Who’s Afraid of the Manliest Man
I’m going to conclude my week’s presentation of the world’s manliest man men with the manliest man man of all.
You.
You’re a man and that means you have a dick and balls (most probably). It also means you have that in common with every other great person in history who’s ever done a fucking thing. How awesome is that! Women can’t say shit like that. The only thing women share traits with is a cheeseburger. I think we all know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about cows and women being like them. Cheeseburgers are made from cows.
As a man, did you know that you have collectively fucked over 10 billion women? That’s because you’re a man and you share. Some of them were super hot and for that you get a thousand Man Points. Some of them were ugly as shit too, which only gives you ten thousand Man Points. You’re a man. You can’t lose.
Women don’t share shit. Women compete like jackals over every little thing in their fucking lives. Have you ever seen a woman gloat an engagement ring over her harpy, fat-fuck friends? Disgusting. And women who agree and think it’s disgusting also are even more fucking disgusting for selling out their own. Go fuck yourselves, female misogynists.
If it were the other way around and women had to buy men engagement rings, then men would sell them and buy beer for all their man friends because jewels are silly and stupid and are also mined by slaves.
You know who abolished African slavery like 200 years ago? Men did. That means you also did because you’re a man. That’s how it works. Ask a feminist. She’ll tell you between shoving bear crawlers down her flabby fuck-off throat and regaling you with retarded anecdotes about her pet shit-rat named Frumpy Shits or some stupid ass thing. Women can’t name dogs for shit.
Women build their whole lives around Africans being slaves. Do some research into diamonds before you say ‘I do’. Or just consult the manliest man you know: yourself.
All men know anything and everything about all things that they’ve ever done. That’s why men don’t have to think about anything. That’s why you don’t even have to think to know that I know what I’m talking about; because you’re the manliest man who has ever been.
I’m also just man-joking. The manliest man in the world is Kenny Powers. He broke his back jumping the St. Lawrence River in a Lincoln Continental with a jet strapped to the boot.
He made it with ten miles to spare.
See the jump (only if you’re a man)
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Awww, I was hoping the guy who was trapped by a boulder and cut his arm off with a pocket knife then walked out of the wilderness for help would be mentioned somewhere.
I once got caught in a crevasse and had to hack off my manhood with a bottle opener. I now carry it in a purse on my belt. How manly is THAT?
Another thing…If guys were so dayum smart dont you think that they would know to wax their eye brows and perhaps shave their balls before sex? Apperenlty they arent as smart as you make them out to be…And by the way, you dont even qualify as a MAN…seeing as how you fuck MEN, that would make you and WOMEN. So jokes on you sweetheart…kisses
Dicks moderated numbering system is certainly unknown to mankind.
Wow, I saw that ramp as a tiny kid. I must have been… 3? 4? 1977/78 maybe was the year I saw it?
You know, Dick, something struck me about that video. The man narrating it was calm, authoritative, operating in a narrow, logical emotional range, and conveying knowledge. He wasn’t wasting a lot of time mollycoddling his viewer’s feelings. There’s an excitable, emasculated, feminized tone to many male newscasters these days. Personally, I’ve got nothing against lady newscasters; they’re nice to look at if nothing else.
But more smiley smiley and less talky talky would be nice.
-wolfe
Thats because of your God complex, nothing more.