What’s On Oxygen At 11:30PM?
I was sent this question by Marco the Man.
I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host. Why are most talk-show hosts men?
All late night talk-show hosts are men because people are trying to have sex during “late night”. There’s nothing that’s more unpleasant to hear during sex than a woman comedian laughing awkwardly at her own jokes, while a studio audience sits in silence, twiddling their funny-bones.
Sex is why Leno has higher ratings than Letterman. The presence of a black man in the bedroom (even on television) sends women into a frenetic sexual hysteria. Paul Schafer is not even a little bit black.
Letterman is so manly he even has “man” right there in his name.
If women hosted late night talk shows, every single joke in every single monologue would be followed by one woman monkey-shrieking with laughter: the host. Women laugh like pigs getting branded. And they orgasm just like they laugh. I don’t want to hear either of that shit coming from my television set after midnight. My neighbors might think I’m some sort of porn addict.
That’s bad because my neighbors watch a lot of Law and Order, and on that show, the porn addicts are always stashing bodies somewhere.
To judge the “goodness” of something, I find a reliable indicator is to gage how much women dislike that something.
For example: ass slapping. Women pretend like they hate getting slapped on the ass, but they love it. It’s a good thing. Also, hearing how much weight they’ve gained or how much they act like their mother. Ignoring a spare tire isn’t going to make it go away. Ignoring is bad. Honesty is good. Rewarding a woman for muttering to herself when she takes issue with something isn’t going to discourage that behavior. That’s like jerking off a dog because he won’t stop humping your leg. That’s sick and wrong.
Men are better than women.
Women dislike late night talk-shows. They would rather watch reruns of Everyone Loves Raymond because that way it would be completely fucking impossible for anyone to have sex with anyone – even themselves.
Late night talk-shows are commercial and promotional machines. If women were hosts, their attention mongering and greed would be the twenty-pound, greasy wrench that ruined the music, movie, and publishing industries.
It takes four women to host the View and that’s only possible because they all hate each other, and their audience is just slightly dumber than the group watching The Wiggles.
Women will never be late night talk-show hosts because a Jeep commercial and a musical interlude is not a perfect segue into a woman talking about her cheating husband. Maybe he cheated because she’s the kind of woman who would go on national television and talk about it. Maybe she preemptively deserved it?
No, that’s not true. That would mean some women don’t pre-emptively deserve it.
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That fact that you’re an ass.
What’s your fucking beef with me, dude? So I tore up your post because you didn’t put an ounce of thought into it. Write a better post next time. Be a man and get over it. The grudges are soooooo tatoos and nipple piercings.
Anus_of_a_model_by_David_Shankbone.jpg
Really?! Cross your heart and hope to die atop a turd?
- Bump - Im Rushing (Dave Spoon Vocal Mix)
I’d shit a condom-inium all by my little self if you could come up with a valid reference for that figure.
Sonyad, the reference is right here on Wikipedia.
“Please, I’m almost begging for it. Hell, I am begging for it!”
Cathy, you are turning me on more and more every day!
ARE YOU THERE, DICK? IT’S ME, CATHERINE!!!”
That dude seems more like god all the time. Never fulfills a direct request, and then slaps you upside the head when you least expect it.
That’s so mild an insult, I smell something of a peace offering about it, Chris. Plus, you’re still talking to me. Perhaps wolfe was right. I know you can’t be nice to me without losing man points, so I’m going to take this for way more than its face value and assume you’re one of the good ones.
@god I promise, if you tell me to get the fuck of the site I will!!! Please, I’m almost begging for it. Hell, I am begging for it!
“Will you supply the meat?”
“I’m ready for you, dick. But you’ll have to wait in line, cause sonyad’s first.”
Rather brazen comments, Cathy. :)
Mustard or mayo? Wheat or white? Will you supply the meat?
Than you’ll know all about taking the liberty of making me a sandwich.
- Nick Douglas - Identity
sonyad, if you’re ever tempted to think you’ve read me incorrectly (and it sounds like you were, above), don’t second-guess yourself. My admiration is sincere and total.
And oddly, enough, I’m more libertarian than liberal, myself. ;)
You and wolfe (and a few others here) are gems winking all the brighter for being surrounded by shit like P Coderach and Denrael. I know you think men are better than women, and I don’t give a flying rat’s ass, because you are gentlemen. Keep up the good fight.
And if that doesn’t get a “Get the hell off my site” from Dick I don’t know what will. Truth be told, I don’t know why he hasn’t told me that already.
I’d shit a condom-inium all by my little self if you could come up with a valid reference for that figure.
That, just like damn nigh all the libertarian dogma factoids and outright falsehoods you unoriginally try and foist upon the immaculately witless, is bullshit.
Also, you’re hardly the first libertarian to attempt shameless indoctrination here.
Your incumbent if out of sight predecessor, Dakota Smith, even went so far as to threaten to round me up with the other socialites and socialists (quoted liberally) and kill me when the purportedly utopic time of libertarianism finally arrives…
…and pigs sprout wings.
Which might not actually be that far off, considering…
Go fuck a dog.
- popcorn - in focus (manuel perez rework)
If that’s your little psych. ploy to bait a pleading reaction out of me don’t hold your breath. Purple doesn’t suit you that well.
- popcorn - in focus (manuel perez rework)
Stop typing with your mouth full.
- Studio 33 - Gigi D’Agostino ( The Best Album 2004 )
@ wolfe I spent some of my lunch break reading 23 of Chris’ comments. I failed to uncover any pearls of wisdom, but as a mark of my great respect for you, I will refrain from further attack.
@all I realize that my comments are going downhill as well, and are no longer offering even entertainment value. Most of you are even tired of insulting me - which I suppose is an achievement in and of itself.
I’m going to shut the hell up for a while now. But not because Chris called me a cunt. It’s because I know if I keep blabbering Sonyad will get tired of me.
@ wolfe Chris sees brightly? I must have missed this. I will click on his ip hash then, and see. No doubt you are right, as you most often are.
@Chris I can’t help but wonder if you want me to stick around, since you fail to follow your own advice, even after I told you it was the best way to get rid of me.
@Denrael Mantastic job of completely ignoring me!
Where is this from? My ancient greek governmental philosophy ended with The Republic , where lying to your citizens was encouraged.
Aristotle and Constitutions:
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/aristotle-politics/
Sony, why don’t you just relax?
It’s not very funny and even when it is, it’s too inside-baseball.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
-wolfe
Ha! The wolfemeister ate an alcoholically comatose sheep!
Are you going Alpine then, wolfe?
For shame. You’ve no ounce of brand loyalty, you corporate whore!
- Gigi D’Agostino - Le Serpent
I regret and withdraw the reference to “Sony’s pickup operations” unconditionally.
I apologize to all for using such a phrase. Otherwise, I withdraw nothing.
@Catherine why the hostility to Chris? He sees brightly, but he sees oh so very very differently from you.
@Chris Why care about Catharine? She and hers do to be sure, as they should. A stupid c*nt? Well, I’d hate to meet a clever c*nt.
She is what she is and has never pretended otherwise.
Talk about the myriad ways in which men are better than women.
Do not be distracted by SonyAD’s pickup operations. Or, well, simply women talking. As they should.
After all, even the blind squirrel can find a nut.
@Catherine, whither and why? Answer this to thine own self before anything else.
-wolfe