Whore Sells House
A single mother in Florida by the name of Deven Traboscia is selling her house and herself on eBay for the low, low price of $840,000.
Did I say low price? I meant outrageous price!
In her own words, prospective buyers are paying $340,000 for her two-thousand square foot home, and $500,000 for her unknown square foot vagina — which she’s already used to pop out two kids. Doesn’t sound like a great deal to me.
I’m no state-licensed vagina appraiser, but at 42 years old, and after having served two active tours of duty as a human cloner, that pussy is going for about a million dollars a square foot. The warranty on that thing has expired. The elastic band on thrift store underpants are tighter than that turkey gobbler. The girl’s junk would make a better shammy than a sex toy.
$500,000? In the immortal words of Gerrit Graham, “That’s too fuckin high!”
I’m not here to debate this to degrees of whoredom. All women are whores. Deven Traboscia is no different.
If a woman gets money because some guy thought he was going to get laid, she’s not a “clever lady businessman”, or “empowered”, she’s just a high priced prostitute. Think about it like this: if a cop takes money from criminals who think the law will treat them leniently because of it, that cop is a criminal. He’s not empowered. And if he decides to throw the book at them anyway, he’s just an asshole as well. Either way, he’s still a fucking criminal.
All women are whores.
What I am here to debate is price. In today’s market, the only real estate going for a million dollars a square foot is located in the center of Vatican City. In today’s vagina market, some old broad’s junk going for that same price per cubic foot is just as absurd. The three most important things to keep in mind when buying real estate are location, location, location. The three most important things to keep in mind when it comes to buying vagina are: age, age, age. If she’s over 23, don’t spend a dime. If she’s under 23, take her to TGI Friday’s.
Girls under 23 don’t know the difference between fine cuisine and fried shit.
For every decade a girl ages after 23, her value drops by 100%. That means that at 42, Deven Traboscia has priced herself $500,000 more than her market value. And don’t even talk to me about condition because from I can tell she’s as used as they come. Let’s look at the facts. She couldn’t keep at least one man happy (if the father of her children happens to be one man. It could be two!), and she failed at internet dating. Internet dating is the female equivalent of fishing with dynamite. Men on those sites are so desperate, they’ll pay just for the prospect of paying for sex. If a whore can’t find a steady customer to take care of her two-thousand foot mortgage payments there, then something is wrong with her.
And something always is. The only women on internet dating sites are delusional pseudo-career types who forever sit on the fence of feminism. They’re too useless to commit to their jobs and earn self-reliance, and they’re too arrogant to submit to a man and earn happiness. Quote the shit out of that last sentence because is the very nature of women.
You can call it chivalry, you can call it romance, you can call it “true love”, but what it really is is the exchange of money for sex. Period.
Without whores, men would never get laid. No man alive is immune to it. If you think you are, try getting laid by doing absolutely nothing. Be a nobody, spend no money, and don’t do anything to show you “care”. As a man, your time and your labor are money. You trade them for money from 9 to 5, and when you trade them to impress some dozy bitch, you’re paying for that pussy with something called Opportunity Cost. While you were listening to how much she “wants to be a veteraniarian” or how much she “wishes her stuffed animals could talk to her”, you could have been curing cancer or becoming a rock star. You gave that up to get laid.
And nothing is wrong with any of that! Unless the money being exchanged is $500,000 more than it should be! There’s nothing wrong with prostitution, but there is something wrong with overpaying.
If you read Deven’s justification for this promotional sham, you’ll find that she intends to hold out for “true love”. In woman terms, that means she reserves the right to put out until a yet to be determined sum is negotiated — and then paid. In man terms, she’s a fucking cocktease. Buyer beware!
That “spark” women are always complaining about is the actuation of a woman’s sex drive as a function of how much money and time she thinks she can get out of you and still stay within her personal comfort level of fraudulent behavior. In business, we call that market research. “Chemistry” is nothing more than subconscious market research done by the most devious salesmen the world has ever known: women.
Who else but a woman could sell dry roast beef years past it’s prime for $500,000 and still keep a straight face?
If any of you are thinking of bidding on Deven’s vagina (and house), I have this advice. Wait a few years and hit her fourteen daughter up for some of that “true love”. The apple never falls far from the tree; especially when that apple sees her father two days a week.
All women are whores and they all hate sex. You don’t have to like your job to get it done. The only miners I ever saw whistle while they worked were cartoons.
UPDATE 6/28:
The Sun Sentinel has changed Deven’s picture to one that makes her look less wrinkled. Here is the original.
UPDATE 6/29:
Please disregard my earlier advice to wait for Deven’s daughter to become available. It was just brought to my attention that she looks like a bargain bin transsexual.
Whore Sells House
The Original Craigslist Ad
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Makes perfect sense because anything music/art related usually goes out to the public and is seen as insightful…But women can’t do anything that can be seen as insightful. “…doesn’t give a shit about anything else, except only herself” is a perfect statement to why nothing good is shared by women in the music/art field. And by that I mean GOOD music/art.
Well put, man. Words of truth.
Oh, and “Dave” You really shouldn’t answer your own question
“And what makes you think all women are sluts? My mom has a steady job, no boyfriend, no husband”
Whoever bids on this bitch should have to surrender his testicles.
Depreciation value abounds, in her 40’s and popped out 2 kids?
Even Jamie Lynn Spears’ wouldn’t be worth 500k now that she’s popped out a unit.
If she really even gets a serious offer, it will probably be from a married man or a lesbian. (err, i guess lesbians don’t have that kind of cash…you need a man to be managing that kind of green without spending it all on shoes and whale charities.)
The saddest, and most ironic, conclusion to the facts is; that if a Man wants any real love, not prostitution, he’d have to be gay [I dare a woman to diagram this sentence].
And oddly, women then try to call us gay in their idiotic rantings and insults.
If we were gay, we wouldn’t have this website! We wouldn’t care what a bunch of degenerates you are. It wouldn’t be useful if we were gay, and because we’re Men, we wouldn’t waste our time on useless shit. The very fact that this website exists, proves this dumb-ass retort wrong.
Sometimes, it sucks to be right. And Dick is 100% right in a way that really sucks for us. When it comes to Heterosexuality and being Male, we’re wading in a very shallow gene pool of mating material. Women deliberately maintain this condition such that none can be overlooked; they’re all equally shitty.
This ‘auction’ begs the question “Why do Men treat women like sex objects for sale?” Because thats exactly what they are. If they want to be treated like more than that, they’ll have to become more than that. We fuck them and throw them away, because they don’t bring anything else to the table. It’s all they’re good for.
If we have to buy it, and love is not actually involved; why not bone the hottest one you can find? How they look is the only real difference from one to the next.
Personally, I’ve got better things to spend my money on. If women are so damn equal and superior (how can they be both at the same time?), why can’t they provide for themselves? Fuck off this website, cunts.
I don’t know whats worse. That an 11-year-old boy would have made better argument, if given a chance (this obviously wasn’t an 11-year-old boy) or that the woman that wrote this felt the need to pretend to be an 11-year-old boy to be taken seriously.
Only a woman would have believed this was written by an 11-year-old boy, because only a woman would have read it and NOT thought “God, another ignorant woman trying to act like she has half a brain”.
Anyone ever been in a conversation with other men and a boy is trying to participate? Yes, its annoying as hell, but at least the boy who’s trying to act like an adult does a better job than a woman trying to discuss an issue like she has a semi-intelligent point of view and can say something besides “You need to agree with me or you’re a gay virgin that’ll never get laid”.
Son of a bitch, I’m starting to spell like a bitch myself. It’s contagious! All women, fuck off this website!
Fuck the Craigslist ad - I’d like to see the poor sun of a bitch who actually bids this proposal. That image should be worth 500,000 giggles and shits!
Yep, this bitch is definitely an example of social capitalism (i.e. whoredom) gone hopelessly awry…Absolutely ludicrous!
lol ur doing this all for attention and drama, but uve lost sight of that. cmon, knock it off. its fun being classy.
Great point man. All women say is bs or rather actually a trick. If they are so emotionally superior why they can’t create art???? No famous women painters, no famous women compsers etc…
All this concept of female emotional superiority translates basically to this, that a woman doesn’t give a shit about anything else, except only herself.
‘11-year-old boy’ is just another dumb cunt with more anger than brains.
You better get back to hawking that pussy Bitch - times-a-wastin’ and the freshness-date is fast approaching…
I like how there’s been such an overwhelming response to viewing the Sun-Sentinel’s bullshit article that the bandwidth used was more than they could handle and they’ve had to TAKE THE ARTICLE DOWN!
Like Ron Livingston so aptly put it, “Fuckin’ A.”
Just one more example of the power of MABTW.
Incidentally, Dick, you wouldn’t happen to have SAVED the article anywhere for those of us yet to see it, hmm?
See unfortunately the only way you can appreciate the articles written by Dick is that you have experienced all of these things:
1) Sex
2) At one time thought women were “all that”
3) Appreciated the balance between a mother and father
4) Realized feminism is going way way over the deep end
5) Older than 11
It is unfortunate the father of this “child” is dead as you can see the effects of a single parent upbringing.
Also, for a 11 year old pampered little boy to spew this shit is quite funny.
Peace out.
BPD = Barrels of laughs Per Day
No question it’s a female. No 11-year-old boy says things like “Still a virgin, eh? Or did you have a bad experience with a woman, which drove you to your obvious BPD?” or “Signed with all the hatred an 11-year-old boy could have.” They also never type “11-year-old boy” complete with hyphens. Also note the rambling, pointless blather, constant referals to “loneliness” (a woman’s worst fear), and the inability to separate sex from her hypothesis (you’re a virgin, grow a pair, single nerds, Dick = penis, et al.).
No doubt she “feels” like this is what her 11-year-old should say in defense of his mother, so that makes it “truthy.” Not really true, but “it must be true,” thus making the lie okay. Women like this are prevalent in politics and journalism. The term for their philosophy is “Fake, but Accurate.”
-Rawkstah
There have been thousands of female artists and scientists through the ages, but very few of them have become famous. The evil patriarchy just wouldn’t have it. You know that.
Take Vincent van Gogh. He got lots of encouragement from his family, sold many paintings and received great reviews. Had he been a woman however he would have died lonely and poor.
It’s a single mother who has an 11 year old.
Dear Dick (and any of his regular supporters here),
I’m interested in knowing your thoughts on female artists. You know, ones who can actually draw, paint, etc, worth a damn. Why do I see only a handful of them? If women are truly more emotionally responsive, why are there so few women who can express their emotions and ideas visually? Is this a part of your claim that women can’t mentally “see” different perspectives and the like?
Just a male artist trying to gain new insights. I’m sorry if this is considered off-topic as well.
Ill bet everything i own that’s not an 11 year old boy.