Ask Dick: How Many Roads Must a Man Walk Down?
I am asked the following question a lot, so I might as well answer it once and for all. This version comes to me from Justin.
Dick,
Try as I may, I cannot filter through bullshit to figure out what it means to be a man. As a young scholar with an addictive personality, I humbly seek your guidance in my quest for mandom. Can you give me an outline of what a man is and what his responsibilities to the world are?
Good question, Justin. Firstly, you have to figure out what it really is that you’re looking for. You’re not looking for an outline of mandom. You’re looking for a road map to manhood. That’s much manlier.
The Road Map to Manhood
There’s as much bullshit out there about what it is to be a man as there is bullshit out there about what it is to be smart. Are you book smart or are you street smart? If you have to ask, you’re neither, so shut the fuck up.
Being a man is doing the right thing no matter what the cost.
Wrong.
If there’s one thing I know about history, it’s that it should be called penistory because of the overwhelming influence men have had over women in shaping it. If I know two things, it’s that what’s right today could be wrong tomorrow. There is no “right thing”. Someone is always going to get shit on, and if you’re realizing that, that someone will probably be you.
Smoking was once an infusion of class and wealth. But today, smoking will get you thrown up on in some parts of California — even though it’s still a huge sign of class and coolness. Smacking women for their non-stop fuckups also used to be standard fare. Now, however, it is frowned upon.
Being a man is fighting for what you believe in.
I don’t think I could invent a concept more womanly than that. Fighting for what she “believes” is how women start 100% of domestic abuse.
Belief is a silly thing for school children and drunks. Men have powers of self-determination that women can’t even comprehend. Men are actually so powerful, that a man believing in something makes it true. If you fight for that, you’re not fighting for what you believe in, you’re fighting for the truth.
That might make you a third Superman, but it doesn’t make you a man.
Being a man means accepting responsibility.
“Accepting” responsibility is like “admitting” you’re a drunk. You were always a fucking drunk. Admitting it or not is irrelevant.
Responsibility is owing your bookie fifty grand that you don’t have. It’s something you can’t avoid. If you don’t want to “accept” that, then you’re going to have to “accept” that your legs will be run over by a 1988 white Cadillac Brahm with rouge trim.
Some bookies also drive cars that pimps would drive. Not all of them, but some do.
Being a man
Being a means one simple thing: thinking in reality.
Women think purely in terms of fantasy. No matter how cut and dry and fucking obvious something is, women will sit and think their pretty little heads off until nothing makes sense anymore, and the only available option is to let life wash over them like a tidal wave of fuckups.
Women are magicians of Wrong. No matter how clearly you lay the path for them, they will pull a disaster rabbit out of their hat faster than you an say “Abragofuckyourself”.
The real answer to your question, Justin, is: who the fuck cares what it means to be a man. You are one. Roll your sleeves up and get to work.
That’s Man Zen.
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Two questions. One, WOMAN. What are you doing here? women are forbidden on this site, and two, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS RESPONDING TO HER COMMENTS FOR? IGNORE THEM AND THEY GO AWAY. OR, TELL THEM TO GO AWAY. nothing more, nothing less. Do not engage these sacs of hate and vinegar in conversation on here! Fuck. The comments are LITTERED with woman bullshit and its because FUCKS like you two dipshits respond to these idiots comments as if what they said was actually relevent. She’s a lying whore, just like they all are. If we kept drilling this cunt-twat about it she would finally admit that she HAS told MANY men to “be a man” to get what she wants but somehow it doesn’t count cause she was drunk or HE was drunk, or because her arch nemesis from school pissed her off or some other utterly ridiculous excuse for why it doesn’t count when she does it. FUCK. WOMEN GET OUT OF HERE.
Watcher=loser with a tiny dick! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! http://www.maleenhancement.org/ Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Watcher=Mr. Empty-pants!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Chris=Mr. Empty-pants
“Being a means one simple thing: thinking in reality.”
Golden.
Classic shit right here! As always, served up on the best site on the web!
Never in my life have I said ‘Be a man’ and I’m female. Never. I wouldn’t be that pathetic in exploiting a male’s ego. That’s manipulation, and not even good manipulation.
Well…that’s one.
I can guarantee that you have given the ‘be a man’ look as a form of manipulation.
i am a handsome young man. wont to contact a women for fucking in delhi
Idiot. It says no women allowed on this site and you’re posting looking for a “women”. Dude…
Troll.
What the fuck was this idiot thinking. Stupid muthafuckas and bitches come here and post all the wrong shit for the wrong reasons. When they shouldn’t even be here. I’ve never been one to pick up girls on the internet, when there are spots right up the street I can go to for that. Still, dumpak or whatever the fuck your name is go to match.com or something for that shit, you fucking clown.
If you continue, you are going to cry. Nobody will care, because men listen w/ their eyes (what were you using, again?) so they can not observe you at the apex of your prettiness.
Your mom cares if you cry, unless she’s on the phone.
Kristina….would you sleep w/ a married man, or try to force him into a divorce? What if that would take away all his cash? Are you worth all his cash? Also; please elaborate on this shit called ‘romance’
Dude! It’s coming through what’s left of the school systems that’s left the word ‘Sword’ permanently in you someplace.
This maybe the one place on earth where you can discuss what true entitlements are without jumping out the window, or diliberately zipping your dick in your fly.
What? You’ve had a weird experience based on my documentation. This mine:
1.) snooping
2.) stealing
3.) calling 911 and run
4.) a dependent personality disorder
Women don’t have intuition! They’re just sneaky, little adders who browse through your shit while you partake in man-earned sleep. Remember, there is no rest for the wicked. This is what slowly incorporates a bunch of pesky, assine steps into your life…(like deleting all your cell phone numbers)…not ‘cus you give a shit what she thinks, but to avoid her goddamned mouth.
Like, Kelsey Grammar? Er, I don’t know what to say. Who do you think would recognize that being understood supercedes the pending symbolism for being understood? Hahahahaha! Watch out ladies, gotta make new tools. whatyoudonow?
Kristina’s right, she is pretty disgusting.
What? Twenty years to learn: there is no masacre bloody than indifference.
Women always try to lecture men, because to spout such hibile w/ each other (they learn) remains the same as their first hand-smacking:
Ms. Merry Mac, Mac, Mac…all dressed in black, black, black…
And she’s got silver buttons down her back ‘cus she’s a whore.
Now, whoever introduced that subliminal gem unto the playground was a fucking genius indeed.
“I have better spelling and grammar then more than half the bozos on this site” – You mean “better spelling and grammar *than* more *then*”, right?
“sweraing” – I think you mispelled something.
“reasnably” – I don’t think that’s spelled correctly.
“imbecilic” – I could be wrong, but I don’t think that’s even a real word.
“And any sensible female, reads what you have to read and laughs” – You mean “reads what you have to write”?
“Which is what I am starting to do the more and more you spout of nonesense yourself.” – You mean “the more and more you spout OFF nonsense”? And also “the more and more” is not correct grammar.
I thought you said you were smart?
Haha.
Riveting. Stupid, but riveting.
Aww…you know just what to say, at just the right time. How do you do it?
He’s a man, it’s easy. The most well thought out, in depth questions always seem to have the most simple and elementary answers. Women call men vicious names and they consider a right of passage. A man does the same and suddenly it’s domestic violence. Kiss our man ass; stick a fork in it, men have had their fill of women’s endless crap.
Women want power over men. Fucking well said!
Thats part of being a woman.
Not to whores like you.
You’re such a sweet talker.
Ph.D. in woman’s B.S. Good job, your momma has trained you well. Wrong, but well.
Somehow I don’t think you would really like to know what I think of women like you.
Don’t worry. I know that’s your special way of saying I like you Clair. :)
And you’re a cunt. I know which of the 2 I would rather be. Now kindly (or unkindly) fuck off.