Ask Dick: Why is Prostitution Illegal?
The following question was sent to me by a reader Erik.
Here in America prostitution is illegal, yet pornography is completely okay so long as all participants are eighteen and over. This is what confuses me: Is pornography (that is to say, intercourse between two parties) not the same as prostitution?
Why is prostitution illegal?
Good question, Erik. Now prepare your mind for a mantomic explosion of answer.
Prostitution is illegal because women hate the fuck out of each other.
Men love women. I’m a man and I love women so much I would have sex with all of them if I could. Even the fat ones.
Fat women are like dessert trolleys. They’re stuffed with desserts and they’re no good in the sack.
Let’s look at the facts.
Men give women free cars and free money so women can drive to the mall and blow that free money on useless bullshit. That’s nice of us. Men also built strip clubs and Hooters so women can easily put themselves through medical school. Again, quite nice of us. Do you know how much money strippers make every night for doing almost nothing? Like two grand. That’s just more good old benevolent men footing the tab at the foot of the stage. Men are like fire hoses of altruism. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got the window closed, we’re busting it the fuck down with generosity. Clean yourself up.
That’s where prostitution comes in. Men invented prostitution so no woman anywhere would ever have a single problem in her life.
Unless you call too much sex a problem!
Women’s magazines, women’s financial manuals (which include such gems as: be more confident when asking for a raise. While you’re at it, grow a penis, honey jugs. That’s about as likely as a woman growing a backbone), and women’s fitness classes, are all full of lady-problems solved very easily by man’s first invention: prostitution.
Prostitution is the only way in the world you can get free money. You don’t even have to stand in line like you do for welfare. Prostitution comes to you.
Have a bite of this logical Manwich.
All women use prostitution to get free sushi without batting an eye. Sushi is fucking expensive. Ergo, women use prostitution to get free money. Or is every woman at a sushi bar somehow not a prostitute?
The reason prostitution is illegal is women hate seeing other women having it easy. Remember how many women called Anna Nichole Smith a whore when she married that old rich guy? Look at how many women hate Heather Mills. Yes, Heather Mills is a cunt, but women don’t know that. They just hate Heather Mills because she has it easy.
Women are nature’s spanner. Once you’ve got some shit together and some man cogs lined up cranking out the good times, in is chucked a woman and mucked go your gears. That’s what women did with prostitution.
I think that’s what the Bible means allegorically speaking when it says Eve ruined the Garden of Eden. Prostitution was busy solving all the problems of womankind while men solved their own, but women had to go and wreck it with a fucking fascist crusade. I don’t know what the apple means as a metaphor though. Maybe it just represents something shiny. Women will do anything for shiny.
If you really want the whole scoop here, I can only recommend the following. Pay the next woman you’re going to have sex with 20 bucks before you do. And make sure she knows what it’s for.
You’ll thank me for it.
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March 27th, 2007 at 10:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Cassius, Europe is not a country. Yet.
Family code is not homogenous and legislation might take some time to be aligned between all the member states and their varying degrees of feminisation/familial and social conservatorism.
How divorce tourism came into being.
All countries and peoples are not Godless or Sweden. Not even in Europe.
March 27th, 2007 at 11:12 am - IP Man-Hash: c84cf03fe9f40
Aye.. these women are out there providing a much needed service.
Those men could have snapped and turned to rape.. but because they have women who need money.. and men that need sex.. a business is setup and both customer and provider come away happy.
Plus.. a good hooker keeps her clients happy with her trade.
You think that Heather McCartney chick is still gonna do anal after she traps a man? HA.. I think not.
March 27th, 2007 at 12:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5e32b3f9ccec1
I never knew she did anal, but somehow I’m not surprised.
You know, I recently read Sex-Ploytation by Matthew Fitzgerald and in it he claimed the reason men sometimes rape is because women withhold sex in order to obtain money. It’s interesting to note that human beings are the only species that commit rape, it doesn’t occur anywhere in the animal kingdom. Human females have a tendency to be mercenary with their vaginas rather than simply enjoying sex for its own sake.
Incidentally, Sex-Ploytation is an excellent book and a must-read for men.
March 27th, 2007 at 12:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0da82aefb99ab
http://www.boundless.org/2000/features/a0000236.html
March 27th, 2007 at 12:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
Dr. Z is a woman and thus not worth listening to.
A man would have prefaced a link with a one sentence explanation. Women just waste everyone’s time with bullshit, prostitute games.
-Dick
March 27th, 2007 at 2:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0da82aefb99ab
I didn’t want to waste anyone’s mantastic time. Kudos for figuring it out, Dick. Only took you three or four posts.
March 27th, 2007 at 2:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: fbaff05315d13
Chimpanzees rape regularly. So do dolphins.
My experience with zoology consists of watching 5 minute spurts of Discovery channel yet I know this, because I’m a man.
March 27th, 2007 at 2:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
What’s with women and their obsession with rape? Most every topic here explicitly about sex seems to get diverted to it sooner or later.
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March 27th, 2007 at 2:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Aye, should’ve added nofollow property.
March 27th, 2007 at 2:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: 620db7e22a363
Perhaps women are so obsessed with rape because deep down all women want to be taken forcefully. Perhaps because women know that men are their leaders and they are just waiting for some man to put them in their place and tell them what to do. Just a theory.
Oldone
March 27th, 2007 at 3:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Can’t be just any man though, can it? Or any time.
I posit the conspicuous threat of sudden or likely graphic death at the whim of predators, marauding invaders and competing tribes or the simple risk of famine or disease that our ancestors likely consistently faced insured women were much more receptive of amorous advances.
Eros and Thanatos. Mate now lest tomorrow be too late.
Not so today. With women safely and comfortably cocooned in the womb of civilisation men have created or lead to believe themselves as such.
Just throw a bogus charge all through the media of an asteroid predicted to smack our little rock within the year and watch women revert to the programmed input/output nature intended, but quick.
March 27th, 2007 at 4:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 620db7e22a363
Agreed Sonyad, certainly it would have to be the right kind men. Though, that again would require men of considerable strength. Free of the feminizing influences that seem to abound and permeate so much of us today. Men like this are of course be brow beaten and ridiculed as being barbarians and thoughtless brutes. Which would of course just be the women’s way of saying that they are manly man. None the less, they are to be ostracized and driven away, made to think that society no longer needs them. Oddly, what society needs most is for men to step once more into the forefront and lead society as is intended. After all, is that not why we are here? Is this not why Dick created this site? At least in the days of our marauding ancestors, women knew their place. :-)
-Oldone
March 27th, 2007 at 4:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: d2bf73bae8061
“Perhaps women are so obsessed with rape because deep down all women want to be taken forcefully. Perhaps because women know that men are their leaders and they are just waiting for some man to put them in their place and tell them what to do. Just a theory.”
Wrong.
March 27th, 2007 at 4:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I can think of nothing more humiliating or offending, in my conception, to a man than being sworn into office, for example, by a woman.
Or have his shield handed to him for the first time at his swearing in by a woman. Or having to pledge oath for allegiance and lealty for the country to a woman.
I cringed when I saw just this in ‘The 300 Spartans’ of ‘69.
Also demeaning and impossible a situation is to have to fight or work under a woman hierarchicly or to be expected to fight a woman in combat. I believe I’ve said this before.
One should just have the option to fuck the living daylights out of her or simply walk away. Intrinsic part of freedom to religion.
Others might feel differently.
March 27th, 2007 at 4:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6545d23cd19c2
I did a bit of research and read through a few female erotica short stories.
There is quite a majority of literature devoted to the female rape fantasy created by female authors.
Kinda sad.
March 27th, 2007 at 4:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 620db7e22a363
EvilEddy, hmmm most interesting, I was actually just being overly sarcastic but it seems I was in some way correct as well. Figures though I am a man. It is rather sad that a person would fantasize about being raped. If this is true, do not get me wrong I do not doubt you; then one must wonder if rape is as prominent as we would are lead to believe? Since one cannot rape a willing person. Still, rather sad that rape would be looked upon as being desirable and exciting. Especially from the point of a “victim.”
-Oldone
March 27th, 2007 at 4:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 71eaeac99a872
March 27th, 2007 at 4:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Men also have the monopoly on using the quote functions correctly.
March 27th, 2007 at 4:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: d2bf73bae8061
Ah, my apologizes Oldone, I thought you meant what you said literally rather than sarcastically.
March 27th, 2007 at 4:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5d7328f0fd6f4
Oldone, there is a difference between real rape and fantasy rape, as far as I can tell.
A woman may like the idea of the man taking control and urgently desiring her, it could be the whole concept of surrending oneself to another in the midst of intense passion and desire…. it might involve a bit of tearing at clothes (anyone for a bit of bodice ripping?) and pulling of hair etc. some women (who are more BSDM inclined) might like more “violence” in the act.
However there is a massive difference between the fantasy of being “raped” and the reality. In the fantasy, no matter how much she imagines being at the mercy of some “brute” taking her (supposedly against her will) she is still in control, she chooses the situation…in as such the whole idea is an act of surrender, rather than that of brutality and violence.
Real rape is (I would imagine) an act that is both painful and humiliating. I would find it hard to believe that women would take much pleasure from experiencing or imagining a real rape.