Ask Dick: Why is Prostitution Illegal?
The following question was sent to me by a reader Erik.
Here in America prostitution is illegal, yet pornography is completely okay so long as all participants are eighteen and over. This is what confuses me: Is pornography (that is to say, intercourse between two parties) not the same as prostitution?
Why is prostitution illegal?
Good question, Erik. Now prepare your mind for a mantomic explosion of answer.
Prostitution is illegal because women hate the fuck out of each other.
Men love women. I’m a man and I love women so much I would have sex with all of them if I could. Even the fat ones.
Fat women are like dessert trolleys. They’re stuffed with desserts and they’re no good in the sack.
Let’s look at the facts.
Men give women free cars and free money so women can drive to the mall and blow that free money on useless bullshit. That’s nice of us. Men also built strip clubs and Hooters so women can easily put themselves through medical school. Again, quite nice of us. Do you know how much money strippers make every night for doing almost nothing? Like two grand. That’s just more good old benevolent men footing the tab at the foot of the stage. Men are like fire hoses of altruism. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got the window closed, we’re busting it the fuck down with generosity. Clean yourself up.
That’s where prostitution comes in. Men invented prostitution so no woman anywhere would ever have a single problem in her life.
Unless you call too much sex a problem!
Women’s magazines, women’s financial manuals (which include such gems as: be more confident when asking for a raise. While you’re at it, grow a penis, honey jugs. That’s about as likely as a woman growing a backbone), and women’s fitness classes, are all full of lady-problems solved very easily by man’s first invention: prostitution.
Prostitution is the only way in the world you can get free money. You don’t even have to stand in line like you do for welfare. Prostitution comes to you.
Have a bite of this logical Manwich.
All women use prostitution to get free sushi without batting an eye. Sushi is fucking expensive. Ergo, women use prostitution to get free money. Or is every woman at a sushi bar somehow not a prostitute?
The reason prostitution is illegal is women hate seeing other women having it easy. Remember how many women called Anna Nichole Smith a whore when she married that old rich guy? Look at how many women hate Heather Mills. Yes, Heather Mills is a cunt, but women don’t know that. They just hate Heather Mills because she has it easy.
Women are nature’s spanner. Once you’ve got some shit together and some man cogs lined up cranking out the good times, in is chucked a woman and mucked go your gears. That’s what women did with prostitution.
I think that’s what the Bible means allegorically speaking when it says Eve ruined the Garden of Eden. Prostitution was busy solving all the problems of womankind while men solved their own, but women had to go and wreck it with a fucking fascist crusade. I don’t know what the apple means as a metaphor though. Maybe it just represents something shiny. Women will do anything for shiny.
If you really want the whole scoop here, I can only recommend the following. Pay the next woman you’re going to have sex with 20 bucks before you do. And make sure she knows what it’s for.
You’ll thank me for it.
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March 27th, 2007 at 4:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
yea really, seems to me more like a fearful aversion to using it in case they stuff it up and look incompetent.
March 27th, 2007 at 5:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: cdf951e8caf59
“Fantasy rape” is a long-time favorite for feminist women who are too ugly to get a real man.
March 27th, 2007 at 5:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 620db7e22a363
@Alex - no need to apologize, while I was being sarcastic Sonyad’s point about women being obsessed with rape was spot on.
@Luka - Interesting, however, is it not true that rape is an act of control or dominance rather than sex? This being the case, the underlying desire of fantasy rape would be the desire to be dominated. The lack of control concerning what is being done to you in a sexual manner. In either case the same thing occurs, to what degree and the willingness of the one being raped is all that is really different. So, would you not agree that a rape fantasy is a sad thing and might indeed serve to encourage rape itself?
-Oldone
March 27th, 2007 at 5:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5e32b3f9ccec1
I have always been deeply suspicious that women actually exaggerate the seriousness of rape. It makes perfect sense for them to do so considering that rape is a crime for which women can never be charged (Apart from in extremely unlikely circumstances). I’m sorry, but the act of a penis going into a vagina seems so mundane. Can a penis going into a vagina really be any worse than, say, being beaten-up? Surely being beaten-up is much worse due to the risk of life-threatening physical injury. Apart from the transmission of unwanted sexual diseases, and fear thereof, I simply cannot see how rape is so damaging or unpleasant. There’s so much femmie-propaganda clouding the whole issue of rape that it’s difficult to know the truth of the matter short of experiencing it personally.
Then again, I may be wrong. Being raped may be a truly terrible experience, but I can’t see how. It seems as though rape is bad because women say it is and that’s the end of the discussion. Hmmm…
March 27th, 2007 at 5:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Amusing and accurate! It is amazing how much sense men can make while also being humourous, unlike female[s] who tend to chatter blandly and senselessly.
March 27th, 2007 at 5:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9342b2aa308e5
I can’t speak for Dick while SOTS and Luka need to work that out between themselves(Pssst, don’t tell her but I have a crush on Luka). Meanwhile you were wrong about prostitution as a legal and taxed profession - in the Aus context at least.
March 27th, 2007 at 6:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
Are you for real? What’s the time for my crime, sir? 1000 floggings? LOL honeybuns, bring it on! Now, if you want to get pedantic about it and continue a waste of time argument, I wasn’t wrong because if you read my first post you would see I said it was legal in brothels and illegal on the street in our country. Which brings up an interesting point, why is it illegal on the street? Is it to give prostitutes some measure of safety by confining them to secure premises where they can have security cameras, or is it because men don’t want women to approach them on the street in front of their wives or families and thus embarrass them?
March 27th, 2007 at 6:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5e32b3f9ccec1
How implausible to suggest that street prostitution is because men don’t want to be pestered on the street. It’s always men’s fault…
Almost all businesses have to operate from licensed premises rather than touting for business in the street. Why should prostitution be exempt from this rule?
March 27th, 2007 at 6:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: cdf951e8caf59
@ Female - Can’t you answer your own question with an answer for a change, instead of a brigade of more questions?
It’s illegal on the street because prostitutes are annoying. They’re like the women who post on this site, always around when they’re unwanted and uninvited. It isn’t a felony, but it sure is a fucking nuisance that a man would ever have to step out of the house in the morning everyday only to see the first slut of the day.
March 27th, 2007 at 6:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
Thanks for supporting my theory, Order. Maybe some men are capable of being honest.
March 27th, 2007 at 6:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 35a3bf5e9bc19
You should have replaced men with women. Because the reason women get angry us is because we are honest. Most women don’t like the truth.
March 27th, 2007 at 7:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: cdf951e8caf59
Female, if I supported any theory that you had, perhaps I missed it. I am, after all, a man who’s blind to any theories women may have, especially when they all lead to nothing, or in every other case, nothing but trouble.
Indeed Necro, women’s anger is a product of us men not only being honest and ultimately correct, but of men who are healthy and able to be correct at all times. The only excercise women do are strethcing the truth and jumping to conclusions, which is why they’re lazy and for the most part, wrong.
March 27th, 2007 at 7:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 29f4af41a870b
Women in arguements is like the special olympics.
No matter who wins, no one does.
March 27th, 2007 at 9:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
When Sydney had the Olympics I decided not to attend any of the able bodied events and only go to the Special Olympic events. The stadiums were nearly empty and although that was sad to see, it enabled me to get a front row seat every time so that was good. And let me tell you that watching people with only one leg compete in long jump etc was amazing and inspiring.
March 27th, 2007 at 10:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6f5a4284b09d6
Right - inspiring like breaking all a horse’s legs and sending it out to compete in the derby. Inspiring like watching a man with no arms try to eat a meal. Enjoy the freak show folks, just so long as you feel “inspired.” Typical touchy-feely female bullshit. I’ve known a few cripples over the years and believe me, the last thing they want is your dewey-eyed “inspiration,” which is just another way of saying “I feel sorry for you.” Bah, humbug.
March 27th, 2007 at 10:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
Bzzzz. Wrong. I certainly didn’t feel sorry for them, as I said, it was amazing, precisely because they were such amazing athletes even with their disabilities. Hence, the inspiration part of the equation.
March 28th, 2007 at 2:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 5d7328f0fd6f4
Well…. fantasy and reality are two different things. Just because you fantasize about something doesn’t mean you want it to happen in real life. Regardless of whether or not rape is about dominance, whenever a woman fantasizes about it she is still in control of that fantasy. She chooses where it takes place, who “rapes” her and how.
In a real rape situation she has no such control, she doesn’t even want it to happen and it is humiliating and painful rather than pleasurable.
It is exactly this element of control that especially appeals to real rape/sexually abused victims, or so I read. Painful as though their experiences might be, having control of a similar situation that gives them pleasure instead of pain might be a means of putting their experience onto a different level.
I think rape fantasies are just fantasies. Fantasies are not a problem provided you know that they are not the same as reality and shouldn’t be acted upon. What people fantasize about is a private and individualistic thing, and if some women gain pleasure from this idea of being raped, that is up to them…they probably don’t even know why they like the idea, but it doesn’t stop them liking the idea.
I don’t see how a woman’s private sexual fantasies have any bearing whatsoever on another person’s motivation to rape. A few guys here might have read a few women’s rape fantasy stories, does that mean they are going to go off and rape someone? I doubt it. Saying that having rape fantasies encourages the act of rape is like saying that violence in games and on TV makes children violent. Just because I watch a film like 300 or a gangster movie, will that make me want to start a gang and shoot people? No.
March 28th, 2007 at 2:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 5d7328f0fd6f4
Okay, I think the only way that feminists are over-exaggerating anything about rape is to do with how often it happens. I am very suspicious of the figures that they give with regards to the number of women raped every year, but that is because a lot of these figures are partly guess work.
I think you miss the point about the actual nature of rape…rape isn’t just a penis going into the vagina. It is about being violently forced into intimate and private acts that you do not want to do.
The vagina is a very sensitive organ, having someone force themselves inside you especially when you are frightened, tense and dry is going to be extremely painful. A woman may very well be beaten as she is raped, so your comment about rape not being worse that being beaten does not make much sense.
Simply being beaten up doesn’t really measure up to rape, although it is physically damaging. With a rape, not only has someone abused you in a way that is very intimate and private, but on top of that they have beaten you, humiliated you, put you at risk of contracting nasty sexual diseases such as HIV and put you in a situation where you could be pregnant and have to deal with all the consequences from that. The effects of such an ordeal do not stop at the physical injuries from rape, but psychological ones as well.
I think the ultimate crime about rape is when something that should be loving, pleasurable and intimate like sex is turned into an act of humiliation, fear and pain. If the victim is a child they are robbed of their innocence, and the effects upon them as they grow into sexual aduts are long-term and profound. Men also suffer from sexual abuse and rape, and I am sure they will also say that it is a degrading experience. You don’t have to just ask feminists about rape, ask the real people who have experienced it. You will get your answer.
March 28th, 2007 at 2:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Not necessarily. But in the US you could have your very own GTA3 style Columbine within two weeks if you just wanted to. Now including fully automatic assault rifles and smgs.
California, for example, has a 10 day waiting period for any firearm. Add a few hours driving if you’re out of state.
Don’t you feel safe living in the US of A knowing that? Oh, wait. You’re British.
You must be living in a concentration camp…
Of course it’s games’ fault! What were you thinking?!
March 28th, 2007 at 2:37 am - IP Man-Hash: 5d7328f0fd6f4
LMAO!
Bodice ripping? Anyone?