Why Do Women Make Shitty Musicians?
This question was sent to me by a reader and I appreciate it:
“Dick, why do women make such shitty musicians?”
I happen to disagree with the question. See, unlike women, men can disagree with things like questions and eye-rolls, even though they’re not technically statements to be disagreed with. It’s because questions and fucking eye-rolls and other bullshits are just like saying the same thing that is being implied. It’s the same.
Women always fuck that up. They think keeping their mouths shut gives them carte blanche to behave however fucking terribly they want.
Women don’t make shitty musicians. That’s like saying McDonald’s makes shitty Italian food. McDonald’s doesn’t even make pizza, what the fuck are you talking about?
Exactly.
Think of the greatest composers in history. That’s easy. You’ve got your Mozart and your Beethoven and your Mothersbaugh, but what about the not-so-greats? You could probably do some digging on the internet and if you were a woman you could convince a man to do some digging on the internet and then talk about the results like you fucking knew all of them already because as a woman you pull that manner of shit all the time. What you’d find in the annals of music is a sausage party so jam packed with men it belongs about a block from the airport.
Women are a fucking travesty to music. Music and women are natural enemies just like women and beer. Women fucking hate people having a good time and they’re outrageous control freaks. That’s also why women hate sex. They’re too busy orgasming to control it like men do, so it makes them bitter and full of spite. That’s also why they hate music. They consider it a form of rape. Ear rape.
Music isn’t like other professions either where a woman will occasionally slip through the cracks and actually be worth a fuck. That’s where I swoop in and charitably dole out a MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month Award, while simultaneously man-ignoring all of said woman’s other fuck-ups. ‘Man-ignoring’ is when you behave as if you don’t know something, but you still keep it in your mind to act upon later and don’t throw your life off a fucking cliff like a lemming. Women only have one setting on their ignore switch. It’s either Behave Sensibly For a Few Days or Fucking Invent History as You Go! Fuck it!
Also, women practice too goddamn much to be any good at music. Practice is a silly and womanly thing. It’s just prancing around the sidelines while the real job gets done on the field — the field of music.
Here’s a good question: if women are men are equal, which they’re fucking not, but every fuckwit, idiot women on the planet wants to force feed it to young men halfway between breast and bottle; then why hasn’t there been a female Mozart? Why hasn’t some little girl hopped off her daddy’s lap and started jamming?
It’s because women completely suck at music. I’m sure science will prove exactly why someday — just like it proven women can’t read maps worth a fuck. Until then logic and man reason leads the way:
How many woman Mozarts have there been? None. Fuck you. Women suck at music.
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Wish this was legal in the US?
http://www.xpl.se/ge-inte-fingret-i-ryssland.html
Patti Smith was pretty dope.
and so was Billie Holiday
and so was Bessie Smith, Ma Rainey, and Memphis Minnie
and Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth
and that other girl in the Pixies,
and those other ones in The Mekons
and Kimya Dawson was pretty good sometimes, especially that song “The Beer”
and PJ Harvey, back when she was angry
and Patsy Cline
Other than that and a few other token women that I forget, yeah, women do suck at music. But those ones are the “Honorary Men”.
Are any of them better than Bob Dylan, The Wu-Tang Clan or Big Black? No. But Patti Smith is still in the top 50 musicians of all time, as far as I’m concerned.
Fuck Alicia Keys and whoever mentioned her.
Dick is right about everything and it’s really depressing.
There were women here who said “Who cares about spelling? It’s just a blog!” I can look past spelling and grammatical errors, no matter how wrong they may be. He made a point. And you can’t refute it. Moron.
MansVoice Says:
Nope, I dont see any achievements. Lets see.
Art? Mono Lisa - Painted by a man. All famous paintings were by a man(Those that I know of are considered famous). Enough said.
Engineering? What the fuck has women engineered?
History? Top student was a guy in my school for 2 years running - Me. As for the best history classes etc, it comprises of guys. Women form the middle rung because they study alot though being average is useless.
Maths and Science? Men mathematicians or scientists PWN all women accomplishments in that area. Try to deny this if you can. Maths and science is about invention and what leads to the future. Like what “itsaMansWorld” said in another forum, list 10 things that you use regularly that women have created. Those 10 cannot include bitching, whoring and the special olympics.
The above comment was posted by a man. No surprise there, considering the ample grammatical errors included. It’s the Mona* Lisa. All famous pantings were by MEN (that’s plural sweety). It would also be “What the fuck HAVE women engineered?” the history classes would be COMPRISED of guys. Alot is two words… a lot. Maths and sciences.* That’s just scratching the surface, although there are still many more errors I failed to touch upon here. What school did you go to? Sounds like you were the one in a special school.
How many girls are in Iron Maiden? Oh yeah none because they suck at music.
Yeah, female metal vocals are complete shit. They always find a way to totally fuck up death growl. If they opt not to do death vocals, they break out pussy clean female vocals which are horridly abrasive to anyone who is not a faggot.
umm…what the fuck are you talking about?
as someone here has said Mozart had a specific form of Autism. in a time where a women would not have been allowed to play music apart from in her otherwise unoccupied time between reaching sexual maturity and getting a husband. the same applied for art.
and the music world is similarly represented in male and female.
the reason that maleness is slightly more prevalent is because when a man has a child he leaves it with his wife to go touring. whereas if a woman were to leave her child with her husband or with a child-minded she’d be a ‘bad mother’. isn’t that fucking crazy?
i could make a list of amazing female musicians (and artists by the way) but it would invoke some retarded retort about their genre or something…
but seriously. get out of the 19th century.
I’ve seen Hayley from Paramore play a guitar acoustically on some slow song but I’m not sure the depth of her power.
kim deal of the pixies and the breeders is a bad-ass bass player. it’s true that there are few women who rock- but there are some. and i would hate to imagine a world of male only vocalists. dinner without billie holiday? and certainly the captain would have been nothing without tenille! ha-
‘the captain’
that’s funny
Women have now had decades to express their ‘talents’ as musicians and composers and all you could come up with is a list of women who are primarily singers.
Take away the music which is far more often than not, composed, played, produced and mixed by men, and you’re left with a female singer prancing around in a slut like fashion while singing about sex, or relationships or empowerment. Big fucking yawn.
The question wasnt “Why arent there any female musicians?”, it was “Why Do Women Make Shitty Musicians?”.
If they werent shitty musicians the majority of musicians you listen to wouldnt be male.
As music is something I’m extremely passionate about, I felt particularly compelled to tell this asshole a thing or two about this post.
The reason there is no female Mozart is that during his time period, and for hundreds of years to come, woman were too busy being slaves to bastards like you that couldn’t take care of yourselves.
As for a list of great female musicians? I’ll be glad to inform you of some you’re too busy being an ignorant dick to know about. While the majority of musicians I listen to happen to be male, my head isn’t shoved too far up my ass to appreciate some of the female variety. How about Janis Joplin, Bjork, Kim Deal, Tori Amos, Stevie Nicks, Joan Jett, Liz Phair, Gwen Stefani, Melissa Ethridge, Sarah McLachlan, Meredith Brooks, Grace Slick, and hundreds of others that you’d give well-deserved credit, had you not been such a churlish asshole.
You mean like how Metallica said its all about the music and not the money?
Napster.
How old are you?
Because you think as though you are a 13-year-old boy.
Look up Paramore, they are a band, not classical, but a band that the lead singer is a woman, and she has said that she wants the band to be known for their music, and not her sexuality.
So there is still substance in the female music industry.
Agreed. Outlier. Just like the girl that will take 10 men in a no holes barred gang bang, there are smart decent women. But they are the exception. The great majority fall in the big fat pie hole of what we like to call MOST.
Here is a good example of why women are clueless. Women focus on the artist and not the music. Just look at all the entertainment news and reality shows. Content is meaningless.
Thank god for men like Dick who look for content and could give a shit what sex organs the creator has. Purely from a quantitative standpoint I would have to say, Men are better than Women. Case closed.
Even though you’re a bitter hag I maybe could throw a mercy boner your way Hilary if you aren’t too fat. Sign up for the forums and shoot me a pm.
Look at Alicia Keys.
Not only is she a very successful musician, who also went to Columbia on a scholarship, so she is also intelligent.
The reason that there aren’t many female musicians was that the world was populated by men like Dick, and women musicians wouldn’t be taken seriously.
I am a fan of very technical music, mainly thrash metal and heavy metal. There is absolutly nothing that sickens me more than hearing some fucking whore bitch on a microphone about an invented story concerning gang rape, or sub par Man-hating. She isn’t metal, but take that cunt from Evanesence. She ain’t stupid, because she knows she is to ugly to make a living in any genre aside from watered down radio rock. She really can’t sing worth a fuck, either, and that is another reason she is in a radio rock band, because the fact that she is ‘a woman in a Man’s genre’ causes those who don’t know any better to buy her shit; therefore, she doesn’t need to be a good vocalist to make money. Just give any cunt off the street a piano, a dress, and a group of half-queers wailing on some power chords that I am sure sounded great in the studio, and you have everything required for commercial success. Seeing that fucking cunt on MTV puppeteering the masses is truely blasphemous.
To be perfectly correct, you can shift without using the clutch in a manual and still not incur any significant wear or damage on your transmission system.
But that’s just one of the many things that require manly virtuosity with your instrument to achieve; hence no woman ever, and many men for that matter, will achieve this in their life time. That’s if they actually tried in the first place.
Now, I’m perfectly aware this subject is pointless apriori since most of you pansies over the pond steer autos just like the misses and make believe you’re driving.
- Jimmy Hendrix - Angel
So, we let women take recognition for inventing Kevlar and windscreen wipers - both commendable contributions, but we rejected women’s other discoveries/inventions out of pure spite?
Sounds like feminine logic to me.
Female, shut the fuck up. If a woman invented a space shuttle that runs on pure water, she would become a billionaire overnight.
Men know there is fuck all chance of this happening. This is why we insist that men are better than women. Tell your gender to collectively pull their thumbs out and our attitudes towards women will change.
Alternatively, you can do nothing and continue to walk in man’s shadow.
Which will you choose?
Incredible post. Well said, well said. Yeah Female, “patriarchal neglect” - What the fuck is there to be neglected? If every man ignores your bitching, it isnt “patriarchal neglect”. Up yours, bitch.
Need you even ask?
Why, the flawless clutch burnout and clutchless shifting in a stick shift, of course!