Whore Sells House
A single mother in Florida by the name of Deven Traboscia is selling her house and herself on eBay for the low, low price of $840,000.
Did I say low price? I meant outrageous price!
In her own words, prospective buyers are paying $340,000 for her two-thousand square foot home, and $500,000 for her unknown square foot vagina — which she’s already used to pop out two kids. Doesn’t sound like a great deal to me.
I’m no state-licensed vagina appraiser, but at 42 years old, and after having served two active tours of duty as a human cloner, that pussy is going for about a million dollars a square foot. The warranty on that thing has expired. The elastic band on thrift store underpants are tighter than that turkey gobbler. The girl’s junk would make a better shammy than a sex toy.
$500,000? In the immortal words of Gerrit Graham, “That’s too fuckin high!”
I’m not here to debate this to degrees of whoredom. All women are whores. Deven Traboscia is no different.
If a woman gets money because some guy thought he was going to get laid, she’s not a “clever lady businessman”, or “empowered”, she’s just a high priced prostitute. Think about it like this: if a cop takes money from criminals who think the law will treat them leniently because of it, that cop is a criminal. He’s not empowered. And if he decides to throw the book at them anyway, he’s just an asshole as well. Either way, he’s still a fucking criminal.
All women are whores.
What I am here to debate is price. In today’s market, the only real estate going for a million dollars a square foot is located in the center of Vatican City. In today’s vagina market, some old broad’s junk going for that same price per cubic foot is just as absurd. The three most important things to keep in mind when buying real estate are location, location, location. The three most important things to keep in mind when it comes to buying vagina are: age, age, age. If she’s over 23, don’t spend a dime. If she’s under 23, take her to TGI Friday’s.
Girls under 23 don’t know the difference between fine cuisine and fried shit.
For every decade a girl ages after 23, her value drops by 100%. That means that at 42, Deven Traboscia has priced herself $500,000 more than her market value. And don’t even talk to me about condition because from I can tell she’s as used as they come. Let’s look at the facts. She couldn’t keep at least one man happy (if the father of her children happens to be one man. It could be two!), and she failed at internet dating. Internet dating is the female equivalent of fishing with dynamite. Men on those sites are so desperate, they’ll pay just for the prospect of paying for sex. If a whore can’t find a steady customer to take care of her two-thousand foot mortgage payments there, then something is wrong with her.
And something always is. The only women on internet dating sites are delusional pseudo-career types who forever sit on the fence of feminism. They’re too useless to commit to their jobs and earn self-reliance, and they’re too arrogant to submit to a man and earn happiness. Quote the shit out of that last sentence because is the very nature of women.
You can call it chivalry, you can call it romance, you can call it “true love”, but what it really is is the exchange of money for sex. Period.
Without whores, men would never get laid. No man alive is immune to it. If you think you are, try getting laid by doing absolutely nothing. Be a nobody, spend no money, and don’t do anything to show you “care”. As a man, your time and your labor are money. You trade them for money from 9 to 5, and when you trade them to impress some dozy bitch, you’re paying for that pussy with something called Opportunity Cost. While you were listening to how much she “wants to be a veteraniarian” or how much she “wishes her stuffed animals could talk to her”, you could have been curing cancer or becoming a rock star. You gave that up to get laid.
And nothing is wrong with any of that! Unless the money being exchanged is $500,000 more than it should be! There’s nothing wrong with prostitution, but there is something wrong with overpaying.
If you read Deven’s justification for this promotional sham, you’ll find that she intends to hold out for “true love”. In woman terms, that means she reserves the right to put out until a yet to be determined sum is negotiated — and then paid. In man terms, she’s a fucking cocktease. Buyer beware!
That “spark” women are always complaining about is the actuation of a woman’s sex drive as a function of how much money and time she thinks she can get out of you and still stay within her personal comfort level of fraudulent behavior. In business, we call that market research. “Chemistry” is nothing more than subconscious market research done by the most devious salesmen the world has ever known: women.
Who else but a woman could sell dry roast beef years past it’s prime for $500,000 and still keep a straight face?
If any of you are thinking of bidding on Deven’s vagina (and house), I have this advice. Wait a few years and hit her fourteen daughter up for some of that “true love”. The apple never falls far from the tree; especially when that apple sees her father two days a week.
All women are whores and they all hate sex. You don’t have to like your job to get it done. The only miners I ever saw whistle while they worked were cartoons.
UPDATE 6/28:
The Sun Sentinel has changed Deven’s picture to one that makes her look less wrinkled. Here is the original.
UPDATE 6/29:
Please disregard my earlier advice to wait for Deven’s daughter to become available. It was just brought to my attention that she looks like a bargain bin transsexual.
Whore Sells House
The Original Craigslist Ad
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i think your insane.
And this whore-sells-house bitch who placed an ad for men to pay $500,000 to pursue her is just another insane woman. Chris should seriously post the email he wrote to her. Her reply was hilarious, and so was his retort.
And yes her happiness is her responsibility, whats your point? everyones happiness is there own responsibilty.
Your logic is stupid.
You do realize that you obsess over woman.
its all you talk about, them, and how they should act and how they should be.
your all pathetic haha
Chris - When you said to me “A woman’s happiness is not your responsibility, It’s HERS”, it completely changed my life in less time than it took for you to say it. I finally exhaled. Thanks.
Sal GETS it. Excellent. Congratulations.
Pursuing women (and their goddamned “happiness”) is a complete waste of any man’s time. You get WAY more women wanting your attention by telling them to FUCK OFF AND GET LOST. EVERY woman on this website has proven that already.
And that’s what its all about.
No man should EVER go out of his way to freely give a woman his attention.
You want THEM to WANT YOURS.
and MAN!! - do they EVER SCREAM FOR IT when they don’t get enough of it.
The fastest - and BEST - way to get where YOU want to go is THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS. Men know that naturally.
Women are ALL OVER THE MAP.
Pursuing women to make THEM happy (instead of yourself)
is the first best way to get just as lost as THEY are.
No, British women are classy.
From the article :
More British Women Binge Drinking
A new survey in the United Kingdom has found that almost two-thirds of young women admit to drinking so much that they woke up the next morning with virtually no memory of events of the night before.
@Yakety-yack: Don’t come back. At least, if you value your life. On the other hand, I don’t know if a 5′2″ man with 35% body fat who reads Nitzche (sp?) and plays chess can serve as a threat to a standard woman.
Pay attention now. Scott here constantly talks about how women deserved to be raped, as we know. and this girl attaches to him because he sounds nice. Yeah, women are GREAT at judging danger.
Said the old lady to the axe murderer. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Commander Scott, I agree with you. However, you still get women that are like that today. Not all women are morally corrupt and certainly not all men are degenerate monkeys like Chris. You just have to have patience and faith. You sound like a true gentleman and I hope you find your lady to match.
This woman is pathetic. What next? Do you people in the USA have some kind of contagious idiot-generating-brain-rotting virus in the water supply?
Wow.
Once again, women manage to move the bar in some direction …
It’s the attitude that pisses me off the most. Believing that she is some kind of precious object that deserves to be sought after by men. And in that regard she is no different from almost any other woman … they just love prancing around and posing atop their pedestals, and yet are so quick to play the equality card at any moment when it could gain them a personal advantage.
Just another example of women trying to have their cake and eat it. Though if you ask me, women have eaten enough fucking cake as it is.
OK dude WTF??????
Let’s not talk about “Queen Victoria’s time” right now.
Jesus. Men wore perfume, and wigs ‘n shit. And they died by 40.
I grew up (and started fucking) in the mid-80s . . . I was 17. At that time, women were were wearing HUGE SWEAT SOCKS, enormous full length sweaters, shoulder pads, and all kinds of rediculous shit. We had kool-aid parties, ‘n stuff. You had to tell a girl you loved her . . . . and you had to wake her up before you go-go.
Today . . . women don’t wear ANYTHING and HOST BLOWJOB PARTIES!
Fuck the old days man.
I wish we could go back to the nineteenth century, at the very height of the British Empire, when women knew how to treat men with respect and dignity. It was a glorious time in our history, when all women over the age of 25 were given in marriage and the only single men in existence were “confirmed bachelors” (pederasts); it was a time when women dressed like ladies, in their corsets, bustles, veils, and lace, petticoats, pantaloons, and parasols; they were in stark contrast to the half-naked whores of today, who wander about brazenly advertising “vagina for sale”.
I wish we could go back to the Age of Queen Victoria, a period when women, because of their relative freedom from violent passion and lack of human sexuality, were seen as the civilizers and socializers of men; where the only books women had any familiarity with were the King James Version of the Bible and the bowdlerized edition of the Family Shakespeare; where women played the piano or strummed the violin to ease her husband’s troubled conscience after a hard day of work, and sang lullabies into his ear to soothe him to sleep; where women slaved over an iron stove, constantly minding the children and always occupied in the day-today-day domestic chores of the household economy.
Victorian woman was a goddess, a goddess we shall never have the good fortune of ever seeing again, unless contemporary Western society is reformed and subsequently transformed into a civilization organized around patriarchal institutions.
What have we done? What fool decided to liberate the woman from her natural role as housewife and mother? Why are women expected to act like men and men expected to behave like women? Whoever is responsible for this tremendous evil has let hell out of a paper bag…
@MATT
:)
Q: What’s the difference between a woman, and a refrigerator???
A: A refrigerator doesn’t FART when you take your meat out.
I like where you are going with this Chris.
Definitely fuck her face, it is way tighter than her savagely beaten expired vagina.
Chris. Fuck you. I just pissed my pants. Seriously.
@MATT
:) Yeah . . . exactly.
And didn’t she say “I just want my Mom to be happy”,
or “as long as my Mom is happy.”?
LMFAO!!!
If her Mom were even CAPABLE of being “happy” she would have tried it 25 years ago. Now the 42-year old miserable wench is pulling the most miserable, desperate and lonley scam on EBAY, because everyone knows that homeless/hopeless old cunt wouldn’t be “happy” if a guy paid her 1 MILLION DOLLARS just to GET RID OF HER.
I feel like buying this American cunt’s house , just to FAKE “true love” while I fuck her mouth a few times . . . as I de-face her face and glaze like a donut . . . . then bang her daughter(s) and get some decent anal when she’s not looking . . . . then withdraw the money (because its “true love” I would have access to it) . . . . dump the old cunt and burn the house down while they watch . . . . and then collect the insurance.
That would be awesome . . in a sort of “Menarebetterthanwomen 9/11″ kind of way.
It would definitely get me on Letterman.
LMAO!!!
Sure Chris, you right ;) I have overlooked that part indeed.