Want to Help Women? Punch One in the Face
Women have no fear of anything.
They have no fear of any shit breaking because some man will always fix it in a charming attempt to fuck them — which usually works. They have no fear of losing their jobs because they don’t ever support themselves anyway. Women are like shrieking monkeys jumping like silly jackasses from tree to tree in a forest of men with big burly arms and deep pockets.
Women especially have no fear of saying or doing anything stupid. You really want to do something for women? Next time you hear one acting stupid, just knock the shit out of her.
That would make a hell of an alibi too. After all, who would believe her?
“Defendant, you stand accused of striking this woman because she didn’t know the difference between her office key and her apartment key even though one has flowers and shit all over it. How do you plead?”
“Your honour…are you fucking serious? What kind of person would do that?”
The classic, “Are you fucking serious” defense. I’ve seen it a hundred times.
Let me step back for a moment before my manjo gets carried away with itself. I’m not saying that all men should go out and start beating women like they’re piñatas until cogent ideas start pouring out of their mouths like delicious candy. First of all, that would never work. Even with a gun to their heads, women can’t make any sense. Secondly, violence against women is uncivilized.
What I am suggesting is simply that women spew garbage out the mouth 27/7 because they have no internal filter of fear. That’s because fear is a very manly thing. Without fear, where does a man get his adrenaline to accomplish heroic man-feats of car lifting and lion fighting and tearing trees out by their roots? Redbull? I don’t fucking think so. Without fear would a man think to himself, “maybe I shouldn’t get herpes from this drunk skank”? The answer is no, he would not. That’s why so many women have STD’s and don’t even know it. Because they’re idiots.
Fear is a man’s life compass. Fear is Jiminy fucking Man-Cricket. The fear of looking like a jackass; the fear of getting kicked in the teeth for grabbing some seemingly unattended woman’s boob; fear is what keeps men drawing between the lines at all times and what keeps us preparing for rough weather ahead.
Curiously to none, women are afraid of nothing.
Women and their outrageously inflated confidence — it’s a bit like the eight year old who won the spelling bee for correctly guessing establishment.
Yes, we’re all very impressed, son; but you’ll still feel like a jackass if I pour this punch all over the front of your pants like you pissed yourself, won’t you. That’s life, kid. Best shut your fucking mouth and swallow that lump in your throat.
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March 24th, 2006 at 12:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: a6c394293b335
Hysterics
Grump, I find your comment untruthful. Women can not be restricted to only specific emotions, just as men are not restricted only to the emotion of fear.
March 24th, 2006 at 1:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7f5a0b2070dae
Sorry, I was using a rhetorical device to emphasize a point. When women are fearful, it tends to be so intense and so strong that that they are ill-equipped to deal with it properly. Men - in my observation - tend to react to the fear-stimuli a little more rationally. They take care of business, while more often women act rashly or run around wringing their hands and freaking out like the bloody world has ended.
March 24th, 2006 at 3:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
That depends entirely on the individual. I personally get extremely calm on only 2 occassions. 1. I am very tired or 2. There’s an emergency. To stereotype in the way you just have is stupid.
March 24th, 2006 at 4:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1e9dacab61935
Only 2 occassions? Are you saying the rest of the time you are chatting shit like a raving lunatic?
March 24th, 2006 at 4:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Yea that’s right Mike, usually I’m not wearing my strait jacket like some others around here.
March 24th, 2006 at 4:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1e9dacab61935
Understanding the problem is half the solution. Your making progress, well done.
March 24th, 2006 at 5:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7f5a0b2070dae
“To stereotype in the way you just have is stupid. ”
:) So, you believe there are intelligent ways to stereotype?
March 24th, 2006 at 5:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Correction. To stereotype, as you just have, is stupid :)
March 25th, 2006 at 1:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Actually, you’re both wrong. Stereotypes are potentially valuable mental shortcuts that allow us to accumulate experience and process events in a rational fashion, then reuse that rational processing in the future.
Yes, it is a stereotype that if I am dealing with some poor soul who’s schizophrenic that the person might turn very violent. That’s a useful stereotype to have, though, rather than to wait and see what happens without taking any precautions.
There’s a stereotype that if I am dealing with a drunk who wants to drive the bus or fly the plane that — however intelligent he or she is — as a drunk she or he will be a disaster as a pilot or driver. I’d say that’s useful too; I don’t need to experience a crash for my stereotype to protect me.
If I’m a woman and I meet some unemployed smelly bum who wants to marry me tomorrow, then my stereotypes will kick in (if I am sane) and protect me from what is 99.99% likely to be a very bad marriage.
Stereotypes are bad when you allow them to limit an individual’s mid to long term potential. They aren’t magically bad in general.
Thus, there are intelligent ways to stereotype, and to stereotype is not automatically stupid.
-wolfe
March 27th, 2006 at 8:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 87e31b4c87a7a
YOU IDIOTS! HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR WOMEN!!! I find this website VERY
apolling!! Maybe you should get out more!!! You might find that women are A
HECK OF A LOT BETTER THEN YOU CONSIDER THEM TO BE!!!!!!
March 27th, 2006 at 11:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
Check your spelling, Jeremy. And stop shouting. You sound like a woman, for Christ’s sake.
-Big Al
March 28th, 2006 at 2:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 34e3b10c32441
I think it may be another male-impersonator.
The new “pretend Male” that women are striving to be.
March 28th, 2006 at 10:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
At least ‘he’ didn’t find it ‘affensive’.
It makes me think…
ap·poll·ing Audio pronunciation of “appolling” ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-pôlng)
adj.
Causing one to believe that polling people has no meaning; a pronounced antipathy to major firms such as Gallop: I find this website, relying as it does on statistics, apolling.
Good one, ‘Sir’ Jeremy.
-wolfe
April 4th, 2006 at 1:14 am - IP Man-Hash: 1be87147c25f0
Huked one foniks wurkeed fur mee!
April 4th, 2006 at 5:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 5a586e2f39733
How come you never see anyone saying:
HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR MEN!!!
What is it about these deluded, attention seeking, princess complexed, self obsessed, bitching, moaning, scrounging, leeches that makes them think that being born a female automatically entitles them to respect?
April 5th, 2006 at 8:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: f02acd4334e0c
I would have thought it to be a spelling error and it should been “appalling”, like in the series of “Yes Minister” when Humphreys and Minister finds out that their department is going to be axed. They spent the whole time being “appalled” and the circumstance was “appalling”.
Very funny program and sadly missed.
April 5th, 2006 at 9:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
God Christian, you really do protest too much.
April 10th, 2006 at 11:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Heh, it was indeed a spelling error Christian, I just couldn’t resist having a bit of fun.
That was indeed a great TV series. Nigel Hawthorne and Paul Eddington were fine actors; I had the privilege of seeing both on stage in the West End some years back; I think Hawthorne was playing C.S. Lewis in Shadowlands, and Eddington was in some forgettable Goldsmith comedy. Both were outstanding.
They are missed and mourned.
-wolfe
May 21st, 2006 at 6:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: d1875953aeb81
Doesn’t anyone else think that posting on this site to say that it is “apolling” like that dumbshit JEREMY said is kind of worthless. No one cares about your fucking opinion. If you don’t like what you see, take your opinion elsewhere.
P.S. Grow a pair, you puss.
June 6th, 2006 at 9:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: ec403599fee4d
Here is a reasonable Stereotype I have.
From my experiences most women are trouble and since it is rare to find one that acts sane it is best to expect trouble from all women.
I’m never disappointed.
When women use the word RESPECT in a sentence I have to laugh.
It’s like reading scum manifesto and having the author tell me that I should respect her.