When Women Should Shut the Fuck Up
People are always asking me what the qualities of the perfect wife are. Mostly men. That’s because women don’t give a fuck about what makes a perfect wife.
Have you ever seen a “romantic” comedy? I say “romantic” because what it should be is “woman” comedy — and by woman I mean “shitty” or “not a”. Those bullshit movies are all about how horrible and fucking stupid women can behave whilst the right thing to do is staring them in face like a Stop sign, and how some poor schmuck with a job that lets him loaf around town all day doing nothing can be guilted into putting up with getting fucked over for two hours and calling a spade with a shrew nose a fucking prize pig by the end of it all.
Maybe instead of romantic comedies they should be called documentaries.
The perfect wife is one who knows when to shut the fuck up. That’s it. I think Indiana Jones said it best.
“You’re insulting them and you’re embarrassing me.” -Indiana Jones
That’s all women do when they speak: insult and embarrass; them and me respectively. That’s why the perfect wife just has to know when to shut the fuck up. I’ve always said women are like works of art. Even if they’re atrocious and moody (which they mostly are) they can be enjoyed because you can look away or close your eyes whenever you’re done with them.
For some help on this topic, here’s my helpful set of rules for women on knowing when the fuck to shut the fuck up. I call it Dick’s Guide On The Prudence Of Women Shutting The Fuck Up.
1. Shut up when a man is talking or when a man starts to talk.
2. Shut up when a man stops talking suddenly.
That first rule is a man-obvious one, even wild animals follow it. The second, however, is the key to the perfect wife. It’s the extra mile. See, when a woman is speaking and insulting and embarrassing everyone, the man she’s with will likely stop speaking from insult or embarrassment. It happens every day. I used to be a bartender so you can trust me on that one.
Imagine you’re at a cricket match. You don’t know how the game works because fucking no one does, but you know when to cheer and when to leave. It’s because everyone else is doing it. That’s all I’m saying here. Women don’t know how to speak or be civilized. It’s like cricket to them. Women just need to take their cues on shutting the fuck up from everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s smart (womanly speaking).
Let me put it like this. You know how we have toilets as a species? That’s because running around shitting all over ourselves and sleeping in it is for animals, not for humans. Humans doing it would be embarrassing. When women speak it’s exactly the same thing. It makes all men feel a little less human. It reminds us that yes, we too were once running around shitting all over ourselves and trying to eat fucking rocks or some stupid shit like that — something nearly as stupid as a twenty minute conversation on why American football is “practically the same game” that football is in the rest of the world.
What the fuck?
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What is the European race? Ethnically, Europe is quite a heterogenetic place, though the majority of inhabitants are what one might call caucasians.
Aside from Taiwan, I doubt anyone has very much to fear, other than from an economical/commerce/environmental point of view, from China. For the foreseeable future, at least.
Though Taiwan is arguably technically and rightfully the ethnic Taiwanese’s (Han Chinese - 84%) its situation is akin to that of a sheep being guarded by two, quite sizable, wolves. The propping up, fattening wolf and the drooling wolf. Of course, no one, except the ethnic Taiwanese, would give a rat’s ass about the island. And no one ever did for quite some time. Except when the sheep’s Fleece turned gilded.
Now, America has undoubtedly made it quite clear to the somewhat thick local government not to dare antagonize Mainland China further by declaring independence. So Taiwan will likely never declare Independence and China would probably do nothing manifestly ostentatious even if it did, though it could a hell of a lot on rather short notice, especially since, to the best of my knowledge, Taiwan hasn’t even got an established airforce.
My own conjecture is that the two wolves and the sheep are all putting on a little ongoing play in cahoots for the viewing pleasure of the world’s stock markets.
After all, the motto is “Make trade, not war!” It’s all a matter of closed door negotiations on trade tariffs, quotas and restrictions. Whenever China doesn’t like the way things are progressing, she resorts to the tried and tested technique of scaring American (and not only) stock holders senseless.
That’s the trouble with capitalist empires, really. Evil, communist states have got you by the balls of your share holders.
America, on the other hand, has her precious dollars and WTO in her pocket and retaliates on Chinese imports.
And so on, and so forth.
The first and final, world government? At odds between China and the WTO.
God help us, either way.
- Mousse T - Horny
Kill feminism = save the European race and all Western peoples. Let it continue and in 50 years we will be slaves to Allah or Mao.
Rest I must..
Matriarchal socialism ie “feminism” has turned the Western world into a whore factory.
These little girls are so disgusting from such an early age - they have no respect for themselves and certainly no respect for their poor fathers, brothers and sons who alone will have to bear the shame. The little sluts just continue on their merry way to becoming bastard egg laying welfare queens - just like their piggish mothers before them. Mommy the cummie commie.
And the West wonders why the Islamic world laughs at us. Putting all else aside - at the end of the day at least their women respect them.
“Procrasinating couches”?
I fully believe you’re 13. Good advice you expended there, for your own self though: watch less telly and pick up a book for goodness’ sake.
Lest you grow up to be pro-crasinine.
- Xzibit - Alkaholik
13 huh?
Well it’s sad for you but you’re through maturing.
You’ve already learned all you will ever learn in this life.
You should just get your barbies out and leave the conversation to grown ups.
Shut the fuck up and go watch cartoons.
You guys are so fucking lifless for fighting and arguing about this shit. Why don’t you take your little lifeless selves back to your procrasinating couches and watch something on the tv like sports or somethin’. And to you women whom think we have the ability to type better than men, stfu. Ya’ll obviousley have no life. And fyi, I’m thirteen. And if I’m already this intelligent to see that you all are just wasting your lives being on your damn comp talking about your perfecto mundo dream wifeh, and not actually looking. Then that is a bit sad on behalf of all of your parts. You people disgust me.
woman’s brain didnt evolve to be logical, but to exploit and twist real (male) logic to her bratty little advantage - like a child. women are manipulation machines, it’s why men evolved to tune them out, unfortunately some of it gets through…
And dont you just love how the feminist spins it around to make men look like lunk heads and actually would have us believe that women do not think about sex.
Everything Ive read says women enjoy sex as much as gabbing with thier friends. This study is hilarious!
What we men knew to be true, has finnally been proven.Check this out:
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It is something one half of the population has long suspected - and the other half always vocally denied. Women really do talk more than men.
In fact, women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day - 13,000 more than the average man.
Read more…
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• Transformed in 40 weeks, woman with a new face
Women also speak more quickly, devote more brainpower to chit-chat - and actually get a buzz out of hearing their own voices, a new book suggests.
The book - written by a female psychiatrist - says that inherent differences between the male and female brain explain why women are naturally more talkative than men.
In The Female Mind, Dr Luan Brizendine says women devote more brain cells to talking than men.
And, if that wasn’t enough, the simple act of talking triggers a flood of brain chemicals which give women a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high.
Dr Brizendine, a self-proclaimed feminist, says the differences can be traced back to the womb, where the sex hormone testosterone moulds the developing male brain.
The areas responsible for communication, emotion and memory are all pared back the unborn baby boy.
The result is that boys - and men - chat less than their female counterparts and struggle to express their emotions to the same extent.
“Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road,” said Dr Brizendine, who runs a female “mood and hormone” clinic in San Francisco.
There are, however, advantages to being the strong, silent type. Dr Brizendine explains that testosterone also reduces the size of the section of the brain involved in hearing - allowing men to become “deaf” to the most logical of arguments put forward by their wives and girlfriends.
But what the male brain may lack in converstation and emotion, they more than make up with in their ability to think about sex.
Dr Brizendine says the brain’s “sex processor” - the areas responsible for sexual thoughts - is twice as big as in men than in women, perhaps explaining why men are stereotyped as having sex on the mind.
Or, to put it another way, men have an international airport for dealing with thoughts about sex, “where women have an airfield nearby that lands small and private planes”.
Studies have shown that while a man will think about sex every 52 seconds, the subject tends to cross women’s minds just once a day, the University of California psychiatrist says.
Dr Brizendine, whose book is based on her own clinical work and analyses of more than 1,000 scientific studies, added: “There is no unisex brain.
“Girls arrive already wired as girls, and boys arrive already wired as boys. Their brains are different by the time they’re born, and their brains are what drive their impulses, values and their very reality.
“I know it is not politically correct to say this but I’ve been torn for years between my politics and what science is telling us.
“I believe women actually perceive the world differently from men.
“If women attend to those differences they can make better decisions about how to manage their lives.”
Other scientists, however, are sceptical about the effects of testosterone on the brain and say many of the differences between the male and female personality can be explained by social conditioning, with a child’s upbringing greatly influencing their character.
Deborah Cameron, an Oxford University linguistics professor with a special interest in language and gender, said the amount we talk is influenced by who we are with and what we are doing.
She added: “If you aggregate a large number of studies you will find there is little difference between the amount men and women talk.”
Already available in the US, The Female Brain will be available in the UK from April.
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They actually get a buzz listening to their own voice, now thats some funny shit!
Heres the link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_i d=419040&in_page_id=1879
Not as funny as seeing yet another clueless bitch who cant read, no pussies allowed here.
Now go clean something…
here here
Not as funny as seeing yet another clueless bitch who cant read, no pussies allowed here.
Now go clean something…
hi,
felt somewhat compelled to leave a note.
yes, i am girl O_O and i think your site is funny xD, for real.
peace.
Excellent point, one voice.
this is when you should learn to shut the fuck up.
Ză coy peachfish^.
- Music Instructor & Veronique - Play my music
dear diamatik,
there are some comments/entries that, although they may reference you, are not intended to ‘reach’ you as they are more of an ‘inside-thing’…this is just such one of those things.
so don’t worry your ‘pretty little head’ with it at all.
i wasn’t really talking to you.
?
Let me give you a lil hint here, just because a man cannot make sense of what you’re saying this does not mean that you’re clever; it just means you’re not making any sense.
In whose bloodstream would/wood that be, yours or Prime’s…
Women are to funny as cinderblocks are to comfortable.
Cinderblocks? Possibly burning hot lava. In your bloodstream.