Weddings are Golden Toilets…Flush
Is it any surprise to no one that a woman’s second favorite past-time: having a wedding, is a huge waste of time and money?
It sure is.
Or it sure isn’t. I’m not really sure how to answer that question, so I’ll just say it. Weddings are a complete waste of time and money and are the stupidest thing that a new couple can do.
Let me give a hypothetical situation that may or may not have happened six thousand, five hundred times a day every day this year — in America alone.
Johnny Everyman (twenty-five years old with a degree in Business and Economics and a summer job selling kitchen knives) is going to enter into a bond of legal matrimony with Jill Princess-Complex (twenty-two with a degree in Art History and who has never had a job that earned more than minimum wage in her life). Sound familiar? You bet it does.
Is this new couple going to:
A) Put a down payment on a house with their savings and token gifts from family members and friends.
B) Elope for like a hundred bucks to beautiful and romantic Downtown Courthouse.
C) Have an extravaganzic gala that will drain their bank accounts, stock their kitchen with glitzy, over-priced wares from Eddie Bauer, and leave every moment in their relationship from that point on to lurk in the shadows of lost potential.
That’s why men think weddings are stupid. Because we’re better than women at starting a family and laying the foundations for a healthy relationship with a significant other. Call us all softies for it if you want, but it’s completely true.
Here’s fact that may surprise you in a fun way. Even on women’s home turf: weddings, men can run circles around them. For instance — you might want to step back for this one — how many women do you think know the 6 C’s of diamonds, the main ingredient to any engagement ring? As a man, I can just rattle them right off the top of my head and for all you know I’m not even married.
Cut
Clarity
Color
Certification
Carat
And of course the sixth C is the one wearing it.
The bottom line is that calling a comb “Indestructible” doesn’t make it so. It’s still just a plastic piece of shit that isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.
Next time you’re going to get married men, just think about it like this: Don’t.
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astromuffy, fuck off. I give absolutely no shit if you agree with anything I say. I’m a man. I’m already right without the worthless opinion of a woman.
-Dick
dick, dahling,
this is where you and i absolutely agree. i recoiled in horror at the first wedding it witnessed in my teens for two reasons - first, the enormous amount of time and grief that goes into planning them, and second, at the astronomical cost.
the courthouse at a romantic city (montreal works for me), a cheap getaway to a cabin within a 200 mile radius - that’s my idea to a great romantic, and financial beginning for a new couple.
about the 5 c’s - well aware of those, but how do you get the benefits of a 5 c diamond without the cost.
there are probably a few ways.
one is to settle for less quality in some of the c’s and more quality in other areas.
another is to buy the best used.
these things never hold their value anyway.
the woman’s vanity is satisfied, and the man’s ego is satisfied at his ability to give his woman what she wants…
Alright! We got another nutter on the premises. We were runnin’ short.
I’m not sure. (Was)Isn’t there this old custom (law?) that stated whosoever man sentenced to death be chosen for marriage by any woman shall have his life spared?
Probably a fate worse than the execution, they must’ve thought.
Christianj, maybe that would explain why women marry death row inmates or dolphins. What is important is the ceremony. Not the trivial things like lifelong commitments or other vows.
What a deal, marry an inmate and a few years down the road one can have another wedding.
I saw a funny comercial today.
4 or 5 young women on the beach and they spot a small plane with a banner flying behind it and it reads” Anna Marry me, Scott.
The girls are jumping up and down with excitement when a second plane follows and the girls appear to be in shock at the banners following this plane which reads “And pay for the honeymoon and help pay off my credit card debts.” The banner had a third line which I missed, but the comercial was very unusual and I got a good laugh.
:)
It’s probably why the Groom is just an after thought, in reality all he is there for is to make it legal and pay the bills.
After all, you cannot have a wedding without one.
So true Mike and that is why so many young women have been married 4 or 5 and even more times.
Todays women are just common whores. Women love to use divorce as leverage to get what they want. The sad part is there is some desperate guy somewhere willing to marry her dumb ass for the 4th or 5th time and hoping that he will make her happy.
We all know that women love and crave attention, which is why they love weddings so much. Being the bride for the day is the highlight of many women’s lives, Sadly.
But once the big day is over, and the honeymoon eventually draws to a close, women are confronted with a horrific thought…
(The next time they will get that kind of attention will be their own funeral. Unless, of course, they re-marry.)
This epiphany is too much for some women to bear, resulting in the deranged home-wrecking harpies we are all too familiar with.
I bet all married women have considered divorce at some point. The thought of going through the whole wedding process again probably makes them moist.
There is nothing fairer or fair about most females today.
What a load of shit, most of you aren’t good for anything, accept selling pussy to the highest bidder. When men opt out of the bidding then you assume something is wrong with him.
A man doesn’t need to get hit by a speeding car to know that it’s likely to hurt…a lot.
LOL! Definitely NOT a woman! Definitely immature! This is a really cool site!! Men taking the micky out of other men! Men pretending they not like women! What a laugh!! Keep it up!! I love contradictions!! They funny!
Yes. It’s quite obvious Steve T is a woman.
-Dick
The last time I heard something like this was back in my Junior High days…… Talk about immature.
I think Nicole and Dick would make the PERFECT couple!! I can hear those wedding bells already!! I want a slice of the cake though!!
It’s suffering from a form of “verbal diarrhoea”, only it applies to messages.
And I tink nichole cun yoose eeni schpeling shee wornts 2.
Does anyone know of a pig call that works in reverse? I know Souiee of course, but that attracts them. I’d just like to get rid of this one.
-Dick
Why to you always feel the need to resort to personal attacks? But if someone divulges personal information you criticise them for it.
This is the brotherhood.
And when you laughed to yourself about it after making up that I said it, did you make little snorting sounds?
-Dick