Who’s Walking Who?
Women should not be allowed to walk down the street without a leash.
Every man knows what’s important in everything. It’s a little thing called fundamentals. For example, the fundamental skill of walking down the fucking street. Men know that’s important.
I was in San Diego this weekend for a meeting and I guess there was some kind of sports costume party at the hotel I was at. The reason I think this is because there were a bunch of women there dressed up as athletes. When I saw “dressed up” as athletes that’s exactly what I mean. In no way could they be mistaken for actual athletes as they were each a minimum of thirty pounds overweight.
You do the math. Unless you’re Babe Ruth, Tony Gwynn, or any American football player, exceeding two miles an hour while exceeding the stress levels of your Lane Bryant’s by ten pounds equals a heart attack.
I was walking up to the hotel with my luggage and who should come barreling down on me but two of the most flagrant abuses of the term athlete that I have ever seen. I believe they were each chowing down on a bear claw, however, that may have been an optical illusion. Women are great at optical illusions. That’s why they have makeup, to give men the illusion that they’re worth a damn. When two women share the collective weight of three or four women, my man-mind can’t help but fill in the blanks.
What happened next was that neither of the heifers moved out of the way. As a man, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The process of falling into a single file line when one has to share a lane with oncoming traffic. Of course women don’t have any such instinct.
Afraid that I would contract fatness on contact, I stepped into the grass and let the two big shit barges pass like I was some kind of sexy speedboat. As I was frowning and hoping it had been at least a day since they had watered the lawn, I came up with this theory:
Women should not be allowed to walk down the street without a leash.
What’s the fucking downside? None. Frankly I think women would embrace it. Just like they embrace everything a man tells them to do. It’s just like how women pretend to be even stupider and more useless than they actually are to attract men. Have a bitch slap a leash on herself and you’re talking hot summer fashion.
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February 13th, 2006 at 5:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Women should not be allowed to walk down the street without a leash.
How hallmark-like, I’m sure your imaginery partner would love to get that on a card tomorrow.
February 13th, 2006 at 5:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Why wait? With me Valentine’s Day is every day.
-Dick
February 13th, 2006 at 5:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
With you, every day is charmless.
February 13th, 2006 at 6:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Is that some kind of Wiccan saying? Because I don’t tolerate that kind of shit here.
-Dick
February 13th, 2006 at 6:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Good to know
February 13th, 2006 at 8:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 527da1e4b605d
I think you two like each other. Man hater and a woman hater. Oh the irony.
February 13th, 2006 at 8:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: e4caf524df8b3
Female,
I will express my love for you this Valentine’s Day by getting you a toilet seat.
Observe how when you shit on a toilet seat, it doesn’t follow you around afterwards.
You could learn much from that.
February 13th, 2006 at 8:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8dd3dc862afae
Devek, once again — priceless.
The poor little chimp has promised to leave several times over. A woman, however, can’t even keep the simplest of promises.
-Dick
February 13th, 2006 at 8:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Wrong. I can promise to eternally dislike you. Happy VD to you.
February 13th, 2006 at 9:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: da2d54a6e4b81
One of these days I’m just going to walk right into one of these women who refuse to yield to oncoming pedestrian traffic and say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were playing chicken.” Of course, I won’t walk into a barge, or someone who is otherwise ugly. I want to be able to enjoy it. Hell, the woman would probably give me her damn number if I did that.
In fact, tomorrow I have to lose a bunch of man-points by going to the mall…a necessary evil, unfortunately. The mall is an excellent place to walk into people who don’t have any manners of their own.
I’ll let you know how it turns out if I have the opportunity.
February 13th, 2006 at 9:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8dd3dc862afae
No you can’t. You have a finite number of years to dislike everyone.
Jesus. Women and their broken promises.
-Dick
February 14th, 2006 at 7:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 957564b4aff6d
I could definitely see a leash becoming high fashion. It’s already fashionable among certain sub-cultures - it wouldn’t take much to push it mainstream.
Pair it with a ball-gag, and I think we just may have a winning combo.
February 14th, 2006 at 12:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7f5a0b2070dae
What do you think of the use of a choker chain, Dick? I mean, those things are silver and shiny. You know how us chicks like shiny things.
February 14th, 2006 at 12:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
You know what, Grump. If Tiffany’s made one of those invisible electric dog collars, it would be an overnight best seller.
I like this choker chain idea. Maybe I should start selling them here.
-Dick
February 14th, 2006 at 1:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: b6ba5a45dd6bd
Great idea Grump, Dick, you know when you make those you could probably get Victoria’s Secret to buy millions of them.
February 14th, 2006 at 1:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
Check this out: Choke Chains from GunDogSupply.com.
Even the most expensive ones only cost a few bucks. Outfit them with tags with the mabtw.com logo on them for an extra ten, and you’re in business making a hefty profit.
You might even do custom engraving with the woman’s name on it — it would save guys endless time when she goes out trolling on the weekends.
Dakota Smith
February 14th, 2006 at 2:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
That’s great. If I wanted women to wear them though, I’d have to add another zero.
-Dick
February 14th, 2006 at 2:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: b6ba5a45dd6bd
Excellent Dakota!! We will engrave the woman’s name on the front of the tags and who she belongs to and where to return her on the back.
February 14th, 2006 at 3:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Good think you’re rich or you’d never get any at all.
February 14th, 2006 at 4:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
I really like this one. It actually looks like a modern fashion accessory.
You know, I bet you could sell them as jewelry. I could see this on the average woman at a club on Saturday night …
Dakota Smith
February 14th, 2006 at 4:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
And I just noticed that the description specifically says they fit Britannies and Springers! Just imagine how much trouble could have been saved by outfitting Britney Spears with one! :D
Dakota Smith
February 14th, 2006 at 4:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: dc4b477cfd13b
I’m amazed you haven’t figured this out yet, Fem:
Most women don’t actually want what they think is a nice guy. They say they want a nice guy, but when they find one, they find him boring.
The kind of men who actually attract women tend to treat them like shit. I’ve never figured out why women say they want one thing but are actually drawn to something else, but it’s true.
So if you’re worried that Dick might not be getting laid often enough because he’s not “nice” to women, I’d suggest you’re entirely wrong. He’s probably got women hanging off of him, eager to be abused.
Not that I’m saying you abuse women, Dick, ’cause I don’t think you do. I’m just saying that the most successful men sexually are the ones who treat women like shit.
February 14th, 2006 at 4:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
That may be true Dakota. Karma works in strange ways though. The only types of women attracted to abusive men are the ones devoid of a brain.
February 14th, 2006 at 5:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
What about the ones attracted to abusive websites?
-Dick
February 14th, 2006 at 5:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Are you asking me if I find you attractive? What do you think?
February 14th, 2006 at 6:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Like you said, Man’s fault is his optimism.
February 14th, 2006 at 6:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
What?
-Dick
February 14th, 2006 at 11:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: e4caf524df8b3
I think you just need to fuck off, Female :)
February 15th, 2006 at 3:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
I think you need to take your own advice Devek :)
February 15th, 2006 at 9:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 29b2f55551287
Fem said:
Like you said, Man’s fault is his optimism.
Hope for the best, and expect the worst. What more can you do?
February 16th, 2006 at 11:13 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Who knows. Female is just talking out her ass again.
-Dick
February 16th, 2006 at 5:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: a36a2d1d9ad9b
Don’t you think that you guys are a little harsh, I mean you came from a woman, shouldn’t you treat them like normal human beings, since they ARE. I mean, the only men who say women are useless are men who are full of themselves and never appreciate the work a woman does. My wife let me do one day of her life, and by the time I picked up the kids after all the work I did *which she does everyday* I was tired beyond belief! Please! You men are thinking with your penises rather than your dormant brains.
February 16th, 2006 at 6:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Matt, that’s an interesting point. What did her day consist of? Did you happen to record a timetable?
-Dick
February 16th, 2006 at 6:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: a36a2d1d9ad9b
Well I guess it sort of went like..:
First wake up the kids, get them dressed, get breakfast ready, drive them to school without them being late, going back home clean up from breakfast, then just, you know clean up the house, then laundry..lots of laundry.., made the beds, went to the post office, bank, dmv, supermarket, picked up the kids, went home, then tried to get them to do their homework, clean up their messes
*kids can put damage from a tornado to shame*
get dinner started, serve that, clean up, got the kids to bed after a while, then finally I went into my room and gave my wife a kiss and fell asleep,
Sorry if that was long, but that was just a normal day for her when she doesn’t have work.
February 16th, 2006 at 6:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: a36a2d1d9ad9b
And she never does JUST that all day, she works as a ECT nurse. Usually the night shifts and trying to get a depressed person submissive and then use shock therapy doesn’t sound too fun
February 16th, 2006 at 6:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7f5a0b2070dae
Matt,
your wife is admirable. Congrats on finding such a wonderful woman. I’m glad you treat her like gold - a Queen - for such a woman as she deserves to be honoured.
February 16th, 2006 at 6:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Your wife has to go to the DMV and the post office every day? I’m going to have to assume she’s a nurse and a DMV worker then.
-Dick
February 16th, 2006 at 6:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: a36a2d1d9ad9b
Heh, No it was actually that one day but I mean, its the DMV, If anyone has to go there, man or women, its time consuming and stressful.
February 16th, 2006 at 6:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: a36a2d1d9ad9b
Grump,
I do not treat my wife like a Queen. I just show her the respect she deserves!
February 16th, 2006 at 6:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Ah. However, you did say these were things your wife did “every day”. I assumed, incorrectly, you meant that. Was it satire perhaps?
-Dick
February 16th, 2006 at 6:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: a36a2d1d9ad9b
I’m sorry, I correct myself. The things she does almost everyday, Though all the things that needed to be done on that particular day.
February 16th, 2006 at 6:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
She goes to the DMV almost everyday? I’m fairly certain I can count the number of DMV visits the average person makes on one hand.
It sounds like your wife stacked a particularly “stressful” day in order to sabotage your experiment.
-Dick
February 16th, 2006 at 6:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: a36a2d1d9ad9b
I’m sorry I’m not being specific enough. All the things she usually does during a day without work, save the DMV and I actually don’t know how often she goes to the post office, maybe she has a snail mail pen pal. Did that get the nail on the head???
February 16th, 2006 at 6:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: a36a2d1d9ad9b
I’m sorry I’m not clear enough, I was just hoping you guys would maybe have the slightest bit of respect for women left in you. I mean, if you didn’t bitch about how bad you think women are all day, maybe you’d be a little more optimistic, when I say that I mean, you’re always focusing on the opposite sex’s negativities, and not caring to look at your own. If you choose to insult or disregard my note, well, I thank you for reading it anyway. I’ve got to be going now.
Bye
February 16th, 2006 at 7:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 620db7e22a363
Matt, it is not that I do not respect women, I do not however respect feminists. I do beleive that there are things men are designed for and things women are designed for and those lines should not be crossed. Now this may sound “old fashion” or perhaps like a 50’s mentality to you, but you must realize that these ideals work and stood for a long time. Until 50 years ago when feminism appeared. Think about this Matt, are your opinions arriving from your own beliefs or from what feminism has lead you to believe?
February 19th, 2006 at 6:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
This is plain comedy. I read this and cant help but laugh at your pity scabbling. I almost died laughing. Where do you get this stuff a little hand book called comedy for dummies. oman well now thats all over. plain science here men are stronger through fact, they have more testostrum. Listen I can’t spell it but sound it out. And if you can’t still its sort of that steriod stuff. But keep it up it’s just getting good.
February 19th, 2006 at 6:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
O and just for a question… Is the baby the egg or the sperm because i think its the sperm but people say its the egg
February 20th, 2006 at 12:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 2d8e0be60bc47
Are we taking bets that it’s another boring female ?
It’s a facsimile of female !
Does not know when to stop.
Has to post repetitively, just to explain a specific point.
February 20th, 2006 at 4:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4fcada9323419
It does seem to be some what of a clone of female doesn’t it Christian J?
February 20th, 2006 at 6:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
Lol me a fleemale. I know I’m sexy but not a man magnet. lmao….. I’m just saying its funny how you make fun of each other and your jokes too. And just for a fact I’m a guy and that dingling down there in my pants proves it.
February 20th, 2006 at 6:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
“Quote” Keep up your efforts oman its free comedy here. I not try to be against us guys its just funny thats all. And yes women are fat cow if not for chemicals and diet pills. But uh… ….lets seee what I can say… …not much when your 14. And yeah that joke about the Dick coming after the bush for president on the “Why women hate sex” page I think was funny and like i said before not trying to be rude to us guys really. Also its funny how women act so mature and yet there just competing with us. But yeah this website cools me off if I’m pissed off at women. Just for a question what would this planet be like if all women were prositudes(think thats how you spell it)?
P.S. plz Answer previous question.
February 20th, 2006 at 7:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 530a57c708864
Then stop behaving like one.
February 20th, 2006 at 7:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
Holy crap I am. I wonder if women have a deisea (crap i cant spell it but wat ever) that interfers with a males brain turning him into a female, creating gay people. hehe lol… sry guys i’m just having alittle fun. But damn I am becoming a little more sensitive each time i get near a women or it just could be an erection (if shes hot).
February 20th, 2006 at 7:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
ROFL. I agree.
February 20th, 2006 at 7:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
testostrum is the fact and is what make us stronger than you women. And don’t women use steriods to beef themselves up and make them think that there at the top of the world. The comedy is dove also. why the hell would they make us waste are good hard earned cash so you could look better and how high esteem. i just think its a plain fake. just to make you give them money and improve their stock market. face it it stupid. And you misunderstood my concept. “This is plain comedy and But keep it up it’s just getting good” where the jokes that you threw back and forth at each other and the”testostrum and steriod stuff” was a basic fact you need to face to understand that males are stronger than females. Also the government agrees, by hitting a women and you get charged or somthin like that. So get out of your dream world where men are slaves and just realize the truth. I’m not trying to impose to much. Instead I want you to realize your going to have a incredibly hard time convincing us that you are better what we know about you.
P.S. I know I had a spelling mistake in there but owell I’m sure you females know where to find it. Probably.
February 20th, 2006 at 7:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
it’s just too easy.
February 21st, 2006 at 6:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
Klapsis, The real comedy is your attempts to post on this site. Your diction and grammar are laughable. If you truly are 14, I would suggest refraining from entering this site until you are a little older and better able to comprehend, not to mention, mature and educated enough to participate in an intelligent fashion. “Testostrum” is testosterone, you twit.
February 21st, 2006 at 1:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
O my grammer is better. but it suck when i type fast bacause im always in a hurry
February 21st, 2006 at 1:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
Twit is a funny word. >:( except when people say that about me and yes my health subject sucks and I might not pay attention because it bores. But that doesn’t mean you can call me twit. It just boring thats all. intelligent fashion? is that some kind of clothing. AND STILL NO ONE ANSWERED ANY OF MY QUESTIONS!
February 21st, 2006 at 2:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
P.S. I believe you spelt dictionary worng “Diction” and no, If it a sort way of saying dictionary then sry I didn’t.
February 21st, 2006 at 2:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 023b86367d04e
Your diction is simply your choice of words. You choose badly.
February 21st, 2006 at 11:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Klapsis, the educational system is cheating you. They are easily robbing you of the better part of a million dollars in future earnings. That’s most unfortunate.
Either that, or your sense of self-esteem is slightly inflated relative to your intellect. Or both.
-wolfe
February 22nd, 2006 at 5:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
Klapsis,
You might want to use that dictionary for more than a drink coaster, you twit.
February 23rd, 2006 at 3:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
I really don’t what your trying to get me.
February 23rd, 2006 at 3:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: db96267422272
February 23rd, 2006 at 10:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
Klapsis: Just to be clear the “Same with you. I have no idea what your saying and prbably if I did I wouldn’t care. So go suck a fat dick.” comes from you, even though you’ve signed it with my signature.
I’ll be clearer, and stick to words of a syllable or two. No insult intended. The way you write is the way people who haven’t seen you judge you. It may be unfair, but that’s the way it is.
When you use made-up words like “deisea” (what did you mean by that?) and attack others for using words like “diction”, you end up making yourself look foolish.
Now, if you don’t want a job where you use words, no problem.
But the best jobs, that allow you to make the most money, use words and math.
Again, that may not be fair, but that’s the way it is.
Say school’s boring you. You want to be a plumber or an electrician or a mechanic. Those are good jobs, and they don’t require a lot of writing, spelling or any of that stuff. But… if you want to make even more money, you want to be a plumber/electrician/mechanic that owns his own business and has other plumbers, electricians, and mechanics working for him.
To do that, you need to communicate in writing, and you need enough math to understand accounting so that people don’t cheat you.
The difference in what you can likely make, knowing a bit of math, and how to communicate properly is at least a million dollars over your life.
So the question is: do you want to accept having a million dollars taken from you, by being taught poorly? Or do you want to say F- that… I want to learn so I can earn.
That’s all I was saying.
Regards,
-wolfe
P.S. Don’t count on getting away with that shit about sucking dicks again. Make your choice.
February 24th, 2006 at 6:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 281c250662a27
Thank you wolfe. That was my point. Coming on to this site, calling members here foolish for their point of view, but doing so with poor spelling and wording (grammar and diction) really draws attention to one’s self. And I, for one, am not above pointing out mistakes.
December 5th, 2007 at 1:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
Oh wow.
That is one of your most insulting posts.
So what? They didn’t move out of they way.
That is no reason for every woman to be put on a leash.
April 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6656fdd0cecf5
whommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Thank you very much.
May 19th, 2008 at 5:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 29178e659dd38
When the sperm enters the egg, the egg starts to divide into trillions of cells until it becomes a fetus or a baby.