When Women Should Shut the Fuck Up
People are always asking me what the qualities of the perfect wife are. Mostly men. That’s because women don’t give a fuck about what makes a perfect wife.
Have you ever seen a “romantic” comedy? I say “romantic” because what it should be is “woman” comedy — and by woman I mean “shitty” or “not a”. Those bullshit movies are all about how horrible and fucking stupid women can behave whilst the right thing to do is staring them in face like a Stop sign, and how some poor schmuck with a job that lets him loaf around town all day doing nothing can be guilted into putting up with getting fucked over for two hours and calling a spade with a shrew nose a fucking prize pig by the end of it all.
Maybe instead of romantic comedies they should be called documentaries.
The perfect wife is one who knows when to shut the fuck up. That’s it. I think Indiana Jones said it best.
“You’re insulting them and you’re embarrassing me.” -Indiana Jones
That’s all women do when they speak: insult and embarrass; them and me respectively. That’s why the perfect wife just has to know when to shut the fuck up. I’ve always said women are like works of art. Even if they’re atrocious and moody (which they mostly are) they can be enjoyed because you can look away or close your eyes whenever you’re done with them.
For some help on this topic, here’s my helpful set of rules for women on knowing when the fuck to shut the fuck up. I call it Dick’s Guide On The Prudence Of Women Shutting The Fuck Up.
1. Shut up when a man is talking or when a man starts to talk.
2. Shut up when a man stops talking suddenly.
That first rule is a man-obvious one, even wild animals follow it. The second, however, is the key to the perfect wife. It’s the extra mile. See, when a woman is speaking and insulting and embarrassing everyone, the man she’s with will likely stop speaking from insult or embarrassment. It happens every day. I used to be a bartender so you can trust me on that one.
Imagine you’re at a cricket match. You don’t know how the game works because fucking no one does, but you know when to cheer and when to leave. It’s because everyone else is doing it. That’s all I’m saying here. Women don’t know how to speak or be civilized. It’s like cricket to them. Women just need to take their cues on shutting the fuck up from everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s smart (womanly speaking).
Let me put it like this. You know how we have toilets as a species? That’s because running around shitting all over ourselves and sleeping in it is for animals, not for humans. Humans doing it would be embarrassing. When women speak it’s exactly the same thing. It makes all men feel a little less human. It reminds us that yes, we too were once running around shitting all over ourselves and trying to eat fucking rocks or some stupid shit like that — something nearly as stupid as a twenty minute conversation on why American football is “practically the same game” that football is in the rest of the world.
What the fuck?
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this is my first time here, this also the first time that i have been at a website that makes sence and is not boring i love it! i always here woman say they are better than men, not true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! men r the best gender its fact!!! keep up the great work!
One of the most awesome videos of all time, diamatik. Total Masculine Kudos to mike for finding it.
-wolfe
When should women shut the fuck up? Well, the answer has been on this site in the Man Forums all the time. Here is an instructional video that explains everything.
Kudos to mike for finding it.
Hi Ana, welcome to the site. Indeed, yours is one of the rare female critiques that is at least articulate, albeit completely wrong.
No, no one wants blind obedience. If we did, as you correctly note, we’d get a dog. It’s not clear what your objections are… other than to the general notion of the site and the tone of this thread.
Are facts eluding you? Or is it something else?
Best,
-wolfe
Wow! An anomaly right before our eyes. Yes, I do realize that Ana’s post is based on emotion and lacks logic, but the interesting thing is that the post does not contain the typical feminine retorts. Congrats to you Ana, you are a rare credit to your gender (if you really are a woman).
Wow! You have issues don’t you? Why so much anger? When we lash out and make these gross generalizations about a gender or race, not only is it incredibly stupid, it is sad. What are you lacking that makes you such an angry, intolerant, harsh person? It takes maturity, self-control and generosity to be in a good relationship. Take a good, hard look at yourself, is this who you really want to be? You are truly frightening! I don’t think men are better than women or women are better than men. That is an argument that should have ended in 7th grade. Partners/spouses need to honor and listen to each other, not compete. You cannot have a wife with your attitude. You want obedience, you want to command. Get a dog. No, get a robot and do the dog a favor.
Veritas
-Strength and Honor-
Very well said, Mike.
-wolfe
So true Mike, so true.
“When a woman shares her problems with a man, she is not looking for solutions – she needs someone to listen to her.”
I’m sure we’ve all heard this one before. It makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Unless you are a man, In which case it makes about as much sense as defacating on your own doorstep.
Jesus Christ, imagine if all men sounded like this;
Ben: “I have a bad headache”
Bob: “Have you tried taking an aspirin?”
Ben: “STFU!!! I was only saying, I have a headache Goddamnit!!”
Bob: “….”
Could this be why most women are such poor problem solvers? Are they too busy relishing all the attention, drama and emotion that problems create?
Absolutely.
I always hate it when robots come on here and start ragging on humans. We made you and we can destroy you. Now go back to making cars and shut the fuck up.
On a non-sarcastic note, another good point Dick, something about romantic comedies always piss me off. I hate their message that treating a man like shit is acceptable, and that laziness, thoughtlessness, and arrogance and somehow supposed to be rewarded.
Kinonai, if you’re saying what I think you’re saying, that women are stupid and that men are better than them, then I completely agree with you.
-Dick
I think the general rule is that everyone’s stupid, and therefore they should all shut up. Every human on the face of this earth, despite their gender or race, is incompetent beyond belief. So, when I find a site saying that one human is better than another human, I really can do nothing but laugh; we’re all trash, no matter how we look, and does a pile of decomposed walnut shells have the right to say it’s better than a decomposed pile of peanut shells? It’s all just dirt…
That movie had some seriously good quotes in it.
Mantastic.
-Big Al
I wouldn’t assume all of them are new. And yeah, amazing spam filtering. Worked very well in your absence.
-wolfe
It was an unavoidable absence. Seems like there\’s not much cleaning to do; merely a few new harpies who can feel free to fuck off my site.
-Dick
Glad to see you’re back posting Dick.
Good rules.
-wolfe