Whore Sells House
A single mother in Florida by the name of Deven Traboscia is selling her house and herself on eBay for the low, low price of $840,000.
Did I say low price? I meant outrageous price!
In her own words, prospective buyers are paying $340,000 for her two-thousand square foot home, and $500,000 for her unknown square foot vagina — which she’s already used to pop out two kids. Doesn’t sound like a great deal to me.
I’m no state-licensed vagina appraiser, but at 42 years old, and after having served two active tours of duty as a human cloner, that pussy is going for about a million dollars a square foot. The warranty on that thing has expired. The elastic band on thrift store underpants are tighter than that turkey gobbler. The girl’s junk would make a better shammy than a sex toy.
$500,000? In the immortal words of Gerrit Graham, “That’s too fuckin high!”
I’m not here to debate this to degrees of whoredom. All women are whores. Deven Traboscia is no different.
If a woman gets money because some guy thought he was going to get laid, she’s not a “clever lady businessman”, or “empowered”, she’s just a high priced prostitute. Think about it like this: if a cop takes money from criminals who think the law will treat them leniently because of it, that cop is a criminal. He’s not empowered. And if he decides to throw the book at them anyway, he’s just an asshole as well. Either way, he’s still a fucking criminal.
All women are whores.
What I am here to debate is price. In today’s market, the only real estate going for a million dollars a square foot is located in the center of Vatican City. In today’s vagina market, some old broad’s junk going for that same price per cubic foot is just as absurd. The three most important things to keep in mind when buying real estate are location, location, location. The three most important things to keep in mind when it comes to buying vagina are: age, age, age. If she’s over 23, don’t spend a dime. If she’s under 23, take her to TGI Friday’s.
Girls under 23 don’t know the difference between fine cuisine and fried shit.
For every decade a girl ages after 23, her value drops by 100%. That means that at 42, Deven Traboscia has priced herself $500,000 more than her market value. And don’t even talk to me about condition because from I can tell she’s as used as they come. Let’s look at the facts. She couldn’t keep at least one man happy (if the father of her children happens to be one man. It could be two!), and she failed at internet dating. Internet dating is the female equivalent of fishing with dynamite. Men on those sites are so desperate, they’ll pay just for the prospect of paying for sex. If a whore can’t find a steady customer to take care of her two-thousand foot mortgage payments there, then something is wrong with her.
And something always is. The only women on internet dating sites are delusional pseudo-career types who forever sit on the fence of feminism. They’re too useless to commit to their jobs and earn self-reliance, and they’re too arrogant to submit to a man and earn happiness. Quote the shit out of that last sentence because is the very nature of women.
You can call it chivalry, you can call it romance, you can call it “true love”, but what it really is is the exchange of money for sex. Period.
Without whores, men would never get laid. No man alive is immune to it. If you think you are, try getting laid by doing absolutely nothing. Be a nobody, spend no money, and don’t do anything to show you “care”. As a man, your time and your labor are money. You trade them for money from 9 to 5, and when you trade them to impress some dozy bitch, you’re paying for that pussy with something called Opportunity Cost. While you were listening to how much she “wants to be a veteraniarian” or how much she “wishes her stuffed animals could talk to her”, you could have been curing cancer or becoming a rock star. You gave that up to get laid.
And nothing is wrong with any of that! Unless the money being exchanged is $500,000 more than it should be! There’s nothing wrong with prostitution, but there is something wrong with overpaying.
If you read Deven’s justification for this promotional sham, you’ll find that she intends to hold out for “true love”. In woman terms, that means she reserves the right to put out until a yet to be determined sum is negotiated — and then paid. In man terms, she’s a fucking cocktease. Buyer beware!
That “spark” women are always complaining about is the actuation of a woman’s sex drive as a function of how much money and time she thinks she can get out of you and still stay within her personal comfort level of fraudulent behavior. In business, we call that market research. “Chemistry” is nothing more than subconscious market research done by the most devious salesmen the world has ever known: women.
Who else but a woman could sell dry roast beef years past it’s prime for $500,000 and still keep a straight face?
If any of you are thinking of bidding on Deven’s vagina (and house), I have this advice. Wait a few years and hit her fourteen daughter up for some of that “true love”. The apple never falls far from the tree; especially when that apple sees her father two days a week.
All women are whores and they all hate sex. You don’t have to like your job to get it done. The only miners I ever saw whistle while they worked were cartoons.
UPDATE 6/28:
The Sun Sentinel has changed Deven’s picture to one that makes her look less wrinkled. Here is the original.
UPDATE 6/29:
Please disregard my earlier advice to wait for Deven’s daughter to become available. It was just brought to my attention that she looks like a bargain bin transsexual.
Whore Sells House
The Original Craigslist Ad
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You can find meat in a meat market and pussy everywhere. Why she would actually have the nerve to put a price on her wrinkled self is beyond me. Then again, women do stupid things all the time so it’s really not that surprising. It’s just great that someone like Dick can bring it to our attention when one does. The entertainment is priceless!
So this is the way it had to end… with her on top of another man. Well, let\’s see the instant replay!
You are right indeed, how arrogant of her to price so high.
How arrogant of her to price at all. Fellas, stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. Just like water, pussy is abundant and readily available, and just like water, it’s a fucking shame that the same shit you get free everywhere else has been packaged and sold far beyond it’s true value. Bottled water is a fucking scam, and so is female self-worth. REAL men should already know this rule, so I suppose I’m just passing on wisdom for a new generation.
PUSSY IS A WORTHLESS COMMODITY.
Only a woman will place extreme importance on the value she thinks it has. When a man knows pussy is a worthless commodity, all women are forced to find some other self-worth.
They can’t.
A woman’s self-worth always depends on male attention.
Take it away, and you have a fucking disaster on your hands.
NOTHING DEPRESSES, INFURIATES, AND BOTHERS A WOMAN MORE THAN THE ABSENSE OF MALE ATTENTION.
IF YOU COMMUNICATE THAT HER PUSSY IS WORTHLESS TO YOU, SHE WILL WORK HER FUCKING ASS OFF TO CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT THAT.
Someone said that to me recently and its so fucking accurate will never forget it. I highly recommend every guy remind himself of that. Withhold your attention , or show negative attention - and women will throw their pussies at you all day long. Take your fucking pick.
@MANsanthrope
That’s exactly right. Not alot of men know that. And the women REALLY don’t want alot of men to know that.
A man sees a woman as a cum dump.
Nothing wrong with that.
If she wants to be regarded as anything ELSE —>> it’s not going to be up to HIM . . . it’s gonna be up to HER.
Most women are too lazy - and incapable - of making any Man look at her as anything else. Why would he. He doesn’t need or want her for anything else. He doesn’t even KNOW her yet.
Yes. A woman will SAY she is “special”,
but she is totally unable to SHOW you she is special.
That’s a woman’s problem.
Not a man’s.
That’s only one reason why women are failures.
Hi I am ready to buy your house and to be with you forever.
Please for more information contact me on my e-mail adress: jach_king@yahoo.fr
why the fuck do all these women go on this site?? i mean how the fuck did u find it??
if ur realy that offended by it dont go on it!! Hes just an internet troll.. he ding this just so he can laugh at ppls comments…
Dude, I hafta ask, who the FUCK would fuck you, after reading this?
you must really enoy your fathers dick oin your mouth, huh?
seriously alison get a life
Lmao, she’s so old and UGLY!
The comments you left on this subject just had me laughing hysterically, though, I agree.
I just can’t get enough of reading the comments made by women who can’t even spell, they just can’t stop making asses of themselves… lol
Actually a lot of guys makes asses of themselves and doing terrible jobs at spelling as well, just take a look around haha.
Hi im Mk this is my email adress cadetchick12@hotmail.com i can fit 5 fingers up my pussy and im willing to sell myself (sorry i dnt own a house) on the internet for the very reasonal sum of 50,000 USD all inclusive, prices are flexible just like me ;) contact me any time <3 Mk Syd Aust
hello dick.
i just wanted to say you are a sexist pig. not all women are like that! u actually beleive women deserve to be raped? wow your an idiot. i cannot express my hate for you not only as a women but as a person. you truly are the lowest peice of shit i have ever seen in my life. and what about all of us succesful women out there? Condelisa Rice, Amelia Erheart, Rosa Parks, Hariet Tubman, Mary from the bible, and many many more, i dont say this too often but dick, i hope you rot in hell. without women in society, the wrold as we know it would be in utter chaos. put THAT in your blog.
Learn to spell and punctuate. Or maybe use a spellchecker that was invariably invented by a man. Then voice your opinion.
Don’t you know, even Mary was a whore.
What a WHORE! It’s all for money and the european men could do so much better, pussy looks better there. And you can save on money and time if you live in Italy the real estate and women are cheaper.
FUCK THIS BULLSHIT HOW EVER MADE THIS MOTHER FUCKER OF A BITCH IS A SEXIST MANHORE!!!!!!!!! NICE GOING U DUMB MOTHR FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. GOOD LUCK GETTING A DATE U WILL NEVER GET ONE THAT U CANT INFLATE. GET A FUCKING LIFE U SEXIST FUCKING SON OF A BITCH. IM A GUY THE DISAGREES W/ SEXISM OR W/E ITS CALLED SO FUCK U BASTERD GET A FUCKING LIFE U DUMB SHITY HORE FUCKING PIECE OF DEMON DAMN FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK UUUUUUUUUUUU
Translation: Bwaah, I´m a mangina and still can´t get laid, while assholes like you fuck around regularly.
Oh well.
Eventually you will see the light too.
Hint: It´s not between a woman´s legs.
Women are cunts and imbeciles.
Gay..
More borrowing. I guess you ran out of stock insults, yak slime.
Is that all you have to say? Do you give up that easily? No better come-backs? Because I really enjoyed today… We should do it again sometime… ;)
Just put a brave face on it, yack drool. You’re not fooling anybody.
Snot-bola, does it look like I care what you think? You would know all about being a fool and how it feels… can I get some lessons from you? I’m only just starting and you are already on the advanced level of being an ass.
Why are my remarks affecting you so? he he he This is fantastic… I have managed to piss you off (and on you) and you just keep coming back for more. I love this! yack pooh for you tonight
Sure you were. Talking about silly excuses. You’ve made a complete fool of yourself, yack poop.
e-bola, What is your point? The fact that you ass-umed, like an idiot, that I was from the UK or that I drink alcohol? Get your facts straight.
What are you going to do “no asshole”? Bore me to death? Before or after you fuck your mother?
I was being sarcastic E-bola. I can see my wit is wasted on you lack of cerebral capacity. No, monkey, your brain is between your ears, not your legs…