Want to Help Women? Punch One in the Face
Women have no fear of anything.
They have no fear of any shit breaking because some man will always fix it in a charming attempt to fuck them — which usually works. They have no fear of losing their jobs because they don’t ever support themselves anyway. Women are like shrieking monkeys jumping like silly jackasses from tree to tree in a forest of men with big burly arms and deep pockets.
Women especially have no fear of saying or doing anything stupid. You really want to do something for women? Next time you hear one acting stupid, just knock the shit out of her.
That would make a hell of an alibi too. After all, who would believe her?
“Defendant, you stand accused of striking this woman because she didn’t know the difference between her office key and her apartment key even though one has flowers and shit all over it. How do you plead?”
“Your honour…are you fucking serious? What kind of person would do that?”
The classic, “Are you fucking serious” defense. I’ve seen it a hundred times.
Let me step back for a moment before my manjo gets carried away with itself. I’m not saying that all men should go out and start beating women like they’re piñatas until cogent ideas start pouring out of their mouths like delicious candy. First of all, that would never work. Even with a gun to their heads, women can’t make any sense. Secondly, violence against women is uncivilized.
What I am suggesting is simply that women spew garbage out the mouth 27/7 because they have no internal filter of fear. That’s because fear is a very manly thing. Without fear, where does a man get his adrenaline to accomplish heroic man-feats of car lifting and lion fighting and tearing trees out by their roots? Redbull? I don’t fucking think so. Without fear would a man think to himself, “maybe I shouldn’t get herpes from this drunk skank”? The answer is no, he would not. That’s why so many women have STD’s and don’t even know it. Because they’re idiots.
Fear is a man’s life compass. Fear is Jiminy fucking Man-Cricket. The fear of looking like a jackass; the fear of getting kicked in the teeth for grabbing some seemingly unattended woman’s boob; fear is what keeps men drawing between the lines at all times and what keeps us preparing for rough weather ahead.
Curiously to none, women are afraid of nothing.
Women and their outrageously inflated confidence — it’s a bit like the eight year old who won the spelling bee for correctly guessing establishment.
Yes, we’re all very impressed, son; but you’ll still feel like a jackass if I pour this punch all over the front of your pants like you pissed yourself, won’t you. That’s life, kid. Best shut your fucking mouth and swallow that lump in your throat.
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Women don’t experience fear. They experience paranoia and hysterics.
Item in point: feminists
Don’t be absurd. Nothing I say is illogical. I am a man.
-Dick
Dick, you say that women are fearless. But you did not take into consideration that women hypochondriacs exist. Also, there are women who fear needles, spiders, rape, death, etc. Your statement is entirely illogical.
Fem said:
Why do I feel like I’m suffocating on the old testament then?
-Because you cannot tolerate something that you don’t believe in? So much for diversity, or tolerance.
Because you’re not very good at analogies?
Amen, brother Joe.
Female, it’s a pretty easy parallel to follow, and one even an atheist would agree with. The atheist’s perspective would be that just as people seek out a mythical “god” for reassurance in meeting deep-seated needs, so too do feminists seek out the ‘omnipotent’ government to protect and succor them.
-wolfe
Why do I feel like I’m suffocating on the old testament then?
I am believer in Christ, his Word and the Bible, but I don’t shove my religon down anyone’s throat, and I ask people to reply in kind. But today I attended church ,the topic for today dovetails quite nicely with this column. The subject was “Living without the Fear.” This was based on Psalm 27: 1-14. The first five is what I wish to quote and comment on.
Psalm 27: 1-5
1The Lord is my light and salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid? 2When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me , the will stumble and fall. 3Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I confident. 4One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. 5For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter fo his tabernacle and set me hig upon a rock.
This message was read and taught, that if one believes and follows the Lord, no fear shall touch you. The Lord will protect and guide his children, no matter what. Sin is even forgiven, if proper penetance is given and repeats avoided. Otherwise, when one is judged, full responsibility will be handed down to you.
Afterwards I was reflecting on this, and thought how the relationship of feminism and government are the same. The same except for full responsibility being given the individual. Feminism likes handing fault out on society as a whole, not the individual.
Feminism and women have little or no fear cause their diety(a.k.a. the government), will guide and protect them, no matter what. However, the Lord does know when someone is truly penetent, the government doesn’t know, nor does it care. Just looking remorseful is enough. But the fear is not there because women have their own Psalm 27. This is how it reads.
The Government is my light and salvation-whom shall I fear? The Government is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid? When the evil partiarchy advance against me to rape my flesh, when MRA’s and female foes of feminism, attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege, my heart will not fear; though war break out against abortion, even then I will be confident. One thing I demand of the Government, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in government housing all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of Democrats and to seek them in the Senate. For in the day of trouble the Government will keep me safe in their housing; Government will hide me in the shelter of the Law and set me high upon a pedastal.
That pretty much sums up the feminist’s doctrine……..
Actually, I’ll give her that Dick. She’s trying, against all modern feminist programming, to be a touch less crude. She should be applauded for attempting to break the mold.
-wolfe
And what the fuck is an “eff up”?
-Dick
mmm, I know, you need something else entirely.
He isn’t trying to convince anyone, we don’t need convincing.
You wouldn’t punch her in the face, ziglig.
Because men are better than women.
-Big Al
You are making Steves around the world cringe. Please pose as a man with a different name. Or at the very least use the fem version with the ph so that I can stop wanting to go punch you in the face.
Your not fooling anyone sweetheart
LOL@Goon! Welcome to the site!! I am an idiot! A Self contained, 100% pure Idiot! BUT, all the attention I am getting here is great!! What other site would quote what a complete idiot would say? LOL! I love it here! AND, the best part about i is you cannot get kicked out!! I am just here, like everybody else to have a laugh! Thats all this! A big joke! And so it shal remain! Anybody who takes this crap serioulsy is a porpoer idiot!!
Welcome to the site, Goon. Hope you enjoy yourself. Check out the man-tastic forums and the archives for more.
-wolfe
You my friend, are an idiot. This website is SO correct i cant even begin to explain it to you. He may be foul, but every single thing he has said makes perfect sense.
LOL! Keep them commig guys!! This site is hillarious! And no, their are scientific breakthroughs going on now that mean women can get pregnant without sperm. Not available yet, but sometime in the future, but by then humans will not need to exist anyway! (Do we need to now?)
Ps Love being thought of as a woman! I havent laughed so much in ages!! THANX!
Oh yeah, women don’t need men, sure. And who would do all the real work? And I don’t mean that office bullshit. I mean real jobs. Men still dominate all the occupations that require more than the ability to type. And no, it’s not due to descrimination. It’s because women don’t want to get this pansy hands dirty.
Ahhhh…..another self-hating mangina steps up to the plate. But in this case, I don’t think it is truly a man.
Here are the reasons:
First Steve T’s claim’s of women getting pregnant without men. No logic in that point. A MAN’S SPERM IS STILL REQUIRED!! Though this type of illogical point could come out of a teenage girl.
Second reason he isn’t a man, is the name. I know women named Stevie, but never Steve. Having to point out you are a man, with a obvious masculine name, is something a woman would say. Men would never have to rehash such an obvious thing as gender, if the name clearly denotes it.