Ask Dick: Why is Prostitution Illegal?
The following question was sent to me by a reader Erik.
Here in America prostitution is illegal, yet pornography is completely okay so long as all participants are eighteen and over. This is what confuses me: Is pornography (that is to say, intercourse between two parties) not the same as prostitution?
Why is prostitution illegal?
Good question, Erik. Now prepare your mind for a mantomic explosion of answer.
Prostitution is illegal because women hate the fuck out of each other.
Men love women. I’m a man and I love women so much I would have sex with all of them if I could. Even the fat ones.
Fat women are like dessert trolleys. They’re stuffed with desserts and they’re no good in the sack.
Let’s look at the facts.
Men give women free cars and free money so women can drive to the mall and blow that free money on useless bullshit. That’s nice of us. Men also built strip clubs and Hooters so women can easily put themselves through medical school. Again, quite nice of us. Do you know how much money strippers make every night for doing almost nothing? Like two grand. That’s just more good old benevolent men footing the tab at the foot of the stage. Men are like fire hoses of altruism. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got the window closed, we’re busting it the fuck down with generosity. Clean yourself up.
That’s where prostitution comes in. Men invented prostitution so no woman anywhere would ever have a single problem in her life.
Unless you call too much sex a problem!
Women’s magazines, women’s financial manuals (which include such gems as: be more confident when asking for a raise. While you’re at it, grow a penis, honey jugs. That’s about as likely as a woman growing a backbone), and women’s fitness classes, are all full of lady-problems solved very easily by man’s first invention: prostitution.
Prostitution is the only way in the world you can get free money. You don’t even have to stand in line like you do for welfare. Prostitution comes to you.
Have a bite of this logical Manwich.
All women use prostitution to get free sushi without batting an eye. Sushi is fucking expensive. Ergo, women use prostitution to get free money. Or is every woman at a sushi bar somehow not a prostitute?
The reason prostitution is illegal is women hate seeing other women having it easy. Remember how many women called Anna Nichole Smith a whore when she married that old rich guy? Look at how many women hate Heather Mills. Yes, Heather Mills is a cunt, but women don’t know that. They just hate Heather Mills because she has it easy.
Women are nature’s spanner. Once you’ve got some shit together and some man cogs lined up cranking out the good times, in is chucked a woman and mucked go your gears. That’s what women did with prostitution.
I think that’s what the Bible means allegorically speaking when it says Eve ruined the Garden of Eden. Prostitution was busy solving all the problems of womankind while men solved their own, but women had to go and wreck it with a fucking fascist crusade. I don’t know what the apple means as a metaphor though. Maybe it just represents something shiny. Women will do anything for shiny.
If you really want the whole scoop here, I can only recommend the following. Pay the next woman you’re going to have sex with 20 bucks before you do. And make sure she knows what it’s for.
You’ll thank me for it.
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Well then, these guys should lay off the drinking. In fact, I doubt that they were totally non-compliant. They got drunk, fucked an ugly chick, and then felt bad about it the next day.
Again, it’s “Boy Who Cried Wolf” situation. If the majority of things you hear out of women are just whining about her supposed trials and tribulations, what’s one more bit of whining?
As to men being raped, it rarely happens, except from male pedophiles or in prison. It’s not something men really think about as an actual possibility.
All I’m saying is, if all women ever do is whine about trivialities, why should men listen to the same level of whining about important matters? How are we to actually tell the difference.
Female whining is familiar background noise to men, of no real consequence except to be avoided if possible. How are we to tell the difference between normal background whining and real problems?
Here’s a thought: why don’t women get a grip and only whine if it’s really a problem?
Answer: because they can’t.
Actually.. more men get raped by women than you think.
Do a google on it.
and I’ll summarize…
Men experience nocturnal erections… even when passed out from drinking.
There have been a few cases of women finding men passed out and undressing them and getting them hard and then having sex with them.
Even one case where the woman raped a man.. got pregnant and came after him for child support.
Difference is that a man normally won’t claim he was raped as people just laugh at him.
Can you imagine if everybody laughed at women who claimed they were raped?
Sonyad, I wasn’t being sarcastic.
Of course it seems ludicrous from an outside point of view, and I cannot say that it makes much sense to me either yet but as I said a fantasy doesn’t tend to follow reality, nor does it have to make logical sense.
The human mind is a complex thing, and who knows to what extent to a person can suffer trauma on a mental/psychological level after being through such an ordeal? I guess the mind will try to make sense of it somehow… perhaps rape fantasies are the minds way of dealing with it. I honestly don’t know.
All I know is that I am fortunate that I have never been through such a situation. I hope I never have to.
Such charm, such wit, surely you must have men beating down your door just to bask in your radiant light, you spirit lifting presence. You may go now kitten, grown ups are talking and you should not interrupt.
-Oldone
oh just stop nagging just shut the fuck up how come these days men are more like women and women are more like men women are the ones that go to work and and live happily on there own we don’t really care us women went through shit in the past and we wont any more we are over it men also do this to we are all equal now go and get a life you bunch of of cocksuckers
@Luka - Alright, I will agree that fantasy and reality are indeed two different things. However, to fantasize about an act that is, to quote you:”….humiliating and painful rather than pleasurable.” Seems quite ludicrous, turning something viewed as evil into something fun and pleasurable. I do not know anyone who fantasizes about being murdered or being drawn-and-quartered. I certainly do not fantasize about being stabbed or having a group of people beat me with a baseball bat. These are on a par with rape as far as the viciousness of the act. Why then would someone have a fantasy about rape? It is to me not but utter depravity.
-Oldone
Again, it’s “Boy Who Cried Wolf” situation. If the majority of things you hear out of women are just whining about her supposed trials and tribulations, what’s one more bit of whining?
As to men being raped, it rarely happens, except from male pedophiles or in prison. It’s not something men really think about as an actual possibility.
All I’m saying is, if all women ever do is whine about trivialities, why should men listen to the same level of whining about important matters? How are we to actually tell the difference.
Female whining is familiar background noise to men, of no real consequence except to be avoided if possible. How are we to tell the difference between normal background whining and real problems?
Here’s a thought: why don’t women get a grip and only whine if it’s really a problem?
Answer: because they can’t.
Of course you did. What do you think the Special Olympics is all about? For that matter, why are the handicapped always referred to as “Special?” Because society (read: women) think so little of them that they’re convinced that they’ll keel over and die if they’re not told how wonderful they are at every turn. Like they couldn’t possibly face up to what they are without a generous helping of rose-coloured bullshit. How condescending. Hey, pop quiz: who founded the Special Olympics, a man or a woman? I’ll give you two guesses.
To everyone else: I realise I’m off the topic and I apologise for disrupting the discussion, but this kind of shit’s always pissed me off and I can’t let it slide.
Psychologically the effects are the same, although I’ll concede that sadly women receive more sympathy after the fact.
‘Cept yer average asshole is not tantamount to yer average pussy.
Apart from the fragrance in the case of hygienically challenged ladies.
It can’t possibly be that bad… Surely rapists aren’t real men. They must be ethereal, jellyfish, gingerbreadmen or some other flaccid, ectoplasmatic shit.
And they must invariably have small penises! Barely feel a thing.
Well? Which one is it?
Out with it women! For goodness’ sake…
I think rape is horrible enough that it should be obvious women’s comments on it are genuine. It’s a brutal crime that is in nowhere near the same league as pregnancy or periods. Also, men can’t give birth or have a period, but they can be raped, so they can imagine the horror of that scenario.
Just FYI, Alex, this is one area that we can agree. I’ve known a number of women who were raped, and it seriously messed them up, often for life.
The interesting thing that you might consider is this:
Men now perceive that women lie about their own pains so routinely that we are beginning to question their claims about rape. It’s essentially a “Boy Who Cried Wolf” problem: if women shriek about pregnancy, periods, and daily emotional tribulations at the top of their lungs and we know they’re full of it, why should we believe them about rape?
And if a man concludes that they’re just whining about rape, the same as they whine about everything else, then what’s the actual problem in raping a woman? She’ll whine anyway, so what’s one more whine?
I’m not condoning rape, but I am suggesting that in the context of women whining about everything, whining about rape starts to sound just as disingenuous.
For one thing, very few rapists use condoms or lube. For another, it, again, is deeply degrading and humiliating. The psychological damage is often profound.
Okay, say the rapist uses condoms and lube. That eliminates the risk of STIs and makes penetration considerably easier. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not encouraging rape but I’m casting doubt on the seriousness of its effects on the victim.
Women have a tendency to exaggerate the nature of their own suffering, particularly with relation to sexual crimes. It is a forgone conclusion that the seriousness of rape is exaggerated, the only question is by how much? My guess is, considerably!
http://www.google.ro/search?hl=ro&q=women+and+sarcasm&meta=
I think there is some wisdom in the song “Guns don’t kill people…rappers do”…I would blame MTV rather than the GTA game! ;-)
Excuse me everyone. I went off on a tangent right there…
Carry on.
Oh, unless, of course, you buy legally from an unlicensed vendor at a gunshow or through classified ads in the newspaper. Then you can drill people that same day.
No criminal record check required or performed.
No waiting period.