When Women Should Shut the Fuck Up

People are always asking me what the qualities of the perfect wife are. Mostly men. That’s because women don’t give a fuck about what makes a perfect wife.

Have you ever seen a “romantic” comedy? I say “romantic” because what it should be is “woman” comedy — and by woman I mean “shitty” or “not a”. Those bullshit movies are all about how horrible and fucking stupid women can behave whilst the right thing to do is staring them in face like a Stop sign, and how some poor schmuck with a job that lets him loaf around town all day doing nothing can be guilted into putting up with getting fucked over for two hours and calling a spade with a shrew nose a fucking prize pig by the end of it all.

Maybe instead of romantic comedies they should be called documentaries.

The perfect wife is one who knows when to shut the fuck up. That’s it. I think Indiana Jones said it best.

“You’re insulting them and you’re embarrassing me.” -Indiana Jones

That’s all women do when they speak: insult and embarrass; them and me respectively. That’s why the perfect wife just has to know when to shut the fuck up. I’ve always said women are like works of art. Even if they’re atrocious and moody (which they mostly are) they can be enjoyed because you can look away or close your eyes whenever you’re done with them.

For some help on this topic, here’s my helpful set of rules for women on knowing when the fuck to shut the fuck up. I call it Dick’s Guide On The Prudence Of Women Shutting The Fuck Up.

1. Shut up when a man is talking or when a man starts to talk.
2. Shut up when a man stops talking suddenly.

That first rule is a man-obvious one, even wild animals follow it. The second, however, is the key to the perfect wife. It’s the extra mile. See, when a woman is speaking and insulting and embarrassing everyone, the man she’s with will likely stop speaking from insult or embarrassment. It happens every day. I used to be a bartender so you can trust me on that one.

Imagine you’re at a cricket match. You don’t know how the game works because fucking no one does, but you know when to cheer and when to leave. It’s because everyone else is doing it. That’s all I’m saying here. Women don’t know how to speak or be civilized. It’s like cricket to them. Women just need to take their cues on shutting the fuck up from everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s smart (womanly speaking).

Let me put it like this. You know how we have toilets as a species? That’s because running around shitting all over ourselves and sleeping in it is for animals, not for humans. Humans doing it would be embarrassing. When women speak it’s exactly the same thing. It makes all men feel a little less human. It reminds us that yes, we too were once running around shitting all over ourselves and trying to eat fucking rocks or some stupid shit like that — something nearly as stupid as a twenty minute conversation on why American football is “practically the same game” that football is in the rest of the world.

What the fuck?

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218 Comments in 210 threads.»

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Comment by dida
2008-04-07 05:12:45

there is no need to waste time on iossues like this
hksjh

 
Comment by son of the suns
2008-03-26 19:26:33

Cuck says what?

 
Comment by brazzle
2008-03-26 18:11:22

ummmmm…

1.) you have way to much fuckin time on your hands
2.) you are a gigantic homosexual

it’s degenerates like you who are ruining this country. honestly… like 12 people really care what you think and are all fucking ape shit about it. other than that, your opinion really doesn’t matter and it is also kind of sad.

i really don’t understand why you have so much hate in your life… it really is not good for you. i bet you what happened was this guy got COMPLETELY dicked over by some woman that he was maaaadly in love with and then just flew off the handle with rage.

it’s okay. at least you have your cute little website to take your anger out on :)

faaaaaaggggggg

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

 
Comment by Dan
2008-03-19 10:14:06

Ok, you know, when i first saw this article i thought it was a joke. Men are better than women and all that? Load of shit!

1) You can’t have sex without women.
2) You may say they’re useless, but judging by the sort of person you are,
I’m guessing it’s not you who does your cleaning. It’s probably a woman, and if you go to the dry cleaners, there may be women working there!
3) There are millions of women working, probably right now and without them the economy would be totally destabilized.
4) Without women, you can’t have children and the human race WOULD NOT EXIST!
5) Women don’t have any of the male bravado shit which has clearly found its way to you in the masses.

Let me just ask, with that sort of mentality, how many girlfriends have YOU had? Obviously not much, because no sane woman would want to go out with somebody who treated them like shit on their shoe.

Also, to G money, first, I think you need to deal with your racism as you wrote: This country would rather have a black president that a women, sad, but true. Black people are just as important as white people, you ignorant fool. But, getting to the point, what you said about woman not being famous or doing anything, want to know why? BECAUSE OF ARROGANT PRICKS LIKE YOU AND THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE NOT GIVING THEM A CHANCE.

Is your wife getting back with you soon, writer of the article? I hope she isn’t, the way you feel. You’re obviously just a stupid prick, and i have 2 sentences to prove this:

Have you ever seen a “romantic” comedy? I say “romantic” because what it should be is “woman” comedy — and by woman I mean “shitty” or “not a”. Those bullshit movies are all about how horrible and fucking stupid women can behave whilst the right thing to do is staring them in face like a Stop sign, and how some poor schmuck with a job that lets him loaf around town all day doing nothing can be guilted into putting up with getting fucked over for two hours and calling a spade with a shrew nose a fucking prize pig by the end of it all.

You’re just too fucking stupid to understand these movies because of your mindframe! And 2:

Imagine you’re at a cricket match. You don’t know how the game works because fucking no one does, but you know when to cheer and when to leave.

Um, i’m just 13, and yet I know how a fucking cricket match works, and most people do. Oh no wait, correction. Most people who aren’t arrogant men who are never going to get laid EVER.

You need to get a life, or all you’re going to be reduced to is some stupid fat 60 year old sitting on his mother’s chair having a wank whilst occasionally getting phone calls from other stupid fuckers like you. GET A LIFE.

Oh and BTW i say all this, as a MAN.

 
Comment by greencyn
2008-03-12 11:53:12

I agree, why is anyone wasting their time debating on this website? Whether this is just a joke site, or whether this guy really is the idiot he presents himself as, there really is no point in spending a lot of time posting intelligent arguments here. There are better things to do! … And i’m sure i’ll regret stumbling on this crap website, and spending 30 seconds making this comment.

 
Comment by greencyn
2008-03-12 11:52:24

i agree, why is anoyone wasting their time debating on this website? Whether this is just a joke site, or whether this guy really is the idiot he presents himself as, there really is no point in spending a lot of time postnig inlelligent arguments here. THere are better things to do! .. And i’m sure i’ll regret stumbling on this crap website, and spending 30 seconds making this comment.

 
Comment by Danny
2008-03-10 16:40:00

Anonymous said:

I am going to kill all of you. I swear. You think this is a joke and I can’t do it, but I swear to God, before the end of my life I will ensure that you die.
You are going to laugh at this, you are going to talk about how I must be a woman, how I need to shut up, etc. It’s fine.

I’m at 40 deg 50′03.25N/74 deg 30′25.51W

Come on down anytime!

 
Comment by Muzalon
2008-03-10 16:22:31

Anonymous said:

I am going to kill all of you. I swear. You think this is a joke and I can’t do it, but I swear to God, before the end of my life I will ensure that you die.
You are going to laugh at this, you are going to talk about how I must be a woman, how I need to shut up, etc. It’s fine.

You sound like someone to whom this subject is a sore one, friend.

 
Comment by Anonymous
2008-03-10 16:02:34

I am going to kill all of you. I swear. You think this is a joke and I can’t do it, but I swear to God, before the end of my life I will ensure that you die.
You are going to laugh at this, you are going to talk about how I must be a woman, how I need to shut up, etc. It’s fine.

 
Comment by Doubt
2008-02-23 06:27:24

Fire Wife said:

Are you gay? What the fuck would you do without a women? You call us trash and empty space….if we were not around where would you put your fucking nasty cock! when it comes to sex we are not empty space are we?

Your mother must suck you off pretty good if your faggot ass is so anti-women!!

FUCK OFF PRICK!!!

We are always right.
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/mael.txt
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/t.txt
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/krs.txt
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/rch.txt

 
Comment by Fire Wife
2008-02-23 01:28:51

Are you gay? What the fuck would you do without a women? You call us trash and empty space….if we were not around where would you put your fucking nasty cock! when it comes to sex we are not empty space are we?

Your mother must suck you off pretty good if your faggot ass is so anti-women!!

FUCK OFF PRICK!!!

 
Comment by Arbalest
2008-02-21 15:19:04

This country would rather have a black president that a women, sad, but true. I guess what I am trying to say is this site is fucked up… Period!!

…Someone tell me that was a idiot and not a regular american. That hurts my brain to read.

 
Comment by Muzalon
2008-02-21 08:53:56

Doubt said:

Wait… could it be?
Holy shit, this could be a suicide note! 1 less man married to a superficial western girl - good way to start the day.

I’m sure he’ll be less garrulous after the Divorce…

 
Comment by Doubt
2008-02-21 04:46:49

Wait… could it be?
Holy shit, this could be a suicide note! 1 less man married to a superficial western girl - good way to start the day.

 
Comment by Doubt
2008-02-21 04:41:38

Ha ha. No.
What kind of a fucking loser is so self-absorbed that they think they are the center of the universe? People like that should be lined up and shot.

 
Comment by g money
2008-02-21 04:29:05

Wow!!! I do not understand it; I love pussy and like most women. Not all of them… fat ones, black ones, and ugly ones… no way; but Oprah…ehh, not a fan but I can respect she is richer than 99.9 percent of the male population. She has the power to crack this site and have everyone killed for a blunt. Please she could squirt piss on you in the characters of her name as you die slowly and painfully and they would never find out who did it. On the other hand, sorry ladies, the richest person in this country is a man and all the names that you hear of in the history books: Isaac Newton, Albert Einstien, Ulysses S Grant, Nostridomus (sp.check), Willard Philmore, Isaac B. Hayes, even two nobody persidents… all men! Even blacks get more attention than women: Martin Luther and his son JR, Ely Whitney, Barrack Obama is leading the poles. This country would rather have a black president that a women, sad, but true. I guess what I am trying to say is this site is fucked up… Period!! You can’t get your dick wet with out a women and any women trying to act out against this site is dumb and knows most of the content probably applies to them personnally on some level or another. It makes me laugh. “HA” If half you ingrate water fed muslce heads could talk nice mabye a women would like you. I need not tell my wife to shut up because i never stop talking; and we are happy and i am typing one hand right NOW WHILE HAVING SEX…. THAT RIGHT GUYS…… WITH A WOMAN! so i am screwing the enemy OMG atleast i don’t fuck mens asses!!!! All you dry dick wonders wow!!1 You have won my vote and most like to kill many women and cut off there breast and vaginas and wear them around the house like stickers…. serious canidates. Ladies get the fuck off this site please you are embarrassing yourselves many of your facts don’t make sense and if they did it wouldn’t matter it is like using a flashlight of the surface of the sun RETARDED ALL YOU WOMEN WHO HAVE RESPONDED TO THIS SITE please learn when to shut the fuck up… (I just cum) Please that’s what this blog is about and guess what? Now is great time to start. Oh, hey guys; seriously; jerk off more or somthing….. make me sick you circle-jerking- cereal-killing-dry-dick Female-bashing-headero-phobic weirdos??? Jesus Christ i need to take a walk. Peace..

P.s. I won’t be coming back to this site… 10 IQ points is all I have to lose sitting typing on this website.

 
Comment by Doubt
2008-02-13 21:52:32

Once again, all western women are like this. We all know them, they’re all nothing but garbage. Stupid, liars, and hypocrites, always assuming they know more than the men doing all of the work. Oh, they could take over their own lives and accept responsibility, it’s just BELOW them to do so.
Let’s see how much longer you say that when in the blink of an eye you’re an lonely bloated 30-something with a useless, quota-enforced degree earned in a pro-pussy education environment and none of us will even give you the time of the day. Oh, karma is funny like that - and karma isn’t a bitch, he’s just fair.

 
Comment by King Wang
2008-02-13 21:26:06

Alright, with being totally confrontational, we should all remind Me why Manginas and being Lamely Gimp-ish is not cool.

But like all whiny retards, Me-opia is cracked the fuck out. Just more of the crack, with a hint of stupid.

I can’t deny banging your mother. She was damned good, even swallowed a little. Hey, gagging old gals is a MANS job, bitch.

Remember, being stupid AND speaking publicly are two things a Hunchback like yourself shouldn’t do. Like you said, one of you is a self-proclaimed Alcohol Whore (you know, flatbacking for free beer), and the other is not even good enough to be ME.

 
Comment by Me
2008-02-13 20:54:13

Alright, so without getting confrontational, I think we should all agree that the people on this website aren’t getting laid. Or they are retarded. Possibly a nasty combination of the two.

You can’t deny it. And I think it’s fucking hilarious, please keep at it.

 
Comment by beerbitch
2007-12-06 14:31:07

I find this whole debate utterly hilarious. Both sides are just ridiculous. Though I will say, the opposing side I view as pathetic. Why the hell do they try so hard to make a point. Its not worth their time an effort because they’re just feeding the thoughts of the unopposed. Obviously the person who wrote it is either not getting laid, or he really IS that big of an ass, so people shouldn’t waist their breath. Get over yourselves. If you wanna save the world, go do something more productive. I’m beerbitch and I am a chick. Peaceout.

 
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