my fucking words you fucking no-nothing.
Can you just stop fucking talking you infantile fantasist.
she has her own free will she stops talking wen she wants too :/
that shows exactly how worthless women are, and why we don’t respect them.
Well we all know that men have short fucking rulers, that is why they all think their cocks are so fucking big. So, I don’t need a man to measure my worth.
you dont respect your mother?
wowwwwwwwwwwwwww. Interesting. This kinda stuff makes me laugh Considering I’m a woman in the Marine Corps and there are a pretty good amount of guys whose ass I could kick, just because your a man doesn’t prove anything. Plus, your comments on writing are completely ignorant. Your pretty lucky that this country allows freedom of speech so you can post your sexist bullshit out there for people to see. Way to go.
Wow, a girl playing dress-up in soldiers clothes.
The closest you’re ever going to get to a fire fight is on an Xbox, but hey, don’t let that stop you thinking you really are a ‘warrior’.
Enemies of the free world beware! As soon as Jena has finished putting ‘Hello Kitty’ stickers on her kit, she will kick your asses!
From the back of an APC…
Surrounded by ACTUAL warriors…
From the safety of camp…
Good to hear, contribution. But at the same time, fully masculinized institutions musculinize those that enter it. My Point? Men that aren’t gay don’t go to beauty school. So either you’re a lesbian, or what’s killing you inside is your career.
dnt have to be lesbian to be in “institutions” hun
[...] Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women [...]
I just wanted to say, that the top ten reasons men are better than woman just proved how stupid you actually are. Yes a female sheep is called a ewe….a male sheep is called a ram. I feel really sad for you that you feel this way and actually take time out of your day to express such hatred towards woman. But everyone is an indivisiual whether your a man, woman, child, black, white, asian or whatever nothing makes someone better than someone else. Yes I could get angry at what you have said. But I am happy to be me and it does not bother me what negative things you have to say. I hope that one day you will come to your senses and find a lovely girl who will look past all this and be happy. Obviously you have been misled as a child or something to feel this way. Chances are your going to die a sad lonely old man, with his website looking for attention.
I actually want to thankyou because you have actually brightened up my day, because I know that nothing you have said has actually had any value and has had no affect on my mood in any way. It just makes me feel more happy about the positive person I am. I dont hate anyone because it takes to much energy to hate someone, I just feel really sorry for you.
Now im going to click exit from this website and not even have a second thought about this websites sad little existence and the sad thing is you will keep coming back here saying the same old rubbish with no true value day after day. I hope that others will do the same :)
You obviously will give it more thought since you took the time to comment.
wow its the english language! is an female sheep an ewe in japanese? no. ha. :P
sorry comment wrong personlol