Why Do Women Make Shitty Musicians?
This question was sent to me by a reader and I appreciate it:
“Dick, why do women make such shitty musicians?”
I happen to disagree with the question. See, unlike women, men can disagree with things like questions and eye-rolls, even though they’re not technically statements to be disagreed with. It’s because questions and fucking eye-rolls and other bullshits are just like saying the same thing that is being implied. It’s the same.
Women always fuck that up. They think keeping their mouths shut gives them carte blanche to behave however fucking terribly they want.
Women don’t make shitty musicians. That’s like saying McDonald’s makes shitty Italian food. McDonald’s doesn’t even make pizza, what the fuck are you talking about?
Exactly.
Think of the greatest composers in history. That’s easy. You’ve got your Mozart and your Beethoven and your Mothersbaugh, but what about the not-so-greats? You could probably do some digging on the internet and if you were a woman you could convince a man to do some digging on the internet and then talk about the results like you fucking knew all of them already because as a woman you pull that manner of shit all the time. What you’d find in the annals of music is a sausage party so jam packed with men it belongs about a block from the airport.
Women are a fucking travesty to music. Music and women are natural enemies just like women and beer. Women fucking hate people having a good time and they’re outrageous control freaks. That’s also why women hate sex. They’re too busy orgasming to control it like men do, so it makes them bitter and full of spite. That’s also why they hate music. They consider it a form of rape. Ear rape.
Music isn’t like other professions either where a woman will occasionally slip through the cracks and actually be worth a fuck. That’s where I swoop in and charitably dole out a MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month Award, while simultaneously man-ignoring all of said woman’s other fuck-ups. ‘Man-ignoring’ is when you behave as if you don’t know something, but you still keep it in your mind to act upon later and don’t throw your life off a fucking cliff like a lemming. Women only have one setting on their ignore switch. It’s either Behave Sensibly For a Few Days or Fucking Invent History as You Go! Fuck it!
Also, women practice too goddamn much to be any good at music. Practice is a silly and womanly thing. It’s just prancing around the sidelines while the real job gets done on the field — the field of music.
Here’s a good question: if women are men are equal, which they’re fucking not, but every fuckwit, idiot women on the planet wants to force feed it to young men halfway between breast and bottle; then why hasn’t there been a female Mozart? Why hasn’t some little girl hopped off her daddy’s lap and started jamming?
It’s because women completely suck at music. I’m sure science will prove exactly why someday — just like it proven women can’t read maps worth a fuck. Until then logic and man reason leads the way:
How many woman Mozarts have there been? None. Fuck you. Women suck at music.
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Music wise the form of autism that elevates talent in music can be considered a gift but in return you dont really know much outside of that. Also im a big music fan so I like alot more female artists than most of the males on here especially since I love metal and there are some good female singers out there except they dont get down and dirty for us men.
I’m not so sure Autism can be construed as a gift.
I actually like some women singers. But my point is when did hillary duff or hannah montana become the next great artist. What women ruined in music is the sound. I like some female singers and some female band members but when did pop music with shitty much coming out of young whores become music?
No, the fact that there are so many more male achievers than girl achievers in every pragmatic field and that despite the quota system, we still earn 1/4 more than girls in the free market economy…
Provides irrefutable proof that men are better than women. So let’s see, men can outclass girls in every field - maths, English (show me the fucking girl Stephen King - oh, wait, there is none, just a sub-par cunt who got elevated for having a vagina), science, or any other field. Men with the gift of Autism can learn multiple languages. Men with ailments like blindness tune their minds inwards. Girls just whine and bitch.
Men are better than women.
That’s a great list but unfortunately the men here will just come back with “but how many of those “wymmen” composers has anyone ever heard of?” The illogical point being that this somehow proves that male composers are better and have always been so.
They don’t believe that a patriarchal neglect of women’s achievements has ever happened, cause that don’t suit their agenda. Nice try though, Gary.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_female_composers
Good point.
-Dick
The few women who are good at music are so only because of rare endocrinological imbalances that see them endowed with excess testosterone.
I do believe that men are generally better than women at music. The one woman I know who is an evolutionary psychologist agrees from the scientific viewpoint that it COULD be a kind of “songbird” phenomenon (which might explain why some male artists start to suck once they’ve passed prime reproductive years). I know that when I started playing, I was simply GOOD at it. My sisters were only mediocre, though we are all part of the same musical family. …of course, this is all just heresay, but I like to think people are intelligent enough these days to accept that there must be some differences in genders that go beyond what we are forced to recognize by overt appearance.
What are women better at? Multi-tasking. This MIGHT be due to the proportionately large corpus collosum in women (the part of the brain most known for communication between brain hemispheres). I hate multi-tasking, and I know no man who is naturally good at it (we learn, instead). But also let me say this about the scientific literature: individual differences are much more statistically significant than gender differences. Therefore, all this discussion may largely be a waste of our time. For instance, women are generally better than men at language? Perhaps. But I have only one person female friend (an internationally recognized poet, at that) who is a better writer than I. At the same time, some of those women who can’t write or speak crap as far as I’m concerned are better at math than me. And these days, those of us who study the human brain are not so sure why the current gender difference there exists. It’s likely due at least in part to bias in various forms.
All that being said, women suck. I’m just kind of pissed that they get to pick and choose while we are expected to do some kind of mating dance in the street in front of their houses so they can just PICK who they like. They really don’t know what it is to be lonely, I’ve learned. Their stories are PITIFULLY SHALLOW in that regard. But whatever. Hmmmm mating dance in the street…I haven’t actually tried that yet. Hot girl gets home at 5. We’ll see.
Billy is hitting the nail in the coffin, women are homewreckers take a look at Cynthia A. Sommers for example.
Well it is true that women never have the same commitment as men in anything. Just take look at marraiges, women are wrecking homes and lives like a tornado from hell.
As a singer, pianist and drummer myself, I would say that the gigging scene is almost entirely male-dominated. I’ve only ever met one other female drummer and she sucked. I’ll be honest and say that I don’t think I suck, but I certainly can’t keep up with some of the better male drummers out there. I think many women lack the passion and commitment that keeps men driven to become really good at their chosen instrument. Maybe women really don’t make such good composers as men. I think when we have the commitment however, we can make very good performers - especially when it comes to vocal performances. Hildegard of Bingen, Billie Holliday, Nina Simone, Ella Fitzgerald, Maria Callas and Lisa Gerrard are a few notable women that I can think of in music. I can probably name far more men.
With the odd exception or two. Some only ever play their vocal cords. But to the envy of any manmade instrument.
Case in point:
- Alannah Myles - song instead of a kiss
Women are shit musicians,
I have only ever met or even seen one or two girls who can actually shred a guitar even half as good as most male guitarists.
Men are better than women at music! For every instrument there is a woman who can play it better than any other woman, and about 2 to 2,000 more men who can play that instrument better than she can.
x
The mind of a man, aye. But that of an imbecilic, ignorant or confoundedly evil one at that.
- Nightwish - The Wayfarer
There is one (and only one) amazing female writer:
Ayn Rand
but you’re going to have a bell-shaped curve, and she was the one woman who had, incredibly, the brain of a man.
Ah yes. Aurora. The Naked Sun. Olivaw.
Asaro’s work is shaky writing, but a good read. Looks like a woman trying to write for men… and succeeding to at least some degree.
Thank you, Sony. I may well buy this.
@Female: House, Rock, Hip-hop, Soul, Blues, Jazz, Pop, Rap, Folk, Trance.
OK. That’s about an 80 year span of music.
Out of 6000 years of human music.
So you beat 1%.
That makes you not “narrow”.
Come on.
Moreover, most of what you list is late 20th century pap.
It may be good pap, but it’s all one era, monocultured (American no less!) and most of it (all of it?) unlikely to stand the test of time.
At least learn the difference between medieval, baroque, and classical. Listen to the great Christian liturgies set to song. (Seriously!) Listen to Kol Nidrei. (Curiously, Jews seem surprisingly weak at liturgical music. Probably because there were no sponsors).
Listen to Johnny Cash and understand why he was a giant of country, even if you view country as crap. ESPECIALLY if you view country as crap.
Even this: Listen to Tristan Fry and Sky’s late 70’s rock takes on classical music. Admire John Williams’ (no not the composer) guitar take on ‘Tocatta’.
And play an instrument. It’s not too late. I play the piano, the recorder (alto) and the guitar (acoustic; 6 string). I play all of them dreadfully badly, but the friends I play with don’t mind.
A woman who can appreciate Dali (I can’t), is capable of more than a few scattered late 20th century bits of cultural musical detritus.
LISTEN. Learn. I’ll post a list on my blog (remind me if I don’t) of what’s good to listen to to help form your tastes. Much of it is free or cheap.
-wolfe
Just finished rereading Catherine Asaro’s Aurora in four Voices novelette.
First time round was quite a few years ago in junior high, if my memory serves me well, mistaken in my belief that it was a sequel to Asimov’s Robots, Foundation and Empire series, which I’d just gone through entirely from my dad’s collection and new, pristine books of which I sought, prolonging it beyond his demise.
At very first I even thought she was an author commissioned by Asimov’s publishing house or a fan passionately trying to continue the series from where he eventually left off, as homage of sorts.
Passion cannot entirely make due bereft of adequate talent. The action’s spacebourne and in the future though, so why pass it up?
Kinda mushy but a free, simple, relaxing read.
Narrow? I don’t think so. My list includes House, Rock, Hip-Hop, Soul, Blues, Jazz, Pop, a dash of rap (not too much!!) Folk and electronic trance. I’d say that’s pretty broad. And I don’t even know what genre Bjork should go into!
As for Melba and Dame Joan….I don’t “do” musicals or opera. It all sounds the same and as if they are yelling. Yea, that’s right. I got game.
What kind of intrument is that, Female?
Concussion by any chance?
:) Good one. Not sure how he she died. Too lazy too google.