Whore Sells House
A single mother in Florida by the name of Deven Traboscia is selling her house and herself on eBay for the low, low price of $840,000.
Did I say low price? I meant outrageous price!
In her own words, prospective buyers are paying $340,000 for her two-thousand square foot home, and $500,000 for her unknown square foot vagina — which she’s already used to pop out two kids. Doesn’t sound like a great deal to me.
I’m no state-licensed vagina appraiser, but at 42 years old, and after having served two active tours of duty as a human cloner, that pussy is going for about a million dollars a square foot. The warranty on that thing has expired. The elastic band on thrift store underpants are tighter than that turkey gobbler. The girl’s junk would make a better shammy than a sex toy.
$500,000? In the immortal words of Gerrit Graham, “That’s too fuckin high!”
I’m not here to debate this to degrees of whoredom. All women are whores. Deven Traboscia is no different.
If a woman gets money because some guy thought he was going to get laid, she’s not a “clever lady businessman”, or “empowered”, she’s just a high priced prostitute. Think about it like this: if a cop takes money from criminals who think the law will treat them leniently because of it, that cop is a criminal. He’s not empowered. And if he decides to throw the book at them anyway, he’s just an asshole as well. Either way, he’s still a fucking criminal.
All women are whores.
What I am here to debate is price. In today’s market, the only real estate going for a million dollars a square foot is located in the center of Vatican City. In today’s vagina market, some old broad’s junk going for that same price per cubic foot is just as absurd. The three most important things to keep in mind when buying real estate are location, location, location. The three most important things to keep in mind when it comes to buying vagina are: age, age, age. If she’s over 23, don’t spend a dime. If she’s under 23, take her to TGI Friday’s.
Girls under 23 don’t know the difference between fine cuisine and fried shit.
For every decade a girl ages after 23, her value drops by 100%. That means that at 42, Deven Traboscia has priced herself $500,000 more than her market value. And don’t even talk to me about condition because from I can tell she’s as used as they come. Let’s look at the facts. She couldn’t keep at least one man happy (if the father of her children happens to be one man. It could be two!), and she failed at internet dating. Internet dating is the female equivalent of fishing with dynamite. Men on those sites are so desperate, they’ll pay just for the prospect of paying for sex. If a whore can’t find a steady customer to take care of her two-thousand foot mortgage payments there, then something is wrong with her.
And something always is. The only women on internet dating sites are delusional pseudo-career types who forever sit on the fence of feminism. They’re too useless to commit to their jobs and earn self-reliance, and they’re too arrogant to submit to a man and earn happiness. Quote the shit out of that last sentence because is the very nature of women.
You can call it chivalry, you can call it romance, you can call it “true love”, but what it really is is the exchange of money for sex. Period.
Without whores, men would never get laid. No man alive is immune to it. If you think you are, try getting laid by doing absolutely nothing. Be a nobody, spend no money, and don’t do anything to show you “care”. As a man, your time and your labor are money. You trade them for money from 9 to 5, and when you trade them to impress some dozy bitch, you’re paying for that pussy with something called Opportunity Cost. While you were listening to how much she “wants to be a veteraniarian” or how much she “wishes her stuffed animals could talk to her”, you could have been curing cancer or becoming a rock star. You gave that up to get laid.
And nothing is wrong with any of that! Unless the money being exchanged is $500,000 more than it should be! There’s nothing wrong with prostitution, but there is something wrong with overpaying.
If you read Deven’s justification for this promotional sham, you’ll find that she intends to hold out for “true love”. In woman terms, that means she reserves the right to put out until a yet to be determined sum is negotiated — and then paid. In man terms, she’s a fucking cocktease. Buyer beware!
That “spark” women are always complaining about is the actuation of a woman’s sex drive as a function of how much money and time she thinks she can get out of you and still stay within her personal comfort level of fraudulent behavior. In business, we call that market research. “Chemistry” is nothing more than subconscious market research done by the most devious salesmen the world has ever known: women.
Who else but a woman could sell dry roast beef years past it’s prime for $500,000 and still keep a straight face?
If any of you are thinking of bidding on Deven’s vagina (and house), I have this advice. Wait a few years and hit her fourteen daughter up for some of that “true love”. The apple never falls far from the tree; especially when that apple sees her father two days a week.
All women are whores and they all hate sex. You don’t have to like your job to get it done. The only miners I ever saw whistle while they worked were cartoons.
UPDATE 6/28:
The Sun Sentinel has changed Deven’s picture to one that makes her look less wrinkled. Here is the original.
UPDATE 6/29:
Please disregard my earlier advice to wait for Deven’s daughter to become available. It was just brought to my attention that she looks like a bargain bin transsexual.
Whore Sells House
The Original Craigslist Ad
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Now, this is a guy who needs to come here and vent:
“Kimora Lee Simmons, the ex-wife of Russell Simmons, won sole custody of her daughters, Ming, 8, and Aoki, 5.
Russell Simmons will get to spend time with his daughters for 1 week out of every 8 weeks. He gets extra time during the summer vacations and holidays. Russell will pay $20,000 for each child for their child support. This payment will stop when the girls reach nineteen and a half, or when a daughter gets freedom, marries, becomes financially independent, joins the Armed Forces, or stops living with Kimora Lee Simmons.
Russell has to provide transportation for the girls. He has to buy or lease a car valued at a minimum of $60,000, once every 2 years.
Kimora cited irreconcilable differences when she filed for divorce from Russell Simmons. Kimora’s new boyfriend is Djimon Honsou.”
Women leave me speechless. I truly have nothing to say about these sociopaths. I just wonder what processes of natural selection gave birth to these parasitic robots who are who so cold blooded and remorseless in their exploitation of men. They basically have no skills besides preying on men’s need for sex as well as sense of fair play and honor. Women cry in a cold-blooded fashion because they know men feel manly by feeding and protecting them. How can anyone turn an act that is supposed to indicate a real emotion of sadness and despair into a money-making sheme, into an intrument to parasitize and exploit an entire gender of people? Women cry, and men give them money, protection and comfort. The problem with us men is that we are too much good of a people people, and are thus subjected to being exploited by these ravenous parasitic sociopaths knows as women.
P Coderch
$500,000? That’s a lifetime supply of trips to Bangkok for soapy massages and handjobs. And I’d get frequent flier miles. What would a 42yo single mother (what happened to the father?) have to offer?
She has it all backwards. This won’t work, Blacks call them “money monkeys” and they support the Man for love and companionship. Many are unemployed ex-cons. It doesn’t matter. That’s the reality here.
Haha. You sick bastard. I love it.
Don´t know what´s more funny.
This ridiculous ad that “11-year old” or SMash´s rant.
As always this site delivers, truths AND entertainment!
BTW, very cool clip there Dick. I actually never saw this movie over here.
1/2 A MILLION $$$ for “true love” for —>> HER.
She doesn’t even TALK about what’s it in for —>> THE GUY.
Didn’t anybody notice that??????
If any man is dumb enough to think he’s ever gonna get “true love” for his $500,000 . . . then he hasn’t asked himself WHY she couldn’t manage to get a man to love her FOR FREE.
She’s a WOMAN. If a WOMAN in America can’t get a man to love her using whatever god gave her (nevermind anything else) by the time she’s 25 - WHEN SHE HAS SOMETHING GOING FOR HER - . . . then she’s never gonna make it happen at 42.
SHE: “I’M LONELY. IM READY TO GET MARRIED NOW.”
TRANSLATION: “I TOTALLY FUCKED MY ENTIRE LIFE UP SO FAR, I AM A FAILURE ON MY OWN. PLEASE PAY TO RESCUE ME.”
Jesus Christ. What a worthless piece of trash.
If her ex husband didn’t leave her that home,
she would be worth NOTHING.
. . . . no matter how much TRUE LOVE she was offering.
Most women would give their EYE TEETH for a man to to TRULY love them. And this bitch is CHARGING some sucker 1/2 a million bucks for that.
What kind of TOTALLY FUCKED UP woman goes on national television to openly admit that she is totally unsatisfying to be around.
She should be giving her house away on EBAY FOR FREE
for any man to truly love that pig.
I hope she and her new doormat will be very happy together.
She’s probably spent a lot of time in the Miami sun–she’s gonna look like shit in about 10 yrs, leathery boobs and all. These older women who think they are still hot really crack me up. But I guess they are hot to guys like Andy Rooney. Let him have her, I say.
More video, with a slutty daughter making a guest appearance!
http://www.wflx.com/Global/story.asp?S=8558134&nav=menu98_3
The accompanying article indicates criminal charges in her past. Big shock there, eh?
She’s also 30 lbs. heavier in the video than she was on her Craigslist profile. The photo on Craigslist was probably taken no sooner than after her divorce eight years ago, possibly before. Also, her nose is a miniature replica of Italy. You could balance a bowl of pasta on it, and apparently she has.
Wow! That picture is fucking’ more hideous than an old Monet - at close up, all the paint cracks and flakes off, but in this case from all the years of make-up plastered layer after layer. Come to think of it, I’ll need the $500,000 for an organ transplant after throwing my intestines up! Yuch!
There’s some video of this skankasaurus here: http://www.wptv.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?videoid=6877@wptv.dayport.c om&navCatId=3
Also, I think this is the original Scum Slantinel pic: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/media/photo/2008-06/40460975.jpg
Another Deven pic, apparently not air-brushed:
http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2008/06/27/single_mom_selling_ fla_home_and_heart_on_internet/
I think its only fair that if one were to bid on the obvous whore and whore den of filth that it be put in writing that she will blow you at least twice a week and sex should be a daily occurance.
No no..wait…its still not anywhere near worth it.
“Princess lost in America” FUCK YOU.
That was very funny.
-Dick
I love this site so much.
I’d rather bid on one of Mike Piazza’s old catcher’s mitts. You basically getting the same thing, except that the mitt is less leathery and has a chance of appeciating in value.
All this concept of female emotional superiority translates basically to this, that a woman doesn’t give a shit about anything else, except only herself and when she takes it to the extreme = woman’s emotions or woman’s emotional superiority.
MEh. great point man. Like in music - why it sucks when women do it? Because most of them only express in music one thing - admire me!
Whenever an artist stats to think in those categories - “Admire me” that’s when they lose thier inspiration and can’t create anything good any longer. When they don’t give a shit about being admired, the insporation feeds itself and an artist becomes a genius.
Luster is paying with his life for some pussy.
But so are many of you ‘free’ men.
Remember Tom Cruise in Magnolia….
TAME THE CUNT!!!!!!
If a team of male doctors told me I had brain cancer and three months to live…. I would murder this woman selling the house in cold blood. I would. The only reason no one has murdered her yet is the fact that this world is so crazy they would take years of the murderer’s life. No one can actually provide a moral justification for NOT taking this woman’s life in cold blood.
The Shammy call Dick, was the best call. That was an a game post. Very good post, when a few apart from the Earhart one, have been shitty posts lately.
I bet she puts the 500 grand in a prenup for her, your 500 g’s go in a fucking prenup.
I like to go to a brothel where it is 100 bucks to fuck the skank. Funniest part, she only gets 50 bucks and 50 goes to the owners, which are men.
This incentivizes me even more to go to the brothel, because there is nothing like the feeling of being inside this cunt, and I have a favorite that I like to economically rape at this brothel, I go there and I totally within 1 minute flat of getting out of the in house shower, have some cunt’s body at my disposal, and I do treat it like a disposal, as she does, and I just fucking lie down and spoon this cunt, with violent ferocity, and all the while loop the following thought in my head as I stare at the mirror on the ceiling and watch my entire six foot four frame violating this poverty stricken hopeless cunt over and over, I just loop the following thought in my brain….. and it goes a little like this…
“50. Fucking. Bucks. What is wrong with you bitch? I’ve got your human dignity on a platter here, what a life! what a fucking life? What happened darling? What happened? How old were you when you started getting fucked? Where do you go on Christmas Day? Look at you, sitting there getting fucked? It’s fucking hilarious! Man I love this shit, you, fucking perverted little bitch, how could you let someone do this to you?”
And then I come. And then I fucking have a smoke. And then I fucking shower off, and then I towel off, and then I fucking leave. And then I go have a burger. And then I fucking laugh at all the fucking cocksuckers in the traffic who are going home from wage slave jobs to some malignant cunt of a wife… and I think to myself… what a wonderful world.
Then I think to myself. Not only is Dick right with this ebay whore, the pricing of pussy is a market failure. How many men have wasted lives pleasing pussy? Ancient Roman lords, fucked women up against walls, and shoved them to the ground and got back to the art of empire building and slave auctions.
The fucking pussies that men are today spend weeks in cubicles in businesses they have no fucking equity in, and weekends preening some god awful cunt and taking her sorry malignant cunt ass along walks on the beach, just to dip the wage slave wick for five minutes a week? Emasculated fuckhole of a world we live in today.
We need to reverse engineer the female brain, under a top secret black op project, place radical novel brain chemistry adjusting chemical compounds in every sleeve of oreos and dip all tampax in said chemical… and TAKE WHAT IS OURS.
God didn’t give the owner of cunts’ brains only to have those cunts escape and hold us to ransom. We own cunts. We own women’s bodies. We own them every time they get owned. And we occupy them as real estate for nine months.
There was never anything in the history of man that came out of a woman’s mouth that made any near as much impact as the visual of watching your stiff prick go into a woman’s mouth.
It’s not rape if the woman’s brain is temporarily shut down with GHB.
Because I didn’t abuse your brain, I didn’t psychologically damage you, because I’m not interested in your psychology. I’m interested in the fact that there is a hole with a little heat in it, and it is not a fleshlight.(TM)
Women are so fuckin dumb… they would set up a charity for survivors of coma rape, that are still in comas.
Tarantino brought coma rape to the silver screen, and I haven’t looked back.
In fact, if you google ‘coma rape baby’ for a laugh, you’ll see some orderly got done for getting a coma whore pregnant!!!
Bwaaa HaAA hahaaa
Anyone who disagrees with anything I said in my post is just a disgruntled coma rape baby.
Actually the sheer fact that the baby was born, proves childbirth and all that SHIT is a fucking autopilot cakewalk, and a fucking unconscious woman, a brain dead woman can both 1)satisfy a cock and 2)have babies.
Hey ORGANISM!!! I love you…. you’re so special…. you bring so much to the table…. I like the way my unsheathed cock feels as it straddles your sugar walls…… I like the way our eyes meet and we know we are making love and sharing a magical experience not just ‘fucking’. I love the way I wouldn’t know what is going on between your fucking cunt ears because your fucking brain is probably scheming to fucking economically ruin and leave me holding the bag…the empty fucking bag….cunt.
The best sex I’ve EVER had, was unprotected with a cunt who I knew was on the pill for certain, and she was fucking passed out drunk.
FREE THE MAX FACTOR HEIR GHB “RAPIST”!!!! Andrew Luster.
This poor man is in prison for life for fucking cunts who wouldn’t have even knew they got fucked. The drunk drug addict sluts were just looking for a meal ticket. The worst thing Luster did was make video tapes of them getting fucked. He should have just gone to covermyface.com like the rest of us.
I urge all men of conscience to visit his wikipedia page and hear him out. Even his own MOM has started a website seeking to clear his name…….. and they are a mega rich family….. because Max Factor invented makeup because he was so sick and tired of having to skull fuck some acne covered oreo addict.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Luster
Go to article section ‘website’ and follow link to listen to Andrew’s rich mom (from man’s invention) explain how these whores lied and why andrew should be released!!!!!!!!!!!
He deserves to return to his beach house and his collection of polaroids of topless drunk cunts who he picked up.
read all about how these lying date rape whores fucking pwned a good and decent trust fund surfer boy who never worked a day in his life….and nor should he have had to….anyone with a talented great grampa who was a billionaire deserves the rest of his life off just because of the proven talent of his relative at seeing just how many millions of women are willing to pay through the ass for caked on foundation makeup to increase their chances of getting fucked in the ass in exchange for room and board…..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Luster
Whoa, most women try (unsuccessfully, of course) to hide their inner whory nature.