The 300 And When Women Evolved Mouths
If you haven’t seen this movie called The 300, then you need to do it immediately. As a man, it might be the most important film you ever see.
The message of The 300 is clear from the first ten seconds — ten seconds that don’t fuck around at all even for one of those seconds.
Are you a man? Awesome. Are you a woman? Fuck you.
Men are better than women.
The 300 is a blood-soaked, war-mongering sausage-fest of violence and gore. It’s about the battle for freedom in the mythical land of Sparta against all these dicks from somewhere I don’t give a shit about. More importantly, The 300 is about how all men are ass-kicking machines with abs of steel and how everyone else in the world can kiss our ass.
There was this one part in The 300 where a guy pulled a sword out of his own arm. When I saw that, something immediately came to mind.
That is not the manliest thing I’ve ever seen.
I have seen a man pull a fish hook the size a pencil out of his hand. I have seen a man lift a Jeep. I have seen a man pay for the dinners of more than six people at the same time.
That’s manly.
When has a woman ever paid for the dinners of six people? Fucking never. I guess women can’t count to seven, or at least they can’t divide by it, because every time a check arrives that has more digits on the left side of the period than it does on the right, every woman at the table tries to emphasize her rack as much as possible. That is, unless she’s already passed out in your lap like a fucking five-year-old.
Here’s a question. When the check comes, why do women hum and haw and pretend like anyone expects them to pay for anything? Not a single man in the world expects a fully fed woman to reach for her wallet. Her arms have obviously become too engorged on a feast she could never hope to value because she has no fucking frame of reference for fine cuisine.
Women eating at a restaurant is like you getting dropped off in the middle of Star Wars behind the counter of an intergalactic Hot Dog on a Stick.
”I’d like to purchase a Grooble Grobble, please.”
Well good for them, because you have no idea how much anything costs in Star Wars and no idea how much money is worth. That’s a woman to a ‘T’.
In The 300, no woman was ever asked for her opinion about anything.
There was a time in the world when women shut the fuck up, and why this ended I have never fully attempted to wrap my man brain around. Well The 300 showed me why.
Today, men run the world. We build computers and helicopters and we make cars faster and safer. We mine the coal that bakes the iron that shapes the lead of the overpriced bed little princesses from nine to ninety lay their heads on night after night.
Men ruled the world in Sparta too, but when we did it with a sword and rock hard abs women could see it with their eyes like it was a finger painting. You could take a woman a half mile out of town and say, “See all that ass kicking going on over there? Shut the fuck up.”
Today, men still do everything. The problem is women don’t understand computers and shit. They think it’s magic. They think they did it somehow — by wanting to fuck a rockstar.
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The last paragraph of this article succinctly sums up modern women !
No it was a real war…
The movie however O_O
I know you have to be kidding.
@ Matt
Aww come on now, we’re not all so terrible are we…? ;) haha, I can just imagine what kind of answer I will get to that…
No, this site is still off limits for females.
Finally =) A normal woman I can relate to on here ;)
Semantics = Coolest female ever.
I think that most of you guys are right.
Marriage should have alot of sex…I agree that marriage was created for the sole purpose of keeping whores out of existence, so claiming “your woman” in order to obtain tons of sex is a pretty reasonable thing. I don’t understand why so many women have a problem with that.
I would leave my spouse if they stopped having sex with me. Marriage is for sex, as made clear before…if I wanted a relationship with mushy lies and Iloveyou’s, and no sex, I would just get an un-serious relationship…
By the way, I’m a female. Haha…I agree with what most of these statements of why Men are better than women, but not all women are like that.
Some are good, and don’t act like fucking morons.
I like to think that I don’t fall into the fucking moron category…
I enjoy this site, it makes me laugh. You all have very good points, haha.
Well, Dick, not to contradict your awesomeness, but Leonidas DID look over at his wife for an opinion when he was about to pwn the fuck out of that messenger.
Even in the movie, though, they respected women. Because “Only brave Spartan women give birth to real men”. Therefore, unless you have Spartan in your bloodline, we’re all women, and this website is a fucking paradox.
Nice comeback on Dr. Phil, btw
Banzai, that is perhaps the most manly of manly man-rants I have seen in a long time.
The best part? There is a lazy ass female out there somewhere that can’t get you to pay for her shit………….a True Man!
Fuck Dr. Phil, Banzai should help men with manly man-psychology.
(Head fucks aren’t cheap either you know)
Sorry, I goofed this up somehow. This is a continuance to my response to FMW above.
I read further and the add read something like this:
“single, stay at home mom of two seeking mature, stable and generous man. Must love children.
Holy crap, Let’s filter this through our man brain.
What it really says is:
“ARE THERE ANY MEN OUT THERE THAT CAN BAIL ME OUT BECAUSE I’M SUCH A FUCKEN LAZY CUNT AND CAN’T KEEP A MAN”
I’m lazy and will not cook, clean or fuck, but I will expect to be married asap and will expect all the perks, rights and privilages of a marriage without regards to your rights of that agreement.
I want to go out every night and party with other like-minded crack whores (don’t wait up for me).
Since you have money, I won’t waste my time bettering myself and besides, when this joyride of a marriage is over, I’ll simply take you to the cleaners for a fist-fucking of epic proportions.
I can’t believe my ex kicked me to the curb for continually withholding sex (I did buy him a “fleshlight” on our anniversary).
BTW, I’ll expect you to adopt my kids and put them through college.
Please hurry as my welfare is about to run out and mom says the rent is due. I can’t support my kids and don’t even know who their fathers are. What I do know about them is they liked to get “jiggy wid it”
I hope your rich because “crack”, “crystal meth” and my addictions to expensive clothing, and clubbing are not cheap.
You get the gist.
Man, how blatant. How scarry. Hard to believe that there are women that roam the earth with grandiose expectations.
-Banzai
FMW,
I couldn’t agree more!! I was humoring myself the other day and couldn’t help but notice a personal add in my local paper. The bold header said “ARE THERE ANY REAL MEN OUT THERE”
You three guys are cracking me up here.
Same here.. till they open their mouths and fat smelly chunks of stupid start falling out.
Male lesbian. Hmm… Wonder if that would get points with Diversity Committees.
-wolfe
Good point, haha.
I guess that means I am a male lesbian (however contradictive it is).
To be honest though, I am attracted to women. Sometimes.
It just means that you have an advantage. You’ll save lots of $$$ because you don’t have to buy strap-ons.
Really? I did not know. (Curse whoever ratted me out) Does that mean I get some sort of P-pass? Not that I need it.
Extra, extra, read all about it. Talon is a lesbian!
Short and to the point. Well done.
Of course, you still fail.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche
“Terms such as shower pocket, douchebag, d-bag, DB, doucherama, doucher, douche turd, douchington, douche nozzle, wobbulating douch, douche nugget, douche gasket, creme’ le douche, or simply douche are considered pejorative terms in Australia, the United States, Canada and New Zealand.The slang usage of the term dates back to the 1960s.[4] Initially, it was used to insult a woman, originating as an insult derived from lesbian activities.”
Wow, I feel so offended.
You could not possibly be further off target.
Douchebags.