Turkey Gobblers!
Women are obsessed with plastic surgery, and one of the fastest growing surgical trends this Thanksgiving is the rejuvenating, revitalizing, reinvigorating vaginoplasty.
The rejuvenating, revitalizing, reinvigorating vaginoplasty puts the “tight” in a twat; it takes the “loose” from a labia; it crams the “new” into a snootch; and it takes at least three kids off the odometer. When marriage counseling doesn’t work, and since women are too possessive to give threesomes a shot, they’re turning to the same thing that brought us taxes, Charles Manson, and the Vagina Monologues.
The vagina.
Nothing proves that women hate sex — while simultaneously being obsessed with it — like “the vaginoplasty”. Their obsession with sexual perfection consumes them and manifests in shame, hatred, and bitterness. Women are obsessed with their vaginas like that woman in Misery was obsessed with Stephan King. If it was legal, vaginas should all get restraining orders.
Women and their vaginas remind me of a man with a classic 1958 California Spyder Ferrari, who spends all day polishing it and talking dirty to it without ever taking it out for a test drive. What a waste.
At least the Ferrari is still good to look at.
Turkey Gobblers
Since women don’t want to use their vaginas, they’re trying to turn them into something a vagina will never be: easy on the eyes. I have news for you ladies out there. You can’t turn a turkey into a swan. You can’t turn a floppy whoopie cushion into The David. You can’t turn a turkey gobbler into a 16 year old clam, no matter how much bleaching some man is paying for.
Women are disgusted by themselves and stupid. Forget about makeup and perfume, they can’t even figure out what their vaginas are for.
They’re ATM’s, not works of art.
Vaginoplasties are like Viagra for women
False. Viagra is for women. Without Viagra thousands of men would leave their old, boring wives every year for young, hot ones who could put some lead in their pencil. Then they would use that pencil to sign the divorce papers.
A vagina is a lot like a boat. You dump tons of money into it and no matter how great it sounds, it’s only fun a few times a year during the summer. Otherwise, it’s a lot of expensive upkeep.
Women all over the country are trying to put some vitality back in their vag and some “clamp” back in their clams this season with expensive and risky plastic surgery. Since I know it’s not going to work, I’ve got a procedure women should try first which is guaranteed to improve their sexual attraction:
Shut up and hit a treadmill.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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November 22nd, 2007 at 1:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: b53ce65a7f55f
This is so absolutely true, Dick. Every woman I’ve ever known/been with has been utterly obsessed about doing upkeep on her vagina.
Here’s a hint: Vaginas, like hearing, degrade over time. There is no going back once you’ve stretched that baby out, aside from the expensive and painful surgery Dick mentioned.
Ever hear of a man do upkeep on his cock? No. Because male genitals are just plain better than women’s. I’m sure some woman will respond with “dick enhancement lol,” but that’s a bs response, because that’s an improvement, not maintenance.
November 22nd, 2007 at 4:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
I think it’s sad that society has gotten to this level, and that women are at such a vulnerable stand point that they fall for it.
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2b28d30123cf8
First mistake of society, letting women think.
Women would not be so fucking vulnerable if they stood where they were meant to stand, behind men.
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40
I think Dick Masterson is so fucking hot. I think he is gay.
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: b834198921367
dicks are the ugliest things i’ve ever seen, and us woman who have to put up with them don’t judge you men.
and it’s so pathetic that you’re judging people for what their private parts look like. fucking grow up.
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 27dcff235637a
Wow in all my experience of the horrors of the internet i have not yet come across something so pathetic. I am a 20 yr old woman from Australia and im currently completing a bachelor of law/human resource management. So yes you could say I’m smarter then you Dick. Plastic surgury has never crossed my mind, and YES i do have a mind! This website is designed to make low-life men feel better about their own pathetic lives.. I actually pity you! your articles are based on sexist thoughts that have no real relavance in todays world! Noone wants to hear your thoughts.. Your not important enough.. Anyone who spends so much time creating websites like this CLEARLY have no life.. Soahh Dick or whatever ur name is.. Why dont you go suck on a Dick? Because if u despise women so much then i dont see why youy would want to have sex with them.. Anyways im off to live a worthwhile life earning my own living, which is more then i can say for you Dick! haha
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 241258553a1a0
women are obsessed with looks and things because men fucking degrade them and make them feel like they are never good enough, you clearly are not getting laid! you stupid chauvanistic bastard you should be fucking shot!
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
This is evidence that women are still standing behind men. The fact that they think they need this surgery shows complete lack of confidence, and value of sexual desire towards men. They are not doing it for fun, they are doing it to please the man they are with and consequently themselves.
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
How many people live at this IP address??