What’s On Oxygen At 11:30PM?
I was sent this question by Marco the Man.
I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host. Why are most talk-show hosts men?
All late night talk-show hosts are men because people are trying to have sex during “late night”. There’s nothing that’s more unpleasant to hear during sex than a woman comedian laughing awkwardly at her own jokes, while a studio audience sits in silence, twiddling their funny-bones.
Sex is why Leno has higher ratings than Letterman. The presence of a black man in the bedroom (even on television) sends women into a frenetic sexual hysteria. Paul Schafer is not even a little bit black.
Letterman is so manly he even has “man” right there in his name.
If women hosted late night talk shows, every single joke in every single monologue would be followed by one woman monkey-shrieking with laughter: the host. Women laugh like pigs getting branded. And they orgasm just like they laugh. I don’t want to hear either of that shit coming from my television set after midnight. My neighbors might think I’m some sort of porn addict.
That’s bad because my neighbors watch a lot of Law and Order, and on that show, the porn addicts are always stashing bodies somewhere.
To judge the “goodness” of something, I find a reliable indicator is to gage how much women dislike that something.
For example: ass slapping. Women pretend like they hate getting slapped on the ass, but they love it. It’s a good thing. Also, hearing how much weight they’ve gained or how much they act like their mother. Ignoring a spare tire isn’t going to make it go away. Ignoring is bad. Honesty is good. Rewarding a woman for muttering to herself when she takes issue with something isn’t going to discourage that behavior. That’s like jerking off a dog because he won’t stop humping your leg. That’s sick and wrong.
Men are better than women.
Women dislike late night talk-shows. They would rather watch reruns of Everyone Loves Raymond because that way it would be completely fucking impossible for anyone to have sex with anyone – even themselves.
Late night talk-shows are commercial and promotional machines. If women were hosts, their attention mongering and greed would be the twenty-pound, greasy wrench that ruined the music, movie, and publishing industries.
It takes four women to host the View and that’s only possible because they all hate each other, and their audience is just slightly dumber than the group watching The Wiggles.
Women will never be late night talk-show hosts because a Jeep commercial and a musical interlude is not a perfect segue into a woman talking about her cheating husband. Maybe he cheated because she’s the kind of woman who would go on national television and talk about it. Maybe she preemptively deserved it?
No, that’s not true. That would mean some women don’t pre-emptively deserve it.
Related Articles:
Pages: « 5 4 3 [2] 1 » Show All
Ouch, that’s cold.
Here’s a question (because I have observed the same) - why do women like having their asses slapped? I propose it’s because violence implies subjugation, and subjugation implies ownership, and it is the goal of a women to be owned/belong to a man, in a sexual sense. A slap on the ass is like saying “I choose you”.
Oh, it was you, Chris. Speak up next time! I could barely hear you. What, are you mumbling?
1. I had an ex that loved her ass being slapped - in public and privately.
This is so true, I don’t know why you’re bothering with it.
2. I’ve never laughed at a woman’s joke, and I cannot think of any women comedy acts that don’t blow big time. I know lots of women that have and would say the same.
Also true. Except for Wanda Sykes.
3. Please ignore Catherine. She won’t leave (even though she said she would on at least two occasions), she’s irritating, and she has nothing to add, clogging up the threads instead.
Yes, that would be your best chance at getting rid of me. Though, of course, you’ll never be COMPLETELY rid of me, because I’d live on your memory as the woman you most loved to hear tell you when you were wrong.
Wha - huh? Did someone just say something?
All of this is true:
1. I had an ex that loved her ass being slapped - in public and privately.
2. I’ve never laughed at a woman’s joke, and I cannot think of any women comedy acts that don’t blow big time. I know lots of women that have and would say the same.
3. Please ignore Catherine. She won’t leave (even though she said she would on at least two occasions), she’s irritating, and she has nothing to add, clogging up the threads instead.
uh.. I don’t think my girlfriend would approve.
:|
Shweet! Do another one! Do another one!
I’ll do a Catholic school student, and you can eat my brains.
C!!!!! C!!!!!!!
Yeah, I’ll man the kegger of Boddingtons and get the vidcam. We can form a “gauntlet” and slap the asses of ALL the women that come onto this site.
Holly shit, Oxygen, “life” “WE”, “chickflicks”. Why would anyone cater to women in such a way that taints reality.
The common thread with “women” related media is that it’s ok to cheat on your spouse, lie, be a cunt, and have sex with underaged males if you’re a bitch twice his age in the name of “romance”.
I just had a brain boner, Why don’t we contact MTV to do another “The Real World” and we can invite Dick, Howard Sterns, Germain Greer, Gloria Steinem, Ron Jeremy, Soladad Obrien (who’s sexy beyond belief) and that black gentleman from the “Tanqueray” gin commercial (it’s manly to be black with a brittish accent).
Shove them all together in a well stocked mansion for a week and run the cameras, man, that would be great!
POP QUIZ;
Your girlfriend tells you that she’s fat, you:
a) Tell her you like a little meat with your potatos.
b) Tell her that she has a great ass and you noticed that her boobs are much bigger now and give her the credit card and get that new wardrobe she’s wanted.
c) Tell her that you were channel surfing and saw an episode
of Oxygen and they said that the enzymes in sperm actually burn callories (the more sperm consumed, the more callories lost) plus the protein in sperm provides soft, supple and youthful skin.
-Banzai
*does a nun zombie*
Fine. Can you do a giraffe?
Yer not the boss of me!
Go do that somewhere else evileddy, you’re distracting me from the ass-slapping.
*starts making cool shadow puppets on the wall*
“For example: ass slapping. Women pretend like they hate getting slapped on the ass, but they love it. ”
I’m ready for you, dick. But you’ll have to wait in line, cause sonyad’s first.
Maybe one of the other men here can entertain you while you wait.
Thank god. Let’s hope he’s doing a talent search.
I confess I did not read the article.
They found kiddy porn on the guy’s pc. What more is there to it?
The only thing left to establish is whether it’s his porn or he’s such a twit with computers he didn’t know it got on there after someone else used his computer.
Or whether the computer technician planted them himself and changed the timestamps.
Maybe ET planted an extra drive full of kiddie porn the night before, while he was sound asleep.
Sure…
Not quite reasonable propositions of the imagination, wouldn’t you say?
But then, neither is being dumb enough to take your comp. to servicing knowing full well the shit you’ve got on there.
Now, perhaps Ral, P cod and fellow loonies feel differently than not including child pornography under the first amendment and would even go so far as to claim that infringing on the personal privacy of the man should cause the evidence to be inadmissible.
Shucks, they prolly feel search warrants actually impinge on basic human rights and dignities (even though no probable cause was required seeing how he willingly forwarded the evidence towards imminent discovery) which, truth be told, they’d rather were upheld or enforced by no one.
But such opinions from the likes of them is self explanatory.
Wolfe, I’m surprised you’ve not come afoul of the man seeing what views he holds on matters such as race and the treatment of African American citizens by American society at large and the ‘welfare state’ (ha!).
I smell bullshit. And cow(/cod)shit.
Disturbing? I wouldn’t say that at all. That humans, like every other animal, are motivated by rewards for good behaviour and “unmotivated” by punishment for bad behaviour is just common sense. Nothing bad or frightening about it.
@Ral, a few quick thoughts.
First, presumption of innocence applies to jurors. As citizens we’re perfectly at liberty to assume guilt or innocence as we please.
Second, on search and seizure… it comes down to expectations of privacy. If you take your computer to Best Buy to be fixed, well, you’ve surrendered some degree of privacy. Have you surrendered enough to allow a police officer to search it? I don’t know. It’s an interesting question.
IIRC, courts have held that your garbage may be searched legally without a warrant.
As for the rest, what you say is sensible.
@Alexander
“Damn, there’s this vacant space in my ear where a Dick should be.”
Indeed. No podcast.
“humans, in particular women, respond to the same training regimes as dogs.”
There is a disturbing degree of truth to this.
-wolfe
Damn, there’s this vacant space in my ear where a Dick should be.
I’ve been trying to explain to my friend that humans, in particular women, respond to the same training regimes as dogs. If you don’t mind, I’ll borrow this particular section as a clever way to describe why he should stop giving in to his wife’s bad behaviour.