Who’s Afraid of the Manliest Man
I’m going to conclude my week’s presentation of the world’s manliest man men with the manliest man man of all.
You.
You’re a man and that means you have a dick and balls (most probably). It also means you have that in common with every other great person in history who’s ever done a fucking thing. How awesome is that! Women can’t say shit like that. The only thing women share traits with is a cheeseburger. I think we all know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about cows and women being like them. Cheeseburgers are made from cows.
As a man, did you know that you have collectively fucked over 10 billion women? That’s because you’re a man and you share. Some of them were super hot and for that you get a thousand Man Points. Some of them were ugly as shit too, which only gives you ten thousand Man Points. You’re a man. You can’t lose.
Women don’t share shit. Women compete like jackals over every little thing in their fucking lives. Have you ever seen a woman gloat an engagement ring over her harpy, fat-fuck friends? Disgusting. And women who agree and think it’s disgusting also are even more fucking disgusting for selling out their own. Go fuck yourselves, female misogynists.
If it were the other way around and women had to buy men engagement rings, then men would sell them and buy beer for all their man friends because jewels are silly and stupid and are also mined by slaves.
You know who abolished African slavery like 200 years ago? Men did. That means you also did because you’re a man. That’s how it works. Ask a feminist. She’ll tell you between shoving bear crawlers down her flabby fuck-off throat and regaling you with retarded anecdotes about her pet shit-rat named Frumpy Shits or some stupid ass thing. Women can’t name dogs for shit.
Women build their whole lives around Africans being slaves. Do some research into diamonds before you say ‘I do’. Or just consult the manliest man you know: yourself.
All men know anything and everything about all things that they’ve ever done. That’s why men don’t have to think about anything. That’s why you don’t even have to think to know that I know what I’m talking about; because you’re the manliest man who has ever been.
I’m also just man-joking. The manliest man in the world is Kenny Powers. He broke his back jumping the St. Lawrence River in a Lincoln Continental with a jet strapped to the boot.
He made it with ten miles to spare.
See the jump (only if you’re a man)
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November 3rd, 2006 at 2:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8df4b9656c70a
Thats because of your God complex, nothing more.
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Wow, I saw that ramp as a tiny kid. I must have been… 3? 4? 1977/78 maybe was the year I saw it?
You know, Dick, something struck me about that video. The man narrating it was calm, authoritative, operating in a narrow, logical emotional range, and conveying knowledge. He wasn’t wasting a lot of time mollycoddling his viewer’s feelings. There’s an excitable, emasculated, feminized tone to many male newscasters these days. Personally, I’ve got nothing against lady newscasters; they’re nice to look at if nothing else.
But more smiley smiley and less talky talky would be nice.
-wolfe
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8df4b9656c70a
Dicks moderated numbering system is certainly unknown to mankind.
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: bc55fc9934d80
Another thing…If guys were so dayum smart dont you think that they would know to wax their eye brows and perhaps shave their balls before sex? Apperenlty they arent as smart as you make them out to be…And by the way, you dont even qualify as a MAN…seeing as how you fuck MEN, that would make you and WOMEN. So jokes on you sweetheart…kisses
November 3rd, 2006 at 6:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2dba4a98000b6
I once got caught in a crevasse and had to hack off my manhood with a bottle opener. I now carry it in a purse on my belt. How manly is THAT?
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 53c6959990f7f
Awww, I was hoping the guy who was trapped by a boulder and cut his arm off with a pocket knife then walked out of the wilderness for help would be mentioned somewhere.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
That jump is far more fucking impressive. But, alas, a car is not a plane, no matter how thoroughly it feigns flight.
My hat is off to the man. As is to the gentleman that amputated his arm with a pocket knife, no doubt.
Surely better men than me.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 84f7c5452f5d2
I consider all Men to be my brothers until they prove themselves wrong.
-Strength and Honor-
November 4th, 2006 at 1:28 am - IP Man-Hash: 93b55cdd43f53
I love you man,can I be your adopted son?
nobody says it like dick.
SHEER FUCKING GENIUS!!!
November 4th, 2006 at 1:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
I like to think that all men are my sons.
-Dick
November 4th, 2006 at 5:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 11c07225b06f9
You know Mandy, shaving of the balls isn’t exactly a requirement of masculinity, more of a choice of metrosexuality.
November 4th, 2006 at 6:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 840a16b910dfe
Other than porn stars, any man that shaves his balls should have them removed.
November 4th, 2006 at 7:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 6911dc8bf218b
@Mandy
I wouldn’t expect a woman to do those things and I sure as hell couldn’t respect a woman who expected them of me.
November 4th, 2006 at 9:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Yeah. I don’t expect a woman to wax her balls, because I hope she doesn’t have them. But that’s just me. Maybe things are different where Mandy lives.
-wolfe
November 4th, 2006 at 11:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 807dbaeb4f75f
Mandy….Why the fuck should a guy give a shit about the state of his eyebrows? We dont even care about the state of most womens eyebrows so……….fuck it, I cant be bothered verbally dismantaling you - Im tired! Just piss off from this website! (READ: NO WOMEN ALLOWED!)
November 4th, 2006 at 11:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5326e34c2cc00
I just want to make a point to you mwomen on this site. Firstly, why are you coming on a site called MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN in the first place? Secondly, I know that you may recognize the English language, but i doubt that any of it registers in your feeble little minds. If it did, you would have been able to read AND understand the heading at the front of the site and backed off. Another thing:
Seeing as how you put a comment, I would think it nice of you to have it spell checked first. Thankyou, however, for aiding this site in reiterating the fact tht men ARE better than women. Have a nice day.
November 4th, 2006 at 11:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5326e34c2cc00
Ah! Alas, I fear I have made a mistake. I meant to put women, not mwomen! My apologies, gentlemen. At least I was man enough to admit my mistake and fix it before some jumped-up feminist used a typo as her ammuniton… Anyway, I must also disagree with you Mandy. Why is it sensible to shave our nuts and pluck our eyebrows before sex? It seems a rather gay thing to do…
November 5th, 2006 at 3:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2338678007359
this is the stupidest website i have ever been on. you seem to have nothing better to do than make a biased website. i will challenge you to a boardgame any day!!!
November 5th, 2006 at 4:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a66d10276b0f
mandy is a ballwasher thats why she prefers them shaved, any man that shaves his balls to satisfy his bitch is indeed a bitch himself.
as far as my uni-brow goes it seperates the hos from the real women.and hanna the only bored game any boy will play with you is hide the weasel.
now bend over and when were all done you can go.
November 5th, 2006 at 9:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: c771144f757fb
Indeed. Now, Hannah, I wish to know: Why don’t you go make the same comments on sites such as http://www.feministing.com? I’m sure that you are good enough as a person to make sure that you are not biasing your opinions on biased sites, juast because they are run by men… And by the way, I do believe that you may have a chance of winning at Snakes and Ladders. It’s a fifty-fifty chance, and even a monkey can roll a die. You can roll a die, can’t you?
November 5th, 2006 at 9:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: c771144f757fb
BTW: In case you can’t figure it out, a die is not a dice. Dice is a plural.
November 5th, 2006 at 10:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a66d10276b0f
dude she has velcro shoes. and if i mispelled it who fucking cares.
November 5th, 2006 at 11:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I believe the word “dye” is far more recognoscible still to women.
- tiga & zyntherius - sunglasses at night
November 5th, 2006 at 11:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8df4b9656c70a
Seeing as how you put a comment, I would think it nice of you to have it spell checked first. Thankyou, however, for aiding this site in reiterating the fact tht (sic) men ARE NOT better than women. Have a nice day.
Do you honestly believe that women are going to read “men are better than women”, and then obey the sentence, “no women allowed”? Think again. And maybe even some more.
November 5th, 2006 at 11:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8df4b9656c70a
mean-jake, drop your pants NOW. When we’re all finished having a good laugh, you can dry your eyes and slink away.
November 6th, 2006 at 2:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 0da7033fa810a
Too true, Sonyad. Sadly, I do wonder how many women remember their natural hair colour.
November 6th, 2006 at 9:40 am - IP Man-Hash: 7e20a2b748599
Thats not difficult to discover…just look down under…!!
November 6th, 2006 at 12:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
@Robert, true, but sometimes it’s not a question of the drapes matching the carpet, it’s a question of hardwood floors.
-wolfe
November 6th, 2006 at 5:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: b8625a3ae5276
@wolfe: Nice!
November 7th, 2006 at 5:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 23500eaac44c3
Female said:”Seeing as how you put a comment, I would think it nice of you to have it spell checked first. Thankyou, however, for aiding this site in reiterating the fact tht (sic) men ARE NOT better than women. Have a nice day.”
Agreed, spell check is nice, perhaps you should use it as well then perhaps you would be able to spell “That” correctly. (see above)
- Oldone
November 7th, 2006 at 6:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
oldone, they weren’t my words, I was quoting and the quote function didn’t work. Hence my (sic).
Apologies that you weren’t unable to catch me out there.
November 8th, 2006 at 1:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f0331adb6577
female how much do u charge for a blow job
November 8th, 2006 at 3:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 169653ff9635e
Aaron you couldn’t afford it nor would you survive it.
November 8th, 2006 at 3:51 am - IP Man-Hash: 109bcf0dfd9d2
inter os atque offam multa intervenire posse.
November 8th, 2006 at 10:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 497a2bd14e918
Female
With every post you make, you prove the premise.
November 8th, 2006 at 11:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 7f0331adb6577
Aaron you couldn’t afford it nor would you survive it.
lol
November 10th, 2006 at 7:36 am - IP Man-Hash: eadd56da2c7c9
I’d want to have my insurance paid up before tea-bagging Mandy J, too.
-Big Al
February 15th, 2007 at 7:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: a2dadaa74aa7e
Manly men are sexy not scary.
You ever seen ” I love NEW YORK”
Rico is sexy. whooooo…yea……come here spanish suga
February 15th, 2007 at 7:29 pm - IP Man-Hash: a2dadaa74aa7e
lol
im with u all the way babes
February 16th, 2007 at 1:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Quite.
March 3rd, 2007 at 7:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: f75c92aeb197e
I know I’ve posted this somewhere in the forums but even in my mid forties learning about the exploits of Joseph Kittinger made me feel like a teenage boy finding his boyhood hero.
Record breaking jump
All three of his jumps are shown at 76′000ft, 74′700ft and finally 102′800ft.
A mans man doing his thing, and not a bitch in sight.
March 3rd, 2007 at 10:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: e360eaab3b47f
Wow he did the speed of sound while free falling.
Broke 3 world records that still stand.
It’s incredible what man has achieved.
October 26th, 2007 at 11:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 8e55376037cca
Damn Dick, you were kicking all kinds of ass on this post. Nicely done.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b4054158c14d
Actually the car was a Lincoln Continental Mark IV. The Mark series Lincolns all had a vestigial hump as a remnant of the old continental look. The sweet thing about Kenny’s Lincoln was that the rocket motor ran through the body and exhausted in the back where the hump was cut out.
The car almost looked like it was supposed to have a rocket motor in it. Only *the* manliest man ever would modify a 3 ton car (no shit I had one and weighed it) with a gazillion horsepower rocket motor and then strap himself in 3 inches away from the thing and launch himself over a canyon. Now that’s fuckin manly.
PS: Are there any man points for driving the only car make on the planet with a vestigial hump?
April 7th, 2008 at 1:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 3c3ca5120d047
DRINKING BEER AND HEAVY METAL ARE FUCKING AMAZING!!! BARBECUE AND BIG TITS ALSO BY THE WAY
April 7th, 2008 at 1:11 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
What is the best sound in the world?
Hearing manhole’s hips crack under pressure!
How do you get 100 manholes into a phone booth?
Kama Sutra
How do you get them out?
Jaws of life!